I pace the parking garage like a stalkerish girlfriend, because that’s exactly what I’ve been reduced to. I don’t know what the fuck happened last night.
One minute, everything was fine; the stars were aligned with all three of us back together, and then, chaos. At one point, I thought Dev was going to rip me open. I’m actually still in a little pain, but it’s nothing compared to the confusion and worry shredding apart my insides. I texted him twenty times after he left with not a single response, and today at work, he’s avoided me at all costs. It’s killing me. So I’ve been stalking his car for the last half hour waiting for him to leave the hospital. I’m hiding by the back end of the Mustang, so he doesn’t see me until it’s too late. There’s no avoiding me now, and the expression on his face conveys he knows that.
He stops short a good three feet away. The physical and emotional distance breaks my fucking heart.
This isn’t the Dev I know—the one who can barely keep his hands off me, who now won’t even come near me. We stare at each other silently, his big blue eyes guarded.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell happened last night?” I cut to the chase. I have to know.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he just stands there quietly working his jaw.
I wait impatiently for an answer. “Dev.” I take a forceful step forward.
“Kayla, don’t.” He puts his hand up, stopping me from running into his arms.
“Don’t what? Talk to you? Look at you? Touch you?”
“Yes, all of it.” His voice is pained.
“Why?” I whisper, crushed.
“Because . . .” He struggles to explain. “Things are just different.”
“Different how?”
“I just can’t.”
“Can’t what?” I demand.
“Share you!” he shouts, his voice echoing like a sonic boom.
“What?” I’m left shocked.
“I don’t want to share you anymore.” He lays it all out for me. Clear and concise. As sharp as a blade.
“I don’t understand. Then what do you want?”
He grills me hard, and suddenly, I realize. “Oh, you want me to choose?”
“It’s the only way. Last night was a testament. I couldn’t stand seeing you with him. It sent me right off the deep end when I heard you moan his name . . .” He glowers like the memory is excruciating. “When you told him that you loved him . . .”
“I said I loved both of you,” I painfully remind him.
“I want to be the only one.”
I shake my head, disbelieving. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” Choosing isn’t an option for me. Not when I love them both.
“I want you to say you choose me.” He bangs his chest with a closed fist. “I want you to tell me the last two months changed you the same way they changed me.”
“They did change me. They made me love you more, but they didn’t make me love Reese less. And I can’t choose. I won’t. I love both of you. I’m committed to both of you.”
“How long do you think what the three of us have is going to last?” he snaps, enraged. “The rest of our lives? You going to marry us both? Have both our children?”
I have no response, because I haven’t thought that far into the future, but apparently, Dev has.
“Reese is nothing but a heartache waiting to happen. He’s going to hurt you, Kayla. Mark my words. There are things about him you don’t know. Get out while you still can. Choose me. Right now. And we can start a life together. A rock-solid life with no secrets.”
“Reese doesn’t keep secrets from me.”
“Yes, he does, Kayla. He loves racing more than anything. More than you, and one day, it’ll come between you, or worse, just completely take him away.”
“Why are you trying to poison me with your jealousy?” Angry tears cloud my vision. “Why are you trying to turn me against him? Do you think that’s going to make me choose? It just pisses me off!”
“I’m trying to make you see.” He grabs me by the arms hostilely.
“All I see if a selfish man who proved me right.”
“Proved you right how?”
“I knew you would hurt me, and you have. You are.” Hot tears escape from my eyes, cooling on my face in the cold March wind. “What happened to me being your future?”
“I do want you to be my future.” He shakes me. “I love you more than anything. I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want to be with you. That’s what I envision. You and me. And this is the only way,” he professes.
“No, it’s not.” I argue. “It’s your way! I won’t choose. I love Reese as much as I love you.” His expression morphs into something dark, a harrowing inverse to the amorous features I thrive on.
“So be it then.” He pushes me away. “You just condemned yourself to unimaginable heartbreak.”
“Oh, I think I can imagine it. I’m feeling it now,” I seethe.
Dev steps back, ruin written all over his beautiful features.
“Good-bye, Kayla.”
Those three words utterly destroy me. I feel it; they are final.
“Dev,” I mutter his name, an emotional mess. But he just ignores me and climbs into his car. “Dev!” I scream at him after he shuts the door. The V8 rumbles to life just before he pulls out, leaving me standing there entirely broken.
I can only watch, fragmented, as he drives away, still the owner of half of my heart.
The pain grates away at my insides as I hurry to my truck. In a fit of tears, I call Reese.
“Hello?”
“Can you come to my house?” I choke.
“Kayla? What wrong?” There’s alarm in his voice.
“Just please come over. I’m leaving work now.”
“I’ll come. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“I can’t, not now. I’ll see you in a few,” I snivel, then hang up.
I drive home in a daze, the wound still gaping and fresh. As promised, Reese is waiting for me when I get there. I barely put the car in park before I jump out and retreat into his arms.
“Baby, what happened? Tell me what the hell is wrong.” He hugs me tightly.
“It’s Dev.”
“Did something happen to him?” he asks panicked.
“No. He’s done,” I try to explain.
“Done? Done with what?”
“Me.” I break down, sagging in his arms.
Reese carries me inside as I continue to fall apart. He directs us into the kitchen and plants me on the countertop.
“Please take a breath and tell me what happened.” He wipes my wet face with his palms. “Does this have something to do with last night?”
“Yes. He wanted me to choose, and I wouldn’t.”
“Choose?” He tries like hell to interpret. “Between the two of us?”
“Yes. He said he couldn’t share anymore. So it was basically all or nothing. But I won’t choose. I love you both. So much.” I ball his shirt in my hands, holding on for dear life.
“Fucking idiot,” Reese mutters lividly. “Kayla, I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?” He clutches my face. I shake my head. The pain is just too much.
“Relax.” He kisses me tenderly, soothingly. “Relax, I’m here, and I’m never leaving you.” He forces me to look him in the eye. “Tell me you believe that.”
I hesitate, Dev’s warning unforgettable. “Reese is nothing but a heartache waiting to happen. He’s going to hurt you, Kayla. Mark my words. There are things about him you don’t know. Get out while you still can.”
What if he’s right?
“Kayla.” Reese jostles me.
“I do,” I squeak out.
“Good.” Satisfied, he pulls me into a bear hug. As I rest my head on his chest, emotional exhaustion begins to set in. I sigh deeply, wanting nothing more than to curl up next to Reese and go to sleep.
“Do you want to lie down?” He senses my surrender.
I nod.
We retreat to my small bedroom. It’s been ages since I slept here. I crawl bone-tired onto the bed with Reese right beside me. I lay my head on his chest and draw on his warmth. On his love. Listening to the sound of his erratic heartbeat.
Reese runs his fingers through my hair, lulling me to sleep.
I close my eyes, welcoming the slumber.