LUCAS

 

Goro dug his paws into the dirt. He rumbled through the forest, pushing past all of the brush that stood in his way and deftly avoiding the branches hanging from the trees. When the wolves would try to swipe at him, he knocked them away like they were gnats.

I rode on top of him and squeezed tight. My eyes were shut even tighter.

So many thoughts were racing through my mind. I couldn’t think straight. The only thing I could focus on was just getting through this. If Goro stopped for even a moment, they would be able to surround him and converge.

Goro moved with an unmatched urgency. The wolves snarled at him as they failed to try and knock me off of him. But they eventually gave up and retreated.

That didn’t stop Goro from moving. He brought me back down the path we had taken to get near the Blood Woods. He didn’t slow down at all. All of the injuries. All of the fatigue. He carried me for what felt like hours.

It was well past nightfall when we arrived back at Kai’s campsite. The long journey was over. As soon as Goro made it to a group of bears who were lounging around, I hopped off of his back. Goro shifted and collapsed to the ground.

“Goro!” Kai shouted, his eyes wide. “Brother! Everybody, quickly!”

The other men and women in the camp surrounded him. They worked together to pick him up from the ground. I followed them toward the large fire that was burning at the center of the camp.

Goro was exhausted. His body was covered in sweat and dirt. Cuts over his skin were bleeding profusely. His eyes were closed as he tried to maintain his focus. Despite his injuries, he breathed calmly like nothing was wrong.

“Will he be all right?” I asked Kai.

“Goro is strong,” he responded. “Maybe the strongest bear I’ve ever known. He has been through worse.”

I watched as they grabbed sticks and put them to the fire. They held the fire to his wounds to seal them up. His skin sizzled and the blood stopped. The sight of it made me grimace. But Goro remained calm, his breathing steady as it always was.

They sealed all of the slashes on his body from the wolves and let him be. I took a knee down next to him.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” I asked.

He opened his eyes and smiled at me, his teeth visible through the thickness of his beard.

“Omega,” he said. “It will take more than a pack of violent wolves to take down a bear.”

“They almost did. If it weren’t for me—”

“Calm yourself. Let them tend to your wounds.”

I looked down at my body and saw the scratches on my chest. The blood was still fresh.

I made my way back up to my feet and Kai walked up to me. A burning stick in his hand, I knew what he was about to do. I gave him a nod and shut my eyes.

The flames were hotter than I could imagine. The smell of burning flesh filled my nostrils. I howled to the sky until the pain stopped. Bleeding wounds were replaced with light burn marks.

Somehow, my heart beat slower in my chest. I managed to calm myself down.

“I take it you found what you were looking for,” Kai said to me with a smirk.

“Even worse,” I said. “They took Donovan.”

“I can see that. I would have assumed the jaguar would have returned with you.”

“This isn’t a joke! I have to go back! I have to go save him!”

“Calm yourself,” Goro repeated to me as he laid on the ground. “There is no need to use such haste.”

“He’s right,” Kai said. “You’ve been through a lot. Rushing back into the fight will only get you hurt or worse. You will be of no use to the jaguar if you are dead.”

“I…”

I was about to speak but knew I couldn’t argue with them. I sighed a deep breath of frustration and shook my head.

I walked over to the lake, hoping that it would clear my thoughts.

“Would you like to swim?” Kai said.

I turned and saw the leader of the bear sleuth standing next to me.

“I’m not much of a swimmer,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter. The lake is inviting to all those who wish to take part. It will give to you what you give to it.”

“…Right now, all I want is to figure out a way to save Donovan.”

“Maybe you’ll find that in the water.”

“What?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Your thoughts are clouded with your emotions. You’re a Primal. All of your feelings are getting the best of you. Let them all go for just a moment and try to see reason.”

Kai put a hand on my shoulder to try and comfort me. It did somehow. As my head started to clear, the memories of what just happened came back to me.

“It was a mistake,” I sighed, shaking my head. “Searching for the Primals was a mistake.”

“Why was it a mistake?” Kai asked.

“Because… Don’t you see what happened? Goro nearly killed himself. There’s no telling what they’re doing with Donovan. And it was all for me. All because I selfishly left my pack. It was all my fault…”

Kai squeezed his hand around my shoulder.

“Focus,” he said.

“What?”

“Focus. Close your eyes and think about where you are now.”

“I don’t see how—”

“Just do it.”

“I… Fine.”

I sighed again and followed Kai’s instructions. My eyes closed, I waited.

“Now what?” I asked.

“What do you see?”

“I see nothing. Darkness. The same thing I always see when I close my eyes.”

“Look harder. What do you see?”

I tried to focus as best as I could. I emptied my thoughts of everything. So much had happened. There was so much but it all started to drift away.

Then he appeared in my mind.

“Donovan,” I said. “I see Donovan.”

“He is at the forefront of your mind.”

“Yeah…”

I slowly opened my eyes and looked back at Kai.

“I have to go back,” I said.

“Do you? And what is the alternative?”

“The alternative? The alternative is I let him die. I go back to Dirge and wait for the inevitable. I…”

I remembered Megan. The young girl who meant more to me than anything. If Donovan was true to his word, she would be taken care of. It didn’t matter what happened to me. It didn’t matter what happened to Donovan. She was the one who mattered the most.

“I know what I have to do. Thank you.”

Kai gave me a warm smile before I left him.

I walked back over to Goro, who seemed to be in good spirits despite his injuries. He laid on the grass with his arms sprawled out on his sides. Despite the long journey, he seemed to have regained his strength already.

“We’re going back,” I said as I took a knee down next to him. “We’re going back to save him.”

“No, we’re not.”

“What? How can you say—”

“Donovan told me to protect you. He told me to bring you back. You heard him. That’s what he said. I’m not about to risk putting you in danger again.”

“But we have to. If we don’t, Mordecai will kill him.”

“How do you know he hasn’t already?”

“Because Mordecai doesn’t care about Donovan. Killing him won’t get him what he wants. That won’t make me return to the pack. That will only make his job harder.”

“So now that he has Donovan, he plans on using him as bait.”

“Exactly! Now do you understand?”

Goro closed his eyes and contemplated what I’d said. I figured that was enough to get through to him.

“I understand,” he said. “But you’re still not going back there.”

“W-what? Why not?”

He slowly pushed himself from the ground and sat up. He looked right into my eyes as he spoke.

“You don’t know what I know,” he said.

“What are you talking about?”

“I spoke to Donovan already. He gave me every detail. Not just our arrangement, but the arrangement you made with him as well.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying—”

“The little girl. You’re doing this for a little girl. Donovan said if anything happens to him, she’d receive the bulk of his fortune. And he told me that if it came down to it, let him go. He said he was expendable.”

“W-what? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that he was already prepared for the worst. He planned on dying. He planned on giving most of his fortune to the young girl. And do you know who would get the rest of it?”

“No…”

Goro pointed his index finger at me.

“You,” he said.

“Why would he do something like that?”

“He would never admit it. Donovan is as proud as they come. But he cares about you. He’s not just some wealthy jaguar who’s trying to do a good deed because it’ll make him look good. He wanted to make something of his life. Providing for you and the young girl is a bigger accomplishment than any fortune he could have amassed.”

I blinked my eyes in disbelief. It was the first time I was hearing it. I would have thought Goro was lying but the look in his eyes told me he was telling the truth. He’d never lied to me before.

“He sacrificed himself… for me?” I whispered.

“Don’t let his sacrifice be in vain. Go back to Dirge. When word gets back that Donovan is gone, you’ll be able to live a comfortable life.”

“My life won’t last very long if I do. The Primals will come to Dirge and end me.”

“Then enjoy the last few moments you have with the girl. I’ve been to Azure. Even if you were to die in only a few days, you will have lived a life better than so many.”

Goro seemed content with the decision he’d already made. He sat there with a calmness on his face like nothing was wrong. I stood up straight and looked away from him, trying to process everything that happened.

It made sense. I could go searching for Donovan and die with him. Or I could return to Dirge and enjoy my last days in comfort with Megan before the Primals came looking for me.

I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing what I had to do.

“Okay,” I said. “You’re right.”

“Good. Give me a moment and I’ll bring you back to Dirge—”

“I’m going to save Donovan.”

“What?” he exclaimed.

My mind had never been clearer. It was the only decision I could make.

“I can’t leave Donovan to die,” I said. “Not when I know he was doing everything he could to try and save me.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re not making any sense.”

“I know it doesn’t. It’s not supposed to. I’m a Primal. We think with our hearts, not our heads. We follow our feelings and instincts, not what logic dictates. That is the heart that beats inside of me.”

Goro clenched his jaw and let out a frustrated sigh through his nose.

“I’m going after Donovan,” I said. “You can come with me or not. That’s your choice. But you won’t stop me from making my decision.”

“…Okay,” he said, begrudgingly. “We’ll head back. At least take a moment to rest first. You need all the help you can get.”

“Right.”

I took a seat down next to Goro. Even though I’d made such a bad decision, my heart had never felt calmer. My breathing had slowed. All of the fatigue had left my body.

“Are you sure you’re an Omega?” Goro said with a smirk.

“I am more than an Omega. When we encounter Mordecai and his pack, he will see the heart that beats within me.”