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Noriko

 

 

 

What had I done?

I’m sorry Papa, I don’t think I can stay here.

I must. I could not live if my papa died. This experimental treatment was his only hope. I couldn’t live with myself if I killed him.

My sacrifice ripped me apart. I gripped the carpet of my gilded prison as my heart spilled out onto the floor. I cried for my father who I could not reach, I cried for this unfair life, and I cried, selfishly, for myself. For marrying such a horrible, horrible man.

Between my cries, I heard the door open and shut. I felt soft, fleshy arms pulling me to my feet and motioning me towards the bed. “There you go, love.” It was Loretta, her voice soothing. “Get into bed.” She pulled the covers over me, clothes, bag and all.

She sat beside me and brushed my hair. I couldn’t help but lean into her touch. She smelled like lavender and baby powder. It had been almost three years since I felt a gentle hand stroking my hair back. God, I miss Mama so much. If only she were here.

“There now,” Loretta shushed softly at me. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

No, it’s not. “I hate him.”

“He’s a good man. You’ll see.”

“He’s a beast of a man,” I sobbed.

“He’s a bit rough around the edges, yes. A good wife will help smooth those edges out.”

“He won’t let me call my father.”

Loretta sighed. “He’s got his ways, Mr. Blackwell does. If he refused you to speak to him, it’s only because he thinks it’s best.”

I gritted my teeth. Best for who? Best for him?

Loretta smiled. “You just need to give him a chance.”

“He doesn’t deserve it.”

“Everyone deserves a chance.”

I was running out of tears. They were drying on my cheeks. I folded my arms across my chest and stared off at one of the walls. Mr. Blackwell did not deserve anything from me.

She patted my arm. “You have a choice, dear, on who you want Drake Blackwell to be. I’ve seen him tear down his opponents without mercy like they were made of paper. But if you are loyal to him, if you stand by his side, he can give you the world.”

“I don’t want the world. I want my papa. I want my family.”

“There comes a time in every girl’s life when she needs to leave her family and start one of her own.”

I clutched my bag closer to me. Loretta didn’t know my plan. No one did. Mr. Blackwell would never be my family. I would never have his child. Never.

“When Mr. Blackwell told me he was going to take a wife, I was tickled pink. It’s about time that man settled down and had a family of his own. Lord knows, he deserves it after…” She cleared her throat.

I sat up in bed. What was she about to say? After what?

“It’ll be good to have children here again. It always cheers up the house when they’re around.” Loretta smiled, her face lighting up, her eyes going misty.

I sniffed and wiped my cheeks, my curiosity overriding my sadness for now. “How long have you been here?”

“Since Mr. Blackwell was born. I was his nanny. When he stopped needing a nanny, well, I suppose I never left.”

I let out a snort. “I don’t think he ever stopped needing a nanny.”

Loretta laughed and rubbed my arms. “I’m glad you’re here, Noriko. You’re a breath of fresh air. I daresay, you might be the best thing to ever happen to him.”

Not likely.

I said nothing. No need to burst Loretta’s bubble or make her suspicious that my intention was to leave after one year.

She patted my arm. “You take tonight to be sad, girl. I’ll have someone come up with some dinner.”

“But, Mr. Blackwell…” It was our wedding night. The memory of his devilish eyes brimming with some kind of primal hunger sent a shiver through my spine.

“I’ll handle him, don’t you worry.” She moved towards my bedroom door.

“Loretta?” I called before she disappeared out my door.

“Yes, dear?”

“Thank you.”

She nodded before she left me alone with my swirling thoughts.