“I’m telling you, Chuck. It was the best date of my life.”

“I hate to tell you this, but technically, I think it was the only real date you’ve ever been on. I don’t think starting to hang out with guys you slept with first counts as a date.” Chuck snickers.

“Haha, funny guy. At least I get out there. You wallow in a crush on a guy you have no intention of telling you like him.” I level a hard stare in his direction as we eat our lunch at the picnic table that’s been set up on the construction site.

“Leave it alone, Julian. There’s no way he’d ever be interested in a guy like me.”

Hearing the sadness in his voice, I set my sandwich down. “Explain,” I demand.

Chuck’s eyes widen in shock at my tone. “Explain what?”

“Why you don’t think he’d be interested in a guy like you. What’s wrong with you? I happen to think you’re a fantastic guy.”

“You mean fabulous.” At the quirk of my brow, Chuck sets his sandwich down, too, and guzzles some of his sports drink. I know he’s stalling, but I wait patiently. “Nathaniel’s like a man’s man.”

“Chuck, all three of us are gay. I’m pretty sure we’re all into men.”

Fluttering his hands up in between us, he says, “No, you know what I mean. I’ve only ever seen Nathaniel hang out with bigger guys like him. You know, like you. Solid. Muscular. Taller. I’m not like that. If it wasn’t for you and Jack hiring us when we were kids, no one would accuse me of being a man’s man.”

“Again, you’re a man. I’ve never seen Nathaniel even hang out with anyone, so I’m not sure where you’re getting that information. And dude, you may not be the biggest guy in the world, but you’re out here busting your ass everyday just like the rest of us. If anything, I’d think Nathaniel would be impressed that a lean pipsqueak like you can you can yield a sledgehammer with such skill and precision.”

He chuckles good naturedly at my description, but before we can continue, I hear a voice I hoped to never hear again. “If you’re home from rehab, why the hell haven’t I heard from you?” Before I can even process what’s going on, Phillip is by my side yanking me up from the bench. His face is contorted in rage with the vein throbbing in his temple, and his iron grip on my bicep is already cutting the circulation off in my arm.

Frantically turning my head to see if any of the other guys are around to help me, I see Chuck retreating toward the trailer at a dead run before I notice that a furious Bernie is standing slightly behind Phillip. “Yeah, Julian. Phillip paid for your lawyer and the minute you’re done with court you disappear without so much as a thank you. If we hadn’t been driving by and spotted you on this bench, he wouldn’t even know you were home. What the hell is that?”

“Really, Bernie?” I stammer. “Where were you when we got arrested that night? Why weren’t you there, too? Where did you go?”

“I told you when you got home from jail that wasn’t any of your business. Leave it alone.” Phillip shakes me and starts to pull me toward him. “Come on. You don’t need to work. I’ll take care of you like I always have, after we deal with your disappearing act.”

Planting my feet, I rip my arm away from his grasp. Phillip’s used to people doing what he says the minute he says it, so my arm slips free from his grip with little exertion. The shock on his face would be comical if not for the fear pumping through me, making me feel like I just ran a marathon in a minute. Not willing to bend for even a second, I grumble, “Oh, are you going to take care of me like you did when you got me out of jail?”

“I told you I was coming to get you. I had to check on Bernie and make sure he was okay first.”

“You just left me in there after saying you were coming right back for me!” I yell.

“Listen you little shit—”

“No, you listen,” Vaughn growls as he comes running up with half the guys from our crew right behind him. “Julian’s working and you have no business here. Get the hell off this property or I’m calling the police.”

Phillip’s face morphs into an easy smile (which is creepy) although his eyes are thunderous. “No problem.” He raises his hands and backs away. “I’ll see you later, Julian.” He points at me.

Stepping in front of me, Vaughn says, “No you won’t.”

Not caring about the other guys being present, I rest my head against Vaughn’s back while I get my breathing under control. Before I can melt down into a full panic attack, he’s spinning around and embracing me. “He’s gone.”

As I feel his hands rubbing my back, I feel another hand wrap around my elbow and open my eyes to see Chuck’s concerned face peering at me. “I’m okay, Chuck.”

“I’m sorry I ran, but I wanted to get Vaughn.”

Before I can reassure him, Vaughn says, “No. You did the right thing. Those guys are bad news, and it’s better to have had me deal with them.”

Chuck asks, “Should it make us nervous that he went so easily?”

Vaughn’s hands still on my back for a second, and then he’s rubbing soothing circles on my back again.

“Hey, boss,” one of the guys says. “Why don’t you take Julian home? We can finish up today. I’ll call Jack, too, and let him know what happened, so he can come by if he wants.”

Either suffering from shock or some form of post-traumatic stress from Phillip appearing out of the blue like that, I allow myself to be placed into Vaughn’s truck. Dimly, I’m aware of how gently Vaughn gets me in his truck and belts me in. Just the vague thought causes memories of being shoved into the car by Phillip to surface, and I squeeze my eyes closed tightly in attempt to escape the memories. The next thing I’m conscious of is being unbuckled and lifted just as gently out of the truck. I hear Vaughn and Chuck’s voices, but I’m not following the conversation at all. When Chuck says, “Come on, Jules. Take a little drink for me.” I obediently open my mouth and swallow some water. For some reason, the use of my childhood nickname reactivates my brain and pulls me out of my fog.

Blinking, I focus in on the pained expression on Vaughn’s face before turning to see the concern permeating Chuck’s. “I—” I clear my throat. “I’m okay. I don’t know what happened.”

“I think you went into shock,” Vaughn says gently.

Nodding my head, I glance around the unfamiliar living room. “Where are we?”

“I brought you to my house for tonight, just until we can figure out what Phillip’s up to. Chuck is right; he left way too easily.”

Leaning my head against the back of the couch, I can’t even argue with that. “I don’t want to put you out,” I mumble.

“You’re not putting anyone out. Chuck is going to queue up your favorite movies on Netflix, I’ll order some pizzas, and we’ll all hang. Does that sound okay?”

“And I called your parents. I just told them you were sleeping over with me. I didn’t tell them where though.” I hear Chuck giggle.

“Thanks. Both of you. I’m sorry to be such a pain.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Vaughn stands up and leans down to kiss me on the forehead. “Get some rest, we’ll wake you when the pizza gets here.”

“Okay.” Closing my eyes, I let sleep take me, giving me a reprieve for a while from the reappearance of my worst nightmare.

The rest of the night is like a fog. I remember taking a shower, pulling on a pair of Vaughn’s sleep pants and eating and cuddling up between Chuck and Vaughn while they watched TV. Then Chuck was arguing with Vaughn when he insisted that we share his bed, and he’d sleep in his spare bedroom because he didn’t want us to be squished. I wake up at my normal time, only seconds before the alarm on Chuck’s phone goes off. Surprisingly I woke up knowing exactly where I am, and not at all disorientated even though I’d never been to Vaughn’s before. “How are you this morning?” Chuck asks.

“Good. A little scared now that I know Phillip knows I’m back.”

“Hey.” Vaughn’s voice sounds from the doorway, startling us. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you guys. Maybe we should take the day off today, Julian. Make a plan and get situated with this whole Phillip situation.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea. I love that idea,” says Chuck.

“No, I think I’m good to work.”

“Julian, it’s probably safer for the other guys in the crew if you don’t go in until we decide how to handle this, too,” Vaughn says.

“I agree, but I can work to pick up the slack so let me get out of here and drive home. You’ve got him, right, Vaughn?”

“I’m not leaving his side.” I look up into the doorway and am hit with the tenderness in his eyes. I don’t remember ever dating a man who looked at me like that before.

“I’m just going to walk Chuck out.” I scurry pass Vaughn to where Chuck is waiting out in the hall.

“You didn’t even see his house yet,” Chuck says as we walk down the hall toward the front door. He’s right, but I had seen the main room in the house that I was interested in since I woke up in there. He had a nice big bed with a gray sheet set and a gray comforter with blue squares. The bed was extremely comfortable; I definitely wouldn’t mind spending more time in there, well, not with Chuck, though.

As we pass the hallway bathroom, I glimpse variations of the color blue, and in his living room, there is large, solid gray furniture with various shades of blue throw pillows. Everything I can see is neat which I assume is the norm since it wasn’t like we anticipated having to end up here yesterday. Once we reach the door, Chuck turns to me. “If you leave here today, please stay with Vaughn.”

“I will. I promise. I have no desire to end up dealing with Phillip by myself.”

“Okay, good.” Chuck gives me a quick hug before unlocking the door and walking out to his car in the driveway. I didn’t even realize he drove separate from us yesterday.

When I shut the door and go back in, Vaughn still hasn’t appeared so I walk back to his room where he’s leaning against his dresser. “How do ya feel today?”

“Scared. Annoyed. Pissed off. Take your pick.” I shrug as I walk over to perch on the side of his bed.

“You know Jack and I will help you, right? You’re not in this alone.” Searching his face, I see the sincerity.

“I feel bad getting you mixed up in this, though. It’s not your problem.”

“Julian, I’m already so mixed up in you there’s no chance I’d walk away now.” Tears spring to my eyes, so I blink trying to hold them back.

“Hey, what’s that about?” he asks as he walks over and squats right in front of me, leaning his elbows on my legs.

“You’re so kind to me. It’s just, you know one of my sisters won’t even go to my parents’ house now if I’m home?”

Vaughn frowns. “Are you kidding me?”

“No.” I shake my head. “She was so mad at what I put Mom and Dad through. And then I guess one of my nieces had something for gymnastics the same day as my first NA meeting after I moved back home, and they wanted to go with me. My sister was furious that they’d miss something for their grandchild when she’d invited them. I told my parents to go ahead and go, but my mom assured me that my sister was only trying to cause problems. My sister and I never got along the best so I don’t care about her so much, but I miss her kids.”

“What about your other sister?”

I can’t resist touching his beard anymore, so as I answer him, I run my fingers through the neatly trimmed hair. “She’s awesome. She’s actually the one who recommended my NA sponsor. They’ve been close friends since college, and she thought we’d hit it off.”

I notice he’s leaning into my touch when he asks, “Do you?”

“Yep. She’s super cool. I actually think that’s why my oldest sister jumped on wanting to cast me out of the family. She’s always been super jealous of my and my other sister’s relationship. I told you she’s bi, right?” Vaughn’s eyes have closed, but he nods into where my hands are now cupping his face. “I think she felt left out after I came out because it was my other sister I went to about things. As the oldest, I think she felt like I excluded her somehow.”

“That doesn’t give her the right to be mean to you or make your parents feel bad for wanting to support their son.”

“I know. I screwed up the dynamics in my family, and now I’m messing with your schedule. You’re home when you should be at work and—”

Vaughn cuts me off by raising up just enough to press his lips to mine. It takes me by surprise, but my lips quickly conform to his, and I don’t hesitate to open for him when he slides his tongue across the seam of my lips. Sliding my hands around to cup the back of his neck, he scoots in closer, kissing me until we have to break for air. Leaning back to smile at me, Vaughn asks quietly, “Is this okay?” When I nod, he comes back in for a more passionate kiss before nibbling over to my ear. “Lay back,” he whispers, so I do. I’d slept without a shirt, and Vaughn immediately moves to the tattoo on the right side of my chest, tracing it gently with his tongue, and then working his way down to my nipple.

I’d known men who said they didn’t get a lot of out having their nipples sucked and pinched, but I wasn’t one of them, and it was one of the things I’d missed while dating Phillip. He’d never been into any kind of foreplay. Hell, the first time I’d given him a blowjob in the bar he’d never even kissed me, yet. But all thoughts of Phillip and other men are obliterated from my mind as Vaughn moves over to suck my other nipple and lifts his hand to pinch the one he just left. His torso is pushed into my cock, and I can’t control the movement of my hips. I need friction. I need Vaughn. He keeps his kisses light as he continues to move down, lifting his eyes to mine when I groan as he moves his body off of mine except for the barely-there press of his lips and strokes of his tongue as he moves down around my belly button, down my treasure trail, and begins to nudge at the waistline of my borrowed sleep pants with his chin.

“Are you trying to drive me crazy?” I ask.

“Is it working?” He chuckles, but does pull the pants and my boxers down off of my hips and drops them at my feet on the floor.

“Why don’t we move up so I can touch you, too?”

“Because right now isn’t about me, this is for you.” Tears form in the corner of my eyes again, but are quickly forgotten when he lifts my dick and rubs it along his soft beard. There’s something so sexy about seeing him rub my length against the very hair I was just stroking while watching him relax into it. “You like that, don’t you?” Before I can answer that it’s like he can read my mind, he turns his head and begins to tease the tip with those same gentle swipes of his tongue.

“I would never have thought such light touches could be such a turn on,” I pant, watching him lightly skim his tongue up and down my length.

“It’s because this is what you need. You need a little gentle, a little soft,” he whispers right against the side where I can feel his breath tickling me. “Until you don’t.” Then he swallows my length right down the back of his throat and the suction of his cheeks has me bowing my back and crying out. His large, strong hand gently cups my balls, massaging them, as he bobs up and down my cock like he’s trying to suck the life out of me. At this rate, he just might. My hands grip the sides of the comforter next to me as I fight not to come too fast, it’s been too long since a man has touched me, and even longer since someone has taken care of me like this, but when he increases the pressure of his hand on my balls and comes up for a quick swipe of his tongue across my tip, I know I won’t be able to fight it any longer.

“I’m…” I look down frantically to warn him, but his eyes are on me, and that’s when I notice the movement of his other hand, and I’m lost. I come down his throat, gasping for air. My world, which felt like it was crumbling a mere twelve hours ago, is completely rocked in the best possible way now. Finally catching my breath, I look down at where his chin is propped on my belly as he smiles at me and ask, “Did you?”

“Mhmm… how could I not? Watching you fall apart is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. And as much as I want to do that again, really really soon by the way, we better get cleaned up so that you can call your parents, and I can call into work.”

“Okay. Let me just lay here for a minute.”

Vaughn stands up, winking at me as he rises, and I see the mess on his hand down the sleep pants. “Take your time. Today is all about you.” Then he turns to head into the bathroom in his room. And I do, I do lay there and take my time because for once I’m with someone who’s putting me first, and I really do feel like it’s all about me.