Chapter Forty
Forgiveness is not about
forgetting. It is about letting
go of another person’s throat.
William Paul Young
July 2013
Dear Dad,
I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I go by Nick now. Nick. Just Nick. I’ve dropped the last name, too, and it feels dirty. Like everything I think I am is just a figment of my imagination. Loyal. Strong. Brave. How could I have been so wrong? And is it fucked up that, despite my excommunication, I wish I was still Niccolaio Andretti?
I’ve told you this in previous letters (with a lot more cursing), but in case you didn’t get those or you burned them or whatever, I’ll say it again. I killed Uncle Luca. It tears me up at night. I replay the decision in my head, the chant Ranie or Luca, Ranie or Luca, Ranie or Luca on repeat until those are the only three words I seem to know. And God, I see all those times he cared for me and imparted his words of wisdom whenever I close my eyes at night…
But something’s happened, Dad. I found someone who reminds me of him, and it feels like Uncle Luca is alive. His name is Vincent Romano, and I think he’s a decent guy. If we weren’t in this stupid fucking Romano-Andretti feud to the death, I think you’d like him. Hell, I like him a little, even though a part of me feels like it’s wrong to. That I’m betraying my family just by associating with him.
But the Romano family isn’t bad, Dad. I know you taught me to hate them, and your dad taught you that, too… but they’re good people. They’ve taken me in, given me a job and a home. Don’t let that piss you off too much. I’m not exactly living the good life. I kill people for a living, and I spend 99% of my time pissed the fuck off and hiding out in my home all day long. Not exactly how I used to live.
And fuck, Dad, wouldn’t it be awesome if we could just forgive each other?
Love,
Niccolaio Andretti
True to his word, Ranie ships Vince’s body back to New York. And imagine my surprise when I find that he escorted the body himself.
If you asked me a few months ago, I would have told you that it’d be a cold day in Hell when an Andretti capo famiglia steps foot onto Romano territory willingly (and without being shot down by a trigger happy Romano), but I’m not the same man that ran off to Nowhere, hiding from his little brother.
And everyone around me is different, too. The Romanos are no longer at war with the Andrettis. Vince did that. Even in his death, he has the power to sway people. It’ll take some time for everyone to get used to, but Ranie sent out the decree to end the war, and apparently, the same was Vince’s King’s Will to Bastian, who will take over as the Romano head of enforcement.
Even though Vince wasn’t a capo famiglia and technically can’t invoke a King’s Will, Vince’s brother, the Romano capo famiglia honored the Will, and a decree ending the war on the Romano’s side followed shortly after.
“Are you ready?” Minka asks, facing her back to me.
I zip up her black dress for her and take her hand. “As I’ll ever be.”
I drop Minka off at Lucy’s and join Asher and Bastian in the car that will escort Vince’s body to the cemetery, where thousands of people have gathered to pay their respects. When we get there, I see a sea of somber Romano faces, Andrettis, and De Lucas. Hell, even some of the Camerino and Rossi family members have put down their weapons long enough to give Vince the respect that he earned.
When it’s my turn to speak, my eyes find Minka’s warm ones in the crowd, sitting beside Ranieri, and I begin, “Vincen—” I pause, and the pain on my face evident. I don’t even try to hide it. I want the world to know that Vince was a good man, the type of man that could make an Andretti mourn the loss of a Romano. “Vince was a good man. When I came to New York, I didn’t understand how it was going to work. All I was taught was to hate the Romano family, and I assumed that was all the Romanos had been taught, too. But it turns out that all it takes is one person, one man that everyone is willing to follow, to change things. Vincent Romano was that man.
“He was tough but fair. Strong but gentle. And even in the darkest of times, he was always a guiding light. How he could live in this world and maintain that rigid moral compass of his, I’ll never know. But he did, and for that, he will forever be an example of how we may hold ourselves, even in a world as dark as ours.
“There will never be another Vincent Romano, but if we all strive to act like him and honor his memory, I know the world will be a better place. And that’s what Vince would have wanted from us.”