I knew this day would come.

But I didn’t know it would be this soon.

I was hoping it would happen when I’m like thirtyish, experienced and mature enough to handle such a Machiavellian arrangement.

But I’m only twenty-one. I don’t even have a boyfriend yet. I haven’t even fallen in love or got my heart broken. Not even once. How can I accept this fate without feeling like I’m entering a prison cell?

I’m a pawn. A bargaining chip in my father’s political ambition.

My situation is straight out of the pages of those medieval romance books I used to read voraciously in my senior year in high school. What the hell made me think it was exciting and romantic for a lady to be married off to some duke or prince through a political or financial arrangement decided by the men in her family? I can’t believe I used to feel giddy thinking about the heroine resisting the super-alpha hero at first, but he’d wear her down with his adorably domineering ways and irresistible sensuality, and she’d fall in love with him even against her will. Then they’d live happily ever after, like a fairy tale.

Stupid fairy tales.

In real life and this century, an arranged marriage is no fairy tale. It’s a nightmare. A terrifying place to be in. At least, as far as I’m concerned. I’m a hopeless romantic. I want to marry the man I love. When I’m good and ready.

I’m not ready. Far from it.

“You’re asking me to marry a man I don’t love, Mom,” I cry, unable to contain my dismay. I’ve never raised my voice against my parents. They are the most important people in my life, and I’ve always respected them by bowing to their every wish. But for the first time, I find the courage to express my feelings strongly.

“Leigh, we need your support now more than ever. Help your father.”

But she’s not asking. She’s commanding me to marry their good friend, Bill Peyton. He is fifty, just a few years younger than Dad. I look at him like my second father. I care for him a great deal, yes, but not in the way a wife would care for her husband.

“But I don’t want to marry yet, Mom,” I try to contain my mounting hysteria. “I just graduated from college. I worked so hard to finish at the top of my class. I wanna do more, travel the world, have my masters, start a career of my own—“

“You can do all that as Bill’s wife,” she interrupts me as if I’m a whiny little girl saying no to a special treat. “He can even help you. You can take your masters, even your PhD right after the wedding, at whatever university you wish. He has a jet and regularly travels all over the world. Of course, he will more than likely take you with him every time. Bill’s going to give you all that you need, Leigh.”

“But—“

Mom grips my hands tightly in hers, her eyes intense. She will not be dissuaded, I can see. “You’re all we have. You’re our only child, the only one who can make your father’s dreams come true. You want him to be happy, don’t you?”

I want to say, “You’re being unfair, Mom,” but I don’t. When she puts it that way, she hits my weakest spot.

I do want my parents to be happy more than anything in this world. I want to repay the love and kindness they’ve showered over me all these years because aside from this matter, I’ve been their princess since I was a little girl. I’ve lived a life of privilege, a far cry from what I would have been had they not adopted me from that foster home when I was barely months old. They didn’t hide it from me. They told me the truth when I was old enough to understand, and I’ve always been grateful. I’ve never taken my good fortune for granted.

“Bill wants you so much he’s willing to put it all in a contract.”

I blink at my mother. “A contract?”

“Yes, to ensure you will be taken care of whatever happens in the future, your father and Bill have agreed that your marriage be put in a special contract. Bill is asking for a minimum of five years with you as his wife. Then you can decide to renew your vows and stay married for another five years, or for the rest of your lives if you both wish to. You’ll receive a generous settlement at the end of the contract, and you’ll never want for anything within the marriage, or after.”

My mother is beaming as if it’s the best arrangement in the world. But I’m just holding on to my lunch. I feel disgusted by it all I want to retch. Now I understand how my older cousins had felt when they were put in a similar situation.

“And in exchange?”

“He will support your father in whatever capacity he has. If you stay with Bill for ten years, then your father has a shot at the White House.”

There. The end game.

“What if Bill changes his mind along the way?”

“That’s why we have a contract.”

I stare at my mother helplessly. There’s no guilt in her eyes, only resolve. I can’t believe we are even having this conversation. It’s surreal. But it’s real, alright.

“We need you, Leigh. This is a win-win for all of us. For Bill, for your father, for you and me. Your future will be secure with Bill.”

As if the only thing that can secure my future is money. She’s forgotten about love, trust and passion, the most essential qualities of marriage.

How can I trust a man who’s buying me from my parents? He doesn’t even try to woo me on his own merits as a man. He’s using his money and power to take what he wants regardless of my feelings.

“What about the other contributors? Surely Uncle Jack and Uncle Tim will help Dad,” I ask, desperate for an escape.

“There’s no guarantee of the other contributors’ continued support. You know how fickle politics is. Loyalties can change in a blink. Your uncles will support your father, of course, but we need more funding. Bill can provide that. He’s offering a pledge of financial support for your dad, bound by an airtight contract. We must use this, Leigh,” she points to her temple, “more than this.” She puts her palm over her heart.

“So, you’re selling your daughter for political funding,” I say in withering defiance, defeat engulfing me.

Mom’s stare turns to steel. “Don’t be crude,” she snaps.

But her eyes quickly soften. She smiles, her eyes now imploring. I can see through her. It’s a ploy to blackmail me emotionally. She knows me too well. “Honey, Bill is a great catch. A lot of women would kill to marry that man.”

“I’m not most women.”

She ignores me. In her mind, it’s already a done deal. “And he looks dashing, yes? More importantly, he loves you.”

“Really?” I manage a hoarse laugh through the lump in my throat. “I don’t believe that even for a moment, Mom. I know something else but not love. Never love. This cannot be love.”

She frames my face with her palms. “Love can be learned, honey. If you respect the man, love will quickly grow. Bill cares for us. He’s willing to help us all the way. He’s a good man, Leigh.”

I pull away from my mother’s touch. She used to be my greatest source of strength and comfort. Now she’s pushing me toward a future of uncertainties, and I just know, loneliness. A loneliness that I will hide behind calculated smiles and practiced grace. But do I really have a choice? I’m a Spencer. Our name is a political dynasty. My uncles have been walking the hallowed halls of the Capitol Hill since I came to know what the Spencer name represents in this country. Almost all my cousins have married for political alliances. What makes me different?

I’m not a Spencer by blood. But I’m a Spencer everywhere else.

“If Bill really wants to help Dad, he will do so without any condition.”

“Your father and I will be able to sleep peacefully at night knowing you’re being taken care of by a man like Bill.”

I want to believe her, but I know it’s all for their benefit, not mine. “Because he’s rich? Is that all you care about?”

“I have to admit, that’s a comforting thought. Bill is our friend, and we know he’ll treat you right. He won’t ever risk losing your father’s friendship.”

I fall silent, lost for words.

“And you won’t risk disappointing your father, would you, Leigh? He has so much to think about, so much to do. Let’s make things easier and lighter for him if we can. We owe him.”

That’s the nail in my coffin.

She really meant to say I owe them. It’s the truth. I really do. I only wish I wouldn’t have to pay them back for having their love, for giving me this life.

But I must.

It’s my turn to serve the family.