HARRIET RODE THE SUBWAY, and then walked the rest of the way to her apartment. She was desperate to whip out her phone and search for “recurrence of stammering,” but it was freezing cold and she told herself that impatience wasn’t a decent trade-off for possible frostbite.
Anxious to do some research, her heart sank when she arrived home to find Daniel waiting outside her apartment.
Normally she would have been pleased to see her brother, but he was one of the few people who was likely to be able to see beneath the fake smile and want to know what had happened.
And she didn’t want to talk about it.
She wanted to deal with this herself, preferably by opening her laptop and doing research. She needed answers.
Why had it come back? Did the fact that it had come back briefly mean that it might come back again?
When? Under what circumstances?
Maybe the evening had ended well enough but still it felt like a huge setback.
If she’d stammered tonight, then she could stammer again.
It was something she hadn’t had to think about in a long while.
Should she contact a speech therapist? Ethan didn’t seem to think she should, but she wasn’t convinced.
She had a thousand questions churning inside her but she knew if she voiced any of this aloud to Daniel he’d go into overprotective mode, so she filed away her questions even though it almost killed her to do it.
“Isn’t this a bit late for you to visit? Normally you drop round when you’re hungry.” And her brother had done that less and less since he’d fallen in love with Molly. Given that the only thing she’d thought her brother was ever going to be wedded to was his single status, she found it encouraging that he was now crazily in love.
If he could find someone in the crazy tapestry of humans that populated Manhattan then surely there was hope for her too?
“Molly and I were taking the dogs for a walk and we thought we’d drop by and see how you’re doing. Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
Because she’d been trying to be more independent.
“I’m good. Busy.” She opened the door to her apartment. “Where is Molly? And where are the dogs?”
“She stepped outside to take a call and took the dogs with her. What are you doing walking round Manhattan this late?”
“It’s not late, Dan.” She hung up her coat. “It’s only nine o’clock.”
“You’ve been on another date?”
Molly thought about the evening she’d had. “Not exactly.”
“Fliss told me your last date didn’t go so well. I don’t like the idea of you meeting strangers. Why didn’t you call me?” He scowled at her. “I would have come to your rescue.”
Which was why she hadn’t called. She’d wanted to rescue herself.
Whatever trouble she found herself in, she wanted to be the one to find the way out.
“I handled it.”
“Since when did you walk dogs this late?”
She might not have a father who cared about her, but her brother more than made up for that lack of parental concern.
“Since my client went away and left a dog who is finding it hard to settle in her temporary home.”
Daniel strolled through to her kitchen and opened the fridge, totally at home in her apartment. “I’m surprised you didn’t just bring it back here. You used to do that when we were kids. I hid that kitten under my bed for a week, remember?”
“I remember.” She’d found it in one of the backstreets, injured and abandoned by its mother. She’d guessed it was no more than a few weeks old and she’d smuggled it home under her sweater and hid it in a box under the bed, where she’d cared for it until it was stronger. She intended to keep it, and hoped her brother would find a way to help her figure that out. Daniel always found a way to work with the circumstances. It was the reason he was such a great lawyer.
“You made me walk with you to the vet’s so that you could ask for advice. That was when I realized you would do just about anything for an animal, even if it meant making Dad crazy.” He pulled out a beer. “This has my name on it.”
Harriet rolled her eyes, put her bag down and closed the shutters.
He was right, of course. If her father had known, he would have killed her.
And she’d cared about that, but not as much as she’d cared about that kitten. She knew how it felt to be vulnerable, and she was determined to be the protector as often as she was the protected.
She heard the thunder of paws, a bark, and then Molly burst through the door with two large dogs.
“I’m going to buy a sled—” she panted, hauling on their leads “—and these two can pull it. Work off some of that excess energy. It could be a whole new way of commuting in the snow.”
Daniel snapped the top off the beer and pulled a second one from the fridge. “It’s not a new way if you live in Greenland. It’s a way of life.”
“Do you ever stop being a lawyer?”
Daniel handed her a beer and took a mouthful of his own. “That’s not being a lawyer. That’s general knowledge.”
“You always have to lay out the facts!”
“Ah, in that case I definitely wasn’t being a lawyer. At best we lawyers are selective with our facts.” Ignoring the dogs, he tugged Molly against him and kissed her long and hard. She sank against him and for a moment they blended, a perfect unit.
Watching them, Harriet felt an ache behind her ribs.
Great.
Love was all around her. Or that was how it seemed.
She wasn’t going to be envious. She loved Daniel. She loved Molly. She was genuinely happy for them.
And jealous.
She was jealous. Jealous of her brother and jealous of her twin.
What did that say about her?
Annoyed with herself for not being the person she wanted to be, she dropped to her knees and hugged Valentine, Molly’s Dalmatian. “Who’s a gorgeous boy?” Valentine answered that with an enthusiastic wag of his tail and Brutus, Daniel’s German shepherd, head-butted Harriet, vying for her attention. Harriet lost her balance and thumped down on the floor. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who had a jealous streak. “You’re gorgeous too. Even when you knock me on my butt.”
Molly eased away from Daniel. “He’s not that gorgeous.” She dropped the backpack she was carrying and pulled off her coat, still balancing the beer in her hand. “He rolled in snow and he’s soaked. Sit, Brutus. So tell me what happened with that last guy you dated, Harriet. He sounded great. Are you seeing him again? How did the date end?”
With her climbing out of the window and spraining her ankle.
Harriet decided not to tell them that. Some things were best left unsaid. Molly was a psychologist and she had a tendency to try and analyze everything. Harriet didn’t want her analyzing this. “It didn’t pan out.”
“No? Shame. I had high hopes.” Molly dragged a towel out of her bag and rubbed Brutus’s fur. “So who is next? What’s new?”
What’s new was that she’d stammered. After years of not stammering, she’d stammered.
The feelings churned inside her, a toxic mix of panic and disappointment.
Dating had always been a challenge for her, but now it seemed as if she’d slipped back to the bottom of a mountain she’d been climbing. It felt huge, but so far she hadn’t had time to absorb it properly. How was she ever going to get to know someone if she couldn’t get past that first awkward meeting?
She could have talked to Molly, and Molly would have known exactly the right thing to say. But she wasn’t ready to talk about that with anyone yet.
“I’m taking a break from dating.” To change the subject, she looked at her brother’s suit. “You’ve been in court?”
“I have. Custody hearing.”
“I hate that you’re so busy.”
Daniel raised his eyebrows. “This is my livelihood.”
“I know, but whenever I talk to you I get the feeling everyone is in a miserable relationship.”
“Don’t listen to him.” Molly rubbed Valentine’s paws with a towel. “Talking to Daniel is like watching the news. You come away thinking the world is ending. It distorts your view of reality, which is that every day, all over the world, people are doing good things for other people and those things are never made public.”
Daniel finished his beer. “You have an almost ridiculous faith in human nature. How are we even together?”
“Because you can’t care for your dog without my help.”
Harriet bent to stroke Brutus, who she’d fostered for a short while until Daniel had given him a home. “Don’t start or I’ll worry about you both.”
“You don’t need to worry about us.” Molly stood up and kissed Daniel. “Are you going to tell her our news or shall I?”
“Tell her what?”
Molly scowled and Valentine was on his feet in an instant. “See? My dog senses when you make me unhappy. Better watch it, Mr. Heartbreaker, or you will be covered in teeth marks.”
“Promises, promises.”
Knowing that the banter could have gone on forever, Harriet interrupted. “What’s your news?”
“We’ve fixed a date.” Molly looked pleased with herself. “For our wedding. We’re getting married in May, and we’re having the wedding in Central Park because that’s where we met. Cherry blossom. Blue skies—”
“—you in your running shoes with your hair pulled back in a tail.” Daniel grinned at her. “I like it that way. It’s sexy.”
“I’m wearing a long white dress.”
“In the park?” Daniel winced. “Are we leaving the dogs at home?”
“No!”
“Then I don’t recommend a long white dress.”
Harriet interrupted again. “Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.” And she was, she really was. They were perfect together, just as Fliss and Seth were perfect together. Two by two. Everyone was in pairs.
Except for her.
She was one.
Alone.
Molly hugged her. “Will you be my bridesmaid? You and Fliss?”
“Of course. Thank you.”
Daniel sprawled on her sofa, watching her closely. “This place is quiet without Fliss.”
It was horribly quiet.
“I’ve been too busy with work to notice. And fostering animals keeps the place pretty noisy.”
Daniel glanced around. “I don’t see animals.”
Her brother didn’t miss a thing. “I had Teddy until recently. He went to his forever home.” She watched as Valentine lay down on the floor. Brutus joined him. Molly and Daniel had met while walking the dogs and now the two dogs were inseparable. “So are you working on anything exciting right now?”
“The usual. Handling people’s toxic marriages. Why anyone bothers I have no idea, but I guess people’s optimism and fairy-tale belief in the power of Happy Ever After keeps me in business, so who am I to question it?”
Molly gave him a look. “You’re marrying me. You shouldn’t question it.”
“You are my Snow White.”
“I hate apples.”
“My Cinderella?”
“She was great at cleaning, and I’m crap.”
“Rapunzel? No, your hair is the wrong color and too short. Beauty? No, because that would make me the beast.”
“Which is how you’re known in impolite circles.”
Daniel glanced at his watch. “I’m hungry. We thought we could order pizza. Molly?”
Pizza?
She thought of the small mountain of Thai food she’d consumed with Ethan.
And all the questions stacked up in her head, waiting to be answered.
“I’ve eaten, but you go ahead.” In truth it was nice to see her brother, and it felt good to have the apartment filled with noise, laughter and dogs.
Maybe she needed to get a dog of her own.
It was something she’d considered a few times and rejected because she wanted to keep herself free to foster animals from the shelter when necessary. But now she was starting to rethink that plan.
“What did you cook? Any leftovers in the fridge? You’re the best cook on the planet.”
Harriet paused. “I didn’t say I cooked. I said I ate.”
“So you did go on a date?” Molly looked interested.
“It wasn’t a date. I was dealing with some issues settling a dog, it got late, so he offered me something to eat. He’d worked a long day and he was tired. It was no big deal.”
“He? And is ‘he’ a lawyer?”
“He’s a doctor.”
Molly slapped her hand on the arm of the sofa, making the dogs jump. “Perfect! I’ve always said that someone in the medical profession would suit you well. Smart, caring—”
“This is not a personal relationship, it’s a professional one.”
“Yeah? But apart from right at the beginning, you don’t often see your clients, do you?”
“That’s true, but this is different. He is struggling with the dog.”
“And you’re helping him.” Molly smiled. “That’s good.”
“Molly—”
“Don’t fight her,” Daniel advised. “She will make a relationship out of a box of tissues and a candle if those are the only items in the room. She can’t help herself. This is a DNA situation.”
Harriet smiled. “You think matchmaking is in her DNA? It’s an inherited trait, like blue eyes?”
“No. In our house DNA means Do Not Argue.”
Molly raised an eyebrow. “Something you know little about, Daniel Knight.”
Harriet gave up. “You guys are cute, but I have an early start and should really get some sleep.”
Daniel stood up. “You’re walking this guy’s dog again tomorrow?”
“Twice. Morning and afternoon, so that we don’t leave her on her own for long. I have three other walks besides Madi.”
“Who is this doctor? Give me his name,” Daniel said casually. “I’ll check him out.”
“You will not check him out.” Harriet gave him a push. “I don’t walk into your courtroom and embarrass you, so don’t do it to me.”
“I just want to check he’s not going to hurt you.”
It was no wonder she struggled to step out of her comfort zone. Her brother and sister had virtually locked her in there.
“He’s a client, Daniel. The only way he can hurt me is if he doesn’t settle his invoices on time.”
“And what are you going to do if the dog doesn’t behave?”
“She will. I’m sure Madi will be fine now.”