I blink, but it won’t go away.
Double.
Blink. Blink. Blink.
Still double.
Fuck.
My stomach turns and clenches. If I throw up one more fucking time, I’m going to be pissed. As if thinking about it encourages it, bile rises in my throat. I jerk from my bed and stumble. This double vision shit is maddening. Blindly, I reach out in front of me as I head for the bathroom. My shoulder painfully clips the doorframe and I barely get to my knees before vomit is spewing from me. I heave incessantly, expelling all the contents of my stomach.
I don’t know what time it is, but if I don’t pull my shit together soon, Casey and Torin will wonder where I’m at. Groaning, I attempt to get up from the floor, but I can’t fucking do it.
He warned me.
He warned me, goddammit.
Fury wells up inside me, but it doesn’t give me the strength I need. I’m frustrated and overwhelmed.
Creeeaaak.
A strong arm wraps around my torso and lifts me from the ground as though I’m not two hundred pounds of dead weight. Torin. My Torin. My complicated brother is here. He hauls me back into the bedroom and with surprising gentleness helps me into bed. I lie back against the pillow, fighting another wave of nausea, and look up at him. His hood is pulled back and his hair is a mess. In an assessing manner, his eyes dart all over me. I remember this same look when I was seventeen and he was just ten. He’d been having screaming episodes that were driving Dad absolutely insane. We were at a loss on how to help him. Three therapists in one week. Shit was bad.
Until I got in a car accident.
Broke my collarbone and got banged up pretty badly, but overall I was fine. My car, on the other hand, was totaled. When Dad and Torin showed up at the hospital, my brother walked straight over to my bed and stared down at me. The same damn look in his eyes. Worry. Love. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to fix me in his mind. Oddly enough, the screaming spells stopped after the accident. It was also the first time Torin truly looked into my eyes.
“I’m fine,” I offer, my voice shaking and a soft murmur.
He grunts and starts pacing my bedroom, his fingers spearing through his messy hair. I close my eyes because watching him move back and forth is making me sick to my stomach again. I want to tell him I’ll be fine, but I can’t even form words.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
His footsteps disappear and then he’s gone.
My stomach churns and my head is seconds from blowing up. The incessant throbbing inside my skull is making me fucking crazy. I ponder how messy it would be if I took a pick and hammer to my head. Just crack it right open and relieve some pressure. Fuck, that is so tempting.
“Tyler.” A voice so soft. An angel’s voice. The bed depresses next to me as small, soft hands ghost over me.
Protect her. Protect her. You must protect her.
I try to smile, but I don’t think it works. The floorboards creak as Torin takes back to pacing beside the bed.
“Is it your head? Can I call your doctor?” Casey questions, her voice steady and strong.
With my eyes closed, I absently reach for her and am thankful when she wraps both of her tiny hands around my much bigger one. She squeezes my hand before kissing a knuckle.
“Torin, we need some ginger ale and some crackers. Can you get me some?”
The panel in the wall creaks open and then he disappears, the house groaning as he moves within the walls. Casey starts to pull away and panic slices through me, sharp and painful.
“Don’t leave me,” I plead.
She leans forward and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
My room goes quiet, which does wonders for the pounding in my head. I fade in and out of a pained sleep until I realize they’re both in the room with me again. Both Torin and Casey are helping me sit up, her whispering commands to him. Commands that he obeys. I want to marvel over their relationship, but I can’t fucking think.
“Take this one,” she urges. “It’s for pain.”
I swallow down the pill—a pill I recognize—chasing it down with the ginger ale. She gets me to eat a few crackers and then makes me drink more. After about fifteen minutes, I’m marginally better. My head hurts like a motherfucker, but at least I don’t want to puke anymore. I glance at Casey. She’s dressed in a tiny pair of shorts and tank top. He must have woken her up. I’d seen her in something similar the day I’d found her in my bed. The day I’d unknowingly had my hand up her shirt. I glance at her peaked nipples and disgust ripples through me.
“You’re cold,” I mutter before closing my eyes and lying back on the pillows.
Protect her. Protect her. You must protect her.
Torin grunts and then he tosses something at her. She lets out a surprised gasp. When I peek my eyes open, I see he’s given her his hoodie and she’s putting it on. I flash him a grateful smile. Not only is she warm now, I don’t feel like a fucking perv looking at her half-naked body.
“Tyler,” Casey says, her words terse. “What are all these medications for? They aren’t all for migraines.”
I follow to where she’s gesturing on my nightstand. So many prescription bottles. “Those were locked in my desk drawer,” I complain. I know what else was locked in that desk drawer. One day, I suppose, she’ll sift through all of the things I keep hidden away. She deserves answers. I owe her that.
Protect her. Protect her. You must protect her.
She laughs. “I work with you in your office every day. I observe things, Ty. I know where you keep the key.”
A smile touches my lips, but it doesn’t fully form. I want to hug her to me and thank her for being so perceptive. Torin picks up each bottle, reading the labels. Once he’s read them all, he turns his head and utter heartbreak flashes in his eyes. Confusion. Anger.
Fuck.
There’s no turning back now.
“Casey,” I utter. “Can you give me a moment with my brother?”
She nods, her eyebrows knitted together in a worried fashion, and leaves the bedroom. As soon as she leaves, I extend my hand to my brother. His hands are now in fists as he glares at me. When he doesn’t reach out to touch me, I let my arm fall against the mattress.
“Torin, there’s something I have to tell you.”
The room goes silent until I let out a ragged breath.
And while he knows certain things I’m not ready to divulge, based on his Thanksgiving outburst where he hurt Casey’s feelings, he’s going to lose his shit over this.
This is bigger.
This is worse.