Caroline
(Earlier that afternoon)
I walked by Shower & Shelter that afternoon just so I could make sure I knew exactly where to go once I went back for the opening that evening. I almost went inside, but before I could, I made eye contact with a girl who was standing inside, and she smiled at me, which caused me to change my mind.
I recognized her from the S&S documentary, and knew she was the artist who was showing her collection that evening. She seemed friendly on the show, but I hadn't expected her to be standing there when I walked by, and I felt a little intimidated. Also, I didn't want to meet any of those people before I knew for sure what was going on with Theo. So, I gave her a quick smile through the window and pretended that I had no intention of going into the gallery.
I had never been to New York before, but I didn't have the time or desire to try to fit in anything touristy before going to the gallery that night. The Statue of Liberty would have to wait. I looked around in a few shops before going back to my hotel to get dressed. I didn't venture far.
I brought several outfits with me, but I settled on some leather-like dressy tights and a dainty, lightweight floral blouse. As part owner of a fish market, I didn't necessarily have my finger on the pulse of the fashion industry, but all of the young saleswomen at the mall agreed that this was one of the better outfits I tried on. I wore gold sandals that were comfortable but had a little bit of a heel. I even bought a set of bracelets that afternoon while I was shopping because I knew they would go with the outfit. The opening wasn't until 7:30pm, so I decided to just hang out in my room and take my time getting ready.
I ordered room service for dinner. I was too nervous to be hungry, but I knew I needed to eat something, so I ordered a cheese quesadilla with a Sprite off the kids' menu and managed to get down a few bites of it.
Sometimes, I had the tendency to dream up an exact scenario of how an upcoming situation in my life will play out. I had walked by the gallery earlier that day, and my newfound knowledge of what it looked like aided my ability to daydream. I had a whole scene dreamed up in my head about walking in and seeing Theo in the corner of the gallery. I pictured the way we would walk into each other's arms.
My imaginings could not have been further from the truth. The event was much bigger and more chaotic than I expected. It was packed from wall-to-wall, and I didn't even see Theo at all for the first twenty minutes I was there.
By the time I managed to find him, he was surrounded by people and in the middle of a conversation. I didn't remember knowing him as an adult, but I had seen him in the film, and I knew him in my heart. I knew it was Theo, even from a distance.
I pretended to look at art, but I kept stealing glances at him. He was the same person from the library, only now he was a man instead of a boy. I didn't expect the flood of emotions that seeing him stirred inside me. He left me breathless, and that was from way across the room.
I watched as he laughed and talked with the confidence of a man who owned the place. With each passing moment, I felt less and less secure with my decision to try to approach him on such a busy night.
I looked his way at one point and saw him talking to Zoe. She looked so calm and easy talking to Theo, and I watched them, thinking what a big ball of nerves I would seem like compared to her if I went over there. I reluctantly decided to just go back to the hotel and send him a text.
I was in the restroom a little while later when he called me back, and eventually we connected.
It was a shock to my senses to hear his voice come over the phone, and it was especially overwhelming that he seemed so relieved to hear from me. I could hear the true, genuine excitement in the tone of his voice, and it made my heart pound with happiness.
One of the first things I told him was that I didn't remember him as an adult. I told him I didn't remember him coming to Florida or that we had even reconnected as adults.
"When did you wake up, Caroline? When did this happen? I can't believe this news. Are you okay? What do the doctors say? I told them you were gonna wake up. I knew it."
I was sitting on the foot of my hotel bed, and I smiled at the way Theo spoke with such sweet excitement.
"Have they told you everything that happened?" he added.
I didn't know what question to answer first, so I just went with the one he asked last. "I think so," I said. "My family has done a good job of filling me in on what happened. They said you didn’t remember the accident either, but that a man had seen everything and called for help."
"Yep," Theo said.
"Mom said the other car crossed the center line," I added. I felt terrible that I had been the one driving, and the only thing that made it better was that the man had testified that I was not at fault.
"I don't know how many times I've had to ask for forgiveness for my feelings about that guy who crossed the line," Theo said. He spoke in a sincere, measured tone almost as if he was in a daze. "I thought they had taken you from me."
"I'm so sorry about not remembering everything," I said. "It's almost like I know some things exist in my heart in regards to you, I just can't access them. I watched your movie and you told a few stories that I felt like I knew more details about. It was weird."
"I'm just glad you're awake. You mentioned that you watched the film. When did you wake up, Caroline? How long have you been awake?"
"Three months," I said. It seemed like a long period of time when I said it, but honestly, I had been so out-of-it that the time passed in what seemed like a blur.
"Three months? I thought you were gonna say three minutes. Have you been awake for three months? Did your mom try to call me? I want to see you. Where are you? Can I please come? Are you up for that?"
"My mom told me you wanted me to call, but I needed to make sure I was going to be okay first. I had a lot of issues first coming out of it."
"I guess you did. I wish you had told me. I could have helped in some way. I could've at least made sure you had the best therapists."
"I have some good ones," I said. "Everybody keeps saying what a miracle it is that I'm progressing so quickly."
"It's a miracle that you're awake," he said. "The doctors basically promised us that the best case scenario for you would be…" Theo hesitated as if reluctant to finish his sentence.
"I know. My mom told me everybody thought I was going to be a vegetable."
"I knew you weren't," he said. "I can't get over that you've been awake for three months."
"I watched your Netflix special three times," I said. (The truth was that it might have been more like five or six, but I had been in a haze during my recovery, so I counted it as three.)
"Why didn't you call me?"
"I had to make sure I was all right." I paused for second but then continued before he could say anything. "Plus I had to work up the nerve. It's intimidating getting back into the world again after you've been gone for so long. People have moved on with their lives, you know?"
"By people do you mean me? Because I haven't moved on with my life, Caroline."
I thought about seeing him at the gallery earlier. He was smiling and surrounded by a group of New York's trendiest people who head been fully functioning as members of society for the last year.
"Sure you have," I said, sounding sweet and nonchalant. "Everybody does. People move on. Mom said the doctors basically told you guys it was never going to happen with me."
"Yes they did," Theo said. "But I knew it. I really did."
"Do you have anyone?" I asked.
I came out and asked the question in what was maybe a too-direct manner because I just couldn't contain my curiosity any longer.
"Do I have anyone?" He repeated the question as if he couldn’t comprehend the meaning of it. "Is that what you said?"
I was quiet for a second or two, feeling embarrassed before I worked up the nerve to own up to my question. "Yes," I said. "Do you?"
"Do I what?" he asked. There was a smile in his voice, and I could tell he enjoyed making me ask the question again.
"Do you have another lady?" I asked tentatively. Just the sheer asking of the question caused a warm sensation in my abdomen. I was glad he couldn't see my face because I turned red and visibly cringed waiting for his answer.
"No, Caroline, I do not have another lady," he said slowly. "Is there a reason you're asking? Do you have a crush on me or something?"
My heart pounded at his question. "I think so," I said. I was so breathless with anticipation that it was all I could do to manage three words.
"I guess maybe we should arrange a meeting," he said.
"I'd like that," I replied.
"Just so you know, the last time we arranged a meeting, it went really well. Everything except the accident, I mean. I'm talking about you and me, me and you. I know you don't remember, so I'll just be honest with you; it went really well. We pretty much love each other."
I laughed at his sweetness. He had a quiet, easy confidence about him. "I'm prone to believe you," I said. "Because my parents confirm that story. They said you liked me pretty good and that I liked you back."
"They were right."
"The doctors say I still might get back some of the memories I'm missing."
"It doesn't matter," he said. "We'll make new ones. All that matters is that you're awake. How's your body—your leg and your shoulder?"
"I'm getting there," I said. "I've still got a little limp. Not much of one, but I rely on my right leg a little. I'm working it out, though."
Theo said a couple of sentences in French, and I just sat there and listened to him. "I can't wait to see you," he added in English after he finished the statement in French.
"You might have and you didn't even know it," I said. I let out a little giggle at the feeling of anticipation I got from giving him a clue to my whereabouts.
"I might have what?"
"You might have seen me," I said.
"How?"
"I stopped by the gallery," I said. "But there was an art show, and it was packed in there."
"Tonight? Tonight's art show? My gallery, Caroline? Did you come to my gallery? What are you saying?"
I couldn't stop myself from grinning. "Yes, tonight," I said. "I wasn't trying to stalk you or anything. I was planning on talking to you; it's just that it was so packed. I got a little overwhelmed." I waited for Theo to respond, but only heard about five or six seconds of silence.
"Theo?"
"Caroline, you're talking like you're in New York. Are you okay? Are you just waking up? Is your mom there with you?"
I let out a laugh. "I am in New York, Theo. I saw you tonight. At least I'm almost sure it was you. I woke up three months, ago. My mom told me you wanted to hear from me, she told me everything that happened from the weekend when you came to Florida, at least what she knew of it. But I had to make sure I was going to be able to function. I waited until I was ready to travel. I am in New York. I'm staying right down the street from your collective. "
I heard rustling noises on the other end of the phone like Theo was moving around.
"Are you there?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm here," he said. "I was in my apartment, and now I'm getting back in the elevator."
"Why are you getting on the elevator?" I asked feeling my heart began to buzz.
"Because I'm relatively sure you're not on the sixteenth floor of my building right now, so I have no choice but to head downstairs."
I smiled uncontrollably. "How are you gonna know where I am?" I asked, looking around my hotel room."
"You have to tell me. Where are you?"
"In my hotel room," I said.
"In New York City, Caroline?"
"Yes. And I'm close to your gallery. I was just over there, but you were so busy that I—"
"Caroline, if you're not at my gallery right now, then are your feet taking you toward it?"
"You mean currently?" I asked. I peered down at the carpeted floor of my hotel room.
"Yes, currently," he said. "Are your feet taking you toward me right now?"
"Not yet, no. Should they be?"