CHAPTER 31
Cate parked up in the college car park, switched off the engine and wiped her sweaty palms on her leggings. The car park was almost full and there were lots of students milling around. It was A-Level results day.
Originally, Cate had decided not to pick up her results in person, she’d figured that she might as well wait for them to be sent by post since she wasn’t going to use them for anything.
But then the day before, she’d just been putting her jacket on, when Nick had called her into his tiny, little office. Cate hadn’t been back there since she’d interviewed for the job. She’d hoped she hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Sit down,” Nick said and cleared a stack of books off one of the chairs. He perched on the edge of his desk, his ankles crossed. “I’ve moved the rotas around so you can have tomorrow off.”
“Oh,” Cate was confused, she hadn’t asked him to do that.
“A-Level results are out tomorrow, aren’t they?”
Cate thought for a second. “Uh, yeah I guess so but I don’t need the day off.” Whatever they were, she doubted anybody would want to celebrate or more likely commiserate with her.
Nick carried on talking as if he hadn’t heard her. “You’ll come in Friday instead? I’ve asked Molly to switch.”
“Okay,” Cate said. “Thanks.”
Nick’s mobile phone beeped and Cate was glad of the excuse to get up. “I’ll see you on Friday then.”
Nick didn’t answer; he was looking down at the screen on his phone. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’ll see you Friday.”
Cate had just got to the door when he spoke again. “Cate?”
“Yeah?”
Nick looked up from his phone and smiled at her. “Good luck, I’m, sure you’ll do great.”
“Thanks,” Cate smiled.
Kian was waiting for her when she got outside. She was fifteen minutes late. “Everything okay?” He asked as she got in the car.
“Yeah,” Cate said, leaning across to give him a kiss. “I just had to talk to Nick about something.”
“Oh yeah?” Kian drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for a gap in the traffic. “What about?”
“He, uh… He was just asking if I could switch shifts with Molly this week.”
Before she got out of the car, Cate checked her phone one last time. Nick was the only person who’d wished her good luck. She’d waited for Kian to say it last night and first thing this morning but he hadn’t. Her phone buzzed and she looked down; she had a text. Cate grinned; he hadn’t forgotten… She clicked on the little envelope but it was from Molly. “Good luck sweets.” Cate typed out a quick thanks before switching her phone off.
She got out of the car and followed the trail of students inside the main building. The results were being handed out in the Refectory. There was already a huge queue in front of her but Cate didn’t mind, she didn’t have anywhere else to be and she’d brought a book with her. Every so often, groups of students would come out and they’d either be smiling or trying really hard not to cry and the queue would move forward a little bit.
Eventually Cate got near the front of the queue; there were just a couple of people ahead of her.
The door swung open and Sinead came out smiling. She was on the phone. Cate immediately felt defensive, covering her stomach with her bag. She didn’t trust her once-best friend.
“Hey bro,” Sinead smirked when she clocked Cate standing there. “You want to take me out to celebrate tonight? That’s so sweet.”
One of the college employees tapped Cate on the shoulder as she watched Sinead disappear down the corridor. “Hon, it’s your turn.”
“Sorry,” Cate said and quickly shoved her book back in her bag. She took a deep breath and pulled open the doors. It doesn’t matter. If it doesn’t matter, why are you here? She could still feel her heart pounding inside of her chest.
Ruth Hayes, Cate’s tutor beckoned her across to her table. “Don’t look so worried,” Ruth said, as she flicked through her sheets of paper for Cate’s results. “Here we are,” she handed Cate an A4 sheet of paper.
As she reached for it, her bag dropped down from covering her stomach. “Oh,” Ruth said sharply, taking in Cate’s growing bump. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect… Is it congratulations?”
Cate blushed, quickly turning around to see if anybody was listening. “Yeah, thanks.”
She folded the paper in half and Ruth, having regained her composure, raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you want to know how you did?”
“I’ll open it outside,” Cate said quickly. “I want to be on my own, you know, in case I start crying.”
Ruth laughed. “Cate, don’t doubt yourself so much.”
Cate walked out of the Refectory and nearly tripped over Zeke who was sat on the steps. “Oops, I’m sorry.”
“You should be,” Zeke snarled at her. Whoa, where did that come from? Zeke looked awful, his face was white.
“Are you okay?” Cate put a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t patronise me,” he snapped.
“Okay,” Cate figured he wanted to be alone; she could definitely understand that.
As she went to walk away, he called after her. “Why are you even here?”
Cate turned around, she didn’t understand his question.
“You heard me,” Zeke said. “Sinead told me. You’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted. He’s yours now, isn’t he? Did you do it on purpose?”
Cate couldn’t work out why he was being so horrible to her.
“How did you do?” Zeke snatched the sheet of paper out of her hands. Cate tried to get it back. He opened it up and read her results.
“Bitch,” he said bitterly. He crumpled up the sheet of paper and threw it on the floor. Cate picked it up and shoved it in her bag.
“You don’t even need them,” Zeke said. “You’re just a dumb housewife.”
Cate stumbled towards her car, trying not to cry. Once she’d got inside and had locked the door, she pressed her face against the steering wheel and allowed the tears to spill down her cheeks and drip on to her leggings. It hit her all at once; the smirk on Sinead’s face as she’d made plans to celebrate her results with Cate’s husband; the disappointment in Ruth’s eyes when she’d seen Cate’s bump and the sheer force of Zeke’s anger. Cate didn’t want to spend a single second longer in this car park. She wanted to go somewhere she could be alone.
Before she knew what she was doing, Cate found herself parking up at Mill Lake.
She bought a ticket for the whole day and put it in the windscreen of her car. It was the school holidays so there were a few families stood near the lake, feeding the ducks.
Cate smiled, thinking about bringing her own child here someday.
Despite what happened back there, she murmured to her stomach, I’m never going to regret having you.
She headed down one of the paths at the side of the lake and eventually found a bench far enough away from anybody. She sat down and pulled out the dusty, crumpled sheet of paper. Her heart hammered inside her chest even though she knew that whatever was printed on it was useless to her. She couldn’t have a baby and go to university and she was keeping her baby so like Zeke said, she didn’t need these results.
But she’d worked hard; she’d practically lived at the library that last month. Was all of that worth nothing? Did nobody care about all the hard work she’d put in now that she was pregnant?
Cate unfolded the sheet of paper and forced herself to look at it. At first she didn’t believe what she’d seen so she read it again and again until it finally sunk in. Cate laughed bitterly. All As, all freaking As. She’d done better than predicted and nobody freaking cared. How many students across the country right now would kill for the grades she’d just got? She couldn’t stop laughing.
A guy walking his dog came over and asked if she was all right.
“Sorry,” Cate said, sobering up a little. “I’ve just got my A Level results.”
“How did you do?” He asked kindly.
“I got four As,” Cate said. It sounded really strange saying it out loud.
“Wow,” the man whistled. “That’s fantastic, congratulations. I bet you’ll be doing some celebrating tonight.”
I doubt it, Cate thought. She smoothed out the creases on the sheet of paper and put it inside her book to keep it safe. As she walked back to the car, she couldn’t stop smiling.
When Kian got home that afternoon, Cate was curled up on the back porch reading. “Hey,” he said softly, brushing her inky-black hair away from her face. He leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly, gently opening them so he could push his tongue inside her warm, wet mouth.
“I like that welcome,” Cate smiled, shuffling backwards so he could lie down next to her on the daybed.
“I’ve got to tell you something,” Kian traced the shell of her ear with his finger, toying with her piercings. “You’re probably not going to like me very much after I tell you.”
Cate had a good idea what it was going to be.
“Sinead,” Kian felt Cate tense up just hearing his sister’s name. “She got her results today, four Cs. I said I’d take her and Mum out to celebrate.”
“OK.” Even though she knew she was being irrational, Cate wanted to ask what about me?
“If you don’t want me to go, just say the word,” Kian kissed the spot just below her ear. He knew her body so well. Cate couldn’t stop herself from melting into him.
“I don’t…” Kian continued kissing down her neck and Cate could hardly catch her breath. He tugged at the neckline of her t-shirt so he could get access to the tendon between her neck and shoulder.
“You were saying?” Kian grinned, looking into his wife’s cloudy black eyes.
Cate put a hand on his chest and pushed him back a little. “I can’t think straight when you’re doing that. I don’t want to come between you and your family.”
“Hey,” Kian frowned. “You’re my family too. You’re my baby mama.”
“I hate that phrase,” Cate tried to push him back some more so she could get up.
“You’re my wife,” Kian said, refusing to budge. He reached down and lifted up her hand, kissing the band wrapped around her finger. “My beautiful, sexy wife and the mother of my unborn child. That better?”
“A little,” Cate conceded.
“If my Dad was still here…” Kian’s voice trailed off. Cate could still see the grief haunting his beautiful brown eyes. She knew it wasn’t what he meant but she couldn’t help the little voice inside her head, which said that if his Dad was still here, they wouldn’t be married or expecting a child together.
Cate held the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her, “it’s OK, I get it.” His Dad’s death had forced him into all these new roles – even though he was Cate’s husband, he was still Sinead’s brother and Jean’s son. If Eamon had still been alive, he would have been so proud of Sinead for passing her A-Levels; he’d definitely have taken her out for a fancy dinner to celebrate. It was only right that Kian wanted to do the same.
“You could come with me?”
Cate shook her head, “it’s Sinead’s night, I don’t want to spoil it.”
After Kian had gone out, Liv called. “I feel like a shit.”
“Why, what’s wrong?” Cate asked.
“No,” Liv said. “I don’t feel like shit, I feel like a shit.”
“Okay,” Cate took a sip of apple juice and pretended it was champagne. “Why?”
“I didn’t wish you luck.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Cate said quickly.
“Yeah, it does,” Liv said. “I’ve got this huge project at work, like overtime-a-go-go and Ryan’s being an arse again but I still should have remembered about today, I’m a shitty sister.”
“You’re not,” Cate smiled. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not like I’m going to use them for anything.”
“You got them then?” Liv said. “Shit, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
Cate looked around the empty kitchen; she was sat at the kitchen counter folding up piles of washing and drinking apple juice out of a champagne flute. “Nope.”
“So how did you do?” Liv asked eagerly.
“I did OK,” Cate said, taking another sip of juice.
“Screw that,” Liv said. “What grades did you get?”
“A,” Cate said nonchalantly.
“That’s fantastic, what else?” Liv said.
“As,” Cate said. “I got all As.” She had to hold the phone away from her ear because Liv screamed so loud.
“I am so freaking proud of you,” Liv said, when she stopped screaming. “So. Freaking. Proud.”
“Thanks,” Cate said.
“So what are you doing to celebrate?” Liv said. “Is Kian taking you out somewhere?”
“I’m going to finish sorting out the washing and then I’m going to have an early night, I’ve got to work tomorrow.”
“You’re shitting me, right?” Liv said. “Where’s that husband of yours?”
“It’s fine,” Cate said.
“Like hell it is,” Liv said. “Where is he? Put him on the phone.”
“He’s gone out,” Cate said.
“Where?”
“Sinead got good results so he and Jean are taking her out for a meal.”
“What about you?” Liv said. “You’re his wife.”
“Don’t be mad at him,” Cate said. The elation had worn off and now she was just tired. “He doesn’t know how I did.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?”
“What’s the point,” Cate said. She told Liv what Zeke had said to her outside college. “He’s right though. It’s not like I’m going to use them for anything.”
“That’s not the point,” Liv said. “You worked your butt off for those results and you deserve to celebrate them. I’ve got an idea… I’m going to make a few calls, don’t go to bed.”
“Liv, it’s fine.”
“Stop saying that, it’s not fine,” Liv said and then hung up.
Half an hour later, Cate heard the doorbell ring. When she opened the door, it was Liv, Erin and Lauren and they were all glammed up.
“Hi,” Cate said, she was still wearing her leggings and shirtdress and felt dowdy in comparison.
“Congratulations,” Erin gave her a big hug.
“Thanks,” Cate said, “but what are you guys doing here?”
“We’re taking you out to celebrate,” Lauren said. “I don’t want to hear another word, get your butt upstairs and get dressed.”
The three of them followed her upstairs and immediately began going through her wardrobe. “What about this?” Liv said, holding up a dress but Lauren wrinkled her nose.
Erin sat down beside Cate on the bed. “I’m sorry about Ben.”
Cate shrugged her shoulders, “it’s fine. He’s hurt, I understand.”
“Here you go,” Lauren said. “Go and put this on.”
“This is where you’re taking us?” Liv asked sceptically, as they stood outside the bar Lauren wanted to go to. “Really?”
“I know it doesn’t look much from the outside,” Lauren said, “but it’s got the most lickable bartender you’ve ever seen.”
“Lickable?” Erin asked, thinking she’d misheard.
“Oh yeah,” Lauren licked her lips, “Lickable. He looks just like Wade from that TV show?”
“Seriously?” Erin asked, her eyes widening.
“Down girl,” Lauren grinned, “I’ve got first dibs on this one. Besides, you’re married.” She looked across at Liv, “what do you reckon; you want to check it out?”
“I was picturing something a bit more…”
“Glamorous?” Lauren asked. “Look, we can go somewhere else, if you really want. My mate’s working the door at Revenge tonight over in Castlefield.”
“Before you decide though…” Lauren pouted. “Spare a thought for my poor cobwebbed lady bits.”
“Your what?” Erin spluttered.
“Seriously,” Lauren said, “I can’t remember the last time I had sex with something that didn’t require batteries.”
“What about Kendo?” Cate asked.
“Gay,” Lauren scowled. “Come on; take pity on your poor single friend. It’s all right for you lot, if we go to Revenge, afterwards you’ll all go back to your lovely hubbies and boyfriends and have the sex. I want the sex; I need the sex with Mr Lickable.”
“Fine,” Liv laughed. “Just be careful if you do take him home that you don’t break him.”
The bar was quiet and they easily found a booth towards the back, far enough away from the DJ. “There he is,” Lauren almost squealed, as Mr Lickable casually flipped up the top and stepped behind the bar.
“Ooh,” Erin said, “he looks exactly like Wade.”
“Put your tongue back in missy,” Lauren teased. She added another coat of lip-gloss and fluffed up her hair. “What do you think?”
“Go get him, tiger,” Liv gave her the thumbs-up.
When Lauren came back from the bar, Mr Lickable was in tow, carrying their tray of drinks. “Ladies,” he grinned, flashing his pearly white teeth. “I’m Zane; let me know if you need anything.”
“I think Lauren needs something,” Liv piped up.
“Oh yeah,” Zane folded his arms across his chest. “And which one of you lovely ladies is Lauren?”
“That’d be me,” Lauren blushed.
“What can I do for you, Lauren?”
“She’s got cobwebs,” Liv giggled. Lauren glared at her.
“Cobwebs, huh?” Zane raised an eyebrow. “Whereabouts?”
“Kill me now,” Lauren muttered under her breath. “They’re in my… bedroom.” She said the 1st place she could think of.
“I tell you what,” Zane leaned in to Lauren. “I finish here at 11, if you stick around, maybe I can help you do something about those cobwebs.”
“Oh my goodness,” Erin squealed after Zane had gone back behind the bar. “You are so in there, he wants to see your cobwebs.”
“From your mouth to God’s ears,” Lauren grinned, looking up at the ceiling. “I bloody hope so, I’ve run out of batteries.”
“Let’s have a toast,” Liv announced, raising her glass. “To my incredibly swotty little sister and her kick-ass A Level results.”
“Thanks,” Cate blushed, sipping her J20.
“Open your present,” Liv said, putting a large black box on the table.
Cate was embarrassed. “You didn’t need to buy me anything.”
“Open it,” Liv urged. “Do it,” she repeated, slapping her hands on the table.
Cate opened the lid of the box and peeled back the layers of hot-pink tissue paper. “What the…?”
“What is it?” Erin asked eagerly, looking over Cate’s shoulder. “Oh.”
Cate quickly covered it up with tissue paper and put the lid firmly back on the box.
“What was it?” Lauren asked Liv.
“A vibrator,” Liv replied.
Cate pushed the box back towards Liv. “Thanks for the… you know but you can have it back.”
“You’re keeping it,” Liv said, pushing the box back towards Cate. “I bought it you for 4 reasons. Firstly, it’s purple which I know is your favourite colour.”
Cate rolled her eyes.
“Secondly, every woman should have one. I’ve got two,” Liv said proudly. “Erin?”
Erin blushed bright red, “just one,” she squeaked.
“You already know I’ve got a collection of them,” Lauren smiled. “It depends on my mood.”
“See,” Liv nudged Cate, “it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I bet even Mum’s got one.”
“Ew,” Cate covered her face with her hands. “I don’t want to think about that.”
“The top drawer of her bedside table is always locked – what the heck do you think she keeps in there?”
“Third, I thought since your husband’s being such a dick, I might as well buy you one.”
“I’m going to kill you,” Cate scowled at her sister. She quickly looked around to make sure that nobody was listening in to their conversation. “He’s not that bad.”
“Where is he then?” Liv said, looking around. “Is he with his wife celebrating her kick-ass A Level results?”
“It’s complicated.”
“It’s not complicated, he’s a dick,” Liv said. “Finally…”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Cate sighed.
“When your husband’s not being a dick, he’s away a lot. Remy said she’s never been as horny as she was when she was pregnant with Rocco and Luca so this way if you get the urge and hubby’s away, you can take care of yourself.”
“You talked to Remy about this?”
“Course I did,” Liv giggled. “She paid half.”
“What’s so funny?” Nick grinned, as he walked up to the table.
“Nicky,” Liv kissed his cheeks. “Where have you been?”
“I had to lock up the Tavern,” Nick smiled, removing Liv’s arms from around his neck. “How many have you had?”
“She’s up the duff,” Liv said, jerking her head at Cate, “so I’m drinking for two.”
Lauren picked up the empty bottle, “I’ll get us some more drinks.”
“Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga came on and Liv quickly stood up, “it’s my song. Erin, dance with me.” Erin grimaced as Liv grabbed her hand and pulled her into the centre of the dance floor. “Cate, why don’t you show Nicky your present?”
Cate shot her sister a filthy look, pushing the box to the other side of the booth.
“What’s she talking about?” Nick asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s nothing,” Cate blushed furiously. “She’s drunk.”
Nick took Liv’s place next to Cate in the booth. His aftershave was so strong, Cate tried really hard not to gag. “So, how did you do?”
“I got, um, 4 A’s,” Cate admitted, blushing.
“That’s awesome,” Nick said, hugging her. Cate wasn’t sure if she was reading too much into it but the hug seemed to go on forever; she could feel his warm breath on the side of her neck. She was glad when Erin came back to the table.
“Phew,” Erin lay back on the booth, resting her head on the cardboard box. “Your sister’s crazy.”
They looked over at Liv who was dancing wildly, her arms and legs flailing. “I’m a freak,” she yelled.
“She’s definitely that,” a stocky, shaven-headed bloke said as he walked past the table. “I’d give her one though.”
“Look how drunk she is,” his mate leered. “I bet she wouldn’t put up much of a fight either.”
Cate felt sick; listening to those guys talking about her sister like that. Nick put a hand on her arm. “You stay here, I’ll go.”
“Did you hear that?” Cate asked Erin. “Erin?”
When she looked across, Erin was curled up on the bench with her eyes closed. Cate prodded her side and Erin quickly opened her eyes. “What?”
“Did you just fall asleep?”
Erin looked guilty. “I’m sorry. I know it’s your big night and I really want to celebrate with you but I’m absolutely pooped.”
“It’s fine,” Cate said. “You don’t have to stay out all night.”
“I don’t mind,” Erin protested. Cate could tell that she was really tired and wanted to go home.
“Go,” Cate got up and pulled Erin to her feet.
“Do you want me to give you a lift home?”
Cate was about to answer when the sound of breaking glass filled the air. “What did you just call me?” Liv squared up to another girl on the dance floor. “I’ll snap you like a twig.”
“I’d better stay with Liv.”
Erin squeezed Cate’s hand. “Nick can take care of her.”
That’s true, Cate thought but she didn’t trust him – her sister was so drunk. She told Erin to go home. “I’ll put this in the boot of my car,” Erin blushed, picking up Cate’s “present.”
After Erin had gone, Cate tried to drag Liv back to their booth. “No,” Liv shook her head. “I’m having too much fun here. Dance with me.”
“Come on, don’t be a spoilsport,” Liv grabbed Cate by the hand, pulling her further into the centre of the dance floor. Cate really wanted to go home. She could feel everybody looking at them and not in a good way. Liv wouldn’t let go of her hand so Cate had to stand there while Liv danced around her. She looked around for Lauren but she and Mr Lickable had both disappeared. Nick was stood at the bar with a bottle of beer in his hand watching them.
Eventually Cate had enough. She wasn’t used to wearing heels and her feet were sore. It was a work night so as it got later and later the crowd started to thin out and Cate wasn’t sure she liked the people that were left.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Nick said, coming to her rescue.
“Think I have,” Liv said. She was really, really drunk. Cate hadn’t seen her with that many drinks but she must have got them from somewhere.
As she walked off the dance floor, her shoe got caught on a piece of glass from the earlier confrontation and she lurched forward. “I’ve got you,” Nick said, catching her.
“You’re cute,” Liv giggled.
“Come on,” Nick said. He looked like he was trying really hard to frown but there was a smile creeping out.
As they left the bar, he guided them both (Liv was still holding on tightly to Cate’s hand) in the opposite direction of the taxi rank. “Where are we going?” Cate said.
“My place,” Nick said. “It’s just around the corner.”
“No, thanks,” Cate said, tugging on Liv’s hand. “We’ll be fine, we’ll get a taxi.”
“No taxi driver’s going to take her looking like that,” Nick said, looking down at Liv.
As if on cue, Liv stopped and clutched her stomach. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
As Liv emptied her stomach into the road, Cate realised that Nick was right. They couldn’t get a taxi and she didn’t want to call Kian.
“Are you done?” Nick asked Liv and she nodded. Her face was green. “Okay then.” Nick lifted her up over his shoulder and started walking towards his flat. Cate didn’t know where they were and it was dark so she had no choice but to follow them.
“Don’t look so panicked,” Nick said as he unlocked his front door. “I’m not going to chop you up into little pieces.”
“I know,” Cate said, trying to be cool. Nick dropped Liv on the sofa and went to get pillows and blankets.
Cate sat down on the floor at the side of the sofa and watched Liv. Nick wrapped a blanket around Liv’s sleeping body and then sat down in the armchair.
“Does she do this a lot?” Cate asked him. Liv looked really peaceful when she was asleep, like she was a little girl again.
“You should really ask her that.”
Nick didn’t make any move to get up and go to bed and Cate was really tired. She couldn’t sleep with him sat there.
After the third time she’d yawned, he said, “do you want to sleep in my bed?”
Cate looked shocked, “I’m married.”
Her expression made Nick laugh. “No,” he said, waving his hands at her, “I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. You’re obviously tired and you can’t sleep on the floor so why don’t you go and sleep in my bed and I’ll stay here and keep an eye on Liv.”
Cate was really tired but there was no way she was sleeping in another man’s bed. “No, it’s fine,” she said, trying really hard not to yawn again. “You go to bed, I’ll stay with Liv.”
“At least, sit on the chair,” Nick conceded. It did look really cosy. Cate got up and climbed into the chair and Nick wrapped a blanket around her. A few minutes later she fell asleep.
The following morning, she woke with a start. She looked around and didn’t recognise where she was. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach, what have I done? She could hear somebody close by, it sounded like they were being sick.
“Ugh, I’m never drinking again,” Liv came back into the room and fell back on the sofa. Phew, Cate thought, at least Liv’s here.
“You always say that,” Cate looked up and saw Nick standing over them. Ugh, it all came flooding back to her.
Nick gave Cate and Liv a lift home. “Too bright,” Liv sprawled across the backseat, covering her face with her hands. “Go to sleep, princess,” Nick laughed, covering her up with a blanket. “I’ll let you know when you’re home.”
When they got to the house, Cate hadn’t even got out of the car when Kian flung open the front door. Cate could tell he was angry; he had every right to be.
“Where the fuck have you been?” He roared.
He looked past Cate at the car she’d just got out of and when he saw Nick in the driver’s seat, his eyes flashed dangerously. He couldn’t see Liv curled up on the backseat, snoring loudly; it looked like Cate had spent the night just with Nick.
“Inside,” Kian growled at Cate. “Now.”
“Just go,” Cate mouthed to Nick. He didn’t need to be told; he was already gunning the engine.
The front door had just about closed when Kian grabbed Cate by the shoulders. “Did you have sex with him?”
Cate felt like somebody had slapped her across the face, hard. “How can you ask me that?”
“Answer the fucking question.”
“No, I won’t,” Cate snapped angrily. She remembered sitting at the kitchen counter folding laundry while he was out celebrating his sister’s A Levels results. The same sister who’d suggested that Kian should get a paternity test done on their baby because Cate was such a humongous slut. He hadn’t even wished Cate good luck.
She shrugged him off and ran upstairs to the bathroom. Ugh, she looked at the clock and realised that in an hour she had to go to work with Nick. She needed a shower.
Cate was in the bathroom, just getting undressed when Kian stormed in. “Get out,” she cried, reaching for a towel to cover herself.
“I need to know,” Kian demanded, taking the towel out of her hand. Cate stood there, naked and exposed.
“You shouldn’t have to ask me.” Cate touched the wedding ring on her finger but it felt worthless.
Kian looked her body up and down. He came closer to get a better look. Cate didn’t know what he was looking for but she knew he wouldn’t find it. “Did he do this?” he asked, pointing at a small mark on her thigh.
Cate took a step back. “Kian, stop.”
She could see the hurt in his eyes. “Did he?”
Cate realised he wasn’t going to back down and she was just so tired. She looked down at the mark and she remembered the feel of his lips on her skin, the feel of Kian’s lips on her skin. It had felt so good. That he could even think that she would let another man touch her like that… Cate felt all of the anger slip away and she just felt sad. She grabbed her clothes to cover herself and sat down on the side of the bath.
“I did that, didn’t I?” Kian said quietly.
Cate nodded. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying.
Kian got the towel and wrapped it around her but Cate couldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry”.
Empty words, Cate thought. Kian held her face in his hands and made her look at him. He knelt down in front of her and she could see that he wasn’t angry anymore. He looked tired too, there were dark circles under his eyes and he had stubble on his chin.
“I didn’t know where you were,” Kian said. “I thought something had happened to you or the baby?”
I’m an idiot, Cate thought. She realised she hadn’t called or texted him to let him know where she was. It was this marriage thing; she still wasn’t used to it.
He left her to have a shower and get dressed and when she came downstairs, he’d made her a mug of tea.
The front of the newspaper had headlines about A Level results. “Are you sure you want to wait for them to come in the post?” Kian asked. “If you want to go and pick them up, I could come with you?”
Cate wanted to laugh. Why couldn’t he have been like this yesterday?
“What’s so funny?” Kian said.
“Nothing,” Cate hadn’t forgiven him enough to tell him. “I’ve got to go to work.”
“No,” Kian said angrily. “I don’t want you working with that guy, I don’t trust him.”
“You don’t have to trust him,” Cate said, picking up her handbag. “You just have to trust me.”
When Cate came out of work that afternoon, Kian was there waiting for her. But he didn’t drive her home instead they went to Mill Lake. When he stopped the car, Cate asked what they were doing there.
“We need to talk,” Kian said, reaching for his wallet.
“And we couldn’t do that at home?” Cate asked when he came back from buying a car park ticket.
“No,” Kian said. He came around to the side of the car, opened her door and Cate got out.
They walked for a while along one of the paths at the side of the lake. Without knowing, Kian stopped at the same bench where Cate had opened her A Level results the previous day. He gestured for Cate to sit down. It was the perfect time to be at Mill Lake; it was still daylight and warm enough if you had a jacket. There was a sense of peace; the only sounds were the occasional barks from dogs enjoying their early evening walks. Cate stared out at the lake; waiting for Kian to say something.
“About this morning…” Kian started to speak.
A black Labrador came sniffing around their feet and they heard a voice shout, “Maeby, get over here.”
Cate turned around and it was the same man she’d seen there yesterday.
“Maeby,” the man called again but the dog ignored him.
“Sorry about this,” the man said and reached for Maeby’s collar. “Oh hello again,” he said, when he saw Cate’s face.
“Hi,” Cate said. Maeby looked up at her and she ruffled the top of her head.
“Have you come down yet?” The man asked as he reattached the lead to Maeby’s collar.
He meant her A Level results. Cate smiled at his kindness. “Just about.”
“Congratulations again,” he said and headed off back down the pathway with Maeby following close behind.
“Do you know him?” Kian asked. “Why was he congratulating you?”
Cate took a deep breath. Despite the way he’d behaved this morning in the bathroom, she needed to tell him the truth.
“You said you were going to wait for them to come through the post?” Kian said, after she’d finished.
“I know”.
“Fuck, Cate.” Kian got up off the bench and walked along the side of the lake. His shoulders were hunched over; his hands dug deeply into his jacket pockets. Cate waited for him to come back.
When he sat down on the bench again, she turned to him. “Kian, please don’t be angry with me.”
“I’m not,” he said. “Shit, I’m not angry with you.” He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. “If I’d thought for one minute you were going to pick up your results yesterday, of course I’d have wished you luck.”
“I’m sorry I was such a bastard to you this morning,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Last night when I came home and you weren’t there… I can’t tell you all the horrible things that went through my head.”
“I’m sorry,” Cate said. “I was a bitch too, I should have called.”
They sat there for a little while longer, wrapped up in each other as the sun started to go down. “I can’t believe you got straight As,” Kian said, breaking the silence. “How did a smart girl like you end up with me?”
Cate laughed, “you have your attractions.”
“Oh yeah?” Kian’s eyes lit up. “Such as?”
“You’ll have to give me a minute, I can’t think of any right now.”
Kian pretended to be wounded. “What about my looks?”
Cate held his face in her hands, “you’re not bad looking, I guess.”
“My personality.”
“I’ve known better.”
“Oh you have, have you?” Kian pulled her up on to his lap. “What about this?” He gently licked her lips.
She opened her lips to reply and his tongue slipped inside. Damn, he was good.
“You have to admit I’m good at that,” Kian said, proudly as Cate struggled to catch her breath. She rubbed a finger over her tingling lips and had to admit that she was desperate for him to kiss her again. “Um, not bad.”
“So, you don’t want me to kiss you again?” He teased.
Cate shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t mind, kiss me, don’t kiss me.” Even as she was saying it, her whole body was screaming KISS ME in huge, capital letters.
“Okay then I won’t,” Kian said, he lifted her up and put her back down on the bench. “Shall we go home?”
Kian watched her eyes cloud with disappointment even as she said, “yeah, that’s fine.”
“You really don’t mind if I don’t kiss you again?” he asked. He rubbed a finger gently over her lips and Cate couldn’t stop herself from whimpering a little.
“I really don’t mind,” Cate said, although even she knew that her body was telling Kian something completely different.
They walked back to the car park, which was deserted now that it was dark and had just reached the entrance when Kian tugged her back. He leaned back against a tree and pulled her towards him, so every inch of her body was held against him. “Maybe I do it better standing up?” he asked. Cate’s eyes widened and he laughed. “I meant kissing. Cate, you’ve got such a dirty mind.”
Even in the dark, he could tell that she was blushing. He put a hand on her warm cheek and brushed his lips against hers. It was like an electric shock that she felt in every pore. She opened her lips, drawing him in. “Ugh,” he groaned as she sucked on his tongue, his hand fisted up in her hair.
Suddenly a dog barked and Kian loosened his grip. “Let’s get you home,” he said.
“No,” Cate whimpered. It felt too good.
“Still think I’m just not bad at kissing?” Kian teased her.
Cate shook her head, “you’ll do.”