After the wedding, I was shell-shocked. As I sat at the head of a table surrounded by Deabru nobles with my demonic husband by my side, the full weight of what I'd done came slamming down on me. I thought of Shaya tossing herself from the highest tower of the palace and I understood why she did it.

Once the people I loved found out what I'd done, what would they think of me? I did it for them, but I doubt that would matter. And the worst was yet to come. My lord would take me to bed and sample what was forever his.

Dish after dish was sat before me, but I didn't touch any of it. Strange smells, unfamiliar spices. I occasionally ate human food for novelty, but the queasiness I felt wouldn't make it possible to try any of Deabru delicacies sitting in front of me.

I must have made a face when yet another sizzling plate was placed in front of me because Zuriel offered me his wrist. "Are you hungry, wife?"

I recoiled from his offering, regaining my composure far too late. "No. I'm fine. Thank you." The idea of sucking down his black blood was more nauseating than the food.

"Disgusting," mumbled a noble woman wearing form fitting black leather with white trim, whose dark hair fell wildly around her face with thick plaits in the back.

The man next to her softly scolded her with her name, "Mara."

But instead of discouraging her, it had the opposite effect. "I accept that it has married the king, but I shouldn't be forced to watch it slurp down his royal blood like some greedy leech."

Had I been home, she'd been dead before finishing her sentence. Julian would have never tolerated such blatant disrespect. I turned to Zuriel to see what he was going to do about Mara.

He was leaning back in his chair watching me as if he expected me to say something. I was being insulted in his court and he was going to allow it.

I rose from my chair and stormed from the room without a word to anyone. Zuriel told me I didn't need permission to come and go and I pleased. It seemed like a fine time to test that.

I ran until a reached a balcony. The castle walls seemed to close in on me. I needed air. I leaned over the ledge taking long, deep breaths.

How dare he just allow her to speak so ill of his new wife?! But what should I expect from the ruling king of demons. I clearly expected too much from such a vile species.

Between the clouds, I could make out the full moon. Tonight I would have been running barefoot through the woods with Max. The wind would brush my cheeks and my laughter would echo across the palace. Behavior unbecoming of a princess, but I was allowed some leeway.

My heart broke at the thought that I'd never feel that free and light again.

"Wine?"

I whipped around to find a young human holding a glass of spring wine. He must have never been trained to block his thoughts from vampires because his mind was completely open to me. He thought I was too lovely to be so sad and took it upon himself to remedy the situation.

I held out my hand to accept his offer. "And who might you be to so casually approach a queen?"

He handed me the glass and then took a step back. "I'm Alik, I take care of the drakes."

I lifted my glass in a mock toast. "Alik the Stableboy, my hero."

His studied his feet. "You just looked like you could use a drink. That's all."

I sipped the wine as I examined him. He looked nineteen, maybe twenty, with soft curls and still a hint of baby fat in his cheeks. He had a cuteness that would have gotten him taken as a blood slave in Sanguine, though, not by me. His thoughts would make a prostitute blush and I was prominently featured in them. I didn't fault him for his inability to shield his thoughts from me, but they were most certainly distracting. "You do realize that's physically impossible, even for me, right?"

He starred at me wide-eyed as the color drained from his face. "I forgot that you can do that."

"You aren't the first person I've caught thinking of me. Though I must admit, you were rather generous with my proportions. My bosom isn't really that large." I bit back a smile. Teasing some poor human boy, I could almost pretend I was still home.

"I'm going to go sit under a drake now. It was an honor meeting you, your majesty."

I held up a hand to stop him. "Wait! Stay with me for a bit."

He stayed put, focusing as hard as he could on tending to the drakes. His daily routine of feeding, cleaning, shoveling hay played through his mind on repeat. I found it interesting that he wasn't afraid of them. My kind had tried to tame drakes as the ability to fly would have made a huge difference in the war, but every attempt had ended in disaster. Yet this mere human boy had memories of soaring through the clouds.

"Were you born here? You don't seem very familiar with my kind."

He shook his head. "I was born in Kent. Being on the border, we were constantly raided. My dad died in the war, and my mom followed after him a year later when the Deabru attacked, setting the village on fire."

This was why I hated them. Humans were so vulnerable. I didn't understand how the Deabru could so easily take their fragile lives. My kind had ruled over mankind for as far back as the recorded history of the realm. When the Deabru came in with their cold brutality, we did our best to protect what was ours. But we shouldn't have had to. The Deabru's only reason for terrorizing the humans was to expand their borders because they bred like animals.

"I'm so sorry. Every time I hear stories like this I feel like my family has failed all of humanity."

"It was a long time ago. I was four years old wandering The Wastes, lost, starving, alone. Zuriel found me. He nursed me back to health, personally. He's a good man."

"He's not a man," I corrected.

"Deabru can be cruel and violent, but they also can be loving and kind. There is goodness in them, you just have to give them a chance to prove it. Especially, Zuriel. If his father was still around when Shaya was taken, he would have never accepted a truce. He would have pressed harder until the war was won and if she was killed in the process he would have tortured whatever vampires survived. And there is no way he would have taken a vampire wife. Zuriel is different from other Deabru. You need to give him a chance."

While I wanted to give him a chance, all I could think about was how he allowed me to be insulted in my own court without doing anything. He didn't seem much different from the others to me. "Even if I gave him a chance it wouldn't matter, they all hate me."

"That's not true. From what I've seen about a quarter hate you. Another quarter see you as the messiah, come to end the suffering and bloodshed and the rest are undecided. Give them a chance to know you and they will fall to their knees and worship you."

I finished off my spring wine, and sat the empty glass on the ledge. "I'm flattered, but I fear the rest of the court isn't so enamored with me."

He tilted his head to the side. "Do you really think your looks are the only amazing thing about you?"

I brushed the sides of my dress with my hands, not quite sure what to do with them now that I'd finished with my drink. "It's not like you know enough about me to find something other than my appearance appealing."

"I know that you came here willing to die for your people. I know you married a man you hate to protect them. I know you stared him down like a leopard facing a bear."

Now it was my turn to blush. "Like I said before, I don't hate him. I just hate his people. And for good reasons."

Alik nodded. "Both sides have good reasons to hate and they both have good reasons to stop."

I smiled. "How did someone so young get to be so wise?"

Alik returned my smile with a half grin. "Zuriel gets preachy late at night. You'll get used to it."

I laughed. It was getting late and as much as I dreaded it, I had wifely duties to perform. "Speaking of Zuriel, can you show me to his quarters?"

While Zuriel may have been trying to change his dress to please me, his room was very much that of a Deabru king. The heads of beasts he'd probably slain were mounted all over the walls. His bed was covered in thick furs of his kills instead of sheets. His furniture was well-made but sparse. Other than the bed there was only a desk and weapon rack. Not even a fireplace to warm him against the night's chill.

I removed my clothing and climbed between the furs and waited for my husband. Hours passed before he finally decided to leave the festivities. He bust through the door, laughing, a bottle in his hand. He halted at the sight of me. "What are you doing here?"

Was he serious? "It's our wedding night."

He stood there waiting for more.

"I'm here so that we can consummate the marriage."

He shook his head, words slightly slurred. "No, we don't do that. I gave my vow, you gave yours, we're married. And I won't bed a woman who recoils from me."

I tossed off the furs revealing myself to him. "Well, this is how we do things. And how exactly do you expect me to produce an heir if you won't touch me."

He desired my body. I could see the war in his eyes between the man that wanted to win my affections and the one that wanted to just climb on top of me and take what was his. I hoped the latter would win because he wouldn't be able to win my affections and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life pretending like he had them in order to do my duty.

But luck was against me. He backed out of the room and closed the door, leaving me alone in his bed. I buried my face under his furs not knowing which option I hated more, him leaving or him staying.