Kayla hasn’t returned one phone call or text message. She’s avoiding me and doing a spectacular job of it, too. I’m not entirely sure what happened. I thought we had a breakthrough. We shared an amazing morning, and then when I woke up, she was gone.
I’ll admit it fucking hurt. Still hurts. I’m not some fucking sap, and Kayla isn’t some fucking girl. Maybe it’s karma biting me in the ass. I’ve done my fair share of fooling around, taking women for granted. So when I finally land the one who actually means something to me, I end up meaning jack shit to her. Damn. It still burns me up. And I still fucking fantasize about her every night. It’s a cruel, vicious circle.
I scan the mob of motorcycles on the lookout for Riley and Knight. It’s dark, but the numerous five-gallon drums of fire shed enough light to see into the distance. The air smells like a campfire mixed with burning rubber while the roar of racing exhausts howl in the distance. Outside the hospital, this is my life, my family. A motley crew of men and women riding carbon fiber horses in the middle of nowhere, free as a bird.
Reese asked me why I came back. This is why. This community. This privilege. This easy abandon. I missed it. Missed my feral side. Here, I can express who I am, both personalities, the professional and the tempestuous.
The land is littered with brightly colored Yamahas, Ducatis, and Hondas, so it catches me off guard when I see a white custom Kawasaki part the crowd like the Red Sea. What surprises me even more is that he has a girl on the back.
Reese pulls up next to me, a small group of people flocking to us once he parks. We don’t even exchange a hello before the barrage for autographs begins. For a solid five minutes, Reese works the crowd, taking pictures, signing helmets, shirts and boobs all while the girl on the back clings to him shyly.
“Okay! Okay!” I bellow. If no one steps in, he’ll be trapped here all night. “Let the man breathe already! This isn’t a fuckin’ celebrity appearance!”
Reese signs a few last items before the horde dissipates.
Vultures.
I clasp my brother’s hand as he gets comfortable in the clearance.
“Who’s your friend?” I address the girl. When she removes her helmet—the blacked-out lid with pink racing stripes—I nearly fall off my bike. “What the . . .”Kayla?”
“Hey.” She actually has the decency to look guilty.
What’s going on here? My eyes jump furiously between the two of them. Am I in The Twilight Zone? The woman who proclaims publicly she doesn’t like bikes—or bikers—is currently sitting comfortably on my twin’s back seat, looking like she belongs there. Or at least belongs on the back of someone’s bike. I notice the way Reese touches her thigh, and I instantly become defensive, like a predator just moved in on my territory. How did this happen? What am I missing? Before I can erupt, Kayla flies off the back of Reese’s monster.
“Holy shit!” she nearly squeals. “Hold this.” She slams her helmet into Reese’s gut then takes off jogging into the distance.
Reese and I are both left perplexed until we see her nearly knock down another woman. It looks like an ecstatic reunion. You know, one of those girly ones where they jump up and down, hugging and carrying on.
I use this as the perfect opportunity to pounce.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I nearly rip Reese’s jugular out.
“What the fuck do you mean?” he snaps back.
“I mean what the fuck are you doing with Kayla?” I speak slowly, punctuating my words, hoping they stab him right in the dick.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“It looks like you’re fucking around. What are you doing back here anyway? Shouldn’t you be gallivanting across Europe right now?”
“I’m taking a break.” He situates his helmet and Kayla’s on the gas tank.
“A break from what?” I’m completely confused.
“Racing.”
“What?” I’ve never heard anything so preposterous fly out of my brother’s mouth. “You don’t take breaks from racing.”
“I do now.” Reese keeps his gaze focused on Kayla, which only infuriates me more.
“She’s a good girl, Reese.” My tone is threatening.
“I know she is.” His response is indifferent, which makes me want to rip my hair out.
“Then what are you doing with her?” I press.
“What do you think?” He leans forward and squeezes the grips.
“The last thing Kayla needs is for you to sink your teeth into her.”
“She hasn’t complained about my mouth being on her yet.” He smirks darkly.
Rage flares inside me. “I fucked her the morning after you left.”
That gets his attention. His blue eyes narrow, sharpen.
“I fucked her the night before I left.” That information makes me nearly blow a gasket. “And an hour ago.”
I glare at my brother, exhausting every ounce of control I have to keep from punching him dead in the face.
“You going to tell her?” I seethe. “You going to make her fall in love with you and then break her fucking heart? Because that’s the only future the two of you have.”
Reese breathes heavily. “That’s speculative.”
“No, it’s not. It’s a fact with your lifestyle.”
We stare each other down, blue eyes to blue eyes, but no glowering intimidation tactic is going to change the cold, hard facts. He’ll end up leaving her one way or another.
“Why the fuck do you care?” He lashes out before the realization hits. “You love her.”
I turn away from him. Love may be a strong word. But care? I definitely care. Too bad she’s already made her choice. I now understand the radio silence. And goddamn does it hurt. It fucking stings like a swarm of angry hornets.
I feel sick.
Karma. It’s a motherfuckin’ bitch.
I hear Reese sigh loudly, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. I’m too . . . wounded.
“Do you remember Cassie Hawthorne from high school?”
That gets my undivided attention.
“How could I ever forget?” She was a girl we shared the summer after graduation. Three drunk, young kids exploring their sexually ambitious side. We fucked her the entire summer. Right up until our father died and Reese went pro. I think that was the last real “relationship” he ever had with a woman.
Reese raises his eyebrows communicating his silent thought.
“Are you for real? She’ll never go for it.”
“I think she will. I think that’s what she secretly wants.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I challenge.
“Because what woman would say no?”
It’s official; he’s gone completely insane.
“Your ego defies gravity.”
“How do you think I got her on the back of my bike?” Reese smiles shamelessly. “I didn’t give her an ultimatum and neither should you.”
He’s got me there. He’s been able to beat me to the punch with Kayla in every way.
“So, what? One of us is just supposed to throw her over our shoulder like a caveman and declare her ours?”
“Why not? I want her; you want her. She wants us. Seems like simple math to me.”
I scrutinize my brother.
“Don’t look at me like that. You know this is a win-win for everyone.” He crosses his arms and stares off into the sea of people mingling, drinking, showing off their latest mods, and plain old shooting the shit.
My brother is a supremely complex individual.
It makes me frown. Win may not be the right word. Short-term solution sounds more like it. A bandage. A quick fix. Definitely not something permanent. But if Reese is cool with it, so am I. Because I want Kayla any way I can have her. I want her back in my bed, underneath me, begging to come. Even if that means I have to share her temporarily.
I’m willing to deal with the repercussions.
And there will be repercussions.
There always are.