Chapter One
“You’re a jerk, Jack Cooper,” Toni Salvatore said, eyeing her college buddy with affection and irritation. “Everyone knows that.”
Jack put his hand to his muscular chest, and faked being wounded. His blue eyes twinkled with mischief. “You’re killing me. What can I say? I’m trying to change, and put the past behind me. You’re the first stop on my 12 step make amends tour.”
“What in the actual hell does that mean?” Toni sipped her coffee, extra whip, and tried to visualize Jack, the Berkley dorm hottie back in the day and well known for charming girls out of their panties, making retribution. It didn’t jibe.
“So apparently some people think that perhaps I have not always conducted myself selflessly or with dignity.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“No, now don’t protest, it’s true.”
That made her grin. “I wasn’t going to. But go on.”
“Since I am going to be starring in a role where the character goes out finding people he has wronged in the past and making amends, the powers that be think I should do the same. One, method acting. Two, good PR.”
Interesting. “And I’m stop one?”
He shrugged. “You’re in town. It’s convenient. My PR person will be here in a minute with a cameraman and we can film my apology.”
Jack wasn’t a bad guy. He was just impulsive and good-looking, and everyone wanted to make beautiful people happy. Toni herself had lost her common sense when it came to Jack’s suggestions in college, which usually involved pranks, alcohol, and social media. “I’m overwhelmed by the contrition dripping from your voice.”
He gave a snort. “Okay, what can I say? I’m a work in progress. Toni, I’m sorry for suggesting you infiltrate the commencement ceremony a year before you were due to graduate and take a degree that belonged to someone else. Then kissing the Dean of Students on stage.”
Yep. That was the biggest prank she had agreed to. Jack was just so damn charming and he made everything sound so fun and she could never resist the infamous “double-dog dare.” It was a character flaw. One her parents would only be too willing to point out.
“And?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. “Is this a rehearsal?”
“And what?” Jack looked bewildered. “And I’m sorry Dean Stoner got a boner when you kissed him and then he was so humiliated he formally disciplined you and you lost your scholarship and couldn’t graduate? Is that the ‘and what’?”
Yep. “That about sums it up. My college career, three years of work, reduced to one wet kiss with a man in his fifties.” She shuddered at the memory. “But I do forgive you, you know,” she told Jack. Hell, if it wasn’t for him she wasn’t sure she would be as successful a comedienne as she was. Together the two of them had created a YouTube channel where they did stupid and idiotic things together, attempting to out-prank one another.
The schtick that had launched her to internet stardom was her kiss and go. Run up to a stranger, lay one on him, run away. It was comedy gold, spawned on that commencement stage.
Jack coughed into his hand. “Well… there’s something I never told you.”
Toni paused with her coffee halfway to her mouth. “Okay. What would that be?”
“Remember when you told me that you had a thing for Brian Rothstein and you asked me to tell him? And I said I did? Well. I never did.”
Toni was taken aback, she had to admit. “Are you kidding me? I angsted over that for months. I thought Brian was my soul mate. I pictured birthing his children, Cooper.”
“I’ve always felt bad about that.”
“You told me he thought I was a best buddy, nothing more. Good for sharing a joke with, not his bed. Your exact words were, and I quote, ‘you’re in the friend zone, Ton, let it go.’ If you didn’t want to tell him you could have just told me.”
Jack looked a little sheepish. He was sprawled out across the table from her, seemingly oblivious to the stares of young women in the coffeeshop who had been covertly taking selfies with him in the background for the last twenty minutes. His Hollywood star had risen because he was one sexy bastard and because he could genuinely act. “I’m sorry. I just felt like a douche saying something to him, so I just lied. But in my defense, if he wanted you, he would have put the moves on you whether I gave him the encouragement or not.”
Way to make a girl feel better. “It’s a good thing I’m your first stop on this amends tour because you suck at it.”
He rubbed his jaw. “You’re right, geez. Okay, how can I make it up to you?”
Jack appeared to be profoundly sincere but Toni knew him well enough to question if he was just acting or if he actually felt bad. “Don’t worry about it. You’re right. If Brian and I were meant to be, he would have hit on me. It’s not like a guy told you he was into me and you discouraged him.”
He pulled a face. “Well… I might have done that too. I was looking out for you. That guy was a loser. Total loser.”
“What?” Toni was shocked. “Who was it?” What was he going to confess next, that she had really won that stand-up comedy contest freshman year? That she was actually adopted and Jack knew it? Which she wouldn’t believe for a second, by the way. She was far too much like her four older brothers—it was how she’d wound up the funny girl. She couldn’t physically keep up with them, so jokes had been her go-to revenge for their brotherly beatdowns.
“It was that kid with the big nose who carried a briefcase and always wanted to talk to you about software programming.”
Understanding dawned. “That guy is now a billionaire, you do know that? He’s CEO of a software company. But aside from that, it was mean. How did you know I didn’t like Roger?” She hadn’t but that wasn’t the point. “What if you shattered poor Roger?”
“You didn’t like Roger. Stop.”
“You don’t know that.” She was not going to let him off the hook that easily. “And so what does this little amends tour involve?” She sucked up whip cream and smacked in satisfaction. Being in the driver’s seat felt good. “Is this where you make it up to me?”
“Yes. As long as you agree to film it.”
That made Toni laugh. “That goes without saying.” She settled back into her chair, crossing her feet. She was wearing ripped jeans, a Metallica T-shirt that was off the shoulder, and hot pink Converse, her work uniform these days. She was known for her girly grunge style, her head of unruly dark curls, and for doing literally anything to get a laugh. She was making an unholy amount of money being an idiot online and she trusted Jack to up her game. “What do you have in mind, Pretty Boy?”
Jack leaned in closer, resting his arms on the table. He gave her a charming smile. “Since I’m turning over a new leaf, I think it should be something that puts me in my place, you know? Shows I can be humble.”
Toni was skeptical. “Like what, you want to do Dirty Jobs or something? Jack Cooper the coffee barista for a day? That’s boring.”
“You’re the one with the twisted mind. You can think of something.”
She was envisioning a quick two-minute video where she embarrassed the hell out of Jack. “Can I dress you in a bikini?”
“No. Forget it. That has nothing to do with me making amends.”
“Pants you?” That would get views all damn day long. Women would love to see the famous actor sans jeans. Full frontal was hot these days.
He gave her a look. “Seriously? That’s the best you’ve got?”
Toni felt the old thrill of a challenge. Jack always knew how to push her buttons. “How about we recreate the Dean Stoner kiss, only you’re me and I’m Dean Stoner?” Now that she could get on board with. Her comedic wheels started turning. “It’s straight forward, fits with my brand, doesn’t humiliate you.”
“Done. I’m not sure it’s much of a mea culpa on my part but if that’s what you want, I have no problem with it.”
“Are you kidding? You are a hot commodity these days. You’ll up my stature, without question.” She batted her eyelashes at him because she knew it would look ridiculous. Her flirtation skills were notoriously nonexistent. “Kiss me, Jack Cooper, kiss me.”
He shook his head but he looked amused. “You’re a nut. But thank you for not being pissed at me over the whole Brian and Roger thing.”
Toni waved her hand. She wasn’t one to hold a grudge. “No worries. And I won’t even exact revenge because I’m nice like that.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Fabulous. So what’s new in your life, by the way? You dating anyone?”
Toni snorted. That was the biggest laugh riot of all. “No. Dudes do not want the funny girl. They want the Hottie McHot Hot. Sexy blondes with fake boobs. I am both blondless and fake boobless.”
“Blondeless in Los Angeles is a sob story. You’re better than that. Don’t make excuses. Besides, nature didn’t skimp you, so since when are you jealous of fake ones?” He gestured to her chest.
Toni was mildly offended. She was also aware that Jack was right but she refused to admit that out loud. She didn’t envy beautiful blondes. She envied the ease with which some women dated. It was much easier for Toni to pretend she couldn’t find a guy than it would be to admit she was a workaholic afraid of dating. The last time she had slept with a guy was pre-Instagram-sleepy-Sunday-couples-in-bed posts. Which was both a great thing and a horrible, sexually frustrating thing. “So who are you dating, Oh Wise One?”
Jack grew sheepish. “Well, no one, but we’re not talking about me.”
“Then mind your own gravy.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Mind your own gravy and life will be biscuits.” Toni had grown up in South Carolina, a New Jersey Italian transplant, which was partly why she had relied on being the funny girl. It was hard to be a brunette with curls and a flat accent in the land of blonde Southern belles. She thought it was a pretty standard expression, but apparently not universally. “I take it you didn’t say that in Arizona where you grew up?”
“Nope. And seriously, you should get out there, Ton. You’re a cute girl with lots to offer.”
Gross. Toni rolled her eyes. “Should I make that my Tinder tagline? Hollywood movie star Jack Cooper says I’m a cute girl with lots to offer. They’ll be dropping at my feet.”
He grinned. “You’re a jerk, Toni Salvatore. Everyone knows that.”
Touché. A funny, booty-free jerk. That was her. “There is a woman waving to you. Do you know her or is that a fan?” Toni gestured to the left.
Jack turned and waved back. “That’s Ruth. We need to do my apology all over again on film.”
“That will seem so real,” Toni said, rolling her eyes. “Not.”
“It’s Hollywood, Ton. There’s always a take two.”
Now those were actual words to live by.