Elle rolled over in her bed, moving the pillow so her face wasn’t pressed against the dampness left by her tears. She’d cried half the night and well into the morning, her eyes now swollen and burning.

How could she have done this? She’d thought she was protecting Emmett by not telling him everything. Instead, as always, she’d hurt him. And yet, she’d still let him walk away. She didn’t even know how much of her conversation with Sabine he’d heard, but obviously it was enough.

There were no words to describe the ache in her heart. The anguish of watching Emmett walk away from her was more painful than anything she’d endured during her cancer treatments. This pain cut deep to her core, to her very soul, and stole the breath from her body.

It was made all the worse because this had been her fault. She didn’t know how she convinced herself to hold back. Yes, she had needed more information, a definitive answer about the fertility problems, but with hindsight it was easy to see they should have done that waiting together. She should have opened up to him, told Emmett about her fears, told him about the additional testing she was undergoing for fertility. She should have let him in. Instead, she’d lied, and now he was gone.

Elle picked up her phone for the hundredth time. Still no word from Emmett. She’d called and texted him all night, finally stopping when she fell asleep well after midnight.

She noticed she had two missed calls from Shanna. Rehearsal this morning. Oh no.

Cheeta jumped onto the bed, licking her nose, then her cheek.

“I know sweetie, you need to go outside.”

Cheeta wagged her tail.

“And eat, yes, I know.”

Cheeta gave a small bark and hopped from the bed.

Elle threw back the covers and pushed off the mattress. As she slid her feet to the floor, her eyes locked on the framed note on her nightstand.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it.” She picked up the frame and held it closer, reading Emmett’s personal note. I’ll always be here for you, Elle.

He had been, but she’d pushed him away again and again.

Cheeta danced at her feet, reminding her she needed to be let out. Judging from the sun beaming in through her window, it was late and she was surprised Cheeta had made it this long without an accident. And without food.

As Elle reached the bottom step the doorbell rang.

Emmett?

Her heart leapt. She glanced at herself in the entryway mirror. Good God, she was a mess. Her hair was spiked on one side and flat on the other, her clothes from yesterday rumpled from sleeping in them, make-up smudged and smeared.

The doorbell rang again and Cheeta barked. Without bothering to check the peep hole, Elle threw open the door, ready to say anything to make Emmett understand, to make him forgive her.

“Holy hell, you look like shit,” Tanner said, taking a step back as if Elle might be contagious.

Brody leaned over Tanner’s shoulder. “You really do.”

Elle groaned and rolled her eyes. “What do you two want?”

She walked toward the kitchen, leaving her brothers in the entry way. “She needs to go pee. Let her out,” she said over her shoulder. “I need hot chocolate.”

“Dude, things must be bad,” Tanner said, “it’s almost eleven and she hasn’t had hot chocolate yet.”

“And she’s leaving us in charge of her mutt,” Brody said.

Elle glanced at the clock on the stove. “It’s almost eleven?” She couldn’t believe she’d slept so late. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, she’d barely slept a wink last night.

“Yeah, Pops is worried about you,” Tanner said, walking into the kitchen.

“Why is Pops worried about me?”

“He says you haven’t missed a day of work since you’ve been back home.”

Elle shrugged. “I need a sick day.”

“That’s why he sent us over,” Tanner said, sliding into a stool at her kitchen bar. “To take care of you.”

Oh, great. Now her family was worried. That was the last thing Elle wanted, last thing she’d ever wanted.

“Where’s Cheeta?”

“Outside taking a dump,” Tanner said.

Elle glared at him.

Tanner shrugged. “What?”

“You can’t leave her out there alone, Tanner.” Elle half shrieked as she raced toward the door and slammed smack into her brother’s hard body.

“She’s done,” Brody said, bouncing Cheeta in one of his huge hands. “She took a pretty good one, too. How long has she been holed up in here?”

“Not that long,” Elle said, walking back into the kitchen to fill the kettle. “You guys want some breakfast?”

Elle opened the fridge, staring aimlessly. She had no stomach for food but needed to busy herself.

“It’s more like lunch, sis,” Brody said, sitting next to Tanner.

“Fine. Do you want lunch?”

“Dude, what gives?” Tanner asked.

Elle drew in a deep breath and closed the refrigerator door, bracing herself on the counter.

“Is it about Emmett?” Brody asked.

Elle raised her head. She’d never been able to hide anything from Brody. He was quiet and discerning, so perceptive it was scary.

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“What did fuck face do now?” Tanner asked, moving to stand.

“Sit down, idiot,” Brody said, pushing his brother’s shoulder until he fell back onto his seat. “I have a feeling this isn’t something Emmett did.” He raised a brow at his sister.

“You guys know I have a scan coming up next week?”

Their faces paled. They didn’t like to talk about the scans any more than she did.

“Yeah. Emmett’s going with you, right?” Brody finally spoke.

Elle’s eyes prickled and burned with unshed tears. Not anymore, he wasn’t, she thought.

“I scheduled some extra testing while I’m in New York,” Elle said, rubbing at nothing on the counter.

“What?” Tanner leaped from his stool. “Why?

“Is everything all right?” Brody asked simultaneously, rising to his feet. Neither could hide the fear in their voices.

Elle nodded. “I’m just getting the regular scans as far as the cancer goes. I just added some fertility testing.”

Her brothers stood silent.

“It’s just that, um…” Elle twisted her fingers together, realizing she should have had this talk with Emmett not her brothers. “The chemo and radiation, they might have …”

“Ah, hell,” Brody moaned, walking around the counter and pulling her into a hug.

Tanner shuffled his feet. “So, you’ll uh, you’ll find out after they do some tests?”

Elle nodded, sniffling and looking up. “Yeah.”

“You didn’t tell him, Elle?” Brody asked, reading the situation perfectly. “You guys are getting serious, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she said, turning to finish making the hot chocolate as she wiped her eyes. The tears only fell faster.

“Yes, you told him? Or yes you’re getting serious?” Tanner asked.

“I didn’t tell him. And yes, we were serious. Until yesterday.”

“Elly Belly,” Brody said, hands on her shoulders.

Elle let out a muffled laugh through her tears.

Tanner touched her arm. “Just tell us.”

Her doorbell rang again. Cheeta barked and they all jumped.

“Who’s that?” Elle asked.

“Probably the cavalry,” Tanner said.

“Who’s the cavalry?” Elle asked, afraid of the answer.

“Pops,” Brody said.

“Pops is here?” she squeaked out.

“Yep.” Tanner shrugged. “He gave us ten minutes.”

“What?” Elle scowled. “He’s been out in the car this whole time?”

Brody held up his hands in innocence. “Wasn’t my idea. Pops said something about us warming you up before he came in for the kill.”

Elle threw back her head and laughed. It felt good to smile instead of cry. The sound of the laughter reverberated off her walls as her brothers joined in the lunacy of Brody’s statement. She loved her brothers so much.

“What in the Sam Hill is going on in here?” Her grandpa ranted as he walked into the living room.

“Dude, what’s up with the Hee-Haw talk, old man?” Tanner asked. “Are you from the Wild West or something?”

Elle snorted.

“Next thing you know he’ll be saying, ‘What in the tarrr-nation,’” Tanner said in his best hillbilly drawl. “Or how about catawampus? I think I’ve heard John Wayne use that a time or two.”

Her grandfather jerked his thumb at Tanner, but he was talking to Elle. “This is what happens when you send a boy in to do a man’s job.” Pops grumbled, pushing past her brothers, and stopping just in front of her. “What in the tarnation has you all catawampus, little girl?”

She bit her lip to hold back a laugh, and tears, but the tears won over and she stood helpless as they streamed down her cheeks.

Her grandfather wrapped his arms around her and she fell into him, surprised by his strength.

“Let it out, sweetheart, it’s all right,” he said softly.

Holding onto Pops, she felt a little more anchored, like she might not float away.

“It’s going to be all right, sweet girl, I promise.”

“I really messed up this time, Pops.”

“Is this about that damned Sumner boy?”

Elle pulled back. “It’s not him, Pops, it’s me.”

Her grandfather shook his head. “Hell, if it is.”

“No, really, Pops,” Tanner added. “I wanted to kick his ass too, but this time a Sumner is actually innocent. It’s your granddaughter who screwed up.”

“You boys, get.” Her grandfather nodded toward the door. “I need to talk to Elle.”

“Should we wait for you?” Brody asked.

Pops glared.

Before Elle could argue, her brothers walked out the door, closing it with a quiet thud.

Pops turned and pointed toward the sofa. “Sit.”

Knowing she had no choice, Elle turned and sank into the couch, pulling a throw pillow onto her lap.

She watched as Pops slowly lowered himself across from her. Ever since his stroke, he moved slower, but with no less confidence.

Her grandfather’s blue-gray eyes studied her.

“It’s uncanny how much you look like your mother.” He reached out and stroked her face. “She was so beautiful.”

She scooted closer to her grandfather.

“And you have her spirit. It’s as if when she died, her soul never left. It lives inside of you, I think.”

Elle’s eyes burned with the memories of her mother. Or rather, the memories people told her about her mother. She didn’t really have any of her own. She’d expected Pops to talk to her about her scan, or about Emmett, but not this.

He reached out and squeezed her arm. “You’re like her in so many other ways, too. You have her strength, her kind heart. Gayle was a wonderful mother to the boys. And she would have been to you, just like I know you will be one day to your own children.”

Elle stiffened. “I might never have children. It might not be possible after...”

“Of course you will.” Pops smiled. “Just because you don’t carry a child in your body doesn’t mean they’re not born in your heart.”

Elle’s eyes welled with tears. She had always thought she might adopt someday, but she didn’t want that to be Emmett’s only choice for a family. He might want a child of his own someday, a biological child. He might resent her for not being able to give him that.

“Well, either way,” she said, brushing away tears, “I’m missing a partner now, so it doesn’t matter.”

Her grandpa shrugged his shoulders and sighed. “You could do it alone if you wanted. Lord knows you’ve got plenty of experience mothering us Noble men. You certainly don’t need to protect us, Elle. And if you’re sick, we need to be there. Just as much for ourselves as for you.”

“Oh, Pops.” She choked out a sob.

“You need to let someone inside, even if it isn’t one of us. Let him in,” he said quietly. “Lean on him.”

“Emmett?”

He raised one gray brow with a look that said she was a moron, which obviously she was.

“I don’t think he wants me anymore, Pops. I didn’t tell him I might not be able to have children. I added some extra tests in New York to try to find out. He asked me about them and I lied, I don’t know why I did. Just to protect him I guess. And now he’s not returning my calls.”

“Hmmph,” her grandpa grunted and fell back into the sofa. “He’s even more stubborn than a Noble. Who thought that was possible?”

“Can I tell you something, Pops?”

He sat up straight. “Of course.”

“I’m scared.” She bit her lip to keep from crying.

“I’m scared too, Elle.” His eyes welled. “We all are. Every time you have a scan.”

Elle remembered Emmett’s note from so long ago. “Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it,” she whispered.

“Nelson Mandela,” her grandfather said.

“How did you know?”

He tapped his temple. “I haven’t lost all my marbles…yet. Actually, it’s the quote on your entry way wall. And the note that boy left you.”

That boy. Elle laughed. Her grandfather was talking about Emmett’s note.

I’ll always be there for you, Elle.

When he wrote the words, Emmett probably hadn’t expected her to push him away again and again.

Elle drew in a ragged breath. “Emmett’s always wanted a family, Pops. A big family is important to him. I don’t want to take that away from him or limit his options.”

“If you don’t let him make that choice, if you don’t let him in, he’s already lost you, sweetheart.”

She glanced up at the wooden block on her mantel. One side said “Fight” the other “Give Up.”

“I choose fight,” she said quietly. Today she would choose to fight, and she would be triumphant, with a host of family and friends who loved her.

“Atta girl, Elly Belly.” Her grandfather kissed her head. “Atta girl.”