Another piece of my heart shatters, with the loud bang of the crystal vase slamming against the old, dirty cream-colored wall that once was a vibrant white shade. Crouching down low outside their bedroom door, I try to be as small as I can. I don’t want daddy to see me, turning his attention to me tonight. Benjamin’s asleep in bed thank goodness, out of harm’s way.
Every time he sees me at nighttime now, he scares me. His loud voice, his yucky smell, the way he yells at mommy, and how his eyebrows knit together when he sees me makes me want to stay far away from him.
“We need the money, Adeline. Just get it or there will be hell for all of us to pay.” My daddy’s face is red with anger. His neck looks tight and stretched when he bellows. His arm drops to his side after throwing mommy’s favorite glass vase, reaching for another mouthful of the yellow liquid in his glass. Wiping the back of his hand across his mouth where some of it seeps out.
Sniffling and rubbing her nose, mommy speaks quietly, “I’ve given you all I have, Drake. I have nothing left to give you.”
“You’d better be joking.” Long legs stride toward the wooden table where mommy keeps her hair brush, creams for her face, rings, earrings, and necklaces. Opening and closing every small compartment, he swipes all the things off the top of the table onto the floor. I can’t see mommy, but her sobbing is rife in my head.
“Where the fuck is everything?” More steps thud on the floor.
“Drake… No. It’s all gone.”
Bang…
Mommy is against the wall, with daddy’s thick arms pinning her shoulders so she can’t move.
“Where is it?” This voice isn’t my daddy’s. It sounds so mean, louder and angrier than I have ever listened to before.
“What are you talking about? You’re hurting my shoulders, Drake.” Tears sweep down her cheeks.
“This will be nothing if Sokolov doesn’t get his money that I owe him. You think you’re hurting now, dear. Fuck, if I don’t give him something tonight, he will break every limb in my body and then when he’s finished with me, that’s when he will come after your cunt.” Daddy’s eyes stare so hard at mommy I want to crawl away before anything else happens but making a sound now would let daddy know I’ve heard him. I would be punished.
“And don’t think it would end there, Adeline… No… Our sweet, precious princess and little prince would be served to him next, to do whatever he pleases with them.” Spit flies against mommy’s neck. Her legs are wobbling, and her eyes are red and puffing up.
“So, where the fuck have you put the ring.”
Head hanging, defeated, and worn down, mommy heaves some air in. Her entire body is trembling.
Lifting her arm, she points to the bed. “Under the mattress.”
Without an ounce of concern for mommy, daddy almost runs to the bed and overturns the mattress. He leans forward and clenches a small box in his fist. Mom slides down the wall. Her legs bent against her chest, wrapped up in her arms. Her hair falls over her limbs. Her body moves uncontrollably with her crying.
“This must be worth a stack. The fucking stone is huge.” A smile appears on his face. It’s the first sign tonight that finally he is happy. But he won’t be if he finds me now.
Turning toward the right, I tiptoe back to the room next to theirs and hurry so my ear is next to the wall that mommy has fallen against.
Faintly I hear, “Drake, please no… There has to be another way. That’s all I have left of my parents. You’ve taken everything else.”
“Stop you’re whinging, Adeline. The ring goes. It’s best you remember where your loyalties lay.” The door shuts with a bang. Determined footsteps head out to the living room and out the front door.
Leaping forward, I run into mommy’s room. She is still against the wall on the floor.
“It will be okay, Mommy. He’s gone.”
Tears keep falling down from her swollen eyes.
“I have to make this right, Isla.” Gathering strength from somewhere within, wiping her face, she lifts up from the floor and walks to the mess on the ground that once was organized so neatly on her table.
“I have to let them know. I have to set things in place.” Taking a pad of paper from the pile, she moves other things on the floor until she has a pen in her hand. I stand still while she walks to the bed.
“Help me, Isla.” Holding the edges of the mattress, I almost run over to take the other side of the mattress and we pull it down so it lands almost on the base correctly. I tug, and mom pushes until it finally sits evenly like it did minutes before, except for the crumpled sheets and blankets on the floor next to it.
“What are you going to do, Mommy?” I sit on the edge of the bed and look at mom expectantly.
“I may have chosen to live with your father. I love him more than any sane person should. But, I have to protect my children too. So that’s what I will do.” The bed dips next to me and I lean in to her weakened shoulder. She pats my head quickly with her free hand.
“I love daddy too, but he is so angry all the time and he hurts you.” My body is tired from it being late and watching my mother and father fight. Lying my body down on the uncovered mattress, I glance at mom writing on the paper.
Heavy eyed, I say, “What are you writing, Mommy?”
“A little goodbye note. Sleep now, Princess. It’s not for you to worry about. You worry enough for everyone in this house, Isla, and it’s not good for you. It’s not what you should be thinking about. Go to sleep now, so you can wake up to another day where everything starts out good again.”
“Okay, Mommy. I like looking after you and Benjamin. And daddy when he doesn’t smell.”
Her hand runs through my hair, patting my head like she does nearly every night, lulling me to sleep.
“Goodnight, Mommy, don’t let the bed bugs bite…”
Princess… Now there’s a word I haven’t thought of in what feels like forever.
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there lived one.
But isn’t a princess supposed to be with a prince?
Cinderella found her Prince Charming. Sleeping Beauty managed to find her Prince. Rapunzel, Snow White, Jasmine, and Belle were able to hold on to their princes and live happily ever after. Even Fiona married the ogre of her dreams.
So why the hell does it keep eluding me?
Oh, that’s right, my mind’s living in fantasy land. Where make-believe can come true. Where life-altering problems can be rectified in less than an hour and the cruel world can be set right by a fire-breathing dragon or with just one kiss from a handsome unknown guy who has the title of being a prince.
I’m no one’s princess anymore. I’m the exact opposite. I’m tarnished and filthy, used and deceitful. I deserve to suffer. To live without love. But, after the experience of being cherished and cared for by a beautiful man, inside and out, I am willing to accept pain and the ultimate consequences I bring upon myself, so that unique feeling envelops me again. Any suffering will be worth it. No more being scared or timid. I need to take charge. I won’t let the past six years define who I am. Or destroy me. I will let it strengthen me.
It’s time I take the lead role in my own life. It’s time I believe in myself and escape this depraved situation. I now have a clear purpose and direction. If the past seven days taught me anything, it is I deserve to find happiness.
Alex gives me the will to cleanse myself; now all I need to do is find the courage to fight for what I am entitled to.
Not a prince. But… Mr. Alex Raven.