Chapter Twenty-Nine
Meghan
“Hey,” he says, giving me that smile that I’ve always loved.
“Hey, yourself,” I reply as he jumps up out of the chair and approaches.
“I’ve been waiting,” he adds, giving me a knowing look.
“Yeah, well, sometimes I’m a little slow on the uptake,” I sass, laughing.
“No kidding. You’re as bad as your sisters sometimes, you know?” he teases and comes over to where I’m sitting. “I’m going to miss you.”
My eyes and throat start to burn. “I’m going to miss you too.”
“But you don’t need me anymore, sweetheart. You have someone else now.”
I drop my chin to my chest and nod.
“I really like him,” he says, drawing my eyes back to his. “I’ve always liked him. That’s why I know you’re going to be in great hands, Meggy.”
“He is pretty wonderful. But so were you.”
“Ehh, I was only wonderful because of you. You made me the man I was.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You were the only one who could put up with me and my crazy family,” I reply, making him laugh.
“They are pretty nutty. I enjoy dropping in on them from time to time and seeing what they’re all up to. They all have a pretty good life,” he says with that familiar smile as he reaches for my hand.
“They do. I’m proud of all of them.”
“And I’m proud of you, Meggy. For finally taking the steps you needed to take. I know it wasn’t easy. Hell, it wasn’t easy, nor fun to watch. But you got there, just like I knew you would. And I owe a big chunk of the gratitude to Nick for that. He helped you see just how amazing you are, and just how big your heart is.”
“It wasn’t easy,” I tell him honestly.
“No, it wasn’t. Life isn’t easy, Meggy. But love makes it worth it. Like I told you that night… Live, Meg. Live and love, because that’s who you are and why you were put here.”
We’re both silent for several seconds. I memorize his features, the way his eyes light up when he smiles, and the way his hand feels in mine.
“I gave the ring back to your mom,” I tell him.
“I know. She cried after you left, but she’ll be okay. You’re both going to be okay,” he says, offering me a sad smile. “It was hard watching you take it off.”
“It was hard to take it off,” I confess, my fingers automatically going to the place that ring has sat for the last couple of years. “But it was time.”
“It was,” he agrees.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” I say, silently crying once more.
“I’m going to miss you too. I promise to check in on you every once in a while too.”
“I’d like that,” I tell him honestly.
“You were my forever love, Meggy. But now I leave you in Nick’s hands. He’ll help guide you and love you through the rest of your life. And someday, we’ll meet again. I promise.”
“I look forward to it,” I say as we both stand up. “I will always love you, Josh.”
“And I will always love you, Meghan. Be free, sweet girl. Be free and love.”
“I will,” I state, shedding more tears as he moves forward, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“Goodbye,” he says as he turns and walks away.
“Goodbye,” I reply, watching him go.
When I wake with a start, I know he’s gone. The house feels different now. Even though I realize Josh will always be with me, I know that the rest of this journey through life isn’t with him by my side.
But I’m not alone. I have my family. I have friends.
And I have Nick.
For how long? No one knows.
But if I’m lucky, I’ll get to spend the rest of my life beside him, loving him.
Angie was right. There’s room for two in my heart. Josh’s love was my past, and Nick’s is my future. One doesn’t trump the other, they just co-exist.
I feel Nick’s arm wrap around me, pulling me into his chest. His heart is beating steadily beneath my fingertips as I softly caress the light dusting of dark hair on his chest.
“You okay?” he whispers.
Snuggling in close, I recall my dream. Not the one I’ve been plagued with since the night Josh died, but the one I had tonight. The one where we said goodbye. The one where I let him go.
“Yes,” I answer honestly, smiling upward. Because I know that I will be okay.
I’ll be okay because of this man I have at my side, as well as the one who watches over me.
I’ll be okay because I’m a strong woman who has survived heartache and come out only slightly scathed and yet smiling on the other side.
I’ll be okay because I know how to love, and how to accept it in return.
That’s what I’ll carry with me forever.
My forever.