Chapter Fifteen
Daisy
It took me longer to get out of bed than usual, too wired to sleep. After Mr. Langston left me last night, I’d spent the better part of an hour in the bathroom, cleaning myself up, taking a shower, and staring at myself.
I felt different. Not necessarily a woman or even more mature or grown up. Experienced? Enlightened? I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It certainly wasn’t loved. I’d never felt more alone in my life.
But I hadn’t felt used. Alone, but not used by Mr. Langston.
My body hurt. There was no denying that. The bruises were already forming on my wrists from where I’d yanked at the cuffs, and my muscles ached with every step that I took.
Even more terrifying, there was an ache on the inside. Part of me wasn’t sure I’d survive another night of that, and another part of me craved it again.
I splashed some cold water on my face and fingered the diamonds around my neck. They were so pretty. So delicate. The nicest and most expensive thing that I’d ever worn. It also made me feel like a pet, but then, that was the point, wasn’t it?
I did my research, knew the role meant for me to play now. It was one of the hardest things that I’d ever read and certainly one of the most confusing. There were elements of intimacy, and how could there not with the actions being played out, but the seduction and eroticism? Women, couples, enjoyed this kind of play, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it. At least, not until I got a taste. There was fear, but it was only on my end. From my experiences. Otherwise, maybe it wouldn’t have been frightening at all.
I trusted him. Maybe too much, too soon. That trust and my desire for him mixed into something that felt dangerous. It made me afraid that I play any role he wanted me to play if it meant being in the same bed as him again.
Leaning over the counter, I traced my lips with my fingers. Why hadn’t he kissed me? Wasn’t that part of sex? Kissing the person that you were inside of? Was there something wrong with me that he didn’t want to kiss me?
Pushing the thoughts aside, I wrapped my arms around myself and headed back to bed. I had hoped to get some more asleep, but just ended up staring at the wall all night long. Mr. Langston got up and walked past my door several times, his sure steps echoing in the hall, before the sound of his car pulled up and then took him away.
Even after knowing he’d left, it took some time before I could get up to go downstairs and read today’s letter. Part of me was afraid it would tell me to pack my bags and get out. Deal over. I’d been a horrible lay.
Instead, it just had it’s usual, if not lengthier, list of chores. He’d ordered lunch for me that would be delivered from a café down the street. He’d detailed the time he expected for dinner and what to wear.
A knot formed at the thought of seeing him again, but I couldn’t tell if it was from anxiety or anticipation. Perhaps both.
After changing into a pair of shorts and a tank top, and munching on a quick breakfast, I got to work on my chores, surprised to find some cleaning duties in Mr. Langston’s bedroom.
With my cleaning caddy in hand, I walked into his bedroom, feeling jittery as I stepped inside. This was the first time I’d seen his room. The scent of him hit me immediately. His cologne had lingered in my coverlet for days, and I was more than intimate with his musk.
Slowly, I ran my hands over the surfaces of his furniture. I wasn’t brave enough to snoop, but it was obvious that he didn’t treat this space any differently than he treated the rest of his condo. No personal photos or mementos. No personal notes lying around. Even the bed was made. It certainly didn’t look like a bachelor’s bedroom. It was clean and orderly.
Sterile.
Using the feather duster, I wiped down the surfaces before bringing out the wood polish. Soon, all I could smell was cleaning products and that strong artificial lemon scent. It invaded my nostrils and made my nose run. Sniffing, I headed back out to the linen closet to grab a new set of sheets.
My hands trembled as I turned down his bed. It was strange touching the sheets that he slept on. He was here during his most vulnerable moments. While he slept, anyone could touch him. Run their hands along the sinewy muscles of his back. Curl their fingers through his thick hair. Press their lips to the nape of neck and not fear what he might do in return.
Not fear that he would get up and leave.
My heart ached, and I ripped the sheets off as quickly as possible. Piling them in the corner, I grabbed the dark blue set and spread it over the mattress. When everything was straight and smooth, I allowed myself a brief moment of weakness. Lying on his bed, I closed my eyes and pretended for just a moment that he might be there resting next to me, holding me.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I jump up like a gunshot and sprang from the bed. Did Mr. Langston have cameras in here? Did he see me slacking off and come to punish me? I shook my head, feeling foolish. Even if he had hidden cameras in his own bedroom he wouldn’t use the doorbell.
It was already noon.
With a hand against my chest, as thought that would slow my rapidly beating heart, I hurried back down and threw the door open. The delivery guy was standing on the other side of me, and he wasn’t alone.
“Hi, honey,” Ralph said with a big grin. “Want to invite me in?”
Nervously, I accepted the order from the delivery guy, and then realized that I had no cash to pay him. The guy seemed to realize my dilemma. “You’re all set, ma’am,” he said as he tipped his hat. “Have a good day.”
I hated not having money. It made me feel completely trapped.
Sitting the bag of food by the door, I stepped outside and pulled the door behind me. “Ralph. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to let you in.”
The smile immediately disappeared from his face. “I got you this gig, Daisy. Now you’re just going to make me stand out here like I’m not good enough to come inside?”
“No, that’s not it at all.” I swallowed hard. I’d slept with another man last night and now Ralph was here. A swirl of emotions filled my stomach, turning it sour. “He’s just very particular. What are you doing here?”
“I saw that Brick was at work, and came to check on you.”
Softening, I smiled. “You were worried about me?”
“I was worried about the kind of job that you were doing,” he snapped. “Rumor has it that the boss was real pissy yesterday. You’re supposed to make him happy!”
“I’m new at this Ralph,” I whispered hoarsely. “Last night was my first time…you know.”
“Fucking someone?” he asked bitterly. “God, you’re such a naive child. You can’t even say it. Well? How was it? Fucking a billionaire?”
“Ralph.” Embarrassed, I turned my head. “I wouldn’t have done this if you hadn’t asked. You know that.”
“Make him happy, Daisy. You do whatever he wants from you.” His eyes finally fell to my wrists. “Did he do that to you?”
Immediately, I held my hands behind my back. Was he concerned? “It doesn’t hurt that much.”
“He likes he rough?” Ralph snickered as he stepped closer to me. “And what about you, Daisy? Did you like it rough?”
“Ralph.” Clearing my throat, I pushed my shoulders back and faced him. “I need to know if this is okay. If you’re still going to want me when this is all over because otherwise, maybe we shouldn’t keep doing it.”
“Baby!” He reached for my hands and caressed his thumb over my skin. “Of course I still care for you. I hate the thought of you with another man, but this is going to be so good for us. I’ll have the money to make sure we’ve got a solid future ahead of us. We’re going to be so happy, but you’ve got to make Brick happy first, okay? You’ve got to make my boss happy.”
Nodding, I withdrew from his hold. Something didn’t feel sincere about his words. “I guess I have a hard time seeing it that way.”
“You don’t need to think of the future, Daisy. In fact, you don’t need to think at all. Just do what I tell you, and we’re going to be okay. I gotta go. It’s supposed to be my lunch break.” Ralph glanced at his watch. “Though I won’t get to eat now. I was so concerned about seeing you instead.” He looked at me expectantly, waiting.
“I can give you my lunch,” I said softly and opened the door, grabbing the bag of food for him.
Ralph peered inside and grunted. “You’re living the fucking life, Daisy. I hope you don’t get used to it.”
Without another word, he whirled around and marching away. Once his car was gone, I gently eased the door closed and leaned against it. How could Ralph be okay with me sleeping with another man? Was there not a single jealous bone in his body?
Mr. Langston didn’t seem the type to let his woman sleep with another man.
Immediately, I pushed the thought out of my mind. I wasn’t really Mr. Langston’s woman. I was just his employee. Ralph and I had a future.
Pressing my hand against my stomach, I decided that I needed to talk to the one person who was supposed to love me no matter what. I picked up the phone in Mr. Langston’s kitchen and I called my father.
He picked up on the third ring. “Who is this?” he grunted.
“Hi, Daddy,” I said softly. “It’s me.”
“Yeah?”
I could hear the television going in the background. “I was just wondering how you were doing?”
“Are you calling me for money?” he demanded. “I ain’t giving you any money. I’ve been supporting you for too long. It’s time for you to support yourself!”
“I wasn’t calling for money, Daddy. Actually, I got a new job. It’s temporary, but it’s going to pay me really well.”
“Oh yeah? You should swing by and float your old man something. Maybe pay me back for everything that I did for you. When do you get paid?”
Was that all he wanted from me? Money? Didn’t me miss me even a little? “I don’t really know, Daddy. How are you?”
“I’m fine, and you’re interrupting my TV show.”
Some stupid part of me craved to hear him ask about me. Find out where I’m was staying. Ask me if I was okay. There was nothing but angry silence on the other end of the line. “Right. I’m sorry, Daddy. Have a good day.”
The phone clicked without even a goodbye, and I slowly lowered the phone, desperately needing someone to talk to. Not that I could even talk about Mr. Langston, but my isolation was getting to me, and we weren’t even through the first week.
Maybe Suzie would stick around to chat with me tonight.
By the time I finished up my chores, my stomach was grumbling. I should have grabbed a bagel or something since missing lunch, but there was no point now. It was too close to dinner now, and Mr. Langston always made sure that I ate all of my meal. Stripping down, I stepped under the punishing hot water of the shower to get ready for his return.
Scrubbed clean but still anxious, I quickly slipped into the dress that he’d chosen for me. It was a beautiful powder blue cocktail dress with long gauzy sleeves, a plunging neckline, and a bare back. Gazing at my reflection, I twisted my hair up into a bun and pinned it. For the past few nights I looked like I’d been dipped in sin, but now that I’d lost my innocence I looked like an angel.
What kind of games was Mr. Langston playing?
Suzie arrived at the last minute with dinner. Her cheeks were flushed, and she scrambled to get everything prepared. As she barked out orders, I quietly followed them. We had just minutes to spare when we finished setting the table.
“Daisy,” Suzie said softly. “I don’t have much time tonight, but I can tell that something is on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”
Glancing at the clock, I pressed my lips together and shook my head. “No, I’m fine. But thank you for your concern.”
“Tomorrow, I’ll come earlier and we’ll chat.” She leaned over and squeezed my hand. “And then I have the weekend off, but my number is on the refrigerator if you need anything from me, okay?” She grabbed her bags and headed for the door with me following behind.
I was grateful for the older woman, but I feared what kind of temper Mr. Langston would be in if he caught us talking again. Locking the door behind me, I hurried to the kitchen to check on the trays in the oven when the lock turned and the door opened.
Mr. Langston walked in, his face was unreadable as he stopped and took stock of me. Straightening, I held my breath as he inspected me. His gaze swept down my body, leaving my skin singed from his heated eyes, and when he met my gaze, I slowly turned. My heels clicked on the floor, but I’d been practicing, and I didn’t stumble.
“Hello, Daisy,” he said in a low voice. “How was your day?”
How was my day? That wasn’t what I expected out of his mouth. “It was good. Thank you for asking.”
His eyes hardened. “Was it good because you had a visitor?” I could see the anger simmering just below the surface.
“I didn’t know he was coming and didn’t let him in,” I said quickly.
“But you gave him your lunch. The lunch that I bought you. I have cameras set up outside the door, Daisy. I know everything that happens here.” He took a threatening step towards me, but I held my ground. I did nothing wrong.
“Like I said before,” I whispered. “I didn’t know that he was coming to visit, and I didn’t let him in. He mentioned that he was skipping lunch to check on me, so I gave him mine.”
“Because you think he cares about you?” Mr. Langston spat. “You can’t possible be that thick, Daisy. He’s checking on his money. You’re nothing more than a tool for him to use, although I can see that concept is hard for you to grasp. I know you also called your father.”
“You didn’t say that I couldn’t!”
“I’m saying it now. You need to see that they are only using you.”
“And what are you doing?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I immediately lowered my gaze. The air grew tense around us. Would he ever get mad enough to hit me? Like Dad used to hurt Mom? I shook the thought away, refusing to take the words back.
The punishment never came. “Get dinner on the table,” he said finally. “I’m hungry, and I’m sure you are too.”
Shocked, I looked up and stared at him. He smiled stiffly at me. “Our play might get a little rough, Daisy, but I would never hit you. Next time something like this happens, don’t cringe from me.”
Spinning on his heels, he stalked to the table. I pulled the food out of the oven, a chicken dinner in a red wine sauce, and hurriedly served him. This time, after I poured him his glass of wine, I brazenly poured myself one as well.
Dinner was tense. We ate in silence for a few minutes before he narrowed his eyes. “Roll up your sleeves,” he suddenly demanded.
My fork hovered above my plate before I dropped it and slowly rolled up the gauzy fabric. I knew he was staring at the bruises. Was he happy that he’d marked me?
“Does it hurt?” he asked in a low voice.
“Do you want it to?”
“The truth, Daisy. What I want is the truth. Does it hurt?”
“Not as much as it did this morning,” I answered honestly. Self-conscious, I rubbed them. “The bruising will probably be gone tomorrow.” Unless you cuff me again tonight. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t stay them. The truth was that I didn’t mind the bruising all that much. I certainly hadn’t minded the cuffs. As much as my hands had ached to touch him, to hold him, there was something erotic about being helpless under him.
“Are you sore?”
I could tell that he wasn’t talking about my wrists anymore. I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say, and simply gave him the truth. “Yes, but it doesn’t bother me like I thought it would.”
He arched an eyebrow. “You thought it would bother you?”
Immediately, I picked up my wine glass and drank deeply from it, not really wanting to talk about this with him. He waited patiently for me to gather my bearings. “I just thought it might hurt more.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth. I held my breath, waiting for him to ask me to elaborate, but he didn’t. “You enjoyed it. I know you did.”
“I did,” I echoed. “I liked having you inside me. Master.”
There was a spark of something in his eye when I called him Master, but I couldn’t tell if it was pleasure or disappointment. “Tell me the truth, Daisy,” he said finally. “Are you happy about this arrangement?”
I honestly didn’t know how to answer him. In some respects, he was my hero. I had no place to live, and now there was a roof over my head, three meals a day, and a chance to walk away with some financial security. In other respects, it was a nightmare. I couldn’t even being to unravel the tangle of emotions inside me, and wasn’t entirely sure that I was going to like the woman I might turn into at the end of this.
Part of me had a feeling that if I told him that any of this made me unhappy or that I wanted out, he’d rip up the contract himself. That he’d even make sure not to cast me out empty handed. There was a strange soft side to Brick Langston that I hadn’t expected.
But leaving our contract wouldn’t make me happy either. I wanted to see this through, wanted to explore everything that he offered me. “Yes,” I finally whispered. “I am happy.”
“Good,” he grunted. “Finish your dinner.”
Glowing with pleasure that had nothing to do with sex, I relaxed. These next few weeks might be the best thing that had ever happened to me. For the longest time, I’d been burdened with taking care of other people. Maybe it was time to let someone, even a stranger, take care of me.