Copyright © Chelsea Camaron 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of Chelsea Camaron, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.

This is a work of fiction. All character, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

1^st edition published: November 1, 2017

Editing by: Asli Fratarcangeli

Formatting by: Silla Webb

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Thank you for purchasing this book. This book and its contents are the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied, and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes.

This book contains mature content not suitable for those under the age of 18. Content involves strong language and sexual situations. All parties portrayed in sexual situation are over the age of 18. All characters are a work of fiction.

This book is not meant to be an exact depiction of a motorcycle club but rather a work of fiction meant to entertain.

***Warning: This book may contain graphic situations that may be a trigger for some readers. Please understand this is a work of fiction and not meant to offend or misrepresent any situations.***

To my nephew: you are a light in my life. Since before you were born, I prayed for you, wished for you, dreamt about you, and loved you. My wish for you is a life of love, happiness, and don’t ever let anyone hold you back. You are a bundle of energy, emotion, and all things right when sometimes we are surrounded in so much wrong in the world. I will always be here for you. Family is everything.

December 1st

Every snowflake is unique.

The sky is not filled with some gorgeous light of a new day. In fact, the air is thick, cold, and unforgiving. It matches my soul at the moment. Snow will be pouring down soon, I can feel it in the air. Jameson, Vermont, our small town, in the winter is frigid at times. Maybe it’s not the air that’s so cold but the feeling of my heart.

The Lincoln town car slows down and stops behind the Hearse. I squeeze my sister Lindsey’s hand as a comfort and reminder that as much as she feels alone, in this moment, she isn’t.

My nephew sits on the other side of her, most likely still trying to process what has happened. Keegan turned nine this past summer. They say children are resilient but really, what more can one person take? I am twenty-nine years old and completely shattered. How can anyone expect him to get through all of this?

In the last eleven months, my mother passed away from cancer, then my father, two weeks later, from a heart attack, as if that loss wasn’t enough, their cat, Petunia, didn’t adjust to the shared custody agreement Lindsey and I had – she took off out the door behind Keegan one day and the next time we saw her, she had been hit by a car in front of my parents’ previous home. We can only assume she was homesick and looking for our parents.

Ten days ago, on a simple training exercise with his unit, my brother-in-law died in a helicopter crash leaving my sister, Lindsey and their young son, Keegan, behind.

Thanksgiving didn’t happen for our family because honestly, Lindsay and I couldn’t find much to be thankful for other than each other and Keegan. I get it. We are wrong for the bitterness.

It can always be worse, we both have to remind each other and ourselves of that fact.

But this ... this is hard. And to have those men in uniform show up just days before Thanksgiving, days before Kyle would be home on the holiday time off the Marines gave him, and days before my sister could tell him that she was ready to try for a second child that Kyle had been asking for, it just makes everything more difficult. There will be no second baby for my sister and her husband. Keegan will be the only product of their love. There was no way we could celebrate a time of thanks when we had simply lost too much.

Does that make us bad people? I don’t think so. Does it make us human and full of raw emotions? Absolutely.

Ten days ago, our world changed once again. The mourning process isn’t easy normally, but with Kyle’s situation there was time needed to “process him and his belongings,” the military said. Lindsey thinks they were trying to sort out all of the victims’ family and the bodies. There was not a single survivor from the crash so I am sure there was a lot of things for them to handle on top of the investigation to determine what actually happened.

The answers we seek we will most likely never know. The documents of the crash are classified, only adding to our mourning. We won’t ever know what caused Kyle to be taken from his wife, his son, and our family.

I can’t say if having his body sooner, or having this service, days after the accident, would change a single thing about the way we feel right now or not. We didn’t have that option so we take what we get and try to push through.

I wish I could say we had some large extended family to be some sort of support system. We don’t, though. Our grandparents passed away before we were born so Lindsey and I are left leaning on one another now.

The car door opens and I swallow back the emotions threatening to drown me where I sit. Sliding out, I stand and wait for my sister and then Keegan before we follow our military escort to the graveside.

The service is a whirlwind of one tradition to another. Everything laced in history and respect for their fallen brother. The Navy Chaplain who performed the service actually requested it. Apparently on one of the many deployments Kyle made, he met this particular Chaplain. According to what Lindsay said, he held Kyle in a high regard, even if he was a Jarhead – the man did make those jokes in his opening. All in all, though, the man made it clear there were very few men with Kyle’s integrity, courage, commitment, and honor.

He should tell the world. I don’t have a single negative thing to say about my brother-in-law. I don’t know anyone who could say something bad about him. Lindsey and Kyle met when they were still in diapers and I wasn’t even thought of. Side-by-side the two of them grew up together, fell in love, and built this life.

Lindsey being Lindsey and wanting to be near our family, she let her husband work away from home. Kyle joined the Marines while allowing her to stay here to be with our parents who were aging, and then when I graduated from college she was here to help me start my business. Their love was strong enough to withstand any distance, they both always said. So even though, they only had weekend visits, and holiday leave time, Kyle always made the best of it. Every single day, he would video call Keegan and do his homework with him, read to him, and talk about anything and everything under the sun. When bed time came if Kyle was away, he made sure before he left that there was a new recording in this bear he found to say goodnight and I love you to his son.

My feet falter as my heels get stuck in the ground as we walk away from the graveside. Twenty-one-gun salute, the playing of Taps, the presentation of the flag, it was all painful. Lindsey looks back to check on me, while holding the folded flag tightly to her chest.

The two men, all I could do was stare at their white glove covered fingers as they first folded it in half, then in half again before pulling the old red, white, and blue tight. The one Marine stood absolutely still holding the flag while his comrade continued to make the triangles until it was to the place they could tuck the ends and seal the flag closed. The very flag that was draped over Kyle’s casket to cover the Marine for his service to our country.

As emotional as it was to have that flag presented to my sister on behalf of the President of the United States of America and the Marines, it doesn’t touch what I feel thinking of my nephew and the things he has to hold onto for his dad. No, nothing hits me as hard as thinking of that bear right now. Lifting my head to the sky, I don’t speak but I silently pray.

“Please don’t let that bear ever break and erase the sound of his daddy’s voice.”

I feel the heat of my tears trickle down my face as I follow my sister holding her son’s hand and we slide back into the car.

The men in their uniform make no movements right away. They respect our time and allow us to get comfortable. They show no expressions on their faces. There isn’t a sadness exactly, but a somberness in their expressions.

The one thing that stands out most, though, is the respect they carry themselves with for Kyle. Through the entire service, they never faltered.

I can only hope that for the rest of Keegan’s life, Lindsey and I never falter for the little boy who has lost half of his world.

December 12th

Everything gets better in time ... or with wine.

“I have an idea!” Lindsey says with a huge smile from across the dinner table.

“Hit me with it,” I tell her swirling spaghetti around my fork.

“Well, every year when Kyle got leave for Christmas, he always did a Toys for Tots rotation at the toy store in Bingham in his full dress blues uniform.” I nod for her to continue. “I have a set of kid’s blues for Keegan. So I think this year, we should write our lists to Santa and mail them off at the big mail box they have that shoots direct to the North Pole and spend an hour donating our time to the charity along with some toys.”

I see the tears fill my sister’s eyes. Looking over to Keegan, my heart splinters with the hope in those deep blue depths. The mail box doesn’t shoot directly to the North Pole but it’s something Kyle always told Keegan. This is an opportunity to keep a memory alive.

Instantly, I nod. “Guess we need to make our wish lists for good ole Saint Nick.”

Keegan jumps up from his chair and rushes to me wrapping his hands around my neck. “Aunt Tins, you’re gonna love giving back!”

Lindsey watches us as the tears flow down her face now in streams.

“My daddy always took me with him. We have to stand real still. It’s to honor the men in the uniform that came before us. If a child needs some help, only then do we break stance because we are here to protect and serve.” Keegan explains his previous times with his dad.

Times he will never have again.

I swallow back my tears. “Sounds like we have an important job to do then.”

“First, we gotta write our lists,” Keegan rambles as he takes off to his room.

Immediately, I look to my sister who has this glisten in her eyes of pride for this family tradition her husband had with their son. “Okay sister, what do we put on these lists?”

Lindsey smiles at me, “our Christmas wishes, duh.” She winks at me. “Adult style of course.”

“Yeah, and what should we put on them, feeted pajama’s?” I joke back lifting my glass of wine.

“Have a few more glasses and settle in for the night. We don’t have to rush. We can make this silly and fun. No one will see the lists anyway.”

This is the first time since just before Thanksgiving when the uniformed Marines showed up at her front door that Lindsey actually seems like she is living. We have all been going through the motions. If this gives my nephew something normal in a shit storm of chaos, then I will gladly make lists to Santa every year for the rest of my life.

Keegan returns with paper, pencils, and a box of markers. He places the paper in the middle and hands the markers to me. “Aunt Tins, you might wanna color yours. It’s been a while since you have written to the jolly man. He might need something to remember you need to move to the good list from the naughty side.”

I gasp. “Keegan Rosswell Miller, I’ll have you know, I give Santa my Christmas list every year. I told you I email that direct to the fat man in the suit every year.”

He smiles at me with his crooked bottom teeth, “Aunt Tins, you really shouldn’t email Santa. He has elves who get your lists then. He doesn’t get to read them. Plus, you shouldn’t call him the fat man in the suit.”

“Really and why shouldn’t I?” I try to lighten my own mood so Keegan doesn’t feel me break apart right in front of his eyes.

“Daddy said the real Santa had a rounded belly because he had a good woman in Mrs. Claus. She cooked so good he couldn’t help but to eat. He wasn’t as big as the men fillin’ in for him at the mall, but he had a good woman and needed a little extra to keep him warm since it’s cold where he lives.”

“Your daddy definitely had an explanation for everything.” I smile to Keegan.

“Yup, and he never let me email Santa. Only Momma tried that.”

I look to my sister who is now full out laughing at me. “I’ll have you know every email I’ve sent gets a response.”

He rolls his little eyes at me. “One of those generic ones. Daddy always said we gotta write the man a real letter and make it big so he didn’t have to strain with them little glasses Santa wears. And one year, Momma lost my list, she said she would email it ... we got a reply too and ya know what, Aunt Tins?”

“What Keegan?”

“That’s the year Santa forgot my water guns for the summer!”

I put my hand over my mouth in shock knowing that my sister did indeed lose his list and in her panic asked Keegan to help her send an email ... an email to a made up account that I quickly set up after her frantic text. I was the one who sent him back a generic email acknowledging his email. Only in my sister’s panic she left off water guns so when we pulled the email back up there was no water gun on the list. Something my nephew apparently never intends to let Santa off the hook for forgetting.

“Daddy said, always write my letter myself so Santa can see my handwriting getting better. Put the stamp on the top corner and drop it in the box with a smile because Santa wants us to be full of joy,” he winks at his mother only it is more of a blink because he still hasn’t mastered the one-eye wink, “and cookies.”

Well, Santa I can never deny this little boy in front of me so it’s a letter and cookies you will have Mr. Claus.

Two hours later, my sister and I have finished off a full bottle of wine.

“Looks like I’m crashing here tonight, Linds.”

She smiles as she picks up Keegan’s Christmas list. “Good, you can help me plan where to hide this in your townhouse till Christmas.”

Like any good sister would, I slide over beside her on the couch and we make a plan.

With the buzz building into full on intoxication suddenly Lindsey has this paper turned over in my hand with a pen.

“Okay Tinsley, your turn.”

I shake my head. “What am I supposed to ask Santa for?”

“You need a man.”

I give off a huff. “Yup, mail order husband sign me up.”

“It might go better than that last guy you dated.”

Covering my face in my hands I hide my embarrassment. “He was nice. He just had some things to sort out in life.”

“Tinsley, he was on house arrest living at his momma’s. You don’t need that kind of baggage in your life.”

I nod my head because she’s right. The problem is the Kyle’s in life are few and far between. My track record with men hasn’t been good and the one time I allowed myself to love, I got wrecked when he cheated on me with someone I considered a friend.

“Well, I guess Santa is my best option for matchmaking at this point.”

She laughs, “exactly.”

On a giggle I start the letter.

I hand the paper to my sister who reads it. She grabs the pen from me and taps it on her chin. “Okay, you describe your number one book boyfriend and I’ll write the details.”

Laughing, I go along with it. After all, this isn’t getting mailed anywhere.

“Let’s see, you know I love those bikers written by Ryan Michele, especially Stiff from Vipers Creed.” Just the thought has me ready to reread that book over again. “So I need a biker. Yes, Santa, bring me a biker! I want him to be tall, built.”

“I get you love Ryan Michele’s books but really, out of all the book boyfriends you have, you choose a biker?” Lindsey asks still tapping the pen. “What about a man in uniform?” She gets this dreamy look in her eyes, “Kyle was so sexy in his dress blues.”

“Okay, how about a Marine biker.” I specify while she scribbles it down.

“Tall, in shape, Marine man, biker. What else?”

Hmmm, I think. “Alpha.”

She laughs, “I love an alpha male too. We need to pick a new series to read soon, sister!”

I nod my head and being so drunk, I take my focus back to my dream man wish from dear ole Saint Nick. “He has to love family. He has to love an independent woman. I may not have a glamorous job, but it’s a job I love. I don’t want to be supported financially by a man. I want someone who believes in me. He has to know what he wants and not hold back. If he wants to kiss me, he’ll kiss me. If he is all in, he’ll simply say it and there won’t be silly games and unspoken things between us.”

“Yes, ma’am, knows what he wants. Got it,” Lindsey mutters scribbling away. “Let the birdie fly, don’t hold her back. But you want her, you claim her in front of God and country. Got it.”

I finish my wine and set the glass down. “And by biker, I don’t want a one-percenter. Let’s be clear, I can’t do the outlaw. You know the killing and the danger, can’t have that. I want the weekend rider. Keegan has to be safe at all times with anyone in my life.”

I see the tears before Lindsey speaks. “Yes, whoever you are with has to be the father figure in Keegan’s life.”

Reaching over I hug my sister as we squish the list and pen between us. “Lindsey, I know you can’t see it, but one day you will have love again.”

“There will never be another man like Kyle. I’ll never have love like we had again.” She sobs and I hold her close.

There will never be another man like Kyle for my sister or her son. I’ve never known a love like theirs but I aspire to have it.

Silently, I pray. Lord, maybe if you would see fit to give me a man half as good as Kyle for me and for Keegan. I know there is a part of Lindsey that will never be open to anyone again. Let us find happiness and wholeness once again. Amen.

“Even if he’s not a biker or a Marine, one day Linds I’ll have a good man in my life that is good to me, you, and Keegan. Otherwise, he can hit the road Jack and don’t look back!”

“Tinsley, I don’t want you worrying about me and Keegan. I just want you to be happy and know love.”

“If a man can’t be good to my sister and my nephew, he’s not the man for me. I won’t be happy unless my man is good with my family.”

Together we rest our foreheads on each other. “Family is everything.” We whisper together.

It is.

Family is always everything.

December 16^th

Every second of every day your memory lives on in those left behind.

“Tinsley,” Lindsey says behind her tears. “Kyle’s unit knew about his tradition of standing duty for Toys for Tots here. They are all each taking a different rotation so when we bring Keegan there will be a Marine standing to serve and protect in honor of his daddy.”

Emotions pour from me automatically. These men don’t know us. They only know of us from Kyle. Semper Fidelis, always faithful. Kyle said the brotherhood in the Marines was something he couldn’t put into words. Men from his unit have called, wives have sent packages, and the support has not wavered.

It takes me a few minutes to gather my own composure while my sister is a mess in front of me.

“Okay Linds, this is not the time to fall apart.” I whisper. “They are paying respect to your husband the best way they know how ... continuing a memory, a tradition. We gotta get ourselves together to show honor and respect to these men.”

Two hours later, we are parked and ready to enter the toy store in Bingham which is just a town over from Jameson. It took some time to get our emotions under control, then fix our makeup and get Keegan ready. Wearing his dress blues, hat included which Keegan informed me is known as a cover, he finally is ready to go. Overall, Keegan is quiet, subdued, and no doubt missing his dad.

This is the time of the year when children should be overjoyed with excitement and anticipation for the holiday. There are moments where Keegan seems to forget briefly or put aside the sadness to enjoy the holiday season. For the most part though, he is still processing his loss. Lindsey and I feel the same way. How can we expect him to sort through Kyle’s death when we can’t seem to do it as adults?

Stepping out of my sister’s Chevy Traverse, the cold hits my face while my body is covered in my wool coat and my neck covered by my scarf. The snow is on the ground but not falling from the sky today which is a nice break. My sister comes around to where Keegan and I stand pulling her gloves over her fingers while she too adjusts to the cold.

We walk up to the entrance, but not inside because the first thing we notice are two Marines in their full dress blue uniforms standing on either side of the Toys for Tots collection box at the entrance. As soon as we approach they raise their hands and salute. Lindsey and I look at each other not sure what we should do.

Little Keegan releases his grip on both of our hands. Looking to him, slowly his white glove covered right hand goes up. His feet move together, heels touching and toes pointed slightly out as he rolls his shoulders back and lifts his right hand thumb to forehead, flat palm to the ground in salute to the men in front of him. Only after he gives the return salute do the men drop their hands.

Respect.

Honor.

It’s all felt between these men and this little boy.

There is a table to the left of these men with a picture of Kyle and their unit.

“Keegan Miller reporting for duty, sirs.” Keegan says while putting his arms straight down at his sides, fists closed and thumbs pointing down.

“At ease, Marine.” One of the men says and his deep baritone draws my attention to the thin line of his lips and the strong features of his face in jawline and cheek bones. He is simply gorgeous.

Keegan moves his left foot out to stand beside us shoulder-width apart with his feet and he moves his hands behind his back. Not having spent any time in the military or around military men, I assume this is something Kyle taught his son.

Extending a hand to my nephew, the man continues. “I am Gunnery Sergeant Causely. You are Staff Sergeant Miller’s son and it is an honor to meet you.”

Keegan doesn’t make a move to shake the man’s hand.

“Keegan, shake his hand.” Lindsey commands.

At first Keegan refuses to speak or turn his head to look at my sister. “Keegan Rosswell Miller, shake the man’s hand. You are bein’ disrespectful.”

With a small turn of his head, he whispers, “He didn’t say rest, momma. I can’t move from at ease. I gotta relax but listen. I can’t talk right now, Momma. I got my uniform on. You’re messin’ me up.”

“At rest, Marine,” the man commands and immediately Keegan relaxes and reaches out to the hand.

“Daddy didn’t teach me what to do about a hand shake, Gunny.”

I look to Lindsey and the tears are falling down as she no doubt is remembering the times Kyle spent “playing” drill with Keegan.

“Son, it was an honor and a privilege to serve with your father.” He turns to my sister. “Mrs. Miller, your husband was a valuable asset to our unit, his community, and we hope this is our small way to give back to a Marine who gave us so very much.” He shakes my sister’s hand.

“Thank you, Ryan.” Lindsey says as the two of them share a moment. Obviously, Lindsey knows this Marine. “Kyle always spoke highly of you and your friendship. I know you are in uniform so you have to be professional, but it’s Lindsey. Mrs. Miller makes me think of my mother-in-law.” Lindsey sighs no doubt thinking of the woman who took her in as her own daughter. Kyle’s mom was an amazing mother-in-law and she passed away before Keegan was even born. Lindsey gave Keegan her maiden name, Rosswell, as his middle name in tribute.

I see the man in front of me tighten his face no doubt to keep his emotions in check.

“I am sorry I missed the memorial, Lindsey. Duty first, I was on a training exercise.”

The somberness in his tone is genuine and I feel something inside of me relax that Kyle had this real comradery and these real connections, friendships in the Marines.

Turning to me, I get a head nod before he extends his hand to me.

Electricity zips through me at the contact. “Tinsley Parker, sister-in-law to Kyle.”

I see only the briefest of a half smile start to form before the man quickly covers it up leaving me to wonder if he felt the zap too. “An honor to meet you and serve today in place of our brother-in-arms. This is Corporal Laclan.”

The man releases my hand, suddenly leaving me empty and uneasy. He steps back into his position without another word. The other man steps forward extending his hand. We go through general introductions before he steps back. My body is still alive from the contact with Gunny Causely.

Lindsey and I look at each other both fighting back so many emotions for what these men represent. They will never know the gift they have given to our family today.

Keegan reaches into Lindsey’s purse pulling out his Christmas list and dropping it into the mail box. Lost in everything, Lindsey nor I pay attention as Keegan joins the men beside the box to serve his duty alongside them.

Lindsey and I move to the sidewalk out of the way but still able to be close in case Keegan needs us. It may physically be cold outside, in the thirties actually, but my heart is warm. Kyle is honored for the man he was. We will never be the same without him, but there will be pieces of him with us, warming us, comforting us no matter the storms we weather, or the colds times we face in life.

“My husband was a good man, an honorable man, and a man of courage. His son will be his legacy.” Lindsey says proudly.

I look to the sky where the clouds are bright white against the blue background. For December there is snow on the ground but none in the air today. Adjusting my scarf, a warmth covers me and it’s not from the clothing I wear, another reminder of him.

Kyle may not be with us anymore but his love surrounds us always.

December 24^th

Is there Christmas in Heaven?

Work has been busy which is both a blessing and a curse. I’m a mobile dog groomer. Meaning, I have this decked out, specially equipped van that I drive to my clients’ homes and groom their dog from. It’s a dirty job at times, but so rewarding to get to know each pet’s personality.

I love what I do.

Right now, though, I feel like Lindsey and Keegan need me more than they are able to get me. Part of that is because my sister is also my secretary, appointment tracker, bookkeeper, office manager, and whatever other title you want to give her. With her needing to grieve Kyle and take care of Keegan, I’ve taken on more of her work. It’s always been a juggling act to run a business that is so hands on, but right now it’s like balancing plates and one is destined to fall.

Today is a day off for us both. It’s also Christmas Eve.

Lindsey did decorate the house, trying to keep things semi-normal, and together, the three of us put up the tree. Every ornament seemed to bring up another memory with Kyle. Then we found the box of ornaments from our parents. Going through them all and seeing some of the ornaments they kept left us both in tears from the walk down memory lane.

Our mother was sentimental. She had the gingerbread ornaments Lindsey and I made in grade school. I remember she used to take out the box every year and make a vanilla extract, cinnamon, and nutmeg mixture, adding a drop to each of the ornaments to rejuvenate the smells they had when we first made them. She also had glass ornaments with our handprints on them every year until we were too big to make them.

Mom’s best friend, Miss Marie loved to craft. She didn’t have kids of her own so she would always help mom come up with a new craft for us all to do together. She was like an aunt. Miss Marie was an avid reader. Marie gave me my first romance novel and it has been my escape ever since. Lindsey reads too, but Marie and I would spend hours making scrapbook pages together about our favorite books. Lindsey liked to read, but the crafts weren’t her thing. We still read every day, typically the same book so we can talk about it, but I miss crafts with Marie. After Marie’s husband passed away, she moved to her sister’s in Florida to get away from the snow. She can’t travel anymore so we don’t see her, but I do regularly mail her books.

Stepping inside my sister’s house, the smell of cinnamon hits me just as I hang up my coat and take off my shoes.

“Linds,” I call out.

“In the kitchen,” she replies while Keegan rushes to greet me.

When you walk in my sister’s house she has a small narrow entry way that has a door to her office – our business affairs office – to the left and then leads down about eight feet to the opening to her living room. Off the living room to the left is her kitchen where I move to and find her with a stock pot on the stove.

“Hey good lookin’, whatcha got cookin’?” I ask as I slide onto the stool across her island.

She looks at me in her Mrs. Claus apron popping her hip out a little as she stops stirring. “Apples for four apple pies, Mom’s recipe.”

Her eyes meet mine and they are puffy from tears she obviously has shed today.

“Why four?” I ask wondering what is really going on other than celebrating a holiday without our loved ones. “It’s just us, I love apple pie, but my hips don’t need four of them.”

“The men in Kyle’s unit pulled Keegan’s Christmas list from the mailbox at Toys for Tots day. Together they all pooled their money together to get Keegan some presents. I got an email two days after we met Ryan, Kyle’s friend and superior, and the other man at the store. Remember, it’s the email I told you about.”

“Yes, you told me what they bought so we didn’t spend money we didn’t have to. Why the four apple pies? I thought when the life insurance money was settled you were going to do something for their unit in memory of Kyle and the others who died alongside him. I know money isn’t free flowing right now, but the money will come. I am still paying you. I told you not to worry about Keegan and Christmas.” I ramble on knowing Lindsey and I made sure he got everything on the list that was left after the unit’s gifts.

Things aren’t easy on my sister, but I have made sure her bills are paid and food on the table. Kyle had survivors’ benefits so she will have some money from that as well as the insurance.

“Did the gifts from them not arrive?” I ask panicking a bit. “I’m sure I can go out after dinner and get some more things, but I can’t promise everything on the list, Linds.” I sigh fearing the let down my nephew will have. After losing so much this year, I wanted him to have everything he could put on the list. Materials may not take away the loss of our loved ones, but maybe for a few seconds they can help my nephew forget.

“Gunny Causely - Ryan, will be here tonight after I text him that Keegan is in bed to put the gifts under our tree.” The tears fall down her beautiful face. “He is personally delivering them.”

“Don’t cry Linds.”

“These people have gone out of their way for us. I can’t do much right this minute, but I can bake.”

I feel my own emotions well up and threaten to fall just as hard as her tears.

She turns off the pot and turns to the pie pans beside her. “There is more. Tinsley, Gunny Causely, as you know him, is part of a motorcycle club, Guardians of the Fallen. He said they will be hosting a run in honor of Kyle here in Vermont next year. They are setting up something called a poker run in honor of each lost member of their unit to the crash. The money raised will go to a college fund for the kids. Keegan’s gonna have a college fund.” She sobs. “I don’t know what else to do but send home food. I can bake. So I’ll give them my best pie to give a little part of our family back to them.”

And it happens, the tears fall over. My stomach tightens and my chest feels heavy. These people only worked with Kyle. They were all too far away because of Lindsey’s decision to stay here to help me with my business and be around for our aging parents.

Keegan comes in the kitchen just as I manage to stop crying and Lindsey gets the last of the four pies in the oven. He wraps his small arms around my waist and gives me a side hug.

“Aunt Tins, I missed you today!”

“Oh buddy, Aunt Tinsley loves you so very much and I am so happy to be home tonight with you and your momma.”

He looks up at me and then over to Lindsey. “Why are you guys cryin’?”

“Just missin’ your daddy,” I tell him.

“Aunt Tins, do you think there is Christmas in Heaven? Will my daddy be able to celebrate where he is?”

The world stops. The innocence in his question halts thoughts of anything and everything.

Lindsey drops the pot holder in her hand and loses it. She crumbles to the floor against the cabinets. Keegan releases me and rushes to his mom, while I slide off the stool and follow him over to her, both of us joining her on the floor.

“Mom, don’t cry. It’s okay if Daddy can’t have Christmas. He’s a Marine, so he’ll be okay.” Keegan tries to comfort Lindsey. “Once a Marine, always a Marine. You know, Mom. Even in Heaven, he’s still a Marine. He will be okay.”

Lindsey fights for composure while I drape an arm over her shoulder and pull my nephew to sit on my lap.

“Keegan,” I begin. “Your Daddy was the strongest man I ever knew. I’m sure he’s having Christmas with Pop-pop and Nana.”

Keegan takes his attention from his mom to look at me. He whispers seriously worried for his father. “Aunt Tins, what will they do? I mean angels don’t eat, they don’t have presents. What will my Daddy do? How do they have Christmas?”

I feel my cheeks heat with the warmth of my own tears falling. “Well,” I say finding my voice cracking. “You know your Daddy loved you very much. He was also always everyone’s protector. So I imagine, your Daddy is in Heaven watching over us. He’s celebrating the love we all have for each other and for him.”

“Do you think he’s okay, Aunt Tins?”

I feel myself ready to break. My sister gasps fighting her emotions are she shakes in my arm. Rather than speak, I pull Keegan to me and hold him close kissing the top of his head. It takes me a few seconds to get myself under control.

“I think your Daddy is more than okay, Keegan. You know what they say buddy, love it knows no distance. As much love as we have for your daddy and your daddy has for you well it’s like he’s right here with us because we can still feel that ya know?”

Keegan nods his head against me. “I really miss him,” he whispers. “I wish he could be here with us.”

“So do I, buddy. So do I.” I reply holding my sister and nephew close wishing they weren’t hurting like they are right now.

Thoughts of Kyle’s unit coming are gone as we sit together on the floor of my sister’s kitchen crying and wishing things were different. When we’re all cried out, Keegan is the first to get up, then me, and together we help Lindsey get to her feet and finish the pies.

Quietly we eat a small dinner together each of us caught up in our own emotions. We change into pajamas before Lindsey lays down with Keegan for bed. I told her to stay with him and I would handle getting presents out. Since Keegan was born, I’ve always spent Christmas Eve at my sister’s house to help her with presents and to be here to take pictures and have the experience with Keegan as he wakes up to find all his gifts.

There will be a time all too soon where Keegan won’t believe in the magic of Christmas and the man in the red suit bringing presents and wishes for a good year ahead. Until then, I will get the gifts out and let my sister have a night holding her son close and not carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I get the stockings filled, including my sisters with a special gift from me to her. Time passes and I find myself dozing on the couch. There is a knock at the door a little later. Looking at the clock it scares me to see it’s after ten. It takes a few seconds for me to realize Lindsey’s phone is plugged into the charger in the kitchen and she was expecting Gunny Causely.

Rushing to the door, I open it to find the man from the dress blues to be standing in front of me with a giant red sack tossed over his shoulder.

He’s tall, his hair is super short on the sides and barely spikes in the front. It’s dark like his eyes. He is wearing a black hoodie with USMC in red letters across the chest and jeans with black boots. I step back letting him enter.

“Sorry to come so late, when Mrs. Miller didn’t reply, I didn’t want to wake anyone but I didn’t want to leave a sack on the front door for anyone to come by and take.”

“It’s okay,” I tell him. “They are out cold. My sister isn’t a light sleeper, that was always Kyle.”

He laughs and butterflies flutter in my stomach. “Miller said you were funny. He said you were pretty, but he didn’t get close to explaining your sheer beauty.”

I have never been good at taking compliments so I do what I do best – make jokes. It’s my turn to laugh. “Better watch out Marine, you keep complimenting me and Keegan won’t see Mommy kissin’ Santa Claus but rather Aunt Tins.”

“Gorgeous, funny, loyal, hardworking, damn,” he mutters more to himself than to me. “Miller, you really were on point.”

“Huh?” I ask as I close the door behind him after he steps down the entryway.

“Miller, he wanted to fix us up. Always askin’ me to come home with him on leave to meet his spunky sister-in-law.”

Locking the door behind him, I don’t know what to say. When I turn around to move down the small hallway in the entrance, I stop looking up at him.

“Not trying to upset you, or make you nervous.” He tells me.

I don’t know what to say. He seems to read this in me. “You don’t upset me.” He does make me nervous but not for the reasons he thinks. I can’t tell him, I’m nervous because I would love nothing more than to press my lips to his.

“Tinsley, I heard a lot about you from Miller. The life I live as a Marine is hard. It’s lonely. Miller always said I needed to not be married to my career because I would find my time up and I would find it alone. Kyle wasn’t just one of my Marines. He was my friend. Meeting you, something inside me came alive that’s been dead for as long as I can remember. Miller, he asked me to look out for his family including you.”

“We were close, Kyle and I.” I explain as I feel so many emotions. “Kyle respected you, Gunny Causely. He also spoke of you and considered you a friend.” We unpack the gifts while continuing to talk.

“Means a lot you would say that. Thank you. My name is Ryan. I’m only Gunny if you got a high and tight hair cut, or as a female with long hair, pulled back in a bun, and some combat boots.”

“Well, Merry Christmas Eve, Ryan.” I smile and he smiles. The moment he does his face softens and lightens in a way that has my heart thumping wildly.

It feels like some crazy thing out of one of my romance novels because with all the things going on and the fact that this man is a perfect stranger, I find myself wanting to kiss him.

Looking up at the ceiling, I think about Kyle watching over us. Then I look back to his friend as he unpacks one wrapped gift after another.

I wish Kyle was here instead of these gifts. He died training to serve his country. He died for duty. Everything happens for a reason.

Kyle can’t make new memories with us, but he’ll never be forgotten.

I don’t know Ryan Causely, but he will never be forgotten by our family either. So while the stranger finishes I go to the kitchen and make him some coffee.

With a hot mug of coffee in one hand and cookies in the other, I come back to find him standing in front of the tree.

“Alright Santa, gotta have your snack.” I let out a small laugh as I hand him the cookies and coffee. “Make sure you eat them all, but one bite, and leave the crumbs please.”

Ryan Causely smiles at me a full out, show off those pearly whites, smile. He does as instructed before sitting on the couch.

There is this comfort in being around him I have never had before. “We can’t thank you enough,” I say sitting on the couch beside him.

“Tell me about you,” he asks and I feel the rumble of his voice deep in my belly.

“Not much to tell.”

“You love animals,” he begins. “You style their hair, Kyle said.”

I laugh. “He makes it sound so glamorous. Yes, I have a few clients where they want their dog’s hair colored and styled, but mostly I spend the day wearing water and flea soap.”

“What made you go into pet grooming?”

“Growing up, Lindsey and I had this neighbor. They had a Golden Retriever. Honestly, the neighbors weren’t friendly and I still don’t know what the dog’s real name was. Lindsey and I named it Mittens because from far away it looked like the dog were gloves.”

He studies me, giving his full attention to my every word.

“Well, Mittens didn’t have on dog gloves. She was left outside all the time. No bath and in a dirt patch, her paws were covered in black mud. Lindsey and I would sneak over while they were at work and pet Mittens. Her fur was always matted. Eventually, we would take turns with school kid scissors cutting out the tangled clumps. In the winter, we snuck a blanket into her dog house so she would have something to keep her a little warmer in the snow. Mittens kind of grew up with us. In the summers we would take buckets of water and mom’s dish soap to clean her. When Lindsey and I earned money, we would split the cost of a bottle of flea shampoo when we were old enough to understand the dog had a serious problem.”

“It’s nice to see someone who wants to make a difference in the world.”

His words are genuine and I don’t know how to take the praise. “I don’t think cleaning scruffy counts as making a difference in the world.”

Ryan leans forward cupping my chin in his hands to make me look at him. “Anyone who can see any living thing in need, make whatever sacrifice they can to better the situation is making a difference. Do not devalue what you do, Tinsley. Do not lesson the impact you have on everyone around you.”

I melt.

On Christmas Eve, in my sister’s living room, I fall for a man who ties up boots, straps on a weapon, and faces danger every day, but has a smile that gives life, warmth, and happiness in a pit of sorrow we have been living in.

Yes, I melt.

December 25^th

Christmas wishes do come true, even the drunk ones.

“Aunt Tinsley!” Keegan screeches waking me up. “You have a man on our couch!”

Blinking my eyes, I feel a rock hard body under me. My first instinct hits and I laugh.

Lindsey comes running into the living room not far behind Keegan. Her hair is up in a messy bun on the very top of her head and she has strays flying around framing her face.

“Ryan,” she says looking between the two of us.

“Mornin’ Lindsey,” he says with his baritone voice sending a rumble straight through my belly.

“Tinsley, kitchen,” she orders in that mom tone that tells me I’m going to be grounded.

“Merry Christmas, Keegan.” Ryan says as I slide off him. Ryan sits up and looks directly to my nephew. “We met a few weeks ago. I worked with your dad.”

“Gunny!” Keegan connects the dots and relaxes about the man on the couch. “Merry Christmas.”

My body cools as I stand making me want to crawl back on top of him like we apparently fell asleep on the couch after hours of just talking.

Keegan’s shock quickly wears off as his eyes hit the presents under the tree. The fact that I was curled up on the couch with a man is forgotten as my nephew hits the floor and immediately tears at the paper. I turn to grab my phone as two hands reach out to grab my hips pulling me back to the couch beside him.

With Ryan’s arm around my back casually resting his fingers on my hip, I take picture after picture of Keegan and Lindsey as they open presents.

“Okay Keegan,” Lindsey says, but looks at me. “You play with your gifts. I need Aunt Tins in the kitchen to help with some coffee before we do stockings.”

Getting up, I don’t feel anxious about telling my sister why there is a man on her couch. We round the corner into the kitchen and her eyes immediately go wide.

“Why?” She whisper yells, “Why is Ryan Causely asleep with you in his arms on my couch?”

“We spent the night talking.” I feel the smile fill my face before I can even try to stop it.

“Well, what else?” She searches my eyes for more. “Please tell me you did not hook up with Kyle’s friend on my couch.”

“No!” I gasp. “We talked, got to know each other. That’s it. We talked. We connected.”

She shakes her head. “I want you to be happy, Tins. I just ... I just ... I’m shocked that’s all.”

“I have you, Keegan, and my business. I’m happy Lindsey even without a man.”

“Life is better when you have love, companionship, and sex.” She whispers and laughs at the same time.

Ryan rounds the corner before I can reply. He searches the countertop and cabinets. “While I understand the need for explanation about last night. Your son is rather excited. I need a trash bag for the boxes as I open the toys.”

Lindsey gives Ryan a glare. “I like you Ryan. I know Kyle wanted you to meet Tins. You mess up, buddy, you have a sister to deal with. An angry, unpredictable, strength of a mother, sister to face!” She threatens and I can’t help but giggle.

“Last night, I shouldn’t have stayed. It wasn’t the gentlemen thing to do. We talked until early morning, then relaxed and fell asleep. My apologies for any disrespect. I was just getting to know Tinsley.”

Lindsey moves and at first I think it’s to the pantry to get a trash bag, but instead she wraps her arms around Ryan and hugs him.

“Thank you will never say enough for what you have done for my son. Thank you will never say enough for the friendship, leadership, and mentorship you gave my husband. Thank you just will never be enough Ryan, but it’s all I have. So thank you. And about last night, if you gave my sister a night to be herself and not worry about me, then thank you for that. There isn’t a gift I can give my sister greater than the chance to worry about herself for once instead of me and my son.”

The tears fall even as I try to hold them back. Ryan looks at me, his eyes are intense as he wraps one arm around my sister in comfort and takes the other to reach out and pull me to him. In his embrace, I relax. I let my emotions out while holding my sister and this man who has come from left field into our lives at just the right time.

For a few moments, Ryan lets us get it out. For a few moments, he is our strength so we can be weak. For a few moments, Lindsey and I allow him to shelter us from the storm and hold the weight of our world on his broad shoulders.

Lindsey is the first to step back. “Trash bag, on it.” She wipes her tears and rolls her shoulders back.

“Never met two women any stronger than the two in this room in my life.” Ryan says and I wrap both my arms around him and squeeze.

Pulling back, I look up to him. “Marine, you haven’t seen anything yet.” Releasing him, I flex both arms, “you should see us at the gym. We do yoga!”

The three of us laugh before Lindsey hands him a trash bag. She and I take an extra moment to dry our eyes, get some coffee, and simply breathe.

“We have some treasures from Santa left to handle, sister!” I tell Lindsey taking her by the hand back to the living room.

“I have it on good authority, one of the elves came and moved my gift to your mom into her stocking.” I look to my nephew, “so what do ya say we give her the giant sock to dig into?”

He smiles and jumps up to grab them. Stockings are always last, it’s family tradition. When Lindsey gets to the bottom of her stocking, she pulls out the box. On card stock, I printed a note to explain what she will find inside.

She reads it out loud as Keegan waits patiently to see what’s inside. “Every time a bell rings an angel gets their wings. May your special angel always be with you as you spread your unique love to everyone around you. I am honored to be your sister, Lindsey. I am blessed to call you my friend. While the loss will always last, beside you the world is a better place because of the woman you are.” Tears fall down her face and my own.

Lindsey comes over and I stand to hug her. After a few moments, we break apart and she lifts the necklace asking me to put it on her. Before I do, I take the angel pendant in my hand and turn it over to show her the details she no doubt missed.

“Mom and Dad’s initials are on each wing. Kyle’s are across the chest and the skirt flows out into a bell so that you make give angels their wings every time you jingle it and think of those we lost.” My voice cracks as my emotions are too much.

“Thank you, Tins,” my sister whispers before going to get my stocking for me to open my gifts.

Ryan pulls me to him on the couch and I find comfort in his embrace. “The Parker women were raised with heart, loyalty, beauty, and love. Tinsley, you are a treasure and a gift all your own.”

I look up to the man I barely know but yet I feel so connected to him it’s like we have been together our whole lives.

“Been to war, baby. Done shit. Unspeakable things. Know what Kyle had with Lindsey and Keegan. See something here in you I’ve never had before. Just gonna keep it real, I have no intention on letting go.”

I can only swallow down the lump building from such an emotional morning and nod my head. He releases me but stays with his body close and the heat is comforting.

Lindsey hands me my stocking. I get to the bottom it to find a small box from Lindsey.

The note on top has me eyeing her sternly. “Don’t be mad?” I ask reading her words out loud. “You wanna explain before I open the box?”

“No, I think you should definitely open the box and follow the instructions,” Lindsey smiles big but not at me, instead at Ryan.

Curious, I open the box to find instructions to text a phone number before going to the guest bedroom and changing into the clothing on the bed.

“Tins, don’t think ... just do,” she pleads. “For me, this once go with it.”

“What did you do?” I ask before Ryan leans down to whisper in my ear.

His breath sends chills down my body as it hits my neck. “Go with it, Tins. I promise it will be worth the surprise.”

We spent the night talking about childhoods, hopes, dreams, and everything in between. What surprise could my sister have that Ryan can be so confident about?

Deciding to go for it, I pick up my phone and send the text. I don’t wait as I go to the guest bedroom. Lindsey follows.

“How did Ryan end up sleeping on the couch?” She questions before I can even look at the box on the bed.

“You were asleep and I let him in to bring the gifts for Keegan. We talked about this in the kitchen already.”

“Did he tell you?”

I shake my head not sure what she’s talking about. “Again, Lindsey, we just talked regular stuff. We have a lot in common. Just spent the night getting to know each other. He was close with Kyle.”

“Yeah, they were very close. Six deployments together, well it tends to create a unique trust between people.”

“What was he not supposed to tell me?”

She laughs. It’s been so long since she’s easily let go, I hold onto this moment. “He’s your gift Tins.”

“What!” I shriek wondering if last night was some obligation for him.

“Calm down. When we went to Toys for Tots, Keegan grabbed the wrong list from my purse.”

Embarrassment floods me. “No, Lindsey, tell me this is a joke.”

“Kyle always talked about you. He always told me Ryan would be perfect for you. Yes, he’s older but he is a man who doesn’t settle in life just like you. When you want something you go for it – fearless.”

I sit on the bed and open the box. Inside are jeans, a long sleeve shirt, black leather boots, and one kick ass black leather jacket.

“Ryan saw the letter for a biker. Since he was already coming here for Keegan, he said he would give you a ride on his motorcycle if I made sure you had the right clothes. I never expected him to spend the night. The number you text was his.”

“I don’t know if I want to enjoy the ride or throttle you!”

“He trailered his Harley up here. Let’s not let it be a waste, sister.”

When I don’t move to get ready Lindsey pulls out the big guns. “Look, Kyle and I always talked about what we wanted for you in a partner. Ryan fits it. He has three years left in the Marines, then he will retire. He told Kyle it was time to focus on life outside of the military. He’s not some manwhore. He’s a good man who would be perfect for you. At least take the ride. Let this be about wishes granted and not opportunities lost. Don’t you think we’ve lost enough already?”

Ring the bell, Lindsey wins. I can’t fight the pull and I can’t fight her words. We have lost so much.

Life can pass you by or you can hang on for every curve and bump in the road finding ways to enjoy the ride.

I choose the ride ... at least to my house.

December 25^th

The gift in giving isn’t always for the receiver. Tinsley Parker is a gift to this giver and one I won’t let go of.

Vermont in the winter is cold. After Tinsley and Lindsey went to the guest room, I went to my truck, grabbed my bag before going inside to the bathroom to change. Now in jeans, a flannel, my leather jacket, and boots. I open the trailer to offload my Harley Davidson Heritage Softail. Settling my ass on the leather is like coming home every single time.

Just as I roll back onto the street and settle it down, Tinsley walks out looking sexy as hell in black jeans, a leather jacket, and knee-high boots. Her blonde hair is braided back and her face of an angel is timid but excited. Reaching behind me, I unclip the helmet I strapped to the bike for her.

“Merry Christmas, Tinsley Parker.” I smile.

“I was drunk. I wasn’t serious about the letter to Santa.” She tries to explain away what is her desire.

“Do you believe in miracles Tinsley? Because I do.”

She doesn’t answer. In fact, I think she is pissed more than anything. Instead of talking to me about this connection I know she feels between us, she takes the helmet, puts it on and climbs behind me like she’s done this a thousand times before.

With her hands at my waist, I don’t pull away. She gets impatient and leans forward, her breath coming down hot on my neck.

“I don’t know what the hell to think of you. We spend this crazy night together talking about everything from favorite board games to foods that turn us on. My sister and I drunkenly write some letter to Santa and suddenly my every fantasy sits on a Harley between my legs.”

“I take it you’re pissed?” I ask over the rumble of my bike.

“Yeah, I’m pissed. I won’t disappoint my sister because she is excited for me. So you will smile, pull away and we will ride to my house. From there, I will call my sister and explain that I got motorcycle sick. Then you can return here, load up your Harley, and ride back to where you came from.”

I should be angry. The way she’s talking to me, ordering me around, and downright dismissing me. I get it though. I shouldn’t have stayed last night. The plan was to offer her a ride.

Simple enough.

One little ride, then we both go our separate ways.

Except I didn’t plan to fall so hard so fast for this woman. Kyle always talked about her. I felt like I knew her long before I actually met her.

Life is full of chances, risks, and battles. This one somehow feels like the most important one I will ever win or lose.

Her hands rest casually on my sides as we pull away. She spouts off her address in my ear along with directions. Needing her close, I twist the throttle giving her just enough of a jolt to make her lean in.

Her front presses against my back and her hands wrap around my waist with my stomach muscles flexing from the contact.

We pull up to her townhouse. I reach out and squeeze her leg as a silent communication not to just jump off the bike.

“Ryan, you played me. You played me good. I’m too old for games. I’ve had a helluva year. I get you thought it would be nice to pity me and make a wish come true. You aren’t my wish come true so drive away and don’t look back.”

She pushes my hand off her leg and climbs off handing me her helmet. As she starts to walk away, I grab her wrist so she turns to look at me.

“This wasn’t a game. The moment you put your hand in mine, I felt alive for the first time. I wanted a chance to give you an experience that was for you. Kyle told me you always gave to Lindsey, your parents, Keegan, but never did for yourself. Getting to know you last night was a gift to me because there is not another woman stronger, wiser, and more beautiful inside and out then you. If you need time to get to know me, I’ll give you every spare moment I have. If you need time to see for yourself that this is not a game, I didn’t set you up, then baby hold the fuck on because I’m in it for the long haul. Seen death, experienced life, and I fuckin’ want love. Actions speak in my world so I’ll show you, Tinsley Parker. I’ll show you the man I am and the man I want to be. I’ll lay it all out for you to not only hear but see, the future we could have together if you would take a chance and give yourself this opportunity to have what Kyle and Lindsey had ... maybe even better.”

She blinks. She blinks again. “This is too much, too fast.” She pulls her wrist from me and I feel lost instantly.

“Spent months at a time in country after country where death is found at every turn. Until I met you, until I felt this connection I never thought about what kept me going over there. I always said it was fight mode. Now, though, this spark, this whatever it could become it is why I needed to come out of there alive. Before you, there was just me. I leave here today with my mind on the future. Just need you to give me the chance, baby.”

Deciding maybe I’ve pushed too hard, too fast, and for too much, I lift the helmet from behind me and hand it to her.

“My life is a ride. One full of bumpy roads, unmarked gravel, and twists before crazy turns. My life is being a Marine. This bike is my freedom. Never had someone with me in life or on this bike. The helmet is yours Tinsley. When you’re ready for another ride, you call me and I’ll make it happen.”

Tears fall from her face and I want nothing more than to wipe them from her eyes. She takes the helmet and I nod my head. As she walks away I feel the ache in my chest. Only when she is safely inside the door do I pull away.

It’s funny you never know you’re lonely until you finally feel what it is to have someone else around. I let myself think, hope, and wish for something more. Not having it, now I know what lonely is.

The future I could have is in her hands along with my war-scarred heart. I can only ride away and hope she handles it with care.

December 31^st

Tonight is about saying goodbye to a year full of loss and hello to hope for a new year full of possibility.

“Happy New Year’s Eve, Lindsey.” I tell my sister through the phone.

“Did you make it there?” She asks knowing I’ve been on the road to surprise Ryan.

“Yes, it was easy to find believe it or not. He lives in a cute cabin by a lake,” I tell her as I look ahead of me.

“Have fun, sister and don’t hold back. Life is too short.” Her last words remind me of everything we have lost and yet, we’re still standing.

“Love you, Linds.” I say before I click the phone off and toss it in my purse.

Ryan’s truck and motorcycle sit out front. He had duty last night where he had to be on base overnight. I drove through the night to get here a little after he was due to get off work.

He left me at home on Christmas Day like I requested. He returned to my sister’s and told her the truth rather than my lie. After a little time with Keegan, he loaded his bike and returned to his home. The next day, flowers arrived at my house with a note including his home phone number and a reminder I had his cell, along with another apology for the way things may have come across.

Lindsey also lit into me about missed opportunities and sabotaging something good. Since then Ryan and I have talked, video-chatted, texted, emailed, and gotten to know each other more. It’s been a week since he left and a week that I’ve been twisted in knots missing him.

Actions speak louder than words, so here I am ready to see what the future could be with this biker. With the helmet in my hand, I get out of my car and make my way to the front door.

After the third knock, Ryan answers the door. “Happy New Year!” I greet. “New year is a time for new beginnings and I want to begin this one with you.”

His eyes meet mine and blaze in surprise. I lift the helmet up as I bite my bottom lip appraising him.

He has no shoes on, a pair of loose athletic shorts that go to his knees, and no shirt. His chest is chiseled in muscles, his abs making a defined eight-pack and a tattoo on his ribs like exposing an American flag under his skin. He is sexy as sin and I crave this man in front of me.

“Tinsley,” he greets taking the helmet tossing it behind him so he can reach out and pull me to him.

His head drops, his lips press to mine and I melt. This is a man of honor, integrity, and bravery. He holds nothing back. The time is finally right in my life to have love, to have family, and to have a happily ever after of my own making.

Santa, brought me a biker and I am ready for the ride.

Valentine’s Day

“You and Ryan seem to be hitting it off, sister!” Lindsey smiles coyly at me from her desk where she stares at the roses Ryan sent to me.

“He makes me happy. It’s all so very new.” I tell her finding myself grinning just from thinking about Ryan. He is coming to visit next weekend. It’s hard with the distance, but we are making it work.

“Let’s see this year, your Christmas wish was, Santa, bring me a biker. What’ll it be next year?” She jokes.

“Who knows, maybe my letter next year will be Santa, bring me a diamond ring.”

“Nope,” Lindsey says seriously. “You aren’t a diamond rings, fancy things kind of girl. You both are all about family. I can see the letter now, Dear Santa ...bring me a baby!”

I gasp but with a huge smile on my face. When I asked for a biker who doesn’t hold back, I got that and more with Ryan Causley. If he has his way, we will be married in the spring and by Christmas maybe my wish will match my sister’s for me. After all, I never expected this year of heartache to end in love.

Who knows what next year will bring!

The End ... until next season!

About the Author

USA Today bestselling author Chelsea Camaron is a small town Carolina girl with a big imagination. She’s a wife and mom, chasing her dreams. She writes contemporary romance, erotic suspense, and psychological thrillers. She loves to write about blue-collar men who have real problems with a fictional twist. From mechanics to bikers to oil riggers to smokejumpers, bar owners, and beyond she loves a strong hero who works hard and plays harder.

Chelsea can be found on social media at:

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Other works by Chelsea Camaron

Love and Repair Series:

Crash and Burn

Restore My Heart

Salvaged

Full Throttle

Beyond Repair

Stalled

Box Set Available

Hellions Ride Series:

One Ride

Forever Ride

Merciless Ride

Eternal Ride

Innocent Ride

Simple Ride

Heated Ride

Ride with Me (Hellions MC and Ravage MC Duel with Ryan Michele)

Originals Ride

Final Ride

Roughneck Series:

Maverick

Heath

Lance

Box Set Available

Devil’s Due MC Series:

Serving My Soldier

Crossover

In The Red

Below The Line

Close The Tab

Day Of Reckoning

Paid In Full

Bottom Line

Stand Alone Reads:

Thrillers -  Stay

Romance – Moments In Time Anthology

Mother Trucker

Beer Goggles Anthology

Mrs. Claus Anthology

The following series are co-written

The Fire Inside Series:

(co-written by Theresa Marguerite Hewitt)

Kale

Regulators MC Series:

(co-written by Jessie Lane)

Ice

Hammer

Coal

Summer of Sin Series:

(co-written with Ripp Baker, Daryl Banner, Angelica Chase, MJ Fields, MX King)

Original Sin

Caldwell Brothers Series:

(co-written by USA Today Bestselling Author MJ Fields)

Hendrix

Morrison

Jagger

Stand Alone Romance:

(co-written with USA Today Bestselling Author MJ Fields)

Visibly Broken

Use Me

Ruthless Rebels MC Series:

(co-written with Ryan Michele)

Shamed

Scorned

Scarred

Schooled