Fire radiated off her skin, threatening to make the tears fall from her eyes, but she knew enough to keep it together. Stirring dinner, she tried to contain the pain as he looked on from a short distance behind her.

He watched from his perch as one of the children ran up to her, stopping dead in his tracks when he caught sight of her face. Red and ashine, he made no attempt to hide his surprise. He too knew to hold his tongue as his father continued to watch, not saying a word, just taking in the scene before him.

“How long until dinner?” Eight-year-old Cody asked, fearful of saying anything else. Though he’d never been hurt by his father’s hand, he’d seen what happened to her when he became too curious.

“Almost done,” she replied with a stoic smile. “Just needs a few more minutes. Why don’t you go wash up, and let your brothers and sister know it is almost ready?”

Eyes followed them both through this innocent conversation. Even though they couldn’t see his gaze, they felt it as they continued preparing for the meal.

“Smells good,” he said as he stood behind her.

She hadn’t realized he’d left the chair until she felt his hot breath against her skin.

With a small crack in her voice she knew he wouldn’t appreciate but she couldn’t help, she made sure to answer straight away.

“It’s almost ready.”

“Good.”

His short reply sent chills down her spine. At five feet eleven, Randall Kirkland towered over her as she kept her sights purely focused on not burning the meal.

He moved away from her when the kids made their way into the dining room to set the table, just like she had asked. The reprieve gave her just enough time to regain her composure.

“Why don’t you sit? I’ll bring out dinner.”

Scooping the meal into a presentable bowl, Katie grabbed a serving spoon. She twirled around the room effortlessly, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Had it not been for the pain radiating off her cheek, any outside person would have taken in the picturesque scene with a man and a woman and several children and thought that seemed to effortlessly interact together in a loving way.

Hardly anyone knew the truth.

“Katelyn,” he drawled out now, shaking her from the thoughts spiraling in her mind. Watching her with narrowed eyes, Randall pushed back in his chair, his intention to stand clearly evident in his mannerisms.

Before he could do so, however, Katie sent him a small smile that he took as some sort a gesture on her part. Hastily she realized her error, tried to correct herself with his warning.

With a smile for his children that seemed to make them all sit up at attention, Randall scanned the room as each and every one of his family waited for his next move.

With bated breath, she could feel the tension in the air.

“Smells wonderful, Katie. Let’s eat.”

And with those words, everyone at the table seemed to exhale a long-held breath. The oldest doled out food for the youngest as Katie served Randall.

Then he grabbed her wrist, making her eyes shoot up to meet his. With a cold stare, she knew what he was saying without verbalizing it. Just wait until we are alone. It was a warning of sorts, a reminder that she needed to keep herself in check throughout this meal. Uncertain what lay ahead for her now, the realization of what her life had become nearly caused her knees to buckle.

It wasn’t always like this, Katie told herself as she began to eat next to him. They had met just over four years ago, back when Katie was a waitress working her way through school to become an executive assistant. She’d had plans of working alongside Fortune 500 executives, not caught up in the stress of that world per se, but close enough to enjoy the activity of it. She’d wanted to help venture capitalists achieve greater things. She’d wanted to be the woman behind the scenes that helped make it all happen.

So what had happened? She had no idea, but just shy of her last year in college she had met Randall, and her world hadn’t been the same since.

Randall Kirkland emanated what she believed were the qualities of a stoic man. He was well-spoken, well-mannered, and authoritative. Not to mention handsome as sin. How could a girl not fall for him when he set his sights on her? She’d fallen head over heels in love with him within months of dating—rather quickly, by all accounts—but she’d decided that this was the person she was meant to be with. Courting her with expensive meals at the most sought-after restaurants, Randall had known how to charm just about anyone.

Except her mother. Katie’s mother seemed to be the only one that did not take to Randall’s charms. No matter how many times he would try to win her over, she would never budge. After just a few months together, Katie ended up married to Randall despite her mother’s uncertainty, and all the dreams she’d planned for herself flew right out the window.

She’d quit school shortly after she found out that he had children he expected her to raise. Expectations were another thing entirely in his world. It did not take long after the wedding to find out that Randall wasn’t the charmer he’d pretended to be, especially when she made an error, as he put it, in front of his coworkers and friends.

It had all started at a Christmas party held by his firm six months after the wedding. She’d been so excited to attend and play the doting wife that she’d gone out and bought a new dress. She’d also had her nails, hair, and makeup done. After all, she’d been well-prepared to work in that kind of atmosphere as an executive assistant, so this holiday party should have been a piece of cake for her.

Randall had had business to attend to, and he’d decided that they should meet up at the hotel, where the party was to be held. So Katie got a babysitter for the kids and made reservations at the hotel for them to stay over, so they had the freedom to drink if they desired. She’d been making an extra effort to make this a honeymoon of sorts, since they’d never got a chance to have one after the wedding.

Arriving before Randall, Katie had worked the room, charming her husband’s friends and coworkers the way she had learned as a waitress. She’d smiled her brightest smile, spoke eloquently with the higher-ups, and had seemed to hit it off with all the wives in attendance. Randall would be so proud of the efforts she had made to fit into his world.

But when Randall had arrived, all the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, and nervous butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She’d met his gaze expecting approval for all the effort she’d put into assimilating herself into his world, but instead, all she found was fury.

He’d played coy as he too worked the room, but as soon as he was back by her side, the butterflies in her stomach that had fluttered when she’d first felt his presence fluttered for a completely different reason, especially once he roughly took hold of her elbow. Her face had dropped as he’d held her close enough to whisper in her ear. She remembered his hot breath tickling her neck as he spoke.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Each word had been accentuated with a sharp click of his tongue.

Unable to contain herself, her expression had told everyone around them how upset he was with her. This had only infuriated him more. Closing the distance between them once again, he had whisper in her ear again.

“I can’t wait until I get you alone. Now smile, before someone thinks something is wrong.”

Katie had never smiled so hard in her life, but it for all the wrong reasons. She had plastered her features into the semblance of a happy woman escorted by her wonderful husband, hoping that only she knew the ugly truth.

After several hours grasped tightly by his side, she had attempted to excuse herself and pull herself together, but his grip had become unbearable, making her cry out from the pain. Meeting her gaze with narrow eyes, Katie had meekly requested to be excused. With no one anywhere near the two of them, he had still refused her any space.

“No, you may not be excused.” His curt voice had drawn the attention of some of his coworkers, who were several feet away. “You can just wait until we get upstairs,” he continued in a more hushed tone.

How he’d found out about the room she’d booked for the evening she didn’t know, but the honeymoon she’d envisioned in her mind was most certainly over before it had ever began.

 

***

 

The sharp clang of metal hitting porcelain pulled her back to the present moment and made her jump in her seat. A broken dish was the last thing she needed right now. Randall was angry enough; she didn’t need anything to add to it.

“May I be excused?” The middle child asked of her father.

Randall’s children were usually never in his direct path of fury. Thankfully, they were mostly shielded from that side of him. He always made sure to keep his rage in the most private of places where others were not privileged to witness it firsthand.

“Of course, honey. Just be sure to do your homework so Kate can check it over before bed.”

Whipping her gaze to him, she saw his lips fall into a line as he looked on to challenge her. She just smiled, however, and nodded her agreement without saying a word otherwise.

“Actually, I think you are all allowed to leave the table. Go play or do your homework, just so long as you go to your rooms and leave us in peace.”

Seemingly unaware, or just not caring about any problem that may exist between the adults, each child stood from the table and left the room.

“Clean this up, fast. I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

“Yes, of course.”

Without looking at him she cleared each dish from the table, bringing everything into the kitchen as quickly as possible. Placing the leftovers in the fridge and the dirty dishes along with the silverware in the dishwasher, she hurried through her chores so to not infuriate him any further. But just as she was about to turn the dishwasher on, she felt him suddenly behind her.

“I said hurry up,” he growled loud in her ear.

She shivered in response, but not in an anticipatory kind of way. More in a scared-to-death, what-will-happen-next kind of way.

“I’m done.”

She turned to finally look at him, to try and read his features. He intimidated her as he towered over her body. Bafflement sparked her curiosity as to what she could have possibly done to cause his rage this time, but she knew not to challenge or verbalize it to him. It seemed her mere presence was enough these days, so why add more to it?

Taking her by the wrist, they made their way to the master bedroom, which was located clear across the house. Privacy was his plan when he’d had this house built. The additional soundproofing ensured it even further. Once the door closed behind her, he flung her around to face him, nearly causing her to collide with his broad chest.

“You are determined to make me look the fool, even in front of my own children,” he spat out against her cheek. Rage rose off him in waves.

“No, Randall, that was never my intention.”

Self-preservation kicking into high gear, she took a tentative step back away from him, but she was unable to go too far as his grip tightened further.

“Even now you challenge me. Why?”

“I’m sorry, Randall. Please.”

Her body involuntarily shook from fear, knowing what he was probably going to do next.

“That’s not an answer, Kate, and you know it. Why do we have to have this discussion all the time? Haven’t you learned anything since we’ve been married?”

“Please, Randall. Don’t hurt me.”

Her voice was small and pleading, even breaking as she tried to no avail to reach some part of him that felt something kind for her. She knew it wouldn’t change the outcome, but she still had to try. As he approached, her body began to ready itself for the impact. It was as though her body had become so accustomed to the abuse, that she no longer even thought of ways to defend herself against his attacks.

She watched as he took his belt off with every step toward her.

“Pleading will only piss me off more. You know that.”

Each of his steps seemed to move slower and slower, as though she was watching some sort of accident in progress that you just couldn’t take your eyes off of.  

“I’m beginning to think that you actually like being punished,” he said with a gleam in his eyes.

She tried to twist her wrist to free herself from his grip, only for it to cause her skin to burn from the friction. The pain would be worth it if it meant she would at least be able to get away from him. As he pulled the rest of his belt free from his pants, he released the iron-vice grip he had on her, giving her just enough of an opportunity to run across the room.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get very far. He grabbed her by the back of her shirt and pulled her toward him in one hard yank that knocked her off her footing. The intensity of his gaze made the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention again, causing a chill to crawl down her spine.

“That’s only going to add to the punishment, love.”

She hated his pet name for her. She actually hated everything about him now. How she ever could have loved a monster like him was something she couldn’t fathom. Monsters didn’t love, and he used those that loved him to twist that love into something ugly and unrecognizable. He didn’t know love at all. How could he? He certainly didn’t love her, not with the way he treated her. If this was his version of love, she really needed to find a way to get him to love her much less.

He pulled on the fabric of her jeans, not even bothering to undo the button or zipper. She cried out as he yanked her pants down her legs, tossing them over his shoulder as he positioned her for what he planned to do next.