I AM NOT afraid.
Even though my entire body is trembling, it isn’t from fear. It’s from excitement. Every part of my being flares to life the closer we get to the observation deck on the roof. Jes understands my addiction and he feeds it regularly. For this, I owe him everything.
“Ladies first,” he chuckles as he opens the door and ushers me inside.
The moment I step onto the roof, I feel it.
Love.
Acceptance.
Pure joy.
“Thank you,” I say.
The observation deck smells like warm chocolate chip cookies mixed with sunshine. I’m overwhelmed with joyous sensations simply from the smell of the rooftop. What is beyond the glass dome that covers the roof, though, is what heals my soul.
I absently grab a warm cookie from a table and walk over to my usual spot. The clouds roll around in a peaceful pattern, and I sigh.
Jes joins me and pats my back. “Beautiful isn’t it, Love?”
My mouth is useless, so I nod and bite into my delicious cookie. As I chew, I think about how each time I come up here, I hope they’ll see me. And every single time, they do.
“There. Do you see them?” Jes questions in a proud whisper, pointing beyond the glass.
The clouds part and three figures walk toward me. I wolf down the rest of the treat and wait for them to reach me. I know that the tallest of the three figures is my mother. When her eyes meet mine, she winks. Before cancer robbed her from me, she would encourage me with one simple wink. And despite the years that have passed, it still has a positive effect on me. Even though she was beautiful back then, words cannot express how breathtaking she is now. Her chocolate-colored hair is long and full, unlike when she died and the chemo had stolen it all away. And her golden halo glows proudly as it hovers above her head.
“I love you, Lillian.”
I can’t hear them through the glass, but I can figure out what they’re saying. Jes helps me when I get stumped.
“I love you too, Momma.”
When I first came here eight years ago, not long after meeting Jes, I wanted to cry. But I couldn’t. Jes later told me that there is no room for sadness or regret here. Only joy.
And now, as I stare at them, I don’t cry.
Happiness radiates from me.
“Hi, Daniel,” I greet as I drag my gaze to the little boy.
He’s so content and carefree now. Back when Father Paul tormented us, he hardly ever smiled or showed signs of anything other than heartache. At the orphanage, he had no family or anyone to love him.
But I loved him.
I still love him.
“I love you, sister.”
I drink in his features and my soul calms. “I love you too, Daniel.”
“Want another cookie? I have the munchies,” Jes states beside me.
I laugh and shake my head. “Nope. I have all I need right here.”
He pats my back again. “Not all you need. But in time, Love. In time.”
I lock his words away in my heart. Jes has never hurt me, lied to me, or led me astray. He’s been nothing but an advocate for my happiness since day one. I believe he has a plan for me.
“Thank you, Jes.”
My eyes leave Daniel’s smiling face and go to the little boy holding his hand. He’s eight now. I love watching him grow.
He’s not an abomination.
He’s perfect.
“Hi, son,” I say.
Kurt beams back at me. Jes likes to tease me and say that I named him after our favorite rock singer. This usually earns him a swat. My Kurt is perfect.
“Daniel, his halo is crooked.”
Daniel adjusts my son’s halo while I admire my family. When Jes takes me here, I feel whole again. Despair and loss are things of the past. Only love exists in my heart.
The only thing we’re missing is Omega.
“In time,” Jes pronounces.
I nod my understanding. You don’t question the owner of HEA’s son. Jes knows all and makes everything right again. For this, I’ll forever be grateful to him.
“Oh, look. A new addition,” he exclaims.
We both turn toward the door. A Seraph Guardian is carrying an old woman. She gapes at the beautiful observation deck in wonder.
“Where am I?” she questions.
The SG sets her down to her feet and hugs her. “You’re home, Verna. It was my honor to protect you until it was your time. Go see your family now.”
She looks around, drinking in her surroundings.
Jes nudges me. “Lead the way, Leviathan.”
I grin and bounce over to her. Once I’m near her, the woman smiles at me as I take her arm and hand her a cookie.
“My word, I do believe I’ve died and gone to heaven,” Verna laughs.
I giggle as I guide her to the other door in the dome—the door that will lead her home. Even though my family is inside, I’ve never attempted to go beyond the door. I understand in my heart that they belong there and, for now, I belong here. Jes knows what’s best for me, and I trust him. When in this room, I’m free to be who I truly am—not who I have to pretend to be.
“Tell my family I love them,” I tell her. Then I kiss her wrinkled cheek as I open the door.
She wobbles in with no hesitation and is met by a group of people. My heart threatens to explode with joy. After closing the glass door behind her, I stare. When she turns around, she’s no longer wrinkly and old. Verna has become a version of her younger self—vibrant and stunning and good.
I wave at her before turning to go back to my family, who waits patiently with smiles on their faces.
“I love it here,” I sigh as I raise my hand to the glass.
Kurt touches my hand, and even though the glass separates us, I can feel the warmth of his unconditional love.
“Do you know how to bake?” Jes questions and pokes my ribs, stealing my attention away.
I laugh at his joke. “Why? So I can make you desserts all day for when the munchies strike?”
He flashes me a knowing smile that I don’t think I’m meant to interpret. But the fact that it holds promise and love as well has me grinning back at him.
“Come on, Love. We have work to do. Tell them bye for now.”
My heart aches to have to leave them, but I grasp onto his last two words. As long as there’s a promise for another time, I’m happy.
I wave to the three people I love more than life itself and then follow Jes out of the dome. The moment we exit, each step becomes a heavy struggle. The high from seeing my family and the overwhelming joy of witnessing people being delivered is draining. Once I leave, I’m always completely spent. Sometimes, if seeing them makes me overly emotional, I can barely walk afterwards.
Today is one of those days.
“Jes,” I sigh in frustration.
He knows; he always does. “Come here, Love.”
I’m scooped into his arms, and he carries me. As he strides toward the elevators, I hug my friend.
When Jes came to tell me that I was different—that mistakes were made on my behalf—I felt hopeless and lost. But he became my friend and has never let me down.
“What sort of work do we need to do?” I question as we enter the elevator.
He presses the basement floor button and peers down at me while the doors close. His face is always so serene and kind. Tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and mouth are apparent from his continuous smiling. Jes makes me happy.
“Nerdy computer work. You hook us up with the music and snacks. I’ll do the boring stuff.”
I laugh. He calls it boring because it’s boring to me, but I know he loves it. On our way back, I harness the high from seeing my family and draw strength from it. By the time we reach the basement, my energy has fully returned. Once he sets me to my feet, we enter his quaint living space.
“I need to check on something,” he states with a smile as he strides over to his laptop and sits down on the bed.
I kick my flip-flops off and pad over to the mini fridge, which is always stocked with homemade wine in water bottles. After grabbing us a couple of those and a bag of chips, I drop a bottle into his lap and make my way over to his old stereo. It doesn’t even have Bluetooth hookup, so I have to play CDs the old way.
“What shall we listen to?” I mutter absently, still on my high from before, as I thumb through his stacks of CDs.
“The Beatles. Play my favorite song,” he calls out as he taps away on his computer.
I slip the CD in and play the music. Once the familiar tune begins playing, I turn to look at Jes.
“I’m worried about Omega,” I rush out. The earlier strength from upstairs is already beginning to wane.
He flashes me a grin that warms and comforts me though. “I’m not. That man is quite a man of his word. I asked him to complete a task for me and he has.”
A million butterflies flutter in my chest, his tone giving me hope.
“Omega is the best man I know. Besides you, of course,” I tease.
Jes winks at me. “You love him and he loves you. Love is a powerful thing. In fact, love is all you need.”
This is why I adore Jes. When I hang out with him, all of my worries dissipate and he fills my head with these fantastical ideas of a world that only needs love to survive. The picture he paints is alluring, and I want it to be the truth.
But I also know that Leviathans don’t get happy endings. The closest to a happy ending I will ever get is the fact that Omega and I have reunited—and that I can see my family on the rooftop from time to time.
So close to being perfect. If only I could get Luc off my back for good. That’s the hope I fiercely clutch on to—that Jes will find a way to make that happen.
“Uh oh,” he expresses in a low voice.
The tone sends a chill down my spine. “What?”
“Luc is not a very happy camper right now. In fact, he’s rid himself of his human body and is about to attack Omega.” He whistles as if he’s watching a dramatic show unfold on television.
My heart aches inside of my chest. “I have to help him,” I choke out.
Jes sets the laptop down and envelops me in a hug that dizzies me. “You can’t help him, Love. This is his mission, and so far, he’s passing with flying colors. Trust me. It will all work out.”
“But Luc will annihilate him.” My knees wobble beneath me.
He holds me to him to keep me from falling. “Luc’s nothing but a weak angel, Love. That is what HEL is. Just a half-rate version of the most powerful company in existence. They have a heck of a lot of smoke and mirrors, but they lack what we’re founded on: integrity, moral obligation, and love. When one always looks out for himself, he will always be weak. For it is the one who would throw himself in front of the weak to protect them is who is the strongest. A selfless heart is unbeatable”—he chuckles—“and Omega, aside from you, has one of the most selfless hearts I have ever encountered. Have faith, sister. Have faith.”
I have faith in you, Omega.