Zach walked over to the pounding door before wrenching it open. He was ready to blast whoever was knocking at seven in the morning on a Sunday—the one day a week he slept in. Golden stood on the other side, glaring at him.
“What’re you doing here?”
“I thought we might talk, you and I.”
Zach frowned. What did Golden want to talk to him about? “Come in,” he offered.
The guy entered, looking as cool and polished as ever… all while Zach stood there in his skivvies. “Give me a moment to get some clothes on.”
“I won’t be long,” Golden said.
Zach met the guy’s arrogant stare.
“I heard you called my husband’s name while in bed with another man.”
Zach felt every ounce of blood in his body go to his face. “I… I…” He paused, closed his mouth and took a deep breath. “It was an accident.” He searched for a legitimate reason why he would’ve said Jax’s name. “They… look so much alike.”
“I knew you had a hard-on for my husband. It’s why I suggested you go to the Kent Street project.”
Zach frowned. “Honestly… yeah, I’m attracted to Jax, but I never, ever did anything about it. I know he loves you. And you love him… and I would never get between you two.”
“No, you just jumped into bed with his clone. Couldn’t get the one you wanted, so you took the next best thing.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Then how was it?” Golden demanded.
Zach paused, his mind a whirl of emotion. He’d been thinking about the whole situation all week, trying to explain it to himself. “I don’t make a habit of falling into bed with just anyone. Sure… the fact he looked like Jax caught my attention… I was stunned… but it wasn’t just that. He was… comfortable. I liked being around him.”
I liked the way he looked at me. I liked the hunger in his eyes. I liked the way he kissed me and made me feel.
Jax had barely noticed him. It felt as if Jason had seen inside Zach every time the man looked his way.
He’d felt wanted.
“If I wasn’t married to Jax anymore… which one of them would you want?”
Jason. He was stunned by how quickly the answer came to his mind. “Jason,” he said. “I’d want Jason. But that won’t happen now.”
“Do you know that Jason and Jax didn’t speak to one another for about a decade?”
Zach shook his head. “No.”
“When they were in their early twenties, Jason was engaged to a woman named Collette.” Golden sighed. “I likely shouldn’t be telling you this, but for some reason I think you should know.” Golden met his stare. “I’m telling you this in confidence… and this is your last chance with me.”
“Got it,” Zach said.
“Jax didn’t think Jason and Collette would work. He was right, they were a terrible match, but Jason couldn’t see it. What Jax did next was wrong… really, really wrong. He was young and stupid and Jason couldn’t forgive his brother for a long, long time after it.” Golden paused. “Jax slept with Collette in Jason’s bed just to prove the woman would go to bed with anyone, even his brother.”
Zach winced. “Did she know it was Jax?”
“She did. And went willingly. She even tried to convince Jason to join them when he walked in on them.”
Zach groaned.
“It took them a decade to be able to move past it and mend their relationship. It’s only been a couple of years since they’ve worked it out. Their relationship was good, but then Jason got drunk last night and lashed out at Jax.”
“And told you both what I said,” Zach added, sure he was right from the look Golden gave him. He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Who else knows?”
“Just Jax and I.”
At least word hadn’t spread. “It was a mistake, Golden. I didn’t mean to do it… I didn’t mean to hurt him. I knew whose bed I was in, and I wanted to be with him, not Jax. I don’t even remember saying it… fuck… have I messed things up between them?”
“We’ll see once Jason wakes up from his hangover. Jax is fine… but I think the two of them will need a good, long talk.”
“Tell Jax I’m sorry.” He wouldn’t be able to face the man now.
“Have you apologized to Jason?”
“Repeatedly.”
Golden looked thoughtful a moment. “Keep doing it. Don’t give up.”
Zach frowned. “Why?”
“A guy who usually doesn’t drink much doesn’t go get shit-faced unless he feels hurt. He doesn’t feel hurt unless something matters to him.”
“I’m sure the hurt comes from me reminding him of what Jax did. We barely know one another.”
“From the look on your face when you told me what happened, I can tell he already matters to you,” Golden said.
Zach met Golden’s stare. Jason did matter to him. From the first moment he met the man, he sensed how good it felt to be with him.
“Keep apologizing. Until he listens,” Golden said before turning toward the door. “I’ll do what I can from my end,” he said from over one shoulder.
“Why?” Zach asked. “Why would you want to help me?”
Golden paused at the door and turned around. “When I came here, I wasn’t planning on it. I was going to ream your ass for hurting Jason and for causing a rift between him and Jax… but then I saw your face and I changed my mind. Don’t make me regret it.”
“I won’t.”
Golden smiled slightly before turning and leaving.
Zach leaned up against the hallway wall and tried to wrap his head around what had just happened.
* * * *
Jason climbed out of bed, cradling his aching head. He could hear the shouts and laughter outside, as well as the splashing of water. They reminded him of the past… of him, Jax, Linc, and Colt out in the water all summer long as his grandparents watched from the back porch.
Back in a time when they were all close and there were no bad memories. Jax and Jason’s parents were still alive. Grandparents, too, of course. Before Collette and before the decade they’d lost.
Damn, I wish we could go back there and redo it all.
He pulled his jeans over his briefs and stumbled out into the hall. After descending the stairs, he went in search of Tylenol and coffee. He already smelled the scent of a pot and hoped there was some left for him. When he made his way into the kitchen, he saw Jax sitting at the island, drinking a cup of his own.
“Morning,” Jax muttered.
“Morning,” Jason said, his voice froggy. He crossed the kitchen, grabbed a cup and then poured himself a cup. “You got anything for a headache?”
“In the cabinet over the sink.”
Jason walked over and grabbed the bottle before emptying three into his hand. The whole damned bottle wasn’t enough to rid him of the killer pounding in his head. He swallowed the three with the help of the java before returning the bottle to the cabinet.
Turning to Jax, he grinned. “I think I had too much last night.”
“You want to talk about it?”
Jason frowned. “Talk about what?”
“The things you said last night.”
Jason took a seat at the island, tensing as he sensed Jax wasn’t pleased. “Last night’s a blur. What did I say?”
“You offered to fuck my husband.”
Jason spat out the coffee he’d just sipped. He grabbed a paper towel and wiped it up. “Jax… I was apparently out of my mind.”
Jax turned to look at him. “You said it after saying I fuck everything that’s yours. And then you told Golden that Zach called out my name when he was with you.”
Jason shut his eyes tight, his already aching head pounding even harder. Fuck. “I’m sorry, Jax. I don’t want Golden.”
“I know you don’t. But it makes me wonder if we’re as good as I thought we were.”
Jason met his twin’s stare. “We are.”
“You still seem to resent what happened with Collette.”
“I don’t,” Jason said. “I’m glad I didn’t marry that woman.” He paused, rubbing his aching head before looking up. “I didn’t like the way it went down, but we’ve both grown up and past that.”
“I know I’ve apologized a million times… but you do know how sorry I am for being that big of an asshole, right?”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” Jason said. “I forgave you a long time ago.”
“Have you? Really?”
“I was drunk and apparently an asshole.” He shook his head. “I like Zach. I won’t lie. It stung when he called your name. And yeah, maybe it took me back to the past. I’m sorry I said those things.”
He didn’t even remember saying them.
He then saw an image of Zach saying almost the same thing to him. Jason had been so hard on Zach… maybe too hard? Maybe there was a little resentment still lingering from the past, after all. Had he put all his own baggage on Zach’s shoulders?
“He’s a good guy, but don’t let Golden hear that I said that.”
“Don’t let Golden hear what?” Golden said as he came around the corner.
Jax sat up straighter. “Nothing, sweetheart.”
Golden laid his keys on the counter. “Sure.”
“Where did you go so early in the morning?” Jax said. “I woke up to an empty bed this morning.”
“I left you a note.”
“Be back soon. From where?”
“I had a little thing I needed to clear up at home I’d forgotten about. Only took a few minutes and now I’m back to relax and enjoy the lake house with you,” Golden said, pressing close to his husband.
Jason watched the pair and felt the familiar swell of jealousy. He wanted what the pair of them had. A lover. A friend. Someone that was his and his alone.
Not pining for his brother.
He barely knew Zach… but there had been something about the man that had drawn him in. Something that had been more than a physical reaction. Something that made him feel like the guy could’ve been that someone for him in time.
Had he been so wrong?
“Are we going swimming?” Jax asked Golden, pulling the hem of Golden’s polo from his shorts.
“Foreplay in the water? Sure,” Golden murmured.
“I didn’t need to hear that,” Jason grumbled.
Golden laughed. “Wanna come out with us?”
“I need to nurse this hangover. I think I’ll pass,” he said, taking another drink from his cup.
Jax rose and crossed the kitchen. “I’m going to get into my trunks.”
“I’ll be right up,” Golden called before turning to Jason.
Jason felt blood rising to his face. “About last night…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Golden said, smiling, almost wickedly. “I don’t hold grudges. People make mistakes, and if they’re truly sorry, they should be forgiven.”
Jason met his stare, and a shiver rose up his spine. “Where’d you go this morning?”
“To see Zach.”
Jason closed his eyes and pinched his nose before lifting his gaze to his brother-in-law. “Why?”
“To see if he deserves your forgiveness.”
Silence hung between them for a second.
“By the way… I think he does,” Golden said before walking from the room and leaving Jason to mull on the comment.
He scrubbed his face before staring into his coffee cup.
Forgiveness… sure. After the appropriate punishment.