Chapter Twelve

“Emma, Emma, wake up.”

I better have been dreaming, or more like having a nightmare. All I could hear was some cute, man-stealing voice frantically calling my name, and on top of that I was being poked.

“Please wake up.”

One of my eyes popped open. It was still dark, but I could feel Shelby’s minty breath in my face. How did she manage to avoid morning breath? She really was a freak of nature.

“What time is it?” I croaked with probably stale breath. Us non-goddesses lacked the minty breath gene.

“I’m so sorry. It’s around 4:30. I’ve been dying for like an hour and I need your help.”

I sat up groggy and rubbed my eyes, careful not to touch my wounds. “Are you sick?”

Shelby sat up too, shivering and shaking her head. “I know this is going to sound silly, but . . . I’ve never peed outside. I don’t know how.”

“You haven’t peed the entire time we’ve been up here?”

She shook her head. “No, and I’m dying. I can’t hold it anymore.”

What did she want me to do about it?

“Can you please show me how?”

I was going to kill Sawyer. At the very least, he was not riding home with me and neither was the blonde who was ready to explode.

“Please,” she begged.

“Sure,” I sighed. “Let me get my shoes on.”

She kissed my cheek. “You’re the best, thank you.”

Before I knew it, we were traipsing in the outdoors with only my flashlight for light before the butt crack of dawn, trying to find a spot Shelby felt comfortable peeing in. I kept telling her no one was awake, so it didn’t matter as long as it was level, but the girl said, “My bladder will get shy if it’s not in private.” I rolled my eyes, not even caring if she saw.

Shelby was gripping my arm as we hiked to a level and private spot among the willow bushes. With every rustle in the wild grass and trees, the girl jumped and squeezed my arm.

“Don’t worry, any animals are more afraid of us than we are of them.”

“I’m going to have to disagree.” She shook.

I pointed with my flashlight to a “private” spot for the princess. “This should work.”

She let go of my arm. “Okay,” she said through gritted teeth, “what do I do?”

I couldn’t believe I was having to give her outdoor peeing lessons. “See how the ground is mostly level. Keep your feet pointed downhill so you don’t pee on yourself.”

“Pee on myself?”

I shrugged. “It happens if you’re not careful.”

“Well, how do I be extra careful?”

I needed some Dr. Pepper before I had these kinds of conversations. “It’s not that difficult.” I tried not to be snippy. I couldn’t imagine holding my pee for as long as she had. If she didn’t get a UTI, I was going to be surprised. “Just pull your shorts and underwear down to right at your knees, spread your feet at least shoulder width apart, and squat all the way down. Make sure your thighs touch your calves.” That may be difficult for her since her thighs were more like bean poles. “Then you can do the rest. I’ll turn around.”

“Don’t do that. I need the light.”

I wasn’t going to watch this woman pee. “I’ll hold the flashlight over my shoulder.”

“Oh. Okay. But what do I wipe myself with?”

“If you’re only peeing it’s best just to air dry. Any toilet paper you use you would have to pack out.”

“Are you serious?”

As a freaking heart attack. “You should always leave a campsite as clean or cleaner than you found it.”

She nodded, unsure with that assessment. “Well, okay. Here goes nothing.”

I turned around but kept shining my flashlight on her.

“Oh Mylanta,” she shouted, “it’s cold on my wooha and bum.”

I had to hold back my laugh.

“I hope I’m doing this right. Do you want to check before I start?”

“I’m good. I’m sure you’re doing fine.”

“Okay.” She sounded like she might cry.

Soon I heard a trickle of urine.

“Oh. My. Gosh. Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Holy crap, she sounded as if she were having a much different experience than relieving herself. She was going to wake everyone up. I gave in to the fits of laughter I had been keeping in. Maybe I should hold my urine for several hours if it felt that good.

I must have stood there for a good ten minutes while she first relieved herself and then air dried. I was impressed she could squat for so long, but that explained her incredible figure.

“Emma,” she said after I could no longer hear any tinkling or a downright stream. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I mean thank you for everything. I have this feeling that you and I are going to be best friends.”

She might want to get her head checked, because with God as my witness, Goddess Potty and I were never going to be the best of anything unless she married Sawyer. In that case, I might consider her my best enemy.

~*~

There was no going back to sleep for me after my way too early wake-up call. I decided to take a bit of a hike up the mountain to the ledge where Dad and I’d had some great heart-to-hearts growing up about everything from what school I should attend to why it wasn’t fair that I wasn’t as pretty as my sisters. He would wrap his arm around me and say, “Honey, there are all sorts of pretty in this world and you are among the prettiest.” He was such a liar. I loved him for it.

The ledge wasn’t only good for talks; it was the perfect place to watch the sunrise and think about life. I’d told Shelby where I was going before she fell back asleep just in case something happened to me. Once the sun was up, I would have a clear view of the campsite and I could be seen by any in our group. I didn’t expect anyone to get up for at least a couple more hours unless preggers needed to pee too. Jenna said being pregnant meant peeing became your new hobby. At least she would do it quietly.

It didn’t take me long to take the dirt path up the mountain a bit. Even in the dark it was easy to traverse. I took special care to watch out for branches. I didn’t need the other side of my face to look like I’d been on a date with Freddy Krueger. Sadly, he too would have friend-zoned me I was sure. It was a cold but clear morning, worthy of the jacket and the thermal underwear I was wearing. I looked ridiculous, but what the heck. I could see my breath as I walked with my hands in my jacket pockets. There were still a few stars twinkling in the just-before-dawn sky; the moon was doing its best to hang on too. A few birds were already up and chirping away. In fact, it kind of sounded like the way Josephine whined at my dad. Those poor male birds.

By the time I got situated on the stone-cold, moss-covered ledge, I didn’t have to wait long for the sun to start creeping up behind the mountain range in front of me. In the golden and orange hues, I saw my mother. She was a light in the dark. Everything she touched was all the better for it. She helped people feel warmth and to grow. Tears started to stream down my cheeks and bandages just thinking about all the good she had done not only for me, but my friends and family, even strangers.

“Why did you have to go?” I whispered. I swore I heard her say, I’m still here. I held my heart, where she would live as long as it still beat.

I pulled up my knees and wrapped myself up. I needed the hug. That’s when I noticed some movement down below. Sawyer emerged from his tent looking like a sexy lumberjack in a flannel shirt and tight jeans. Even from this distance I was swooning. Oddly, his sights landed on me as soon as he had zipped his tent and stretched. He waved up at me.

I waved back, even though I was annoyed with him and ready to lay into him about the torture I had endured earlier this morning. I was surprised no one had been awoken by the goddess and her titillating pee session.

He wasted no time making his way up to me.

I ran my fingers through my rat’s nest hair and wished I had a breath mint. Oh well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen me first thing in the morning before. We’d fallen asleep together a couple of times on my couch watching movies, but I was never wearing hiking boots and thermal underwear with pandas on them. It was quite the fashion statement. Not that it mattered, right? He’d probably be sneaking off with Shelby soon to have a private rendezvous in the forest. Jenna and Brad already had yesterday. Something about nature was such a turn-on to guys. She’d come back with pine needles and twigs in her hair. I plucked them out like the good friend I was while Brad strutted around like a peacock.

It didn’t take long before I heard the telltale signs of someone approaching, the snaps of fallen twigs and the crunch of gravel.

I took a deep breath and tried to steel my heart. I hoped one of these times it would work. No luck, my heart still pitter, pitter, pitter, pattered when Sawyer came around the bend. His dark curls looked even more sexy mussed, and his layer of scruff was the perfect addition to his tight jawline. But I remembered the blonde in my tent stealing my covers and my clothes.

I scowled at him. “I don’t like you right now.”

He laughed and plopped down right next to me smelling sexy like campfire, musk, and perspiration. “How’s your face this morning? Let me check under the bandage.” He reached up to do just that.

I batted his hand away. “I’m fine. I’m annoyed with you.”

He smirked. “I heard the show this morning.”

“You owe me.”

“Name it and it’s yours.”

Sawyer King. If only if it was that simple, I would shout his name and claim him all mine. Instead, I rubbed my hands together and blew on them because it was freaking cold out. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”

Sawyer took my hands and rubbed them between his own. Oh crap, did that feel good. Don’t hyperventilate, Emma.

“Did you forget your gloves?”

All I could do was stare at him. I knew I should be responding but all my mind could focus on was the buzz he was giving me. I was beginning to feel plenty warm all over. “Um . . . surprisingly,” I could hardly breathe, “I didn’t. Your girlfriend needed them, so I let her borrow them.”

His brow crinkled. “Shelby’s not my girlfriend.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine, the girl you’re dating. Semantics.”

“Em.” He stopped rubbing my hands but kept ahold of them. “I’m not dating Shelby, nor do I have any plans to.”

“Whatever you say, but just so you know, she’s a Hobbs.”

Sawyer’s eyes popped. “As in—”

“Yes, as in the corporate giant you work for, and she’s on the rebound, by the way.” Hardcore, as far as I could tell.

He shrugged. “That’s too bad, but like I said, I’m not interested. She’s not really my type.”

If that was the case, I had no hope. Who the heck was he looking for? Miss Universe? “You know, as your friend, I should tell you that you really need to lower your standards.”

He chuckled. “I have no intention of lowering them.”

I took my hands back and shoved them in my jacket pockets, depressed. I stared out into the still landscape, soaking in nature.

“How are you feeling? It’s been a year today.”

A tear trickled down my cheek. “I’m okay. Thank you for setting all this up, even if I had to teach your girlfriend, I mean friend, how to pee.”

He didn’t laugh. He only tucked some hair behind my ear. “I’m thankful for your mom, Em.”

I turned toward him and caught a blast of his sparkling amber eyes. “You are?”

“She brought us together.”

I nodded. “Yeah, she did. Even if it was embarrassing.”

He flashed me a toothy smile. “That first conversation was something else. I’ll never forget it.” He poked my chin. “I see you’ve decided to grow that chin hair out after all.”

I batted his hand away, wishing I had some tweezers and privacy. “Hey, you promised to never mention that.” And I’d promised to show him how to walk on water, but that was supposed to be on our first date, which never happened. He’d never mentioned it since.

“Did I?” He nudged me.

“Yes, along with some other things.”

“I know, Em.” His tone turned surprisingly sober. He gazed into my eyes for several seconds without speaking, making it feel as warm as the noonday sun. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about some . . . things.”

“What things?” I whispered.

He took a deep breath. “Things didn’t exactly . . . what I mean to say is . . . I’ve been waiting.”

“Waiting? Waiting for what?”

“Time and—”

“Sawyer! Brother, where are you?” Ashton’s booming voice echoed down below.

Sawyer tensed and tried to ignore his brother. “Em . . .” He let out a big breath.

“Sawyer!” Ashton yelled even louder.

“Damnit, I’m always getting interrupted.” Sawyer rubbed his neck.

“Are you okay?” He rarely swore.

“Yeah. We’ll talk later.”

I nodded, confused.

Without another word, he got up and marched off down the trail. He made good time back to camp. I watched from my perch as he talked to Ashton right in his face. He was kicking the dirt around him. Before I knew it, Ashton had taken off in his SUV. What was all that about? And what was Sawyer going to say to me?

I had this strange feeling of déjà vu, like once again my name had stolen something from me.