“You should’ve told me,” Mantis said to Razor when Alegria and Dutch walked in the front door.

“They didn’t know you’d be here either,” Razor answered, although Mantis already guessed as much based on the look on both of their faces.

Dutch walked straight over to him, while Alegria was waylaid by the group gathering around her at the front door.

“Connecticut?”

“Whatever.” Mantis walked away, but Dutch followed.

“She isn’t doing very well.”

“Then you should take better care of her.”

Dutch scrubbed his face with his hand. “She needs you.”

Mantis was livid, more because Dutch was pulling this shit in a room full of people than from what he was saying. Granted, no one could hear them, but if Mantis did what he wanted to do and slammed his fist into Dutch’s face, all eyes would be on them.

“You don’t think I knew you wanted her? Now you’ve got her. Be thankful and leave me the hell alone.”

When he went to get a plate, Dutch didn’t follow, and for that, Mantis was thankful.

The man, or men, he was pissed at more than anyone else were Razor and Gunner, but he got it. If they’d told him Dutch and Alegria were coming, he would’ve left, and they both knew it.

“We’d like to propose a toast,” said Razor, holding up his glass. “If we could have your attention for a minute.”

“We should’ve waited until everyone was eating and was quiet,” said Gunner, raising his glass too.

“Yeah, well, they aren’t eating until we make this toast, so they better pipe down.”

Once everyone stopped talking, Razor looked around the room. “Everyone got a drink? If not, my beautiful, smart, gracious wife and her equally amazing twin will bring you a glass.”

Mantis stepped forward and took a glass of red wine. He swirled and sniffed, recognizing the Burgundy right away. The Tollot-Beaut from Chorey-lès-Beaune was one of his favorites. Manon’s too. In fact, he’d bet she’d recommended it.

The anger he’d felt at Dutch seemed to fade away when her eyes met his from across the room. He raised his glass. “To you,” he mouthed, took a drink, and then turned back toward Razor.

“Everyone ready?”

The group collectively responded with murmurs of assent.

“First of all, I want to thank all of you for being here with us today, and to Alegria, for having a case of this fabulous wine delivered yesterday.”

All eyes turned to her, including his.

“À votre santé,” Gunner toasted, but Mantis hardly heard it above everything Manon’s eyes were saying to him. Longing and love—he recognized both. She didn’t blink as she took a drink at the same time he did.

When Dutch approached and put his arm around her shoulders, the spell was broken. Mantis turned away from them both and took another drink.

He would allow himself one glass. No more than that, for once dinner was over, he’d find his hosts, thank them, and leave. In the meantime, he intended to stay as far away from Alegria and Dutch as he could.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked Striker and Aine, who were seated outside on the deck, at a table with only one open seat.

“Please,” answered Aine. “Have you met my mother?”

“I haven’t. Gehring Cassman, but most people here call me Mantis.”

“What a fascinating nickname. How did you get it?”

“His freakishly abnormal stereoscopic vision,” said Striker between forkfuls of turkey and stuffing. “It’s his call sign. Mantis is a pilot.”

“Actually, I was given the name due to my supernatural powers.”

Striker laughed. “You keep telling yourself that.”

Mantis heard a familiar ring tone and watched as Striker stood and pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Excuse me,” he said, his playful demeanor abruptly changing.

Striker was far enough away that no one could hear what he was saying, but Mantis knew what the tone meant. Soon he’d return to the table and let Mantis know where he needed to go and how quickly he needed to get there. As the only pilot here, other than Alegria, who wouldn’t be flying again anytime soon, he’d take the assignment without question or hesitation. It’s what he would’ve done if he were one of twenty pilots here.

“Aine, can I speak to you privately?” Striker said when he returned to the table. He turned to him. “Mantis, stand by.”

“Roger that.”

Mantis finished the food on his plate, took it inside, and dumped the rest of the wine in his glass.

“What’s going on?” asked Alegria.

Mantis hadn’t seen her follow him into the kitchen.

“I’m afraid Mantis and I have to cut our visit short,” answered Striker, coming back inside with Aine.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Alegria,” admonished Striker, looking directly at Aine and her mother, who had just walked into the room.

“I’ll just say my goodbyes. Fifteen minutes?” Mantis said to Striker.

“Roger that.”

“Wait.” Mantis felt Alegria’s hand on his arm when he went to look for Razor and Gunner. He closed his eyes, wishing he didn’t have to have this conversation.

“Where are you going?” she asked again.

“I don’t know.”

“And you agreed to the op anyway.”

“Look around you. Who else is there, Alegria?”

“It wouldn’t matter if there were five other pilots here,” she said, echoing the thoughts he’d just had.

“Let it be,” he said, softening his voice. “It was nice to see you today.”

When she unexpectedly threw her arms around him, Mantis took a deep breath and rested his head against the side of hers.

“Be safe,” she whispered.

“Always, mon coeur.” The words were rote, but that didn’t diminish their meaning. She’d been his heart for most of his life. Whether they were together or not, wouldn’t change that. Maybe one day another woman would take her place, but he didn’t see that happening any time soon.

Dutch stood to the side and watched the two people who mattered more to him than any others, wishing things were the way they used to be between them.

Mantis walked away from Alegria, and straight over to Dutch.

“Shipping out. I’ll be in touch.”

“Be safe,” said Dutch, reaching out to shake his hand.

“What’s that shit?” Mantis said, pulling him into a hug.

“I didn’t know—”

“You always know.”

Dutch felt like a bigger asshole than he had a few minutes ago. They’d never let each other leave without a proper send-off.

“Godspeed,” he said, squeezing Mantis’ shoulder.

“Appreciate it.”

Dutch looked into Alegria’s eyes when Mantis walked away. They were filled with so much sadness, it nearly shredded his heart. She was like a bird with a broken wing, powerless to do the thing she was best at—fly.

It wouldn’t be long before she mended, and when she did, would the time come when she finally admitted she wanted Mantis more than she wanted him?

Her own stubborn pride put her where she was, and would keep her there if she didn’t let it go and tell Mantis she forgave him.

Was that even fair? Was choosing to live by the commitment he’d made to serve his country something he should be forgiven for?

She wanted him to choose her, and he hadn’t, and that’s the part she hadn’t been able to forgive—until the day in the hospital when she woke up and he was there.

From that moment on, she’d been questioning the decision she made to end things with Mantis. No matter how strongly she denied the things Dutch said about her still loving Mantis, was he wrong?

She wasn’t being any more fair to Dutch than she had been to Mantis when she’d given him the ultimatum. Dutch loved her, and all he wanted in return was for her to love him back. She did, but not in the way he wanted. There was only one man she loved the way Dutch wanted her to love him—Mantis. Could what she felt for Dutch be enough for him, or would the time come when he walked away from her too?

“Where are we going?”

Striker sighed. “I won’t know for sure until I receive the briefing.”

“Not the final destination, Striker. I need to know where we’re going now. I can’t submit a flight plan unless I know where I’m taking you.”

“Right. Sorry. McLean.”

Mantis nodded. “Headquarters.”

“We had plans.”

“What’s that?”

“Aine and I. I was supposed to spend the rest of the week with her. I rented this car for our drive up the coast. I was taking her back to Yachats.”

“Sorry, man.”

“I thought that once I quit working for the company, I’d be able to choose.”

Striker looked over at Mantis when he didn’t respond. “No comment?”

“It’s never been a choice for me, Striker.”

“Elaborate.”

“That’s what ended Alegria and me. She thought I had a choice.”

“We need to talk.”

“Dutch, I’m exhausted and I want to sleep.”

“I know, but if I don’t do this now, I’m afraid I won’t do it at all.”

Alegria sighed and folded her arms. “What is it?”

“I saw what happened with Mantis.”

“What’s your point?”

“Why can’t you admit that you’re still in love with him?”

“I can’t do this now. What’s more? I won’t. I’m tired. I’m in pain, and I have no intention of discussing it with you.”

“What if you have no choice?” he asked.

“I always have a choice,” she answered.