Chapter 10
ALISON
“You haven’t talked to him at all?” Sarah stared at me like I had three heads. “He pulled together an entire party, including your celebrity boyfriend making an appearance, and you haven’t even said thank you?”
“I’ve been so busy!” I felt terrible, truly. My birthday party was one I would probably never forget. I mean, Maroon5 was there. Singing to me. As a private gig. The cost of that alone was enough to make me want to vomit. Why did Jack go through all that trouble just for me? I’d shut down every advance he’d made for the sake of professionalism. I’d turned into a freaking popsicle every time he flirted with me to make it clear I was not someone he was going to fuck and run away from. My momma did not raise me that way and I sure as hell wasn’t about to start. “Besides, I sent him a thank you text….?”
Sarah nearly dropped her mascara wand and gaped at me.
“That’s really bad, isn’t it?” I added hastily.
“Terrible.”
I took a bite of the bagel I’d grabbed from the hospitality table and groaned. “I’m the worst.”
“Yes. Yes, you are.” Sarah finished her makeup and sat in her chair. “I know how you can thank him.”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“You know you want to.”
“I know he doesn’t get involved in relationships.”
“Did I say buy a dog together? No. I said thank him. Two totally different things, Alison.”
I dropped into the chair next to her. “You know why I won’t.”
“Yes.” She nodded empathetically. “And I get it. But I think he’s really into you. None of this hit it and quit it nonsense AMZ likes to pitch. Think about the Levine, Alison. Would he really go through all those hoops to land that guy just so he can fuck you once? No. That says serious.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe nothing. Where are you going?”
I pointed to the set. “Um, to work? Welcome to our jobs. We do this every day. Auditions finished for the week with Christina, so I’m able to be here all day. Why are you looking at me like that?”
Sarah hesitated. “Did you check the scene list for the day?”
I shook my head. “Why?”
“It’s The Big Day.”
My stomach fell to my knees. Of course. Just last night, Denver had been up here for hours, setting up cameras for the big sex scene between Jack and Lena, when I called him last night. How had I just forgotten that?
“Cool.” I forced a smile.
“Alison…”
“What? Listen, it’s no big deal. First of all, it’s all totally fake. Secondly, Lena is a lesbian, so it’s not like she’s going to be seriously into it past what’s needed for the film. And finally, we aren’t an item, so it doesn’t really matter.”
“Alison.”
“Are you going to come watch?”
Sarah poked out her lower lip. “Denver always keeps it a closed set on Sex Day. We’re going to be hanging out behind the wall to listen.”
“I’ll take a mental picture for you.” I winked at her and went to join Denver behind the camera.
Lena and Jack were already positioned in the bed, listening intently to Denver going over the blocking, so I pulled up a chair next to the monitors for a closer look. These racy days were ones that everyone looked forward to, maybe not the actors involved so much, but it was a treat for everyone else.
It struck me how comfortable Jack and Lena were with each other. In the framed shot, just listening to Denver, they looked so… content. Like they’d done this before. Probably had, right? Sex and Hollywood were pretty synonymous.
Denver hurried back to his seat and nodded hello to me before making a few notes and yelling, “Action!”
Their chemistry was immediate. Watching Jack in the flesh was almost otherworldly. He’d done plenty of scenes like this in several movies, but to see it in person? To see the way he arched his back or to hear his grunts without the smoothed audio? The thoughts pouring through my head were entirely too private and definitely not safe for work.
He was an animal, primal and dominating, but also tender. The way he looked at Lena, the way he kissed her lips and her collarbone, was so full of passion that it unlocked something deep inside me that began to frantically claw its way up, seething and ripping into my bones.
I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to rip him off her and dig my nails into her smooth skin. I wanted to mar her in such a way that Jack would never be able to look so tenderly at her ever again. The faintest, tiniest voice in my head cried out, “Stop this madness! Lena doesn’t even like guys!” but it was squelched with an intense roll of jealousy that almost knocked me sideways.
“Cut!” Denver broke my thoughts and hopped out of his chair to start repositioning cameras.
My chest felt heavy watching them, blushing and giggling in the nude. Lena was beautiful: blonde, thin, busty, great mouth. She was edgy and dangerous and had a mouth that made everyone either blush or cheer. She was gritty but kind. I was nothing like her. She was everything a guy like him wanted and I was nothing. All those times he came on to me and I shot him down…for what? Because I was too good for him? Because I was scared?
“You okay?” Denver settled next to me with his notepad. “You look ill.”
“No, actually.” I took a shaky breath but my heart didn’t still. “I’m going to get some water.”
“Does someone need to go with you? You look like you’re going to faint.”
I managed to shake my head and stumbled out of the curtained-off area. I grabbed a bottle of water from the hospitality table and tried to purge my thoughts as I walked, but I couldn’t. All I could picture was Jack fucking Lena. The way his body moved, the intensity in his face. This was all make-believe and yet I couldn’t get the train of anguish to stop tearing through my mind.
Somehow, I ended up at his trailer. It wasn’t intentional. I wanted to get far away, away from the set and from Jack. I should have stayed home today, slept for hours and hours while I could. Coming up here was stupid. Getting jealous while he did his job was stupid, and I didn’t care.
A beast had been awakened within and it was insatiable. The only way to satiate it was Jack.
“This is insane,” I snapped at myself. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Good question.”
I cried out and jumped, terror pumping through me at the sudden voice. I’d lost track of time pacing and fretting and stressing, and I hadn’t noticed anyone come in. Jack was standing, fully-clothed, in the doorway of his trailer, smiling at me.
“I…um…sorry. I didn’t…I shouldn’t….” Words failed me, so I tried to push past him.
“Hey, hey.” His voice was kind, soft. Unlike the way he usually talked to me. Like the way he talked to Lena. Chills flooded through me. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were…here.”
“Even though you saw me on set?”
“… yes.”
“Mm-hmm.” Jack walked past me, grabbed some water from the mini fridge, and watched me carefully. A smile tugged on the corner of his mouth. “Sure it wasn’t because you couldn’t handle the heat on set today? I can’t blame you. I’m a sexy man.”
I felt like I was being consumed by fire from the inside out. I needed fresh air. I needed out. This whole morning was so stupid. I was so stupid. “I need to go.”
“But I just got here.”
“I shouldn’t have been in here.”
He blocked my way to the door. “But I like you here.”
“I need to…” We were now inches apart and my brain turned into a fuzzy mush. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. “I need to go.”
“What’s the matter?” Gone was the arrogant actor who strutted around the trailer naked or teased me on set. He was replaced by someone sincere. It threatened to destroy me. “Alison, what’s wrong?”
“I like you.” The words tumbled out of their own accord and I could only stand there in horror as they shattered around us. “Shit.”
I could feel his grin radiating down on me, even if I didn’t look at him. “I know that. But why does liking me make you so upset?”
“You… you know?” I stole a quick glance at him, his features knitted together, his brow prominent and strong. Just like him.
“Well, yeah.” He leaned in close, conspiratorially, and all I could smell was his spicy aftershave. “I can see you watching me when you think I’m not looking.”
“I…”
“But that still doesn’t explain why you ran off to my trailer in the middle of filming.” He trailed a long finger down my arm. At this point, all I had to do was tilt my head and we could kiss. His nearness enveloped me. “Were you sick?”
“It’s stupid,” I breathed.
“Tell me.”
I closed my eyes, wondering why I was even here. Except I knew why. I tried to fight and fight these feelings so I wouldn’t be just another notch on the belt. I ignored every kind thing he did and allowed myself to believe he was an asshole just so I wouldn’t get attached. But standing here, so close, stripped me bare. “To see you with…her…was impossible. The way you looked at her, and the way she looked at you was so…so real. And it made me feel so…”
“Jealous?” he whispered against me. He pressed himself against me, his hands on my hips. There was a hardness to him that unwrapped every desire within me, exposed. He gently pressed his lips to my neck and stole my breath. “Alison Coleman, do you really not know what you do to me?”
I shook my head, eyes squeezed tight, barely breathing or moving. This almost didn’t feel real and I was afraid if I moved, it would all be over.
“Let me tell you.” I felt his mouth curve upward against my neck when he kissed me again. “Every day, I see you and can think of nothing but bringing you back here, locking the door, and having my way with you. Every day, I see you in those tight skirts and tall heels and picture you on that pole, when you danced only for me. Every day, I fantasize what it would be like to do this.”
He tilted my chin upward and kissed me. I melted. There was no holding back, no resistance. There was no ego here, between us, only a biting raw passion that had been suffocated for months and was finally seeing the sun.
“Every second I was with Lena, I pictured her as you.” He pressed his forehead against mine and cupped my cheeks. “Alison, look at me. You… break me. When I kissed her, I was kissing you. When I touched her, I was touching you. When Denver told me to moan her name, in my mind, I was saying ‘Alison’.”
“But Lena is so—”
“It doesn’t matter.” He murmured this against my lips. I opened my mouth and took him in greedily, all of the heat in my body racing towards one center point that was now screaming for his touch. The hardness against his leg pressed against me and drew out a gasp. “I have wanted you from the moment I saw you. Lena is great, but Lena is not my type. The most perfect woman I have ever seen is standing right here in front of me.”
Just like that, I shattered across the floor. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
His nimble fingers had already undone half the buttons on my shirt, and he bent down and kissed the top of my breast. “I never lie. Never. And unless you’ve suddenly had a change of heart, Miss Coleman, I’m going to undress you and make love to you until you cry so loudly, they’ll hook up a boom mic and dub my scene over. I have spent the last month and a half thinking of no one but you, and I have a lot of time to make up.”
My shirt was on the floor. A moment later, so was my skirt. I stood there in nothing but heels and lingerie before the man who looked like he wanted to devour me in two bites. I popped my hip out to the side, rested my hand on it, and tossed my head.
“Boy, you only think you can handle this.”
A growl rumbled in his throat. “Is that a challenge?”
My heart raced faster than ever and my head was so light I worried it would fly away, but I held my ground and beckoned him with a finger. “Come and take me.”