Chapter Two

 

He was here. Vyr. Not her Vyr, because Riyah hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her Vyr in months. But the shell was here.

She fought the temptation to let her walls down, but she couldn’t let him feel the sadness she did right now. Not when she was looking at the tiny gravestones on the ground, in the very back corner of her very favorite place—her orchard.

She knew it wasn’t the real him, and he would be like he always was—distant. But she still got excited to see him anyway, because she loved him unconditionally. She loved him to the stars and back, and her heart would feel that way until her last breath. He was everything.

She pushed off her knees and smiled at the stones because that’s where she was at. This was the point in her healing she had reached. She could smile again, and it was a big deal.

Power pulsed inside of her, but she gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, focused on keeping the energy inside of her. This place was sacred, and it deserved better than her losing control and decimating it.

Everyone thought Vyr was the danger. And he was. But he wasn’t the only one.

It was the day after Christmas, and the snow was thick and crisp on the ground. She should’ve been cold, but she didn’t feel much anymore. The rows of fruit trees had lost all their leaves that autumn, and this place looked barren and cold to anyone else. But to her, this was home. Why? Because Vyr had made it for her. He’d bought this land, planted the trees, and built the giant shed for all the equipment. For the last two years, he’d helped her harvest the fruit and sell them at flea markets like she’d done with her mother as a child.

Riyah was a witch, natural born, just like her mother was. Like Vyr was and his mother, Clara Daye. She could feel him getting closer. Vyr, Vyr, Vyr. She began to jog. His mind was open.

Where are you? Riyah, where are you?

She wanted to answer him, but she couldn’t lift the veil. Her feelings would set off his volatile dragon.

She ran faster. There he was. She could see his aura long before she could make out his facial features. Muddy brown. No more purple. He hadn’t been a pretty color in months. No, he wasn’t her Vyr, but at least part of him was here.

Long, powerful strides headed straight for her. She wasn’t imagining him, not this time. He was here. He was home. She pushed her legs faster. His red hair was mussed. Longer on top, short on the sides. He’d gotten a haircut somewhere while he was away. Bright silver eyes with elongated pupils. The Red Dragon. He was bigger than when he’d left. He’d put on seven…maybe ten pounds of muscle. It was obvious in his tight white sweater. His powerful legs were pushing against the fabric of his jeans as he moved faster toward her. His skin was so pale. It was as white as the snow he walked on. And the closer she got, the more exhausted his eyes looked.

Instinct told her to stop. Experience told her to stop. He would reject her again. Dozens of little rejections, but she wanted him to let her in. And maybe, just maybe, it would be different this time.

She didn’t stop. She ran right into his outstretched arms and held on as tight as she could. She didn’t cry. Riyah didn’t do that anymore. Her tears had dried up a long time ago. But her heart was breaking in a good way. He was actually hugging her. Holding her.

And then he placed his lips right near her ear and whispered, “Why did you bury them here?”

Riyah looked up at the sky and held him tight. He should hear this. He should talk about it. “Because you made this place for me. And they deserve your love, too.”

“Fuck,” he choked out. His hands gripped her jacket, and he pulled her body so hard against him that it was hard to breathe. But it felt so good.

“I miss you,” she murmured brokenly.

“I’m here.”

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, easing back. She cupped the red beard that dusted his jaw and searched those dragon eyes. “I miss you.”

He held her gaze for a moment, and then she witnessed it—the shutdown. He made a clicking sound behind his teeth and looked off into the woods with that vacant stare she’d come to know so well.

Anger boiled through her blood, and a little piece of her wanted to slap him just to remind him she was still here. “I exist, you know? I’m the one waiting at home while you claim new territory.”

“You could come with me.”

“I don’t support you giving in to the dragon. You’re addicted, Vyr. With every territory you allow your dragon to claim, you have less control over him.”

“I never had control of him,” he said blandly.

Her fury got the best of her as she stomped past him. She lifted the veil just enough to put one word in his head. Liar.

Vyr yelled, and she heard the sound of him falling to his knees behind her. When she turned, he was hunched over, clutching his head. “Riyah,” he whispered. “What have you been hiding from me?”

She lifted her chin. “I’ll show you when you’re strong enough.”

“You’ll taunt me with a glimpse of it?”

“Taunt you? You think I want to do this alone? I love you, Vyr. I love you!” A wave of power blasted out from her with the last word, and the snow blew away in a perfect circle around them. They were left in the center of a frozen field.

“How? If I keep…keep…”

“It’s my loss, too, Vyr. I lost them, too! I lost…” She strode over to him, sank down onto his lap, and hugged his shoulders tight, daring him to try to escape her this time. “I lost them, but even worse, I lost you at the same time. You’ve made me go through this alone.”

“You have Candace and Nevada.”

“I need you.”

“Torren and Nox are understanding.”

“They aren’t my mates, Vyr! They’re my Crew!”

“I don’t know how to do this!” Vyr yelled, hugging her so tight her ribs cracked. “I can’t fix it. I can’t protect you.”

“Is that what this is about? Protecting me? From pain? You’re making it worse by not being here for me.”

“Give me any person who would ever hurt you, and I would turn them to ash and devour them without blinking. I always knew my role. I was supposed to keep you safe, Riyah. And I was the one who poisoned you instead.”

“Poisoned me?” she asked softly. “Vyr, you can’t believe that. For a while, I was their mother.” Oh, God, give me strength to just tell him how it is. “My two perfect boys.”

“Perfect. They were gargoyles.”

“Don’t call them that,” she snapped. “They were perfect. Who could’ve stopped them from shifting before they were ready? Who could’ve stopped their little dragons? Hmm? Had they lived, they would be just like you,” she said, her voice dipping to a proud whisper. “And I would’ve loved every second.”

“They were born with wings, Riyah. They will always be born like that. Beaston said it’s the way the world has to balance us. We’re each too big. There’s too much power between us. Offspring—”

“Don’t call them that.”

A long rumble emanated from him. “Our children would end the world. But you’re my mate, and to me, you are the world. You want to be a mother, and you deserve to be a mother. I want to see you holding my child, and I can’t give that to you. This is the consequence of our power. You settled in so many ways the day you chose me.”

“Vyr,” she murmured, running her hands through his hair. She smiled. “You still don’t see what I see, you silly man.”

“What do you see?” Heartache tainted his voice.

She pressed her hand against his pounding heart. “To me, you’re also the whole world. You think I don’t have those moments, too? The ones where I feel like I failed? The ones where I’m sad and I miss them and I feel like I let you down for not making you a dad?” She shrugged. “I know I can’t ever give you that either. But you won’t fix it by feeding your dragon power. You will ruin us and this Crew. And probably the whole damn world by the time the Red Dragon is done.”

Vyr traced her lips with his fingertip. “You smiled. I haven’t seen that in a long time.”

“You gave me that smile.”

“I have an admission,” he rumbled, brushing her dark hair from her face.

“Tell me everything.” She always said that when he had admissions. “I’ll keep your secrets safe. Always.”

He inhaled deeply. “When I’m gone, hunting new territories…I have a dream. Just one, over and over, every night I’m away from you.”

Riyah wrapped her legs around him. This was the most he’d spoken to her in months. “Is it a dirty dream?”

Vyr snorted. “No. I dream we’re on our bed, and I’m tracing your freckles.” He lifted his finger from just below her lips to her cheek and began to trace the dark spots she’d inherited from her mother. “And you’re looking at me with this little smile.”

She sighed and leaned into his touch.

“Yeah,” he said, staring at her lips. “A smile just like that one. And then your freckles move and change, then suddenly we’re on our backs on the floor of that prison, looking up at those stars you put on the ceiling. But the words don’t say ‘I’m yours’ anymore. They say ‘I’m theirs.’ When I wake up, my whole chest is on fire, and I wish it could be true. That you could be theirs. If you were with someone normal, you could have a baby.”

“A witch baby.”

“Be serious.”

“I am being serious. My genetics aren’t exactly cream of the crop either, Vyr. Which is why I’ve come to a decision.”

Vyr frowned. “What decision?”

“I don’t want to try again.”

“For another baby?”

“I went to see Beaston.” She nearly choked on the admission and repeated it softer. “I went to see Beaston. And when I asked if I would ever be a mother, I pushed my way into his head. Oh, he knew what I was doing. He gave me this wicked smile and stopped talking out loud. I could see what he saw for me. I’d wanted answers, and he gave them to me. Thoroughly. If our children were to survive, no one else would. It would be the coming of the end, and no one could stop it. I saw in his head, Vyr. I was holding a little blond-haired baby on my hip. He had glowing green eyes, like his animal was already awake and watching. You were standing next to me, and all around us was fire. I don’t know whether that was a yes or a no on me being a mother. But I haven’t been able to think about anything else. I feel empty since I lost the twins. Like my tummy has a hole in it, and it’s so big that it ate up my heart, too.” She shrugged up one shoulder. “But maybe we are only meant to be really good to Torren’s son. You know? Maybe that’s our role. Maybe I can be good with being the best aunt to the new little Kong. Dane is so cute. And I still get to watch you be the best uncle to him. And to Nox and Nevada’s kids when the time comes. Between little Kongs and Noxes, we’ll have our hands full in this Crew,” she said optimistically.

Vyr’s frown wrinkled his whole forehead. “This is a big change. Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Yes, she said into his mind and let him feel what she was feeling for just a moment. Acceptance.

Vyr rolled his eyes closed and his head back. “God, I’ve missed the feel of you.”

She grabbed her boobs and said earnestly, “I’ve missed the feel of you, too.”

He chuckled. Chuckled!

“I’ve missed that sound,” she said in a rush.

The smile faded from his lips. “I don’t know how to get back to the way I was,” he murmured.

“Maybe you aren’t meant to be the man you were. Maybe you are meant for something bigger. Growth isn’t an easy thing, Vyr. If it was, everyone would do it. You will have big phases of growth over and over, like a snake shedding his skin, until you can become strong enough to control the Red Dragon.”

“You have so much more faith in me than I deserve.”

“No. I just know what you’re capable of. No man could protect the world from the Red Dragon but you. No one else is strong enough. But you’ve done it all these years.” Riyah swallowed audibly. “Stay.”

“I can’t,” he whispered, dragging her palm to his lips.

Riyah tugged the beard that hung from his chin and shook his face gently. “Stay.”

Vyr dropped his gaze and shook his head slightly.

“Okay. You’re telling me you aren’t there yet. Aren’t strong enough to stop this yet. But I’m through the worst of the mourning—at least I hope to God I am—and now it’s time to focus on you, not our loss. And not my pain. Oh, I know you blame yourself. It’s not a coincidence you started claiming new mountains right when I lost the babies. I just wasn’t strong enough to travel and watch you spiral, too. In a way, we both had to cope on our own. That part surprised me, but everyone is different, and the both of us flinched inward and absorbed the blows. Apart. You pushed me away, and I got quiet and I waited and waited, but I’m tired of doing that now, Vyr.”

“Are you leaving me?” he asked, zero surprise or emotion in his voice.

“No, ridiculous man. The opposite.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m gonna be by your side while you spiral.”

“You support me taking over the Tarian Pride territory now?”

“Fuck no,” she scoffed. “I’m gonna bitch at you the whole time, chew loudly when I eat, interrupt your sleep, and make you miserable with my presence in general until you tire of traveling to obsess over those stupid mountains—”

“I’m in!” Nox’s voice echoed through the orchard.

Riyah and Vyr looked around, but he was nowhere to be found.

“I’m also in!” Torren, the giant silverback shifter and best friend of Vyr yelled from somewhere equally mysterious.

“Oh, we’re also in!” That was Nevada’s voice.

“Are babies allowed?” Candace called.

“Oh…my God,” Vyr griped. “Have you all been here listening the entire time?”

“Yeah,” Nox called. “We brought popcorn.”

Riyah scrunched up her face and slid her hands over Vyr’s shoulders. “What if we’d had loud welcome-home sex?”

“That’s what we brought the popcorn f— Ow!” Nox exclaimed as the sound of a slap hitting skin echoed through the orchard. If Riyah had to guess, Candace was the one who’d whacked him.

Riyah giggled. How long had it been since she’d made that sound? God, it was good to have Vyr—she studied his muddy brown aura—or at least part of Vyr home.

“There’s something that bothers me about Beaston’s vision,” Vyr said as he rocked upward and settled her on her feet.

“What?”

“You said the baby had glowing green eyes.”

“So?”

“So you’re a new-ish shifter and maybe don’t know how the genetics work on this stuff. A child would have either your eyes or mine, and neither of us have green eyes.” He looked utterly disturbed.

“Okay, well what do you think that means?”

Vyr was looking at her in the strangest way, his silver eyes roiling with some emotion she couldn’t understand. She reached for his mind, but he’d shut her out.

“Vyr, what?”

“I won’t be the child’s father.”

Riyah’s heart pounded against her breast bone. “What?”

“If you become a mother, it won’t be with me. Either something happens to me or…”

“Or what?”

Vyr sighed a frozen breath. “Or you do what you should’ve done a long time ago.”

Baffled, she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“You leave me and find someone who can give you a better life.”

Riyah stood on her tippy-toes and kissed him hard. It was the kind of kiss that was a little like a middle finger. It was teeth hitting his and a bite it the middle that she hoped hurt him. She wrapped her fingers around his throat and squeezed, letting her power pulse gently from her palm. After she pulled her lips from his, she whispered, “Don’t you ever talk like that again. I don’t care what the vision was. I won’t leave you. Not ever.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m the Red Dragon’s treasure.” She shoved him in the shoulder hard and then slipped her hand into his. “And you’re mine, too.”