Tess
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
I glanced up from my book and saw the man again. I had noticed him at least a couple of times over the last few days. He moved closer. He wore a suit and tie, but he pulled at his collar as if he were uncomfortable in it.
He sat forward on his stool and shifted it closer, and his Hershey-brown gaze held mine. He pushed up the spine of the book, and his brows rose.
“Nora Roberts? Isn’t that a little old for a…?” He waited for me to answer.
“Ten, and no.” I glanced around the room. “When you grow up here, mister, nothing is left to the imagination.”
He smiled, and his mouth rose higher on one side. His hair was a little longer than most of the men in here, but it was styled as if each strand had its own place. “Fair enough.”
I waited for him to leave, but he unbuttoned his jacket and made himself comfortable. I went back to reading then felt his eyes on me again. I looked up to find him smiling, as if waiting for me to answer something I missed.
“What?”
“You never answered my question.”
Huh?
“What’s your name?”
I studied him for a beat before I finally let my guard down. “Tess.”
“Nice to meet you, Tess. I’m Clark.”
“You wearin’ Spandex under your suit?”
He paused before he broke into a husky laugh, which immediately put me more at ease. “Yes. Is it showing?”
“You may want to fix your collar.”
He tugged at it dramatically. “Better?”
“It’ll do.”
“Clark Anderson?” , the receptionist, called in our direction. “We’re ready for you.”
My stomach sank and reality came crashing down when I remembered he had an appointment at the house. He must have picked up on my mood, because he frowned before he rose and fastened his coat.
“Have a nice day, Tess.”
“Yeah.” I broke open my book and sank back into a fantasy world where everything was okay.
The door opened, and there he stood, handsome as ever. He smiled at me and leaned against the doorframe. I never thought I’d be back in this position again.
“Clark.”
“Welcome home, Tessa.”
His smirk rose on the one side as his gaze dragged down my front then snapped back up to my face. He looked smug, as always.
“Guess I won the bet.” He opened the door for me to walk through. His chest was a little smaller than I remembered, and his arms had lost a little of their sexy curve. “About time you finally listened to me.”
I rolled my eyes and shifted the heavy bag over my shoulder. “I’m not staying for long.”
“You’re not leaving again.” He grabbed my wrist and turned me to face him. His expression darkened. “I’ll make this work.”
My insides twisted. There was a time when I would have sold my soul for him to utter those words to me, but now…
“I’ve heard your empty promises before.” I eyed his hand, and after a beat, he let go. “You made your choice.”
“It’s not like that…” His voice trailed off when he saw a woman move forward to block me. “Felicia, look who came home.”
My mother’s face contorted with hate, as it did whenever we were in the same room. Her hands landed on her slim waist wrapped in a velvet corset and a gray silk robe that flowed about her with feather-like softness as she walked. This was the expected dress in the house—lingerie and heels. My mother was stunning and knew it. Everyone said we were sisters, and she’d reply, “She’s older.”
“You need money?”
There’s my loving mother.
“Felicia.” Clark cleared his throat and nodded at two men who stood within earshot.
I saw her pull her mask down, and her tone came out a little less harsh.
“If you’re back, you work as one of the girls. I already have a shitty receptionist, and I don’t need another.”
I hid my sudden nerves. I once worked the front desk but was soon pulled onto the stage. Whenever there was talk about me working as “one of the girls,” I nearly flipped the fuck out. I promised I’d never lower myself to my mother’s level. No one was allowed to touch me on stage, and I felt safe, so now…my hand flew to my stomach as it took a dive.
When I started to speak, she shot me a look, and I swallowed my words. Now wasn’t the time for this. Besides, the men were approaching us.
“Work or leave. Your choice, Tessa.”
I cringed whenever she used my full name, but at this point, I had thirty-five cents and maybe some lint in my pocket. What was I supposed to do? Plus, I needed to know what Clark had on Trigger.
“Fine,” I hissed, and Clark flinched. “I’m going to shower.”
My mother dismissed me when she greeted the men, linking her arms with theirs to steer them away from me. Clark made a move to get in front of me, but I dodged and left him to deal with his new clients.
I was shocked to find my room was the same as I had left it, empty and over the top like the rest of the house. The walls were swathed in red velvet that matched the drapes and canopy. The black bedspread was satin and had fancy buttons that dimpled the fabric to give it a pillow-like effect. A shag rug lay at the foot of the bed where I stood feeling unbelievably lonely.
I dropped my bag and sat on the edge of the mattress. The idea of going backward in my life scared the shit out of me, but there I was, standing in the very spot I promised I wouldn’t be again. This place had broken me more than once. I could only imagine what it would do this time around.
Laughter drew me out to the balcony. I saw Clark with his arm around my mother’s waist as they showed the guests the pool, and then they moved off to where I knew there were underground personal hot tubs reserved for the VIPs.
I rested my arms on the marble rail and let my mind wander.
It all started out with warm smiles and conversations that made me incredibly happy and sometimes made me blush. He often came into my room after dark. He would close the door and sit on the edge of my bed and pay me compliments. He was such a gentleman then.
“You have such pretty eyes, Tessa. They’re like little gumdrops with a sugar coating.” His hand would gently brush over mine. He would talk to me about TV shows or music. He would ask questions and listen to my replies like he was really interested in what I had to say. He usually stayed about an hour, and as he left, he would always turn and repeat the same words as he went out the door. “I love that we have secrets, Tessa. Secrets mean we’re close, and I want to stay close to you.”
I craved attention from him, and maybe I knew deep down inside that it wasn’t right to have a much older man as a friend, but I didn’t care. The world I lived in was all about sex, and had been from day one. I knew a lot for my age, and I wasn’t stupid, but he wasn’t like the rest of the people here.
I wasn’t wrong at the beginning. I never thought how it might look. All I cared about was that this man was paying attention to me. Finally, for once in my life, someone cared about me.
When I focused on my surroundings again, I caught Clark staring at me. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and turned to leave when I heard my mother snicker at him to focus on her.
He made his choice a long time ago. I was just too stupid to see it.
The hot water pounded against my skin as I washed away the grime from the Greyhound bus. Desert dirt swirled around my feet before it flowed into the drain, leaving me behind. I moved my fingers around my ribs and felt how sore they were, then probed my lower stomach, which hurt like crazy too. Blue and yellow still marred my flesh, and I wondered how long it would take for it to go away. Everything was so fucked up…what the hell happened? My throat constricted, and my eyes prickled.
“No.” I pressed my hands against the cool tile and forced my head anywhere but there. Trigger’s wild eyes flashed in front of me, and my guts twisted.
“Stop.” I breathed through the tears to control my emotions.
Just as I was about to open the door to my bedroom, I heard another door shut.
“Hello?” I tightened the towel around my chest. “Mom? Rachel?”
Nothing.
I stepped into the room and glanced around. It appeared to be empty. I needed to remember the number one rule of the house. If you weren’t entertaining, you locked the door to your bedroom.
With the remote in my hand, I turned on some music to help drown out my thoughts. Chris Stapleton’s “Fire Away” softly flowed throughout the room, easing the nerves that had attacked my stomach.
Suddenly, I honed in on a dark blue corset with black ribbon and lace that was laid out on my bed along with a pair of heels. So, I had heard an intruder.
“Shit.” I ran my hand along the garter clips then noticed my jeans and tank top were missing. I whirled around to see my Chuck Taylors were gone too. “No!” I swiped my bare foot under my bed and caught the strap to my bag that I had slipped under there earlier. Tugging it free, I clung to it as I searched for a safe place to keep it. My hand cupped the heavy grip through the fabric, and I hoped to God the safety was on. I pulled on the armoire and freed it from the wall and peeled back the paneling. My secret place. When I was younger, I found this little space when the painters were working on my room. I used to hide all my books and cash there. My bag fit perfectly inside, along with my beloved camera.
I hated this place.
I glanced in the mirror one last time and recognized my worst nightmare. I had become my mother. I cringed and closed my eyes. This was only temporary. I tried to use my fingers to soothe the achy spots, but the bone inlay of the corset didn’t help.
Draping the cool silk robe along my arms, it rested around mid-thigh and flowed around me like a cape. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone came looking for me. Better to save face now than look like I was hiding.
I shook off my nerves and headed downstairs.
***
Trigger
Two weeks later
Radiohead pounded through the slaughter room. The beat vibrated through the bottoms of my feet, up my legs, and filled the dark space inside my chest.
The three men who sat across from me had been stripped of their clothes and sat naked in a line. Sweat dripped from their foreheads and settled along their brows.
“Choose.” The word eased off my lips.
The first man shook as he glanced at his options. His skinny fingers skimmed over the lineup of weapons.
In front of them were a hunting knife, pliers, bleach, a gun, and a pair of brass knuckles.
He tapped the gun and closed his eyes.
I raised the pistol and blew a hole in the center of his face.
One down.
The second started to cry. His chest pumped in fear, and his hand rubbed the side of his head.
“You had your chance to leave, but you didn’t.” I placed the gun back in the lineup and sat back, waiting to see what he wanted. I couldn’t care less. I was bored and wanted to feel something, but like the last few weeks, I felt nothing. “Choose.”
“And if I don’t?” he challenged as his bloodshot eyes searched the room for a way out.
“Then I do.”
He knew better and looked over at his friend, who was in total shock.
“Fuck! Gun, the gun!”
I rolled my eyes and wished Brick hadn’t suggested it at the last minute. I slid the weapon over in front of him. He looked up at me, confused.
“You do it.”
“Me?”
“Five, four…” I started to count.
“This shit for real?” He looked at Brick, then Morgan, who both were behind me.
“Three, two, one.” I snatched the gun away. “Now I choose.”
With a flick of my wrist, I flung the gun off the table and rammed the knife into his neck. I turned and used my momentum to kick the last guy’s hand away from the brass knuckles. He screamed but stayed put as Brick held his gun to his cheek.
I twisted the blade into his jugular and felt it tear. He slumped in his seat, and I released him and turned back to the last pathetic excuse for a man.
I shoved the table out from between us and leaned down with my hands on the armrests. Hovering just above his shaky head, I waited for him to look me in the eye.
“Where’s Mateo?”
His eyes closed as he mumbled a prayer.
Enough of this shit!
I snatched Brick’s gun and shot the asshole in the thigh. He screamed, and I grabbed his sweaty head and yanked it back to look at me.
“Where’s Mateo?”
“Ah!” he shouted, but I saw he was close to the edge.
“Matching set it is, then.” I shot the other thigh.
He bucked and tried to slide off his seat, but my fingers found the gaping hole and dug deep.
“You like to fuck with me? Allow me to repay the favor.” I fished around and felt bone fragments.
“Him and Tiago!” He huffed between screams. “They are hiding up north somewhere.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know!” He stared up at me, the skin around his mouth growing paler as the seconds ticked by. His eyes became dull, and I saw his soul packing up its shit to leave.
Fuck.
“Why did you stay behind?”
He squinted as he tried to form a thought. “They’re not done with her yet.”
I heard Brick shift his weight at the mention of her.
“Fine.” I rose to my feet then pointed the gun at his head and shot him in the mouth. Blood drained from another hole in his body.
Silence fell. The only things screaming were the demons inside my head. My anger rose rapidly.
“Jace!” I barked. “Clean this shit up.”
He and the newest prospect, Rich, started to push the human waste down the industrial drain with a shovel.
Blood dripped from the tips of my hair and ran down my face. I grabbed the razor we used to skin the heads and moved over to the mirror. I gathered the hair in the center of my head and lifted it up then buzzed the sides. I left the mohawk long.
Better.
I flipped my hair out of my face and spun around to face my men. They seemed unsure what to think.
“Like the new look.” Rail said, trying to break the tension.
Gus nodded in agreement, but I caught him glance to where Morgan stood off to his side.
“Fuck, I would give my left nut to have Tess back,” Rail muttered to Brick.
Brick remained silent, which was good, as I was moments from flipping my fuck switch.
I grabbed a bottle of whiskey on my way out and stuck it in my saddlebag before I kicked my bike to start the engine. The air was cold and whipped through my hoodie as the smell of the rain to come made memories come thick and fast about the last time it poured.
Her lips shivered, but her eyes told me she had a lot more fight in her.
“You’re cold.
“I’m fine.” She pulled the joint from my lips.
I shook that thought from my head and turned down a side street. I cut the engine and found Mud outside his surf shop.
“Evening.” He grinned when he saw the bottle dangling from my fingers. “You want to keep going?”
I nodded and removed my hoodie and tossed it on the table, but carefully laid my cut on the leather couch away from the mess.
He motioned for me to take the chair. I flopped back and looked up at the naked posters that littered the ceiling.
Mud lit a joint before he spoke. “This new?” He pointed at his head.
I nodded.
“You want a glass?”
I wiggled the cap off with one hand and drank the neck before I set it aside. Mud huffed with a grin, and smoke poured out of the corners of his mouth. He tapped his phone, and played through shitty speakers. I eyed him, curious if it was meant for me, but he just clicked the machine on and went to work on my pec.
I focused all my energy on the needle that drilled tiny pinpricks into my flesh, but sadly, it didn’t last long. The pain subsided, and I was left with my demons gnawing on my memories.
Nolan was nowhere to be found.