I had to take another shower, but it was worth it. Sebastian was sitting at the dining table with a huge smile on his face.
“I warmed up your food,” he said.
“That’s so thoughtful of you.”
“I’m a thoughtful kinda guy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, I was starving before you decided to violate me.”
He shook his head and gave me a cocky grin. “I didn’t hear you complaining; it was actually quite the opposite.”
I laughed. “I never turn down a good time.”
“How was your day?”
“It was great. I’m so looking forward to Colorado and spending some time alone with you,” I stated, taking a bite of chicken.
“About that…I talked to Julia today and she’s having some issues with Christian.”
“Oh wow, what’s going on?”
He sighed. “I guess he’s been talking back and not listening to her or his teachers. She thinks it might be from all the changes in the last year.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that is a lot for a kid to take in.”
“She suggested that we bring Christian with us to Colorado and I said yes. I think it would be good for us. I want him to get to know you better and vice versa.”
“Oh,” I replied.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Seriously? You know that bullshit isn’t going to work with me.”
“I don’t want to argue; let’s just drop it.”
“No. You not telling me is going to make us fight. We’ve made so much progress, Ysa, just tell me what’s up.”
“Fine.” I resigned. “I’m a little taken back and caught off guard with Christian coming to Colorado, not that I don’t want to spend time with him and get to know him. I just thought I would have been part of the decision-making process…or at least been asked how I felt about it.”
He winced. “I’m sorry, I had no idea. I thought you wouldn’t have had a problem with it.”
“I don’t. I have a problem that you didn’t include me, and you and Julia decided for us. That’s all. It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged. “It’s already done.”
“I can call—”
“No! Don’t you dare! Then I’ll just be the bitch and she will hate me even more.”
“Julia doesn’t hate you.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Sebastian…she hates me and she has every right to.”
He cocked his head to the side. “You know, Ysabelle, the only person that hates you for what happened…is you.”
I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn’t because he was right. I did hate myself. I blamed myself for hurting her and breaking up his family. It didn’t matter how many times he told me that it would have happened regardless. I couldn’t change the fact that I fell in love with a married man. And all those thoughts lead right back to my other clients.
How many marriages had I broken up? How many men had fallen in love with me? How many women had I hurt?
I held so much guilt for not only Julia but for all the other women’s marriages I destroyed. It never bothered me before, and I never thought about it until after I left.
That was the part of VIP I hated.
To fuck with no remorse.
With no heart.
With no conscience.
It ate at me…
“I want to include you in everything and I apologize if you feel like I didn’t, that wasn’t my intention. I was absorbed and concerned with the behavior issues of my son, as any parent would. I miss him so much and to get to spend Christmas with two of the most important people in my life…seemed perfect,” he acknowledged.
He always had a way with words to make me feel at ease and safe. Christian was his only child and I knew he gave up a lot for me by moving. I wanted to get to know his son, but I had no clue what to do with a kid. It scared me to realize that they were a packaged deal. He was a father…I didn’t just break up a marriage.
I broke up a home.
“What are you thinking, Ysa? It’s written all over your face, your mind is spinning.”
I smiled. “It doesn’t matter. So…” I clapped my hands together. “Christian, tell me everything I need to know. Should I go buy toys or something? I mean, does he eat special foods?”
He chuckled, trying to hide the disappoint he felt from me not sharing. I couldn’t. He would want to make it better.
Maybe I wanted to punish myself…
“Christian is an amazing kid. You’re going to love him and I know he’s going to love you.”