Emmett held her hand as they waited in the small room inside the radiology department at Columbia University Medical Center. Elle had already changed into her exam gown and was finishing up her paperwork with the nurse.

Emmett thought his heart would beat out of his chest. He’d never been this frightened in his life. But he couldn’t show it.

The nurse rattled off question after question, and with each answer, Emmett felt his anxiety climbing. He wouldn’t lie to himself, he was a nervous wreck. But there was no way he’d show Elle.

She’d given him the best gift he could ever receive. Her trust. Allowing him to come with her, to be with her during the PET scan, was an honor. She’d told him in Colorado it was something she never allowed anyone to do before, so he would stay positive, no matter how scared he was inside.

Emmett reminded himself that she’d had countless scans before, that this was just routine. Or at least that’s what he’d tried to tell himself on the cab ride to the medical center. To him, it was anything but routine. This was her life though, her future, and since he planned to be a part of it for a long time, he would learn to live with the anxiety.

“Don’t worry,” she said, squeezing his hand. “They always ask a thousand questions.”

“Stop trying to comfort me,” Emmett said softly.

She smiled and nodded. “I’ll try.”

“You’ve been fasting since midnight?” the nurse asked.

“Yes,” Elle said quietly.

Emmett wanted to nod right alongside her. He hadn’t eaten much since Elle asked him to come, let alone in the last twelve hours.

“Any chance you could be pregnant?” she asked.

Elle glanced at Emmett. “No,” she said, fear written all over her face.

He gave her a reassuring smile. At least, he hoped it was reassuring. He couldn’t care less if she was fertile or not. He just wanted her healthy.

The nurse raised a brow.

“We’re going to see a fertility specialist while I’m here,” Elle said. “Later this week, after we get the results from my scan.”

The nurse smiled. “That’s good, Elle. I’m sure everything is fine. But best just to check.”

Elle nodded.

Emmett squeezed her hand. “Hey,” he said, sensing her apprehension.

She turned and stared at him.

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear.” He spoke the start of the quote, knowing she would finish it.

She nodded. “I know. It’s the triumph over it.”

“Here’s to triumph.” He lifted their joined hands and brought them to his lips.

The nurse swiped a few more keys on the tablet she was holding then tucked it under her arm. “I’m going to let the crew know we’re ready to go. Five years, Elle.” The nurse smiled. “This is a big one.”

Elle nodded. “Yes, I know.”

“We’ll see you after the scan, sweetie.” The nurse squeezed Elle’s shoulder, the look on her face one of concern and caring. “Nice to meet you, Emmett.”

Emmett nodded.

“Thanks, Stacy,” Elle said quietly, squeezing the woman’s hand.

In that moment, Emmett had never been more grateful for the skilled team of doctors, nurses and medical staff Elle had on her side. They had fought for her, fought with her, during these last five years while she waged her battle with cancer.

The nurse slipped through the door, leaving them alone in the small, sterile room.

Emmett rubbed her back quietly in the silence that ensued, trying to infuse her with strength. This was their journey together, and he wouldn’t change it for anything. Not now that he got to share her life with her.

The door opened and a woman wearing blue scrubs came inside. “All ready, Elle?” she asked, glancing between the two of them.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’ll be right here when you’re finished.”

“Always?” she asked.

“Always.”

Her face split into a radiant smile and she stood taller. This was her game face. She turned toward the technician. “I’m ready.”

And just like that, she was gone.

* * *

After what felt like hours, Elle finally walked through the doors to the waiting room where Emmett sat. She looked a little tired. Neither of them had slept well the night before.

“Everything go okay?” he asked.

She smiled. “Yeah, it’s all good. Let’s get going.”

They rode down the elevator, hand in hand, stepping out into the spacious lobby of the medical center. It wasn’t as sterile as the rest of the building, as though they’d wanted people to feel calm and welcome when entering. He hadn’t appreciated it on the way in, but now noted the effort.

Elle squeezed his hand. “It was good to have you with me today,” she said, glancing up at him as she wrapped her other hand around his arm.

He leaned down and kissed her temple. “It was good to be here.” And he meant it.

Elle released him and fumbled with her purse.

“What is it?” he asked.

“My phone,” she said, digging through the deep bag. “It’s probably my family, calling to check on me.” As she pulled the phone out, her face washed pale.

“Who is it?”

“It’s the radiology department.”

“Why would they be calling so soon?” he asked. “I thought it took several days to get the results.”

“It usually does.” Elle’s eyes went wide and the pit of Emmett’s stomach burned with fear.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear…

“Hello,” she said quietly.

He held his breath, unable to speak.

“Yes, okay. Yes, I see.” Elle stared off at nothing. “Yes, I can come back. We’re still here.”

There was a long pause and Emmett thought he might vomit.

“No, no, I understand,” she said, “these things happen.” Emmett could see she was being kind, but heard the fear in her voice. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Another long pause.

“Okay, we’ll be right up.” Slowly Elle drew the phone away from her face and stared blankly at the screen.

“Elle, what is it?”

Her eyes met his, blinking rapidly.

“Elle, what is it. Who was that?”

“It was the radiology department. There’s a shadow on my scan.”

“A what?”

“A shadow,” she repeated as she broke eye contact and began walking back toward the elevators. He could see her closing up on him, her arms wrapping around herself.

He grasped her by the elbow. “Elle, what does that mean?”

She turned and stared past his shoulder, not meeting his gaze.

“Elle,” he prompted again.

She finally met his eyes and swallowed. “It’s probably just the machine. He said it was likely a technical issue, something the first technician didn’t spot when he checked the scan.”

“Or.” He held his breath, going ramrod straight.

“Or,” she said, “it could be something else.”

Something she wouldn’t name.

Shit.

She wiggled from his hold. She was trying to pull away, distance herself. This time he refused to let her.

A calming sense of peace washed over Emmett when he realized his role. This was it. Time to be the person she needed, even though he was filled with his own doubt and anxiety. He pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her waist, steadying her.

“So, what do we need to do now?” He kept the fear from his voice and focused on getting them where they needed to go.

“They need to redo my scan.”

“Well,” Emmett looked over her shoulder toward the elevator, “let’s get going. I’m starving. The sooner we’re done here, the sooner we can eat, right?” He couldn’t eat any more than he could fly to the moon, but he knew she needed the distraction.

She blew out a deep breath. “It’s okay to be scared, Emmett,” she said quietly.

He nodded. “I know.” He glanced down at her. “But I’m also hopeful. Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come.”

Elle glanced up at him. “Did you just come up with that?”

Emmett stared down at the woman he loved, shaking his head. “No, it’s from Elsbeth’s diary. She was quite a poet.”

“That’s beautiful.”

“Tell you what, I’ll read them to you when we’re finished here.”

“I’d like that.”

“But first,” he motioned toward the elevator as it opened. “Your chariot awaits, my lady.”

Elle laughed and the sound filled Emmett with the one thing he needed most today. Hope.