I’m still seething with rage as we drive to Mom’s. The things that Vaughn did to her…sick. The things I’m going to do to him…sicker. From the passenger seat, Violet nervously chews on her nail. She’s similar to me in the way that she is neat and orderly. Because of her past, she’s been driven to keep her life organized just so. I hate having to take her to Mom’s but she seems so willing to help.
It fucking moves me.
I knew Friday when I locked eyes with her that I’d sentenced us to death. After a lifetime of love of course. But she’d be mine until the end. A crooked piece inside of me seemed to straighten the moment she became the main fixture in my life.
I’m trying desperately not to move too fast. The last thing I want to do is scare her away. But keeping my shiny little Violet on her pedestal in front of me is where she belongs. I want to cherish her forever.
I reach over and grab her thigh through her jeans. Her palm covers the back of my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. This woman is the filling for the void that’s sat inside my chest for as long as I can remember. My life feels complete now. I’m going to work myself so far into her heart, she’ll never want me to leave.
As we drive, I can’t help but feel disappointed about earlier when she wanted to use a condom. Doesn’t she know I want to put my seed inside of her? That I want her pregnant with my child? I’d suggest we marry tomorrow if I didn’t think she’d send me packing. Violet is like an abused puppy. It will take time to gain her trust. I want to cuddle the fuck out of her and put a collar around her throat that says she belongs to me.
“What are you thinking about?” she questions, her thumb stroking across the back of my hand.
How crazy you make me.
How my heart beats only for you.
How my brain won’t let your face leave its presence.
How I’m going to blurt out that I love you long before the socially acceptable time because the internal raging fires that burn for you are out of fucking control.
“How beautiful you are,” I tell her with a smile.
She laughs. “Somehow I feel there’s more, but I’ll let it slide since you’re so sweet.”
She has no idea just how much more…
“We’re here,” I tell her, my smile fading as anxiety sets in as I park next to my sister’s Camaro.
“This is a nice home,” she murmurs.
It’s more than nice on the outside. My childhood home sits at the end of the street in an expensive neighborhood. The homes in the area sell in the millions.
The neatly manicured lawn and fresh paint job hide the horrific secrets that lie inside. The chaos and disorder. The absolute madness. The hired lawn people on call help keep up pretenses.
“Do you want to sit in the car?” I question.
She’s already climbing out. “No. I can handle this. Your mom needs you.”
I scrub my face with my palm and inhale a fortifying breath. This is going to be difficult. Last time I came by was when one of Mom’s shelves fell on her. My skin still crawls from having to pull all that shit off of her.
I hop out of the car and stalk across the lawn to the front door. Behind me, Violet is quiet but I know she has my back. I’m embarrassed, but she’s already seen Gwen and she’s been warned.
“Breathe through your mouth,” I mutter as I push through the unlocked door.
One of the only few clean rooms in this house is the foyer but I can tell that will soon change. Her mess is starting to spill out of doorways into the space. Soon, there will be no hiding this from people. I cringe to think about that day when a postman or nosy neighbor spreads the news about what lies in this house.
A scent that’s part feces and part rotting garbage immediately suffocate me. Despite breathing through my mouth, I can’t help but choke on the disgusting smell. Violet doesn’t let on her disgust because she’s quiet.
“Gwen?” I call out.
“In the basement,” she hollers back from within the house.
“Fuck,” I hiss under my breath. “The basement is the worst.”
I stalk down the hallway until I reach the dining room that leads to the kitchen where the basement door is. As soon as the dining room comes into view, I shudder. There is a small walking path but garbage and shopping bags and boxes are stacked waist high. You can’t see the dining room table—the same table my father made me eat Wail at. The entire room is a sea of junk and trash.
“This way,” I utter, grabbing Violet’s hand. I guide her behind me so she doesn’t fall.
“Oh,” she chokes out upon reaching the kitchen. More of the same in here. Trash and a pile of stinking dishes are bulging from the sink. There is a small walkway to the refrigerator and one more to the basement door that’s been wrenched open. I grab the handle and pull it open more so I can squeeze through. Light illuminates the stairwell but there is so much crap piled up on the stairs that it’s no wonder she fell. At the bottom of the stairwell, Gwen sits in a pile of garbage with Mom’s head in her lap.
“Mom,” I call out. “You okay?”
She waves a hand at me dismissively. “Of course, sweetheart. Just being clumsy again. I told your sister not to call you and that when I catch my breath I’ll get back up.”
“Nonsense,” I grumble. “I’ll carry you out of there.”
“Do you need help?” Violet questions, her breath merely a whisper.
I look over my shoulder and shake my head. “Just hold the door open when I make it back up here.” Once she nods in confirmation, I squeeze through the door and begin my descent.
“Shield her from anything that falls,” I instruct Gwen.
My sister scrambles into a standing position and moves in front of our mother. “Okay. Ready.”
I’m larger than both of them so when I begin climbing down, boxes and bags and garbage start crashing down to the bottom. I nearly knock over a stack of magazines but right the wiggling tower before it topples over.
The smell gets worse the farther down I go. Stinks of raw sewage. Fuck. I don’t know what to do when it comes to Mom and Gwen. Once, I tried to get people out here to clean up and they were both so distraught, I pulled the plug immediately. But the thought of Mom getting sick from leaky pipes creating mold or something worries me.
When I reach the bottom, Gwen hugs me tight. “Thanks for coming, big brother.”
I kiss the top of her head and grunt. “You just use me for my muscles,” I tease.
Mom laughs. “Oh stop, you two. How’s work been, honey?”
“Good,” I tell her as I slide my arms beneath my mom’s slight frame. “Just closed on a property recently. I’m going to go out of town to see it for a few days.”
“How wonderful,” she says beaming at me. “You look so handsome. Just like your father.” Her smile fades and her eyes grow distant. “How is he, anyway?”
I’m not going down that rabbit hole.
Not now. Not ever.
“He’s fine. He told me to tell you hello,” I lie.
Her blue eyes flicker with light. “Oh, how I miss him. Tell him I’ll come visit him for lunch in the city next week.”
I nod and smile back at her. We both lie to each other. She’s never leaving this house except on a gurney. He never asks about her.
I trip over something and crash toward the wall. My shoulder hits the drywall, but it’s better than her head. With more exertion and grunting, I manage to climb the mountain of trash until I reach the top. The door gets wrenched open, and I step into the narrow pathway.
“You need to lie down. Where are you sleeping these days?” I question. The bedroom upstairs has long been filled and abandoned.
“Laundry room beside the front bathroom,” she tells me.
I wince. “Laundry room it is.” I twist my body to face Violet. “Mom, this is Violet. My girlfriend.”
“Oh…” Mom chokes out, embarrassment causing her to tense up. “Oh…”
“Violet?” Gwen squeaks out in surprise when she emerges from the basement stairwell. “What are you doing here?” The terror in her voice makes my heart rate quicken.
“We were together when you called,” I tell Gwen gently. “She wanted to help.”
Gwen’s features harden and she shoves past me disappearing out of the kitchen. I shoot Violet an apologetic look.
“Excuse my manners,” Mom says to Violet. “And Gwen’s. We’re just not used to visitors. Had I known you were coming, I’d have straightened up a bit.”
“Violet doesn’t care about a little clutter,” I assure Mom. “Do you, baby?”
Violet shakes her head. “Nope. Your home is lovely. Were those begonias I saw by the front porch?”
Mom nods and beams at her. “Enrique planted those. I’m quite fond of them.”
“They’re beautiful,” Violet murmurs.
I flash her a look of gratitude before wading my way through the hoard of junk toward the laundry room. Once inside, I’m irritated to find that my mom folded up a bunch of blankets to make a makeshift bed on top of the side-by-side washer and dryer. Even the laundry room is filled with junk. I’ve long gotten over the fact that Mom doesn’t wash laundry or dishes or anything. I pay the city to take the trash two times a week but my gut tells me Mom never has anything to put out at the curb.
Violet pushes past me into the laundry room and smoothes out the blankets and situates the pillows. I set Mom down on her bed and Violet proceeds to cover her up. Mom, no longer embarrassed, stares at Violet as if she’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
I glance over at my woman.
She’s sure as fuck the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I’m going to go check on Gwen. Can you stay and make sure she’s okay?” I ask Violet.
When she smiles and nods, I lean forward and kiss her forehead. “Thank you, baby.”
I can hear Mom chattering to her as I exit the laundry room. The mere idea of climbing the stairs has me shuddering, but I know Gwen is upstairs in my old room. It’s the only place in the house they won’t fill up with junk for some reason. Whenever I tell Mom she should sleep in there, she just shakes me off and says she’s saving the room in case I ever need to come back.
It takes several minutes and a couple of dry heaving moments until I pass by one of the bathrooms but I eventually make it to my bedroom. Once I push inside, I take a deep breath. Everything is just as I left it. Dad, that asshole, had been right. I needed to get away. I’d let Mom nurse me back to health after my extensive burns, but the moment I was healed, I left.
Gwen lies on the bed with her back to me. With a sigh, I crawl in beside her and hug her. “Don’t be mad, sis.”
She sniffles. “She’ll think we’re disgusting. How could you bring her here?”
Guilt shoots through me. “Violet’s different. She’s going to be a part of this family one day. I don’t want to start something with secrets. Everything is out in the open.”
She rolls onto her back and regards me with a tear-stained face that reminds me of when she was younger. “Does she know what’s in the chest?”
I frown. “There’s just stuff in there.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Nothing important,” I huff.
Her nostrils flare. “She must not be that important then.”
When Gwen gets upset, she goes on the offensive and says things that are meant to sting. Luckily, I’ve played these games a thousand times with her.
“Are you okay?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Mom just scared me,” she admits with a choked sob. “When she called me, she was disoriented.” A tear leaks out of her eye. “She’s been falling a lot lately but mostly she seems to be forgetting things.” Another tear races out. “People.”
“What do you mean?” I demand, worry creeping its way through me.
“She hasn’t recognized me a couple of times.”
I frown and look past her out the dark window. “Gwen…”
“I know.”
“I’ll call tomorrow.”
She sniffles. “I’m not like her.”
Oh, baby sister, but you’re exactly the same.
“I know.” Lies.
“I’m just messy. Artists are messy,” she assures me. “I can clean it all up whenever I want.”
I smile. “Of course you can.”
Her eyes fall closed. “Maybe I should see Dr. Ward again.”
Hope blossoms in my chest. “She was one of the few people you liked.”
“But she made me angry,” she whispers, her eyes flying open.
I smirk at her. “I make you angry all the time and you don’t fire me.”
“I wish I could sometimes,” she teases, amusement flickering in her eyes.
“I’ll call Dr. Ward and set it up.” I lean forward and kiss her forehead. “Thank you.”
She nods and sniffles again. “I can’t face Violet right now, though.”
“It’s okay,” I assure her. “Can you look after Mom tonight for me? I’d like to go home and finish what I started with my girlfriend.” I waggle my eyebrows to tease her.
A groan escapes her. “Gross. And girlfriend?” Her eyebrow lifts playfully. “That was awfully quick.”
I shrug as I climb back off the bad. “Since when do I ever take my time with anything?”
“Since never.”
“Damn straight.”
“Are you sure?” I ask as I wrap one of my thick plush towels around Violet’s perfect body.
She laughs. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“I think I like you here at my place,” I tell her with a grin. “My bed is bigger anyway. More room to fuck you on.”
“Honestly, Gray!” she squeaks. “You’re always so crude.”
“You like it,” I argue as I saunter my naked ass out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. I’m just pulling back the covers when I notice her stop in front of the chest.
“What’s in there?”
All happiness and playfulness fade away. “Nothing important.”
Her eyes narrow at me. “I care about unimportant things too.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell her, scowling. “Trust me. It doesn’t matter.”
Hurt flashes in her eyes. As much as I want to open up to her, I don’t want to about this. At least not this early on.
“Open it,” she whispers.
“No.”
Fire flashes in her eyes as she kneels and starts fiddling with the lock.
“Stop,” I growl. If she tries too hard, she’ll figure out the combination. It’s the same as her debit card PIN number. I know this because I made them the same.
She starts turning the dial, ignoring me.
“Goddammit, Violet,” I snap. “It’s none of your fucking business.”
My words cause her back to stiffen. The towel loosens and slides down her back to her hips. Her smooth flesh calls to me but it reddens quickly with her anger. She jerks her gaze over her shoulder.
“I want to go home.”
My heart sinks and I fall to my knees behind her. “No,” I tell her as I hug her middle and pull her bare back against my clean chest. “Stay.”
“I’ll stay if you tell me what’s inside.”
I growl when she tosses away the towel and rubs her naked ass against my hardening cock. “No.”
“Please,” she begs, her voice breathless.
“Nothing inside that chest matters,” I reply as my hands roam her silky body. “All that matters to me anymore is you.”
To prove my point, I guide my dick inside her. She grips the chest and lets out a needy moan. I tangle my fingers in her wet hair, pulling her head back, as I drive hard into her.
“Gray,” she hisses.
My balls slap against her pussy with every thrust. She’s tight and clean and fucking mine. As I fuck her, I stick my thumb into my mouth to wet it. When I push it against her tight asshole, she lets out a whimper.
“Touch your clit,” I order, my voice low and husky.
She obeys but her ass clenches. “It’s going to hurt.”
“What happened was a long time ago,” I assure her, my tone gentle. “I’m going to make you feel good.”
Trust—such a beautiful little bird—gets released from her cage. She relaxes and allows me access. As promised, I ease my thumb inside her tight channel. My thrusting slows until I’ve got my thumb all the way inside her.
“You okay, little quitter?”
“Yes…”
“Yes but?”
“I’m still scared.”
I begin slowly sliding my thumb in and out of her in unison with my cock that’s inside her cunt. Soon, she’s rocking against me, very much into our little ass play.
“When it comes to me, you have nothing to fear. Ever,” I vow. “Every single thought. Every goddamned action revolves around you. I don’t think you understand how much you’ve embedded yourself inside me.”
She moans in response. “Gray…”
“Nobody else will ever have you because you’re mine,” I bite out as impending pleasure begins to settle in my balls. “Say it, baby. Tell me who you belong to.”
“You,” she whispers without hesitation.
Pride surges through me. I’m not the most normal guy on the block. I’m obsessive to a fault and possessive as fuck. I don’t quite understand her quickness to give in to me but I feed off it.
“I’m going to protect you, and when you let me, I’m going to love you. I’m going to stamp myself all over your heart and your pussy. You’re going to wear my ring and take my last name. Why, Violet?”
She cries out when I slap her ass. “Because I’m yours.”
“Fucking right you are. And I’m going to come inside your pretty little cunt. No more goddamned condoms.” I growl. “Why, Violet?” When she doesn’t answer, I slap her ass again.
“Because I’m yours.”
“Good girl,” I praise. “No more morning-after pills.”
She shudders as an orgasm ripples through her. Her body seems to choke the hell out of my cock. I’m grunting, my thrusts ragged and uneven, as I desperately try not to come too soon. “How did you know—” she starts.
“No more morning-after pills,” I hiss, interrupting her. “Why, Violet?”
“B-Because I’m yours,” she murmurs, her entire body still quivering.
“If you get knocked up, it’s going to be okay. Why, Violet?”
When she doesn’t respond, I reach around and swat her hand away so I can massage her clit. She starts shuddering wildly from the overdose of pleasure.
“Why, Violet?”
“Because I’m yours.”
Her words send me over the edge, and I come with a feral growl. This seems to set her off again because she screams my name as her body seizes wildly with pleasure. I slide my thumb out of her ass and admire how her hole clenches back tight. One day I’ll show her how good it will feel to have all of me there. My cock throbs out the rest of my release. As soon as I’ve given her all I have, I slide out and watch with fucking glee as my white seed runs back out of her glistening red cunt. It drips on the floor, pooling between her knees.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re hot,” I tell her, pride rippling from my voice.
“When you talk dirty, you’re pretty hot too,” she admits, peeking at me over her shoulder. Her eyes are hooded and her cheeks are rosy from exertion. I pin her with a serious stare.
“I meant every word, baby.”
Her plump lips part open. She starts to say something but then closes her mouth. “I’m tired.”
I snag her towel and clean her up. When I scoop her into my arms, she regards me with a soft look that makes me want to climb inside her head.
“This is happening,” I tell her, my forehead resting against hers. “We are happening. I want this.” Her eyes remain slightly guarded, but I see the flicker of hope.
She wants this too.