Chapter Nine

Nathan

“So, I was really feeling down about everything that has happened, and Nick called me up,” she said, explaining what happened.

“Wait, what does Nick have to do with this?” I asked, as I drove down the street and away from the crowds.

“He asked if I wanted to go out to the club,” she said. “I just wanted to feel better so I said sure. He picked me up and took me there. Well, once we were there, he started feeding me drinks. When we were out on the dancefloor, he got really grabby, and I slapped him away.”

“Let me guess, he got pissed,” I said getting angry.

“He went over to VIP and started hooking up with this tall blonde chick,” she explained. “So, I tried to call Maria for a ride, and she didn’t answer. I tried to use the Uber app but I was too drunk to figure it out. I stopped and sat down, trying to find a cab, but there weren’t any. Then those guys came along, and well, you know the rest.”

I gritted my teeth and gripped onto the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles began to turn white. My idiot brother, too self-absorbed to care about anyone else, put Ronni in a situation where she could have gotten hurt, or worse. He abandoned her in the middle of the city at night, drunk as hell, and didn’t care enough to make sure she even got a cab back home.

It was a good thing I had pulled away from the club already because everything in me wanted to go in there and drag him out by his skinny fucking neck. Just wait until I get my damn hands on him and let our father know what kind of man he has turned into. If he thinks I’m going to sit back and keep my mouth shut any longer to avoid his embarrassment, he has another thing coming.

“I’m so sorry,” Ronni blurted out, tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been randomly driving down that exact street. I was so scared.”

I looked up from the road confused for a moment, not understanding what she was talking about. She had called my cell phone, and I could hear her talking in the background. She led me straight to her with her drunk mumbling and incoherent banter. I was scared to death when I heard her shouting at those guys. I almost killed ten people speeding through the streets to get to her. I looked over at her and down at her lap where her cell phone was sitting. I reached over and pressed the speaker button on my phone.

I pointed over to her lap and she looked down in confusion. “It wasn’t magic,” I said, hearing my voice echoing from the speaker.

Ronni looked over at my phone, and I could see the realization moving across her face. She picked up her phone and looked down at the call that was still in session. She shook her head and rubbed her hand over her eyes, clicking the phone off and tossing it in her purse. She sat quietly for a few seconds, staring out the window, and I wondered what was going on in her mind. I didn’t mean to act harsh or uncaring toward her. I was just so angry at my brother for being such a cocksucker. He had purposely hurt Ronni, and he didn’t even know it would affect me. It was probably a good thing he didn’t know since it might have been worse if he did. I could hear Ronni begin to sniffle, and she turned quickly in her seat, staring at me. That was when the words just started to flow from her mouth as if she no longer had any control over what she was saying.

“I barely ever drink,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve been so obsessed with grades, graduating from school, and making a life for myself that I didn’t have time for parties and clubs. Then I get here around you and I am making all kinds of decisions that aren’t like me. I’m having my heart broken by you, I’m getting wasted at a club and randomly being stranded out in the streets. Then I try to get home, but for the first time in San Diego history, there's not a damn cab anywhere. I couldn’t get my Uber app to work because it’s still linked to the East Coast. And then, I randomly dial you, which I’m really glad I did, but you have to get up and come rescue me, yet again. And all because I was stupid enough that I thought coming out tonight would make me feel better.”

“Okay, okay,” I said, rubbing her shoulder. “Relax. You’re only human, and after this long of keeping it together, especially after what you’ve been through, it’s okay for you to let your hair down. You just need to be a little pickier on who you put your trust in. Nick is an asshole and he only thinks about himself. Just when I start to believe there is something decent inside of him, he goes and pulls a stunt like this. Look, you don’t have to be sorry. I will always be there for you. We are family and we have been since the first time you and your family stepped foot into our home.”

She raised her hands to her face and began to sob. Her tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks, and she gasped between breaths. I didn’t know what happened to cause her to cry like this, but with every weak whine and sob, my heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest. She was in so much pain, and although I understood that she had every reason to feel that way, I didn’t know what these tears were for. But then again, maybe she didn’t either. Maybe they were for everything. Maybe they were for every terrible event she had been through. Every person ripped from her life without cause or justification. Maybe even a little of it was because of me.

To think that I had anything to do with this suffering made me feel sick to my stomach. She was such an amazing girl and she was going through hell right now, and I didn’t help make it any easier on her. All those times I could have reached out and I didn’t, leaving her to be strong on her own. I guess everyone has a breaking point, whether it’s early on or after years of suppressing those feelings and tears. I reached over and rubbed her back, hoping that she would get this out of her system and be able to see herself the way that I saw her.

We pulled up in front of the house and only Ronni’s car was in the driveway. Maria must be out, and that was why she didn’t get Ronni’s call. I got out of the car and rushed over to her side, opening the door and helping her out. She was still crying so I wrapped my arms around her and held her close as we walked toward the house. I could feel her body shaking in my arms, so I took the keys from her and opened the front door. She took in a deep breath and looked up at me, her makeup running down her cheeks and her big brown eyes bloodshot from crying.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” She looked so sad. “Just to hold me. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, I will,” I said, relieved that I didn’t have to leave her alone in this state.

She grabbed onto me as we walked back to her room. She had finally stopped sobbing, but I could tell she was absolutely exhausted from the night’s ordeal. We got into her room, and I quietly shut the door. I switched the light on next to her bed and pulled the curtains closed. Then I took her phone and her shoes from her hands. I turned her around and unzipped her dress, pulling it off her shoulders and helping her step out of it. She crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over her. I took off my shirt and shorts, laying them across the chair, and I climbed in next to her in my boxers. She rolled over on her side and faced me, her eyes puffy from crying.

“I’ve been working so hard this whole time,” she said. “And my dreams of success, I’ve patterned after you. You are so dedicated and hardworking, and you always have been. In college, the professor asked us to think about a businessman or woman that we wanted to be like, and you were the first person that popped into my head. So, I’ve worked extra hard, sacrificing my freedoms and my friends. I haven’t minded it at all, knowing one day I’ll be able to slow down. But without a family, sometimes it just gets really lonely.”

As soon as she spoke the word lonely, I immediately knew exactly what she was feeling. Ever since my mother died and I took over running the company, I had felt very alone. My mother was my rock throughout my life, and before taking over the company, I had a life with friends, romance, and a strong family. However, all of that changed in the blink of an eye, and there were more nights than not that I went to bed feeling completely alone, lost in the isolation that came as part of my life.

I leaned forward and kissed Ronni gently on the forehead, finally understanding so much more about her than I had before. She and I really weren’t all that different in the end. She scooted closer to me and laid her head on my chest. I stroked her hair with my hand until I could feel her body relax and her breathing deepen. I laid there, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about that loneliness. Suddenly, I realized that I couldn’t remember what it felt like, and that laying there with Ronni cuddled in my arms was the first time I hadn’t felt lonely since my mother died.

I took in a deep breath and scooted down slightly in the bed, propping the pillow under my head. Ronni had given in to the grief, the excitement of the evening, and the sheer amount of alcohol she had consumed. As she laid there, her head moving up and down as I breathed, I couldn’t think of another place I wanted to be, or another woman that I wanted to be with. Ronni filled a hole in me that I didn’t even realize was there until now. I had dove head first into my work so that I could stay busy enough and tired enough that I would only experience that dire loneliness for a few moments a day. I hadn’t realized, though, it wasn’t a fleeting feeling before Ronni. It was something I had been carrying around inside of me for years.

I looked down at her as she slept hard, her eyes finally calm from the crying. Never in a million years did I think that the cure to my sadness had been sitting in front of me this entire time. She made me feel alive in ways I never had before, and just as I had jumped from my car and bullied a bunch of frat brothers which was not like me, I also felt at ease and calm in moments that I would normally have hit the height of anxiety. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe my mother wouldn’t have been so sad about this. Ronni and I were cut from the same cloth, and I couldn’t think of another person I’d rather have by my side.