“Uncle Ky!” Sophie dashed toward a tall, dark-haired man who stood in the middle of the Cavanaghs’ living room. His athletic, muscular body was accentuated by a pair of jeans and an electric blue sweater.
“Hey, little monkey. How’ve you been?” He picked her up in one swift motion, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a loud kiss on his cheek immediately afterward. He smiled and kissed her back.
“Look, I have a puppy! Her name’s Meatball, and she’s my best fwiend.”
Meatball trotted toward Adam’s brother and let out a bark, standing on her hind paws as her front paws rested on his leg.
“Oh, so you have a puppy, huh? I bet your dad’s ecstatic about it.” He quirked a dark eyebrow over bright blue eyes that stared in Adam’s direction with an amused twinkle.
Adam laughed, approaching his brother with Ellie in tow. His hand never left hers, so she followed toward the one Cavanagh she had yet to meet, her heart nervously pitter-pattering in her chest at the way those blue eyes scrutinized her.
She’d been a bundle of nerves ever since she woke up. Adam had insisted she should join his family’s Thanksgiving lunch, and she’d tried to come up with all the excuses she could think of. When he’d used his secret weapon, a pleading three-year-old, she hadn’t been able to say no. In such a short time, he’d already found her weaknesses and used them to his advantage. So eventually, she’d agreed to officially meet his family as his girlfriend, not just Sophie’s teacher, but she’d spent the morning worrying about what they would say, especially Kyle, who was the only family member she hadn’t met. Standing in front of him right now made her feel like a bug under a microscope.
“Good to know you could carve out a little time from your busy schedule,” Adam said, as he pulled his brother in for a quick guy hug. “Mom would’ve thrown a fit if her baby didn’t show up.”
Kyle punched his brother’s shoulder. “Ah, shut up. You’re just jealous ’cause I’m her favorite.” He looked at Ellie and smiled. “He’s never really gotten over the fact that he wasn’t Mom’s baby boy anymore after I was born. I’m Kyle, by the way.”
“Ellie. Nice to finally meet the legendary uncle who plays on TV.”
Kyle chuckled, then turned his attention to Sophie, who’d taken his face in her tiny hands and forced him to look at her. “Miss Ellie is my teacher. She’s weally nice. She lives next to us and she has a gway kitty. His name is Bobcat. Do you know she makes weally good makkincheese? Better than Daddy, but I don’t tell him ’cause then he gets sad. Her bwother is a soldier and he’s funny. We baked cookies when he was here, and he made me fly like a faiwy. I like her bwother. He pwomised when he comes back he’ll make me fly again. Can you make me fly too, Uncle Ky?”
“Whoa, there. Slow down a bit. When did you start talking a hundred words a minute?”
Adam laughed. “You’ve been away too long. You’ve got a whole baseball season of catching up to do, and I’m sure she’ll be happy to fill you in on the town gossip. Good luck, baby brother.”
He pulled Ellie away, leaving Kyle to deal with Sophie’s excitement all on his own. Adam’s fingers squeezed her hand just before they reached the kitchen, from where female chattering floated out. He kissed her temple and gave her an encouraging smile. “Relax, honey. They all love you already, just because you make me happy. I promise no one will bite.”
She smiled and nodded, but she pulled her hand out of his grip just in case. Hannah’s family would be here, apart from Lauren’s brother who hadn’t been able to come home from Montana, where he worked as a vet. It was obvious it would feel weird for the two women to see Adam holding a hand that wasn’t Hannah’s, no matter how much they wanted him to be happy.
There were no introductions, no “Meet my new girlfriend,” or stuff like that, and Ellie was grateful she’d already met them all before she and Adam had become a couple. In a way, it felt less awkward than the usual ‘meet the parents’ moment did.
Lunch was a happy family time that reminded her of the big family gatherings in her childhood, and she never for a second felt awkward or out of place. There was laughter, banter, teasing, and when they commended her on the vegetable lasagna she’d brought, she blushed a little, feeling self-conscious. Adam wrapped his arm around her shoulder from the seat next to her and pulled her to him.
“Since she’s half-Italian, she knows lots of awesome recipes. And I’m the lucky recipient of all the extra food she cooks, seeing as I live right next door.”
“I bet she probably just feels sorry for your lack of cooking abilities and deliberately makes extra portions so you don’t starve to death,” Kean said from the other end of the table.
Adam threw his napkin at him, glaring at his brother while everyone around the table laughed.
“This from the man who’s been eating Mommy’s food every single night even though he has a perfectly functioning kitchen in his house.”
And so the banter went on, the feeling of familiarity and coziness enveloping her heart, making her feel like maybe she really could belong to this happy group of people who’d welcomed her into their home and made her feel as if she were already a member of their clan.
Sometime after dessert was served, Ellie went to use the bathroom, and when she came out she nearly bumped into Lauren’s mother. Ellie returned her polite smile, but when she took a step to her left to let her pass, Jenna placed a hand on Ellie’s forearm.
“It’s good to see Adam happy again. It’s been so long since he’s been so carefree.” Her tone wasn’t quite a whisper, but not exactly the normal one she’d been using during lunch either. “Enya and I have been friends since forever, and we’ve always been one big family. Her kids were like my own kids, and vice versa.”
Ellie nodded. Yes, she’d heard the story already: from Adam, from Lauren, even from Adam’s mother the last time Ellie had been at the bakery. Why was Jenna telling her again?
“When I lost my daughter, I’d feared at some point I’d lose Adam, too. He was a shell of the guy I used to know, and I thought he’d never be able to go on without Hannah.” Jenna shook her head and stared at her feet. “They’d been together forever, even before they realized their feelings for each other, back in high school. They’d been play buddies and best friends before they turned into a couple. Seeing one without the other was nearly inconceivable.”
Ellie swallowed the bile that crawled up her throat. She knew Hannah was the love of Adam’s life, she knew she could never compete with her, since Ellie had known him all of a couple of months while Hannah had known him since they were born. They had a child together, and if she hadn’t died so tragically, they’d probably still be going strong. She didn’t need a lecture from Adam’s mother-in-law, or to be reminded how Ellie would never be Adam’s first choice.
“I know I probably shouldn’t be here today,” Ellie said, thinking once again that showing up at their family lunch had been a bad idea, especially since Hannah’s family was here, too. “I know I’ll never be—”
“Please don’t get me wrong,” Jenna interrupted, resting her hand on Ellie’s shoulder. She resisted the urge to flinch. “I don’t mean to make you feel unwelcome or anything. I guess I took the long way around when all I should’ve said was: thank you for making Adam happy, for bringing him back to life again.”
Jenna’s worried frown softened into a smile, and Ellie wondered if maybe she’d been too quick to judge her.
“I hadn’t heard him laugh in a long time. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh, a real belly laugh, in the three years since Hannah died. Thank you for doing that to him.” Jenna took Ellie’s hand and squeezed it. “Seeing him happy again is like a balm for my heart. Hannah wouldn’t have wanted him to throw his life away, and neither do I. He’s got so much love to give, and I knew he only needed to find the right woman to show him his life wasn’t over.”
Ellie smiled, even as tears pricked behind her eyelids. She definitely hadn’t expected to be having this kind of conversation with Hannah’s mother, and now she felt silly for thinking the woman had been trying to scare her away.
“There’s only one thing I need to ask of you, and I hope you don’t think I’m overstepping my boundaries here.” Jenna bit her trembling bottom lip and inhaled deeply before meeting Ellie’s eyes. “If things between you and Adam turn serious, and I truly hope they will, I hope you’ll still let me be part of Sophie’s life. She’s all I have left of my daughter, and I couldn’t live without that adorable little girl.”
Ellie’s jaw dropped. Oh my God, the woman thought Ellie was going to turn into the evil stepmother and cut all ties with Hannah’s family. Was that the impression Ellie had given Adam’s family, too? Chills skittered along her spine at the thought she’d come off as a cold-hearted woman who wanted Adam all for herself.
“Jenna, you don’t have to worry about any of that.” She put a hand on Jenna’s shoulder and smiled. “Adam and I are still getting to know each other, so I can’t tell you if things will evolve into something more; but whatever happens, I’d never want to keep Sophie from the family who loves her so much. You can spend as much time with your granddaughter as you want, and I have absolutely no right to say otherwise. I don’t ever want you to think I’d ask you to stop being part of Sophie’s life.”
“Thank you.” Jenna let out a relieved breath and used a knuckle to wipe a stray tear from the corner of her eye. “I’ve always hoped Adam would love again and move on with his life, but deep down I was scared his new wife wouldn’t want me around, seeing as I’d be a reminder of Hannah and all she meant to Adam. I appreciate your understanding, Ellie. You’re a good woman, and Adam’s lucky to have met you.”
Ellie smiled, even though all she wanted to do was flee out the door and run back to her cottage where she could think properly about whether or not she was ready to start something serious with Adam—and, most importantly, whether he was ready to be with someone who wasn’t Hannah, who wasn’t his first and only love.
“Everything okay?” Adam’s deep voice coming from behind her held a hint of worry. Ellie nodded and put on her best ‘everything’s peachy’ expression before turning to face him. His frown eased a little when she smiled. “I thought you couldn’t find your way back to the living room, so I came looking for you. Jenna, are you crying?”
He took a step with his arms outstretched toward her, but the woman waved him away. “I’m okay. You know I tend to get a little emotional during our family gatherings; nothing to worry about. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”
She disappeared behind the wooden door, and when the lock clicked Ellie looked up at Adam, to find him staring at her with a quirked eyebrow. “Please, tell me she didn’t say something mean to you, that she wasn’t trying to scare you away or something.”
He took her hands and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her as soon as her body collided with his. She buried her face into his burgundy sweater, breathing him in, his citrusy cologne, fabric softener, and just him. She pondered telling him the truth, but now wasn’t the place or time. Besides, Ellie had gotten the distinct vibe that her conversation with Jenna wasn’t meant to be shared with anyone else.
“She didn’t. She got a little emotional telling me anecdotes from the past.”
She hated lying to him, but she didn’t want to ruin a happy family meeting, in case Adam got upset with his mother-in-law. The poor woman had meant no harm; it wasn’t her fault that Ellie was so insecure around Adam and thought she’d never be able to compete with the ghost of an amazing wife, who’d been taken from him too soon and was still missed every single day.
Ellie squeezed him a little and turned her chin up to look at him. She smiled, and his stare softened, turning his eyes to pools of dark chocolate. He’d trimmed his beard to barely two-day stubble today, saying his mother had never really liked the scruffy look he’d been sporting ever since he’d stopped shaving after Hannah died, but Ellie couldn’t bring herself to agree with Enya. She’d seen pictures of him around his parents’ house, younger versions of the three brothers and their cousins, as well as a grown-up version of Adam without a beard, on his and Hannah’s wedding day. He was mouthwatering in a black tux, his dark hair cut short and a clean-shaven face, showing the dimple in his right cheek that was now hidden under his dark stubble most of the time. But even though she’d never been a fan of facial hair, she couldn’t deny that she loved present Adam much better. The slight scratch of his stubble when he kissed her, or when she stroked his face, always caused a flurry of tingles to dance around her body. Not to mention, the scruff gave him a mysterious, fascinating look that never failed to make her heart leap in her chest when he looked at her.
“Have I got whipped cream on my face or something?” He frowned, scrubbing a hand over his face.
Ellie laughed. “No. You’re okay. I was just…” She felt like a love-sick teenager who’d never known love before and still believed fairy tales existed. And in a way, maybe it was exactly so. She’d never really known what loving someone meant, not until this wonderful man had walked into her life and showed her what true love was. “I was appreciating your beautiful face.”
Adam chuckled. “I think you’ve had too much to drink. Come on, let’s go get you some coffee to clear your mind.”
He placed a soft kiss on her brow, wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her back to the living room, where Cayden, his twin siblings, and Sophie were playing a game of Whac-A-Mole in a cacophony of cheers and laughter.
She’d be willing to do anything to be part of this amazing family, even come to terms with the fact she’d never really be Adam’s true love.
* * *
When he’d realized that neither Ellie nor Jenna were going to fess up and admit what they’d really been talking about, Adam decided to let it go, at least until he could get Ellie alone and pull the truth out of her.
Besides Jenna’s tears, which had been a dead giveaway something was wrong, Ellie had looked like she was ready to run, and he had to know why. If it was something Jenna had said, he’d talk to her and make things clear.
He’d known Jenna all of his life, so he doubted she’d been intentionally nasty to Ellie, but he was wise enough to understand that, as much as Jenna wanted his happiness, it must be tough for her to see him with another woman, to realize he was ready to move on after only three years. She’d lost her eldest daughter, because of him, and not only had he let one of the men involved in the robbery run away and had been unable to find him, now he’d let another woman into his life, into his heart, in a way tarnishing the memory of Hannah and all they’d shared.
On the other hand, he also understood how hard it must’ve been for Ellie to be there, surrounded by his family and the ghost of Hannah that was still lingering in the house, smiling at them from the picture of their wedding day. She’d never once let her uneasiness show, smiling and chatting with his family as if she’d always been a member of their clan, but when she thought nobody was looking, he’d noticed her slightly slumped shoulders, or the way her eyes had lingered a little on the pictures on the mantel shelf and on the walls.
They came home late in the afternoon. His mother had tried to persuade him to stay for dinner, but he felt the need to go home, spend a little time with Ellie and his baby girl. Besides, he couldn’t have eaten even a piece of popcorn if his life depended on it. Jenna’s cheesecake had been the last nail in his coffin, and he was just about ready to explode.
Ellie had gone back to her cottage, claiming she had to feed Bobcat and check he hadn’t destroyed her living room as a punishment for being left alone all day, but he was sure it was just an excuse so she could be alone with her thoughts. She promised she’d go spend some time with him later, so they could have a cup of tea or coffee in front of the fire, watching a Disney movie with Sophie before her bedtime.
His doorbell rang shortly after seven, and he let out the breath he’d been holding since he kissed her goodbye outside his car with a quick peck. From the way she’d gone all quiet on the ride home, he’d feared she wouldn’t show up and he’d have to spend the night tossing and turning in his bed, wondering what had happened.
“Hi. I’ve brought cookies.” Her smile was as cute as always, making him wonder whether his imagination had just gone a bit overboard earlier. She’d changed into a pair of loose-fitting black pants and a baggy silver sweatshirt, with a matching black and white polka-dot headband. He loved the way she’d started to let go around him, wearing comfortable clothes, without worrying about always looking prim and proper the way she did when she was around other people. She’d opened the door a crack, letting him take a peek into the intimacy of her life, and he couldn’t wait until she opened the door completely and showed him the real Ellie.
“We might have to eat those after Sophie’s asleep, or she’ll be on a sugar high until dawn, and I’d have to ask you to stay here and babysit with me.” He winked, and his arm snaked around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss as he kicked the door shut. A yap coming from behind him alerted him to Sophie’s imminent approach, seeing as Meatball went wherever Sophie did. His daughter’s giggles proved him right.
“Hi Miss Ellie! You know, Meatball pooped in the garden when we came home, but Daddy wasn’t angwy. He said the flowers will be nicer next year. Maybe you should let Meatball poop on your flowers too, so they’re more beautiful.”
Ellie laughed and crouched to pet Meatball, who wagged her tail and let out a couple of contented yaps. “Maybe we should try next spring, see if the flowers grow taller. Will you come and poop in my garden, Meatball?”
Sophie grinned, and her eyes grew big when they registered the box of cookies in Ellie’s hand. “I like those cookies. They’re my favowite.”
“I thought your grandmothers’ were your favorite.” Adam picked her up before she could reach for the cookies, and used his most serious tone. As appealing as the idea of being up all night with Ellie was, he was way too tired to deal with Sophie on a sugar high. “And I thought you said you were so full you could only drink a glass of milk for your dinner.”
“Milk tastes better wif cookies, Daddy.”
He had to work hard to keep a serious face, even though laughter bubbled in his throat. He couldn’t really contradict her on that, but he had to be the responsible parent now, not the funny daddy who let her have it her way. “You can have the cookies tomorrow morning, with your breakfast. Now go and pick the DVD you want to watch, while Miss Ellie and I put the cookies in a safe place.”
Sophie nodded and ran toward her collection of movies as soon as he put her down, with Meatball running after her. Adam took Ellie’s hand and pulled her into the kitchen, behind the half wall that separated it from the living room. He checked Sophie wasn’t watching before he leaned in and stole a quick kiss.
They’d been very careful not to kiss or hug whenever Sophie was around, mainly because Adam thought she’d need time to adjust to this new situation, where her teacher was also her father’s girlfriend. He planned to sit down with his daughter and try to explain his feelings for Ellie when the time was right. It wasn’t an easy task, since he didn’t want to confuse her, so he’d postponed the speech every time the opportunity had arisen. He should do it soon, though, if he wanted to be free to kiss Ellie whenever he felt like it.
“Tell me what happened between you and Jenna this afternoon,” he whispered in her ear, cutting straight to the chase. Once Sophie had picked the movie, they wouldn’t have time to discuss it. “And don’t say ‘nothing’, because I know something was wrong. I saw it in your eyes. If she was rude or mean, you should tell me. I love Jenna like a second mother, but she has no right to interfere or—”
“No, she didn’t mean any harm. She just…” She chewed her bottom lip and tried to take a step back, but his hands caught her before she could put too much distance between them. “She just wanted to make sure if we kept, uh, dating she could still see Sophie. She was scared I’d ask her to stop being a part of your daughter’s life, just because she’s Hannah’s mother, and she thought I wouldn’t want her around.”
Adam let out a chuckle. “She can be a little melodramatic at times; please forgive her.”
Ellie shook her head. “I don’t really blame her. I’ve come out of nowhere and taken the place that had always been her daughter’s, that should still be—”
“Ellie, please. Don’t, okay? You aren’t taking anyone’s place. I’m with you because I want to, because I like you and don’t want to be away from you. Not because I need to fill a hole in my life or a seat around the table.”
Ellie nodded. “I know you mean well, but I walked into this with my eyes wide open. Hannah will always be a part of your life, and I would never in a million years ask you to forget her. But deep down I’m also aware that I’ll never really be able to fill Hannah’s shoes, no matter how hard I try. From the way people in town talk about her, she was a wonderful person who was good to everyone. She shouldn’t have died in such a tragic way, and I’m sure if she were still here, you’d still be happily together in your blissful marriage.”
Adam tugged on her hand and pulled her close to him. He took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. Her words had pierced his heart, but more than the slight truth in them, it was the uncertainty in her tone that did it. She thought he didn’t care about her, that he was only taking advantage of her being handy, since she lived right next door.
“Don’t ever think you need to fill anyone’s shoes. I’ve never expected you to and I never will. You’re just as amazing in your own special ways as Hannah was in hers. Don’t compare yourself to her, because you’re just too different—that’s one of the reasons why I like you.” He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, breathing in the faint scent of the flowery perfume she’d had on earlier today. “I don’t want a surrogate for my dead wife; if I did, I would’ve found one long ago. I’ve let you into my life, into Sophie’s life, because I like the way you make me feel, the happiness you bring into our lives. I like you for who you are, and I don’t want you to try and be anyone else but you.”
“I know, but…” Ellie turned her face to the side and avoided his stare. “We barely know each other, while you two had known each other forever. Hannah was the love of your life, I know I can’t compete with that, and I’m okay with it, but I’m afraid you—”
“Hannah was the love of young Adam’s life, but you could be the love of grown-up Adam’s life.” He smiled and brushed the pads of his thumbs across her cheeks. “I still love Hannah and I always will, but for the first time in three years, I’m ready to let love in again, and it’s because of you, the way you opened my eyes and woke me from the hibernation I’d fallen into the day Hannah died.”
“I’m sorry I’m being whiny. You’re such a wonderful man, I’m afraid I’ll wake up and find you were just a figment of my imagination.”
“I can’t blame you for being scared of trusting someone else, seeing as the last time you trusted a man with your heart, he crushed it and destroyed your professional life as well.” He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, and his lips lingered there for a moment. “But trust me when I say I’d never want to hurt you or deceive you.”
“I want to watch The Little Mermaid, Daddy.” Sophie came bounding toward them with a DVD in her hands, interrupting their conversation. Ellie took a step back, deftly disentangling herself from him before Sophie could see them.
Adam gave a mental sigh. Grown-up time’s over, Daddy.
But this chat wasn’t over. As soon as Sophie was asleep, he’d make sure Ellie knew how much she meant to him, if he had to talk all night to convince her.