Chapter Eight

There was something extremely satisfying about bowling. Balls colliding with pins and the sound it made. And there was something about sliding in bowling shoes on the wood floors. It was like ice skating, but not as cold. Or maybe it was the view. Holy crap, Sawyer’s butt. Or maybe Sawyer was a butt. He wouldn’t take no for an answer when he’d asked me to go bowling with him tonight. He’d gone as far as holding my phone, which I’d left at the comedy club last night, hostage until I’d agreed. This all went down on my office phone at the plant. The Band-Aid was never coming off at this rate. I had pretty much resigned myself to getting a fungal infection from not letting my skin breathe. Make that my heart. Yep, fungus of the heart. That’s what I had.

I was surprised Shelby hadn’t come. Maybe she was packing for our camping trip tomorrow. I was miffed she was coming. I was certain Mom wouldn’t want her there. Sawyer apologized but felt like he couldn’t tell her no when she asked what he was doing this weekend and she asked if she could come. Apparently, she loved to camp and that’s one thing she’d been dying to do since she’d moved to Colorado. More like she’d been dying to share a tent with Sawyer. If that happened, I wasn’t sure what I would do. For now, I was praying Miss Sunshine had her own tent. What she and Sawyer did was none of my business, but I didn’t need to be a witness to it, especially since this weekend highlighted so much of what I had already lost. Although, if they shared a tent, it would rip that Band-Aid off in the most painful fashion ever. It would be a quick cure for fungal heart.

Sawyer missed a spare by one point. I stood to take my turn, trying not to smirk. “Bummer. Looks like I’m still winning,” I taunted him from near the ball return.

“We’re only in frame five. I’ve got this.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

He met me by the ball return and flipped my hair that I had partially styled, which meant I’d run a flat iron through it a few times. “I’m feeling lucky tonight,” he whispered.

My cheeks blew up like a chipmunk gathering nuts while I held my breath and seriously contemplated that stupid suggestion Jenna gave me. Too bad I’d only been drinking Dr. Pepper. I wasn’t sure I could say, sorry my elevated blood sugar made my lips fall on yours. Maybe I could use the excuse that last night’s kiss from that stupid game Jenna and Brad made me play was so awful that I needed something to make up for it. My cheeks deflated, and I blew so much air out Sawyer backed up. “Sorry, I was just thinking about that kiss last night.”

Sawyer’s brow furrowed. “So, you liked it?”

“No. It’s not exactly how I like to meet guys, and that idiot tried to stick his tongue in my mouth.”

“Is that why you punched him? I thought it was part of the game. Pucker or Sucker.” He grimaced.

Dumbest game ever, and completely made up by Jenna so she could see how Sawyer would react to me kissing someone. Her report was that while the crowd was supposed to be clapping and cheering as loud as they could—because the louder they were, the closer Jenna and Brad pushed me and that idiot together—Sawyer was doing neither. And when that guy kissed me, Sawyer stood up, concerned, as Jenna put it. Brotherly concern, I was sure.

“It was a good sucker punch, if I do say so myself.”

Sawyer grinned.

I turned to get my bowling ball from the ball return.

“So . . .” Sawyer let out a heavy breath, “tongue is out for a first kiss?”

I snorted and turned toward him, almost dropping the bowling ball. “What kind of question is that?”

He ran his hand through his wavy hair. “A guy can’t be too careful nowadays. These are good things to know. I’m just trying to get a pulse on how women feel on these issues.”

“Taking a poll, are you?”

“Maybe.” He flashed me his sparkling smile.

I thought for a moment. “Hmm. Well, I would say if you are strangers, definitely no tongue, but it would probably be best not to go around kissing strangers; that would certainly land you in hot water.”

“What if you know the guy?”

“How well?”

“Very.”

“If we knew each other that well, he would know exactly how to proceed if he kissed me.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m saying he would instinctively know by how I respond to his kiss whether he should risk slipping me his tongue.”

“You wouldn’t want him to ask?”

I laughed. “Uh. No. That would totally kill the mood. ‘Hey baby, would you like to feel some of my papillae?’”

Sawyer chuckled. “Sounds romantic to me.”

“Try that on your next date and let me know how it goes.” On second thought, please don’t. I didn’t need to hear any tonsil hockey stories between him and Miss Sunshine.

“So, let me clarify, if you know the guy well and you’re attracted to him, tongue is totally appropriate for a first kiss?”

“That sounds about right, unless he’s Jude Law. He can French kiss me any day without introduction or delay.”

Sawyer narrowed his eyes. “He’s getting so old.”

“He’s refining with age. Speaking of Jude Law, do you want to watch The Holiday later?” Crap! That invitation slipped out before I remembered I should be trying to be prevent fungal heart. It was just so easy to want to be around Sawyer. Plus, he always brought my favorite caramel popcorn with him. And he always had a tissue ready to go for when I cried during the scene where Jude Law tells Cameron Diaz he loves her. Maybe that’s what I should do. Swap houses with someone in England for a week and pray they had an amazing brother I wasn’t related to who comes to visit and wants to make out with me passionately, sight unseen. I would definitely be amenable to tongue in that scenario.

Sawyer shook his head at me, amused. “Sure.”

“First, I need to finish kicking your butt.”

He waved his arm out for me to proceed. I was about to until an unfamiliar voice said, “Sawyer.”

Both Sawyer and I turned to see a man and a woman standing pensively by the chairs in our lane. The handsome gray-haired man looked so familiar to me, but I couldn’t place him. The younger woman next to him, gripping his hand was probably in her mid-forties with long, blonde hair. They were an attractive couple, whoever they were.

“Dad.” Sawyer’s hand clenched until his knuckles were white.

What? I dropped the dumb ball, barely missing my toe. Sawyer jumped into action and swooped up the ball before placing it back in the ball return for me. I could feel Sawyer’s body shake next to me. Without thinking, I took his hand. Never once had I initiated such contact, but it seemed so natural. For me, our hands were meant for each other. He accepted my hand without a second thought, squeezing it.

“Are you okay,” I whispered.

He said nothing, but continued to stare at his father. The familiarity I had recognized in him became obvious. Sawyer looked so much like his father, from the curl in his hair to his build. They even shared the unusual amber eyes. Sawyer was going to be a babe in his late fifties.

Mr. King braved moving toward us. The woman he was with continued to cling to him and followed alongside him. I recognized pleading in the unknown woman’s eyes, like she was asking Sawyer to please not turn them away. The closer they got, the tighter Sawyer’s grip on my hand became.

“Son, it’s good to see you,” a nervous Mr. King stuttered. “Who’s this lovely young lady with you?”

Sawyer continued to stare hard at his father while pins and balls collided around us. I had a feeling Sawyer’s insides were doing the same thing.

I wasn’t sure what to do, but I hated the awkward silence. “I’m Emma Loveless.” I held out my free hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Sawyer whipped his head toward me with eyes agape as if he couldn’t believe I was fraternizing with the enemy. His dad looked so kind and his physical appearance reminded me so much of Sawyer’s it was hard not to be polite.

Mr. King gratefully took my hand and shook it. “The pleasure is all mine. I’m Warren, by the way.” His wide smile looked exactly like Sawyer’s toothy grin. It made me smile. Warren looked at the woman near his side. “This is Bridget.”

Sawyer’s grip reached vice-like levels. Was this the woman? Sawyer had never mentioned a name or whether his dad was still with her. She looked so nice. So opposite Stepmommy Dearest. She was pretty, but she wasn’t stunning like Josephine. Bridget was more naturally beautiful. No collagen or fillers. She even had a muffin top. This was my kind of woman.

Bridget held out her small, semi-rough hand. I noticed some dirt under her fingernails. I was liking her more and more. That was, unless she was the man stealer and the reason why my dad was now married to Sawyer’s mom.

I took her hand, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

“It’s nice to meet you, Emma.” She dared to catch Sawyer’s gaze. “It’s nice to see you again, Sawyer. It’s been too long.”

Sawyer scoffed.

“I’ve missed you, son.” Warren held his breath, waiting to be lambasted for his remark.

Sawyer said nothing, but stared coldly at them.

“What brings you here tonight?” I couldn’t help but try and make the situation more comfortable. But seriously, what a dumb question. Why else do you go to a bowling alley? Believe me, the snack bar wasn’t worth the trip.

Warren’s smile thanked me. “It’s date night for us. Looks like for you too.”

I cleared my throat and regrettably dropped Sawyer’s hand. “Oh, um . . . we’re just . . .”

“This is Dane’s daughter,” Sawyer jumped in unwillingly.

Warren and Bridget both tipped their heads.

“When Emma was a baby, her mother married Dane after her first husband died.”

They nodded like that cleared up the last name discrepancy.

“We are sorry about the loss of your mother,” Bridget offered.

“Thank you,” I replied.

Warren looked between Sawyer and me with interest. A hint of a smile could be seen in his eyes. I had seen those glints in Sawyer’s many times. “It’s nice you two are . . . friends.”

It was freaking dandy.

Warren scrubbed a hand over his face while taking a deep breath. “Would you mind if we used the lane next to yours? I would love to catch up with you.” His eyes begged Sawyer’s before he focused on me. “And I’d like to get to know you better.”

“That would be great,” I responded without thinking. Warren had this effect on me, like Sawyer. He was so easy to like, just like his son.

Sawyer didn’t appreciate my willingness one bit. He grabbed my hand. “Can I speak to you?” He didn’t wait for my response before he began pulling me away toward the shoe rental counter. By the time we got there, Sawyer’s face was a dark shade of red. I’d never seen him angry before and I hated that it was directed toward me. He let go of my hand. “Em, what are you doing?”

I glanced over at a forlorn Warren before focusing back on a seething Sawyer. “He’s your dad and he obviously cares about you.”

“He left my mom for Bridget.”

Oh. So she was the woman. She looked so nice. I was having a hard time hating her. “I didn’t know that, but Sawyer, he’s your father.”

“You don’t know what it’s like to have your dad betray his family.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Not in the way you experienced it, but . . .” I hesitated, “when my dad struck up a relationship with your mom so soon after my mother’s death, that felt like a betrayal to me.”

Sawyer opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He took a deep breath and let it out. The red began to dissipate from his face.

“I don’t know everything that went on in your family, but if you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen. But I do know what it’s like to lose a parent and how much I would give to talk to my mom again if for only one second, or to even have my dad reach out to me now.” My eyes teared up.

“Em.” Sawyer rested his hand on my arm. “Your dad loves you.”

I wiped my eyes. “From the looks of it, your dad loves you too. And aren’t you the one who told me that I needed to move forward and mend my heart? Maybe it’s time for you to do the same.”

Sawyer’s head dropped while he mulled over what I had to say. “Maybe you’re right,” he spoke low.

“If you want to leave, we can; if you want to stay, I’ll help you through it.”

He tipped up his head and gave me a crooked grin. “What would I do without you?”

“You might actually win a game of bowling.” I smiled.

He pulled me to him for a hug. I settled into his chest and soaked in his clean scent. For a moment I closed my eyes and only concentrated on the strong, steady beat of his heart. What I wouldn’t have given to stay there forever. I knew I couldn’t, so I pulled away. “We better join your dad and Bridget.”

Sawyer’s brow furrowed. “Okay, Em.” But he wasn’t done torturing me; he put his arm around me on the walk over and gave me a squeeze. “Was this our first fight?”

I laughed at him. He said the strangest things sometimes. It was one of his endearing qualities. “I think I’ve had more heated discussions with the soda dispenser at the convenience store than I just had with you.”

“Well, that’s good; it means we’re good communicators.”

“If you say so.”

It didn’t take long for us to reach the lane where his dad and Bridget waited for us. This time, though, I think Bridget was keeping her distance from Warren on purpose, as if she thought it might help. Infidelity was awful, and I didn’t condone it, but I could tell Bridget loved Warren. I wanted to know their story. Whether they realized it or not, it intertwined into my own.

Warren stepped forward. “We can go.”

“Don’t,” Sawyer offered.

Warren smiled at me as if it was my doing. I suppose I had something to do with it. Both he and Bridget looked relieved.

Warren clapped his hands together. “Great. Let’s play.”

Yes, let’s play. I took my turn while Bridget and Warren set up the screen on their side. Not to brag, but I rolled a strike. Okay, I was totally bragging. I turned around and gloated. “Yes!” I high-fived Sawyer on my victory march back.

“Don’t count me out yet.”

“I’ve already counted twice, and you’re totally coming out on the losing end. You might as well get ready to pay for the ice cream tonight.” That was our friendly wager for the evening.

He reached for his ball with a serious demeanor. “This is about more than my ice cream. This is about my dignity.”

“You must have checked that at the door.” I loved talking smack with him.

“Those are fighting words.” He pulled his ball up to his chest, determined to finally best me.

“Good luck.” I threw myself into one of the chairs at the electronic scoreboard. Warren was occupying the other chair. I admit I was a tad nervous to sit next to him, but his disarming smile put me at ease. And now that I was closer to him, I noticed his arms were buff and his polo shirt said King Steam and Sauna. Huh. Sawyer never mentioned his dad owning a business. It wasn’t surprising, considering he tried to never speak of him.

“Emma Loveless, you wouldn’t be the same girl who used to be the kicker for the Pine Fall Eagles now would you?”

“That would be me.”

“You were impressive. Best high school kicker I’ve ever seen.”

“I’m not sure about that, but I had fun doing it.”

“I could tell. And if memory serves me correctly, I think the night we watched you play you were made homecoming queen.”

That memory held dueling emotions for me. It was a happy memory. I was honored to have been chosen, but it was accentuated by the fact that no one had asked me to the dance. “You have a good memory.” I smiled. Though it probably wasn’t every day you saw a girl get crowned homecoming queen wearing a football uniform and pads.

“It’s not as good as it used to be, but I do remember telling Sawyer that night if he wanted to be happy, to choose a girl like you—a girl who wasn’t afraid to get dirty but knew how to stand tall and keep her crown on straight.”

Wow. I didn’t know what to say. It was a profound and flattering statement, but so depressing knowing that was never happening. I wanted to ask how Sawyer responded back then, but present him caught my attention with his victory dance by the ball return.

“Strike, baby.” He pointed at me.

“I’m still ahead by twenty points,” I taunted him while standing up. “Why don’t you take a seat while I go get a refill on my Dr. Pepper?”

Sawyer knew what I was doing. He looked between me and his dad, uncertainty flooding his eyes. I could understand the hurt and hesitation. With my eyes, I tried to convey that I was here for him and I believed in him. I knew he had it in him to forgive his dad.

Sawyer approached slowly, but he came, and that was the most important part.

“Do you want a bottle of water?” I asked him. He didn’t really believe in drinking his calories. No one was perfect.

“I’m good.”

“Yeah, you are.” I gave him a wink and left him to spend a few minutes with his dad.

“I’ll come with you.” Bridget finished tying her bowling shoes and stood.

This was going to be awkward hanging out with the mistress, but it was good of her to give father and son a few minutes alone.

Bridget and I walked to the snack bar with our hands in our pockets. I almost started whistling because I thought it would be funny, but instead my mouth took over and went with an embarrassing question. “So how long have you and Warren been together?” Smooth move, Emma. Way to serve up the elephant in the room on a crap platter.

Bridget’s kind brown eyes, while shocked, looked understanding. “I suppose Sawyer hasn’t said anything about me.”

“Not once.”

She nodded. “That makes sense.”

We each took a stool at the snack bar. “Dr. Pepper, please,” I ordered before turning my attention to a nervous Bridget. “I’m sorry I tossed that question out there. Sometimes my mouth and brain have a serious disconnect.”

She was nice enough to laugh. “I’ve been there, and I don’t blame you for being interested. You and Sawyer are obviously close, so it’s only natural.”

“He’s one of my best friends.”

“Friends, huh?”

“Yes, friends.”

She gave me a coy smile. “If you say so.”

I knew so.

She turned in her stool and looked at father and son trying to have a conversation. I did the same. Even from a distance you could tell it was uncomfortable. Sawyer was hardly looking at Warren and all Warren could do was look at his son in adoration.

“I’ve known Sawyer since he was in high school. I moved next door to his family to help take care of my ailing father.”

Yikes. Were they having an affair all those years? I did know Sawyer’s parents had only been divorced for three years.

She turned my way. “I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no.” Her head lowered. “For many years we were only friendly neighbors. Sawyer used to mow my dad’s yard when he was in high school and when he came home for the summers during college. He was a sweet kid. He would never let me pay him. I didn’t know Josephine well; she spent a lot of time away from home. And Warren and I . . . well . . . he was helpful with doing minor repairs around the house. He knew Dad didn’t have a lot of money and what I earned mostly went toward my dad’s medical bills. We never meant for any of this to happen, though we know we are to blame.” She rubbed her lips together. “We were both lonely and dealing with loss. My father was dying, and his marriage was. We let our emotional connection go too far. For that, I’m ashamed. As far as how long we’ve been together, that’s a hard question.”

I tilted my head. How hard could it be? The math had to be simple.

She looked up and tucked some hair behind her ear. “We only had one, uh . . . physical encounter while he was married.”

That was a nice way of putting it.

“The guilt was too much for us to take,” she continued. “He confessed to Josephine right away. As you can imagine, it spelled the end for them. This sounds awful, but it was a relief for Warren to be out of his marriage. But it devastated him to lose his relationship with Sawyer. Those two were very close. Ashton has been more forgiving, but Sawyer wanted nothing to do with his father. That ate at both of us, so we decided it was best not to see each other. We both hated that our relationship caused so much damage and I think we both wondered with his marriage gone and my father passed away if what we had was even real.”

“Did Sawyer know you broke things off?”

“Warren told him he would do whatever it took to make things right between them, even if that meant not seeing me, but the damage had been done. That was a few years ago.” She gave me a small smile. “You must wonder why we are together now.”

I nodded. Did it make me bad that I was so curious?

“I moved out of my dad’s house after he passed away, but last year, Warren and I literally ran into each other on the ski slopes. I lost my footing and ran smack into him on a black diamond run.”

They must be good skiers to navigate black diamond slopes. I preferred the intermediate blue slopes. “Sounds like something that would happen to me.”

She grinned and nodded. “If you’re not willing to be embarrassed, you’re not really living, right?”

I tilted my head. “That sounds like something my mom would have said.”

Bridget patted my knee. “It’s funny how we still hear them after they’re gone, isn’t it?”

“I hear my mom talking to me so much, sometimes I think I’m crazy,” I admitted.

“I don’t think so. I think the connection between a parent and child is strong, it supersedes death and it feels like death when it’s severed in life.”

Bridget spoke to my heart. I felt that way about both my mother and my father respectively. I glanced at Sawyer and his dad. They must be feeling that same pain. “It must be hard for you and Warren to be together.”

“More than you know. We discovered that day on the slopes and the days after that what we had was real. The best relationship either one of us has ever had, but there were consequences for our wrong choices early on in our relationship. Our happiness will never be complete until we have Sawyer’s blessing.”

My brows raised. “I think that’s a tall order.”

“Maybe impossible.”

“I don’t know. Give it some time. Sawyer has a good heart.”

She squinted, studying me. Then her eyes lit up in an ah-ha moment. “Warren and I would love it if you two would come have dinner with us.”

“Do you live together?” My hand flew to my mouth. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

She wasn’t upset at all, in fact, she smiled. “Don’t apologize. You’re protective of Sawyer. I respect that.” She leaned toward me. “But the answer is no, we don’t.” She blew out a deep breath. “We have no intention of marrying until we can make things right with Sawyer.”

“What if that never happens?”

Her entire body deflated at the thought. “If I have to, I’ll leave Warren for the sake of Sawyer.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

I took her hand, though I barely knew her. “I’ll see what I can do.”

She patted my hand. “This may sound weird, but I feel like we’re supposed to know each other.”

You know what was weirder? I felt the same way. Not sure how I was going to explain that to Sawyer.