When I’m in the ring nothing else matters. My anger and frustration fuel me, pushing me harder, faster. Unleashing the beast inside feels incredible, and I become unstoppable.
Normally we don’t hit it this hard, but seeing as it’s a Friday night and I have a match coming up right after graduation, Trick decided we needed to take it up a notch. I have the weekend to recover from any busted lips or split brows.
“Alright, I’m calling it a night,” Trick calls from his place ringside.
I nod, tap gloves with my sparring partner, then turn my attention to searching out my girl. But I can’t see her, anywhere. I spit out my mouth guard while Trick undoes my gloves, “Where’d Chance and Mase go?” I ask him.
Trick frowns, “You set on that girl?” he asks.
I eye him, he doesn’t normally get personal, “Yeah, why?”
He shakes his head, “You’re going to have to cut her loose, Carter. This life isn’t for her.”
Fury fills my veins, “What the fuck are you talking about? You don’t even know her.”
Trick shrugs, “I know her type.”
I can’t contain the rage leeching into every part of my system, “Fuck you,” I spit, “You don’t know shit, Trick.” My fists clench so hard, my knuckles turn white, and my pulse races in my head, thumping loudly between my temples.
“She ran out of here looking like she was about to throw her guts up. Mase went after her,” Trick says calmly, but then he steps up into my personal space, “And you better remember who the fuck you’re talking to, Carter. You might like that girl, but she is not your future. This is. Get your head on straight or I’m pulling you from this fight.”
I don’t hear much after he says she ran out. Fuck. FUCK! I turn away from Trick and slam my fist into the brick wall, “Motherfucker!” I roar, as I embrace the pain spreading through my knuckles, splintering up my arm.
“You fucking idiot!” Trick yells, yanking my hand to him so he can examine it, “You’re lucky you didn’t just break it, you moron. Get out of here, Carter. Shower and go home. Get your shit together, I don’t want to see you until you do.” Then Trick storms away from me.
All I want to do is go after her. But Trick is right about one thing, I need to shower.
I wash myself in record time. Tugging on a set of clean clothes, I stuff my sweaty ones in my duffle and run out to my car, noticing that Mase’s car is already gone. My fist clenches again, needing to hit something, but it’s still tender from the wall, so I squeeze my eyes shut and count back from ten.
It calms me some, enough to get in my car and drive to Chance’s place.
When I arrive, the house is dark. I knock on the door, but am met with silence. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I call Chance, and it goes straight to her voicemail. I hit Mase’s name, relief filling me when I hear his voice, “Where is she?” I demand.
“The hospital,” Mase says, and everything goes eerily still.
“What? Why?” Silence, “MASE! Why the fuck is she at the hospital?” I yell into my phone, my free hand squeezing the back of my tense neck.
I hear him clear his throat, “Her dad, he had a heart attack. He, he didn’t make it Carter, he’s dead.”
Oh fuck, no. “No, no, no,” I chant, “Fuck, I’m coming,” I tell him.
“I’ll wait with her,” Mase says, then the call ends and I’m already sliding in behind the wheel of my car, speeding to the local hospital.
I take the first parking spot I see, jump out of my car and run inside. I scan the seating area in the emergency section but don’t see them. The nurse at the desk calls out to me, “Are you okay?”
Shaking my head, I answer her, “No, my girlfriend’s father, he had a heart attack.”
Her expression saddens instantly, “I’m sorry, but as you’re not immediate family, I can’t let you through.”
Is she fucking serious right now? I glare at her, “Excuse me?”
She licks her lips and glances around nervously, “I’m sorry, it’s hospital policy.”
I blink slowly, trying to clear the red haze beginning to cloud my vision, “My girlfriend is back there, she needs me!” I yell at the nurse, then start for the double swinging doors that lead to the patient area.
She rushes after me, “Sir, you can’t go back there!” she calls.
My fists clench when I push on the doors but they don’t budge, my knuckles are white and I turn my furious eyes on the nurse again, “Open the goddamn doors!” I boom.
“Please calm down,” she says as she backs away from me.
My pulse is thrumming in my ears, I need to find Chance. I look around the room, searching for another entry point, panic filling my veins the longer it takes for me to reach her. She ran out on me tonight, and now she needs me.
I grit my teeth and lock my jaw, trying as best I can to control my temper. Normally, the only time I let it loose is in the ring, but I’m struggling right now.
The doors swing open at my back and big arms engulf me from behind, “Dude, calm the fuck down,” Mase hisses in my ear, “I could hear you from the other side of those doors.”
A small amount of relief washes over me, but not enough for me to relax. The nurse is back behind the desk now, a phone to her ear and her eyes fixed on my every move. I swallow hard, then close my eyes, counting back from ten inside my head.
When I open my eyes again she’s no longer on the phone, but a burly guy stands beside her now, watching me as closely as she was moments ago. I shake Mase off me and turn to face him, “Where is she? Is she okay?”
He’s pale, and the generally jovial aurora that surrounds him has vanished, “She’s with her family, and she’s pretty messed up man.”
I nod, she was close to her dad, I can’t imagine I’d be too devastated if anything happened to my father, but Chance loved hers. Knowing that she’s hurting and that I’m not there holding her right now is killing me.
My fingers knot in my hair, “I need to see her,” I tell Mase.
He nods in response, “Let me talk to the nurse,” he says, then he’s striding over to the reception counter leaning down and chatting to the nurse. It looks like they’re discussing the weather but the flirtatious grin he’s throwing her tells me he’s working his magic on her, and I don’t really care what he does as long as it gets me back there.
The nurse reaches over and presses a button, causing a loud buzzing, followed by a click to come from the double doors. Mase returns to my side, then pushes the door open and leads me through.
I follow him silently as he walks down the corridor toward a waiting room, my feet feel like concrete blocks as I make my way to her. Crouching down in front of her, I touch her cold arm, “Baby,” I whisper, “I’m so sorry.”
Her chest heaves with sobs, her eyes are swollen slits when she turns to me. I hold my arms out for her and she launches into them, knocking me back so my arse hits the ground. But I don’t let her go. I shuffle back against the wall, leaning on it, holding her tightly as she struggles to breathe. “Shhh,” I coo, stroking her back gently, trying to soothe her the only way I think of.
“H-how can he b-be g-g-gone?” Chance stutters against my tear soaked neck, “It’s n-not fair. I, I didn’t g-get to s-ay goo-goodbye,” she hiccups.
My throat is too thick to form words, not that I would know what to say. I’ve never been in this situation before and have no goddamn idea how to comfort her. So, I remain silent, but present, stroking her hair away from her tear stained cheeks and pressing kisses to her temple.
I feel Mase approach then he slides down the wall to sit by my side. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to. I’ll be forever grateful that he was there for her when I wasn’t. I want to ask him what happened, but now is not the time. Chance is a quivering mess in my arms and as I look around the room, I finally notice her mother, Vivian. She must be in shock, because she’s just staring at the wall with absolutely no expression at all.
Then there’s Kassidy, Chance’s nephew. And I assume the other couple are her brother Hux and his wife, Eliza. They look sad, but not destroyed like Chance. Which makes me think back to Chance telling me that her father and brother had a strained relationship.
I examine her brother closer, his eyes shine with emotion, but I can’t put my finger on what it is exactly. He seems remote, distant even, like he’s lost in his mind. The only thing connecting him to this moment is his hand, tightly gripping Vivian’s. Then, right before my eyes, a single tear slides down his cheek making me feel like an intruder on his private moment and I have to look away.
Emotion fills every inch of the space surrounding us, the room is full of pain, grief, sadness, remorse, and so many other emotions I can’t name. Their effect is cloying, suffocating almost, and I find myself fighting to keep my own feelings locked down.