I'm a strong woman. I'm not weak. I was born and raised by the mob. I learned a long time ago that weak women end up dead in my world. I'm not weak, and I most certainly am not a pushover. I won't take orders from anyone! I married Jett for the sake of our baby, to give her the life she deserves, two parents who love her. Not only that, I'd fallen in love with him. However, I won't have him dictating to me where I can and can't go, nor whom I can and can't see and speak to! Jerk!

Weeks I've been practically under house arrest! I can't go anywhere without having two of either Jett's men with me or two of Draven's. I have no privacy at all!

I get it no one wants me to see my father. It could be dangerous, blah blah fucking blah, however, until they give me a good reason as to why I'll do as I damn well want.

After finding out my mother and Hammer's were twins – like, oh my god! – things have been different. Tank is now real family and not just because he's Hammer's brother. He's mine and Draven's cousin as well.

I've spent some time with Tank and Nova, getting to know them better, getting to know their little ones, whom I adore. I've always liked Tank, so now our relationship is even more special. We looked at pictures of our mother's, read some of the letters they sent to each other. Even cried a little over the picture of my mother holding Draven when he was a toddler and Hillary holding a tiny Sam in her arms. They were stood right next to each other with big smiles on their faces.

Tank and I had the picture copied and framed and gave them to Draven and Sam as a gift. They loved them. The four of us laughed how it's so obvious why the four of us look alike. It's nothing to do with Joseph Vidal and everything to do with the fact we all look like our mother's. Tank looks like his father. It's evident from the picture he showed me. However, there is no doubting each of us takes after our mother's.

I've learned so much about my mother and her sister since finding out that I feel much closer to her. I can't wait to tell Jessica all about her amazing grandmother and great aunt.

I've been feeling off all day today. I'm sick of not having any privacy, and if one more person tells me it's nothing but hormones making me feel like this, I'm going to smack them in the mouth! It has nothing to do with my hormones and everything to do with the fact I'm tired of having my life dictated to me!

I thought coming to McFadden's Restaurant to meet with some old friends would help me feel better. You know, talk about old times, what we've been up to since the last time we met up.

I don't feel better. It's not Judy and Nancy's fault they couldn't possibly know why I feel like standing in the middle of the road with my fingers in my hair, pulling it and screaming like a crazy woman. However, they're certainly not helping right now.

Having Brooke here helps, she keeps me calm. It would have been better if Abrianna could have been here, but she's with Avery right now. It seems she's always with Avery, and Avery never has time to meet me for even a small coffee.

I honestly feel like beating the hell out of my head against a brick wall right now. I don't know if it's just my hormones, but I've never felt this angry in my life before.

Although I haven't told Judy and Nancy why I feel like this, Nancy is sure making me feel like crap. I don't even know why I'm still friends with her after the way she treated Jett at our wedding. The way she looked at him like he was filth on her shoe. The way she congregated with our other friends, making it evident that she was giving them the lowdown on the dirty biker I'd been “forced to marry.”

That was what she thought, anyway. She had no damn clue. She knew I was supposed to marry Jovanni, yet she went around telling everybody that my brother forced me to marry Jett as punishment. What punishment? I don't have a clue, that lie hasn't gotten back to my ears yet. But it will.

Hell, the bitch has spread so many rumors about me over the past couple of months, I'm surprised she's still breathing!

“You can't honestly like sleeping with him?” She hasn't stopped yet. I'm already angry over things, and now she's being a bitch about my husband... I seriously feel like crying. “I know he's a decent looking guy and all...”

“But wouldn't you prefer to be with one of your own?” Judy cuts in, and by one of my own, she means Italian. Yeah, these bitches are as racist as Brooke's father, and they don't even try to hide it.

“I'd prefer for the two of you to shut your ignorant mouths!” Both women look at me like I've slapped them, which I may well do before this day is through if they don't stop. “Keep your thoughts about my husband to yourselves. I was not forced to marry him. I wanted to! I love him, and he is everything to me. I don't care whom you think he is, but you have no damn clue. Say one more thing about him, and I'll kill you both!”

“Maria, let's go, this isn't good for you or the baby.” I nod at Brooke. She's right. She's such a good friend to me, and she's kept me sane these past few weeks. She's always looking out for me. “And you two, stay away from Maria from now on. You are no friends to her. She doesn't need you in her life. Racist friends like you are not worth the effort of anyone!” I couldn't've said that better myself.

Judy and Nancy are too gobsmacked to say anything. I don't say anything either. I take Brooke's outstretched hand and let her lead me out of the restaurant.

“Why don't we go back to your place? We can pile crap on our faces that's supposed to make us look younger, and we can eat our weight in ice cream, and watch crappy movies that make us laugh even though they're not funny.”

This is why I love Brooke; she knows just what to say to make me laugh. She has such an awful home life, even if she doesn't talk about it, we all know. However, she never lets it get her down.

“Sounds like an amazing idea.”

* * *

“Thank you for this. This is exactly what I needed.”

“Girl, me too,”

Brooke and I are sitting on my couch, relaxing after just pampering ourselves. We had fun watching a movie with face masks on, our feet up and talking about the future and what we hope to gain from it.

All I want is for my baby to be born healthy, my man to always love me, and not too many stretch marks.

Brooke wants to marry Hawk, have his babies, and to be reunited with her sister. She told me all about Marine a while back. Her story pulled at my heartstrings. Marine was married off to some racist piece of crap by her father, a lesson to her for falling for an Italian exchange student.

According to Brooke, Marnie was so in love with Vitto, and he loved her fiercely. Their love was cut short when Vitto was killed in a car accident, leaving Marnie pregnant with their baby. A baby she couldn't tell her family about. Vitto wanted her to move to Italy with him as soon as his time in America was up. Marnie refused to leave Brooke behind with her monstrous father, Vitto jumped in his car and drove away. Marnie never saw him again.

What really broke my heart, other than knowing and feeling the pain Marnie must have been going through losing the love of her life, was the fact her father caused her to lose her child. I can't even begin to imagine the pain she was in during that time.

Marnie now lives a horrible life with a man who does nothing but beat and humiliate her. She's not allowed to see her family because her husband comes from a wealthy family who won't associate with ranch farmers if they don't have to.

Hearing Marine's story made me think what my own life might have been like if I had married Jovanni. The thought scared me so much that I clung to Jett as if my life depended on it that night. I didn't tell him my fears I just said to him that I needed him to hold me while I slept.

“Do you think you'll ever get away from your family?”

“I don't know, Maria. It took a lot for me to admit the truth to Hawk. I didn't want him to hate me when he found out what kind of people my family are. It was so hard to tell him how racist they are.”

I grab her hand and entwine our fingers. “Hawk would never hate you, that man loves you, Brooke.”

“I know.” She smiles. “He told me that. He said he didn't care about my family, that he'd take me away from them, help me have contact with Marnie. He said he'd protect me from my father. I know he would. I don't know I guess it's just difficult.” She sighs deeply.

I can't even imagine what it must be like for Brooke being raised that way. My mother and my brother raised me to believe every single person on this earth was born to be whom they're supposed to be. However, there will always be people out there who think it's okay to be racist, homophobic, bullies, and all that vile stuff. I don't see the world that way, not at all.

Judy even asked me a while ago what I would do if my daughter turns out to be a lesbian. It's not like it can't happen when her daddy is a dirty white biker. I had never been so angry in all of my life! What the hell did the color of her father's skin have to do with my daughter's future sexuality?

When I told Judy that I wouldn't care even if my daughter wanted a sex change and married a black man or woman, she would still be my child, and I will always love her. The shock on her face, I really thought she was going to throw up.

Bitch!

I'm glad we're no longer friends, I don't need people like her in my life. Draven never liked her or her family, but then he's never had to witness her vile attitude towards people. If he had... Well, I don't want to think about what he would have done.

“It's only as difficult as you allow it to be, Brooke. You're the best friend I ever had, and I would do anything to protect you. I know you have the whole MC behind you, but if it came to it, I'd ask my brother for help. He'd make sure you were safe from harm and that you had regular contact with your sister. No one says no to the Don.” I chuckle.

Brooke looks at me with tears in her eyes. “You'd do that for me?”

“I would do anything for you, Brooke. You're my best friend.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and cries. I can't imagine what it's like for her when her father beats her the way he does, and so often. She tries to hide it from Hawk, but I can always tell when she's been hurt. Women just know these things when it comes to their best friends.

“Don't cry, Brooke, everything will be okay, I promise.”

“I love you, Maria. So much.”

I smile. “I love you, too.”

She pulls away from me, wiping her eyes with her fingertips. “I guess I should be going, my dad's expecting me soon. I don't want to be late.” Late. If she's just one minute late, that man will hurt her so badly Hawk won't see her for days. I will never understand how a man can beat his daughter the way Brooke's father does.

I know Jett would never hurt our little girl. Our little Jessica. He'd cut his own hands off first. He's going to be a wonderful father to her. She's his everything already. Just the way it should be.

I used to believe I was that to my father. What went wrong? Why was he forced out of my life? I know Draven wouldn't have done that without a damn good reason. I just wish I knew what that was. I wrack my brain daily to find an answer that never comes.

I understand about my mother leaving my dad and then him forcing Hammer's mother to marry him as punishment. That in itself was beyond sick. How can any man justify why he forced a woman to marry him just to hurt his ex? His ex-wife's identical twin at that?

I understand that my mother took him back, it was so that Hillary could get away from him and be with Titus so they could raise Sam together as their own. My mother was selfless and wanted to protect her sister.

Neither of my brother's told me this, Tank and Jett did. Even through Draven tried to keep me in the dark, my husband and my cousin – my cousin! – thought I should know the truth.

I am so proud of my mother for protecting her sister the way she did, and in doing so, I was born.

I'm not sure I'll ever know the truth of what drove my uncle to outcast my father. I can kick, scream, demand till I'm blue in the face, but it won't make anyone tell me what really happened.

Jerks!

After saying goodbye to Brooke, I curl up on the couch and close my eyes. I'm beyond tired. Fighting with so-called friends will do that to you.

I'm drifting in and out of consciousness. I can see my mother smiling at me. Smiling the way she used to smile when she would tuck me in bed at night when I was a little girl. She would always sing me to sleep, always words she made up about how beautiful I was, how lucky she felt to have me, and how much she loved me. I wonder if she'd be proud of me for the woman I am now.

Is she proud of me for marrying my baby's father?

For falling so deeply in love with him?

For building a happy home with him for our child?

I also wonder if she's proud of my brother for the man he is. She never wanted him to be part of the famiglia. It was her biggest fear. As I assume it would be most mother's biggest fear to know their son could, at any moment of any day, be taken from her for the man he is.

Deep in my heart, Mafia Don aside, I know she's proud of Draven for raising me the way he did. The way he selflessly put his dreams on hold to make sure I had the best life he could give me.

Deep in my heart, I know she's proud of both of us.

I hope she's up there with her sister right now, both of them looking down on their children with huge smiles on their face. Content in the knowledge that we're all together at last.

I love you, Mama. Wherever you are now, I hope you're at peace.

I hope Aunt Hillary is with you, and I hope she knows that Sam and Haiden are safe with Draven and me.

I also hope Uncle Vinny is up there with you, looking down on Avery, happy that she's so happy with Ghost and little Daniel. I hope he's looking out for the baby inside of her right now. I know in my heart he's keeping them all safe.

Please watch over my little girl, Mama. Help me bring her into this world safe and sound.

I feel air brush past my cheek, and I smile in my sleepy state. That was a kiss from my mother. A kiss and a promise that she'll keep Jessica safe until she's safe in my arms.

It might sound stupid to some, believing my mother is watching over me. However, my mother was an angel on earth, I know she's one in heaven.

I believe Hillary is too. From everything I've heard about her, she was more like my mother than I could ever have imagined. They loved and protected each other fiercely. My only wish is that they'd been able to spend more time together on earth.

I know they're eternally together in heaven now.