The anxiety as I pull up to Julian’s house is out of control. I don’t think I was this nervous the first time I took Bailey out on a date, and he was my first serious relationship in high school. A part of me wants to believe that it’s because he’s an employee, but after listening to my brother tease me about the worst date request ever (and what were the chances of him being there to overhear that) I know the truth. This feels important. Julian is special.

Exiting the truck, I look for the side gate that Julian told me to come in through to be able to reach his downstairs apartment. I’m thankful he told me because I’m nervous enough without meeting his parents. The minute the thought goes through my mind, the front door of the main house opens to reveal an older version of Julian standing in the doorway. “Hello. Are you here for Julian?”

“Yes, sir,” I say as I walk toward the front door with my right hand outstretched.

“I don’t suppose that’s caramel?” he asks pointing at the drink in my left hand after our handshake. Over the last couple of weeks, I’d noticed that Julian likes caramel mocha frappes, and it was a brutally hot day, so I’d picked one up for him on the way over.

“Yes, sir.”

“Based on the family resemblance, am I right in assuming that you’re Jack’s little brother?”

It’s becoming harder not to fidget as Julian’s dad questions me. It’s not only the fact that I haven’t dated anyone in years who lived with their parents to have to be questioned, I’ve literally not dated at all. “Yes, sir. I am.”

A woman I’m assuming is Mrs. Blake walks up to stand next to her husband, and he slips an arm around her waist. She beams at me. “You must be Vaughn. Your brother’s always talked so highly of you.” I smile politely even as that familiar niggle of guilt hits me for wasting time and deserting my family.

Julian’s voice startles me as he comes up from my side, obviously having walked around on the outside of the house from his personal entrance. “Mom, Dad, what are you doing? Why are you interrogating my date?” Then turning to me, he asks, “Why did you go to their door?”

“He didn’t,” Mr. Blake says. “I called him over as soon as he hit the yard.”

Julian narrows his eyes, searching first his father, and then his mother’s face. “Why?”

“Julian,” Mrs. Blake says firmly. “No one is suspecting you of doing anything wrong. When Chuck dropped you off yesterday, I waved him down to come in and say hi, and he spilled the beans about your date and how excited he is. We know what a good family Vaughn comes from, and his reputation for being a good man proceeds him.”

“In other words, don’t get all whacked out,” Mr. Blake says.

My eyebrows rise up on my forehead as my and Julian’s eyes connect. “Um, Dad…”

“No? No good? Wrong context? What?”

His mom looks at her husband and rolls her eyes before turning back to me. “It was nice to meet you, Vaughn. Oh, dear. Technically we didn’t introduce ourselves, did we? I’m Julian’s mom, Rachel, and this hip old guy is his dad, Gary.”

Since I already shook Gary’s hand, I reach out and shake Rachel’s before turning to hand Julian his drink. I’m not sure whose face softens the most by the simple gesture—Julian’s or his mom. Nodding at his parents, I say, “It was nice to meet you both.”

“Yes, it was. Hopefully we’ll get a chance to know each other next time you come around,” Rachel says.

As I follow Julian toward the back of the house, I hear his dad behind us talking to his wife. “Maybe you should’ve invited him to dinner one night.” Julian picks up his pace, and I chuckle while rushing to keep up with him.

Since I know my brother did the remodel on this place ten years ago, it doesn’t surprise me how nice it is, but I’m shocked when I walk through the door that it still looks like a brand-new space. “Have your parents had more work done on this place?”

Julian flashes me a grin as he’s tucking his wallet into his back pocket and grabbing his phone. “It looks like it, right?” I nod. “Nope, my mom just keeps it really nice down here. She didn’t want to rent it out just for the money; she wanted to give people down on their luck an opportunity to get ahead while living in a nice environment. She’s good like that.” He pauses while I spin around in a circle checking out the place. The paint is a soothing cream with white chair rail all the way around on the walls. To one side is an open kitchen from the living room, and the other side of the room has two rooms. I assume one is a bedroom and the other the bathroom. When my eyes hit the dark brown couch with a multi-colored quilt laying over the back, Julian explains, “The place comes furnished and Mom makes sure to have homey touches, like that quilt, everywhere. She tells renters they’re welcome to tell her to take anything they don’t need back upstairs, but people usually leave it just the way Mom sets it up.”

“I’m sure. It’s a really comfortable space down here. I’m surprised anyone ever leaves.”

Julian chuckles. “They probably wouldn’t, but that’s my mom’s main request when people move in. After they get on their feet and save up some money, she likes them to move on so she can invite someone else to rent the place who needs it.”

My eyebrows hit my hairline again. “And that works out? People just leave?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs his shoulders with his hand not holding his frappe out to the side. “Mom makes everyone who lives down here feel like family, so they honor her request. But even when they move out, we still see them. You get an extended family after you’ve lived in my mom’s basement. It’s kinda how it works whether you’re looking for more family or not.”

Julian’s eyes bounce around when I turn to him. There’s no question he’s as nervous and unsure what to do as I am. “How’s your frappe?”

He immediately relaxes as his eyes meet mine. “It’s good. That was nice of you. Thank you.”

“You ready to go?”

“Um, sure. Where are we going though?”

“Since it was a long, hot day, and we’re working again early tomorrow, I made reservations at a steakhouse for dinner tonight so we can talk and get to know each other better. Is that good?” I’d been nervous making dinner reservations, scared that Julian would think it’s lame after a fast-paced life of living with a drug dealer, but the smile that stretches quickly across his face lets me know I did exactly the right thing.

“It’s perfect. I’m ready, then.”

“After you.” Julian smiles at me a little hesitantly, but walks toward the door so we can leave. My eyes quickly run down the length of his body, and I’m amazed such a handsome, young man wants to go out with me. I know I’m not old or anything, but he’s young and must be able to find young, fun guys to date instead of a set in his ways kind of guy like me.

By the time I’ve shaken off my depressing train of thought, Julian’s locked up his place and we’re almost to the car. I dash ahead of him a few steps so I can open the passenger side door of the truck for him. He’s almost as tall as me, and at least six foot, so I know he doesn’t need a hand, but I offer him one anyway as he climbs up into his seat. I’m not sure if it’s dumb or not, but I know Bailey loved when I did little things for him, of course, he was a tiny guy so maybe—the radiant smile Julian gives me as I shut his door reassures me. We’re both exactly where we want to be, and my natural inclinations to treat him with kindness and respect are spot on. Feeling more confident about myself, and our date in general, I round the truck with higher expectations than I’ve felt all day.

Once we’ve walked in and are seated at a table in the restaurant and the server’s taken our drink order for water for both of us, I lean back in my chair. “I probably should’ve told you already, but you look really nice tonight.”

Julian reminds me of his best friend when he giggles. “Did you notice we’re dressed almost identical?”

Since I did notice that we’re both wearing stonewash straight leg jeans, loafers, and short-sleeve button-up shirts, except his is green bringing out the amazing color of his eyes, and I went with a blue and red checkered, I chuckle along with him. “I did notice that, actually.”

“Great minds, right?” His eyes crinkle at the corners when he giggles again.

“Tell me about Julian.”

The smile fades from his face, and his eyes cloud over. “I’m not sure what to say. I feel like I kinda lost myself there for a while, and I’m trying to find myself again.”

Nodding at him encouragingly, I say, “That’ll happen a million different times in your life. Don’t think that living hard for a year is why you feel that way. Believe me, I feel like I’m continuously starting a new chapter in my life.”

“Really?” He narrows his eyes skeptically, but in their depths, I see the clouds part just a bit as he waits for my answer.

“Of course. Think about it, what did you want to be when you grew up when you were five?”

“A dog,” he says without hesitation.

“A dog?”

“Yeah, I had two older sisters who made sure I followed all of my mom’s rules. Especially the no snacking between meals unless Mom gave it to me. But we had a dog, and my sisters slipped him treats all the time, and he never had to pick up after himself. It seemed like the perfect life to me.”

“Huh, that sounds logical.” Julian nods at me triumphantly. Shaking my head a tad, I feel my heart beginning the descent from charmed down the slippery slope to infatuated. “Okay, what did you want to be when you were ten?”

“A superhero, of course.” He grins mischievously. “You want to know why?”

“I don’t know. Do I? Is this where we find out we don’t agree whether it’s Marvel or DC that’s the best?”

“Nope. I have no preference. A superhero’s a superhero to me.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. Why did you want to be a superhero?”

“That’s the year Sky High came out, and I loved the idea that teenagers were coming into their powers to do awesome things. I used to lay in bed at night and wonder what power I’d want if it was real.”

“What did you decide?” I ask.

“Do you actually know what Sky High is?”

“Yes, I do. I know I’m older than you,” I wrinkle my nose as he shrugs and giggles, “but I have younger cousins and that was a favorite for them. In fact, one of my little cousins used to watch that movie over and over.”

By the face Julian makes, I can tell he’s being transported back to a happy time in his life. It’s amazing how expressive he is when he lets his guard down a bit. Before we continue, we both order our food. The minute the waiter steps away from our table, I ask, “And what did you want to be at fifteen?”

“Out of high school.” He nods emphatically when I arch an eyebrow at him. “I wasn’t a fan of school at all; I couldn’t wait to get out.”

“But you went on to college anyway?”

“Well, of course. By eighteen I was a fan of money.” We share a laugh.

“And what did you want to be when you grew up at twenty-two?”

Julian sobers, takes a sip of his water, and he straightens his spine in the way I’ve noticed he does when he’s going to say something that embarrasses him. “On graduation day, I wanted to go into a company and work in the accounting department. Six months after that, I just wanted to not be a druggy. I was praying I’d even have the chance to keep growing up.”

“And now?” I ask softly. “Why did you decide you want to be a CPA if that wasn’t something you’d planned before?”

“Huh. You know no one has actually asked me that, yet.” He grins, but there’s a flash of reluctance before he answers me. “Believe it or not, there’s two people who influenced that decision. When I was in rehab we spent a lot of time examining our actions and really focusing on the types of personalities we were drawn to before our drug use started. Do you really want to hear this?”

Reaching across the table, I lay my hand over his where he’s twisting them together on the table. “Very much.”

Julian looks down at my hand for a minute, peeking up at me with a grateful smile. “Okay, well, I realized one of the reasons I wanted to work for your brother Jack was because I really respected him, you know? I knew he was working for your dad at the time, but I also knew he was in training to take over the company. I admired his focus and drive.” I nod at him to continue when he pauses, and his eyes drop before he tells me more. “The other thing I realized is one of the reasons I was so drawn to Phillip, my ex, the dealer, was because he was in charge of his own thing, too. Maybe not a great business to run, obviously.” He looks up and rolls his eyes, probably at himself. “But I liked how he kept his own schedule and could adjust it around his family time. I don’t know. Maybe I’m being dumb.”

Squeezing his hand, I say, “That doesn’t sound dumb. So you want to become a CPA and go in business for yourself?”

“I’m not sure if I really want to be a CPA, honestly. But I did get my bachelor’s in accounting, and I know I don’t want to go back to school. Studying for my CPA just seemed like the best route to go to be qualified to eventually be able to work for myself and set my own hours. I’m not even sure I really like numbers all that much, but I’m good with them, so...”

“Tell me what else you found out about yourself while you were in rehab.”

“I love to work with my hands and be outside. There’s nothing like the satisfaction of a job well done when your body’s exhausted, but you can see with your own two eyes what you’ve accomplished. You know?”

“Yeah, yeah. As a matter of fact I do.” We share a knowing smile as the waiter arrives with our food. The rest of the night we move onto lighter topics, like the sizes of our families and things our parents did to drive us crazy while we were growing up.

I’m sad our night’s over when I walk Julian to the door, but it’s the best first date I’ve ever had. “Do you want to come in?” Julian asks.

“Not tonight, maybe next time.”

“Next time?” That small smile I’m coming to adore hovers on his lips.

“If you’re willing to go out with me again?”

“I’d love to.”

“Good.” As he turns to unlock his door, I say, “Hey, Julian. Remember when I was asking you at dinner all the different things you wanted to be as you grew up?”

“Yeah?” He tilts his head, blinking up at me so cute that I almost forget the point I wanted to make.

“All of those times are having to find ourselves again. Each time we discover something new that causes us to change direction, we’re on a new path and it’s like starting over. When we’re young, everyone tells us we’re going to change our mind a million times, so we don’t think anything of it. But as we get older, we lock ourselves in. For some reason, we think we’re being childish when we want to wipe our slate clean and try something new. In your case, the drug abuse is making you feel like a failure who has to start over. But you could have just as easily gotten a corporate job and discovered you hated wearing a monkey suit all day and wanted a fresh start doing something else. Maybe don’t be so hard on yourself, okay?”

Taking a step closer, Julian reaches up and plants a light kiss on my cheek. It’s a barely there press of his lips, but I feel his touch coursing through my whole body like a slow burn. “Thank you, Vaughn. This has been the best date I’ve had in a long, long time. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says softly. He slips through his front door, but not before I catch the glimmer of tears in his eyes and the slight tip to his lips. Humming softly to myself, I retreat to my truck knowing no matter what I’m going to pursue this thing with Julian because he is indeed special.