Kyle woke up to the light streaming from his window pane. It was bright, forcing his eyes to shut tight, the heat of the light hitting his face. He couldn't believe it was morning already. He spared a glance at the black alarm clock sitting on his bedside table and groaned.

It was nearing ten o'clock. How did he let himself sleep in that late?

Then it was like his brain suddenly got connected online, his nose wrinkling as his senses got assaulted by the scents from the last couple of days.

Holy shit.

He slept with Carson. Multiple times. He broke his heat with Carson.

Carson, his very unavailable, very straight, very uninterested best friend.

Or at least, Carson was supposed to be all of those things before Kyle’s heat happened. A quiet slice of hope bloomed through Kyle's chest. Maybe things did change. What if the last couple of days wasn't just a fuck for Carson?

What if it meant something to him, too?

Kyle opened his eyes, rolling over to the other side of the bed. His stomach sank. Carson's side of the bed sat empty, the sheets and pillows cold to the touch. Carson had been gone a while.

He didn't stay, then. Of course, he didn't stay.

Sucking in a breath, Kyle grabbed one of the pillows and cuddled it. The pillow still smelled like Carson--deep and earthy, with a hint of spice--and it made the stinging in his eyes worsen. For a brief, fleeting moment, he'd allowed himself to hope. Now look at where it had gotten him: nowhere. Absolutely nowhere.

He tried not to remember the events from his heat, but it was difficult. He wanted to replay the memories of Carson touching him. Kyle wanted to hear Carson's voice again, broken and desperate for him.

Carson said he was perfect.

Fuck, Carson said a lot of things. None of them mattered now, Kyle supposed. Not when Carson didn't stay.

He moved, slightly adjusting his position on the bed, and it almost made him wince. God, he could still feel Carson. He was sore in the best way possible. Kyle had wanted to feel Carson afterwards for days, and he got his wish.

Even in his heat-induced haze, there was no way Kyle was going to ever forget the way Carson had taken him. He couldn't forget about the way Carson bottomed out in him, their bodies pressed tightly, hands clawing at each other as they joined steadily as one. Carson wasn't his, not really, but at least Kyle would have the memories between them seared in his heart.

"Oh, fuck," Kyle said, his eyes widening as more of the last couple of days returned to him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

They didn’t use condoms. Carson knotted him. Several times, over and over, and they didn’t use a fucking condom once. During his goddamned heat.

This wasn't like Kyle at all. He was careful and conscientious, even during his heats. Fuck, he hadn’t ever taken an Alpha during his heats before. He'd never felt comfortable spending his heat with anyone else, so he'd stuck to toys and his fingers in the past.

He didn't have the framework to work through this.

His breath felt weak, like he couldn’t swallow enough air. Kyle sat up on the bed, his back leaning against the headboard. He placed his head in his hands, trying to breathe through the panic rising in his chest.

"Kyle? You okay?"

Kyle tilted his head up, his eyes immediately going to the door.

It was Carson.

Why was he here? Didn't he leave already? What was he still doing in Kyle's house?

Opening his mouth to speak, Kyle closed it again right after, unable to find the words to reply. Instead, he wrenched his gaze away from Carson, training his eyes to the wall across from him. His heart felt like it was hammering away inside him, and he braced himself for the incoming rejection from Carson.

"Kyle? Baby, you're scaring me," Carson said softly.

He didn’t dream that then. Carson did call him baby during his heat. Fuck, how long had been waiting to hear that word from Carson’s lips? He should be ecstatic, right? Except now, all he felt was sadness.

Whatever happened didn’t change anything. It was heat sex. He knew better than to attribute anything more to something that they couldn’t biologically help.

Carson was just confused. That had to be the reason why he called Kyle baby again now, when his heat was effectively over.

Kyle could hear footsteps coming closer to him, and a beat later, he felt the bed dip. Carson's hand rested on his knee, the other cupping his chin lightly. "You okay? What's wrong?"

Maybe it was a dick move, but Kyle refused to look at Carson. He couldn't control himself right now. He knew the moment his gaze fell on his best friend, it would be all over. His feelings would be all over his face, and Carson would run for the hills.

There was a reason Kyle had never said anything about his feelings to Carson.

"I'm fine," Kyle said quietly, still staring at the wall. Before he could help himself, the words tumbled out of his mouth. "Thought you left. I didn't think you'd stay."

Kyle cringe inwardly. He sounded so fucking needy and insecure, but he couldn't help it. As stupid as it was, there was still a part of him that hoped Carson finally saw him as something other than a friend.

"That's kind of mean, don't you think?" Carson said. He tilted Kyle's chin up, forcing their eyes to meet. Kyle shut his eyes closed in return. "Hey, look at me. I--what did I do? You haven't looked at me once this morning since I came through those doors."

"Sorry," Kyle said quickly. "It's fine, we're fine."

Carson ran his thumb over Kyle's cheek before tracing Kyle's lips with his finger. "You're not looking at me, though. Clearly something is wrong."

"I'm sorry," Kyle said again. He looked at Carson, not sure if he could handle being in the receiving end of Carson's intense gaze. There was no avoiding the man, Kyle supposed. He might as well rip the bandage of now. "I'm sorry about everything. You didn't have to and...thanks, I guess."

Carson raised an eyebrow, settling more on Kyle's bed, like he belonged there. "Thanks, you guess? For what?"

"For spending my heat with me. You really didn't have to, you know."

Kyle's still not sure why Carson came home with him that night at the bar. He didn't understand what the fuck happened with Holden, but he knew Carson. Carson was an incredibly good guy, and sometimes that meant Carson did things he didn't necessarily want just to make other people happy.

It was in Carson’s nature, for example, to take care of Kyle through his heat, regardless of how he felt about Kyle. Kyle wouldn’t be surprised if Carson had done it out of pity…out of worry.

He swallowed, looking away again. Pity was the last thing he needed from Carson.

"Kyle," Carson started, his voice low and gravelly. "I don't know what scenario you're running through your pretty little head right now, but I can assure you, I wanted everything we did. I wanted you."

Everything in Kyle wanted to believe him, but history wasn't exactly on Carson's side. How could he believe Carson, when Carson had never once looked at him as someone other than a friend? Sure, he could accept that Carson had wanted what they did, but what did that mean for the future?

Was it just the heat?

Did Carson want more with him?

Kyle needed some time to think. It was hard to get some perspective when Carson was sitting right by him, his upper body exposed and bathed in light, smelling like Kyle. It was too much, and Kyle knew he needed to get away.

He stood up abruptly, feeling self-conscious for a moment when he'd realized he was naked, the white fabric of the sheet falling off his body as he stretched his muscles. He felt Carson's hard gaze on him, making his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

This just kept getting better and better.

"I need to shower," Kyle said, padding towards the master bathroom.

He felt Carson following him and he stopped at the doorway, unsure. "You don't--you don't have to stay, you know? My heat's over."

Carson's arms circled around his hips from behind, and Kyle almost gasped audibly when he felt Carson's erection against his bare ass. "I'm not going anywhere. We need to talk about this, Kyle." Carson's hand rubbed at Kyle's belly soothingly, and Kyle wanted so badly to lean into the touch. They were so close, Carson's breath hot in his ears.

"I want to join you so badly." Carson said the words like a confession, making Kyle shiver all over. "But I know you need your space right now. So I'm going downstairs to make you breakfast while you shower."

Kyle was torn between want and relief. Images of Carson naked, water sluicing all over his hard body sparked in his mind. He quelled the thoughts just as quickly as they came, though. Carson wasn't his, and showering together may benefit his dick, but it wasn't going to benefit his heart.

He felt Carson let go, and Kyle huffed out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He didn't know what to say, but Carson seemed to understand his predicament.

"Go on, shower," Carson said. "I'll be downstairs when you're done. Don't run away from me, okay?"

Stepping into the ensuite, Kyle threw Carson a long look before nodding. The smile he received from Carson made his knees weak, and he jumped in the shower before he had a chance to say anything stupid, closing the door just before he turned on the water knob.

Minutes later, Kyle was in no better state. He was clean, yes, but he was a fucking mess all over. He spent the entirety of the shower running through all of the scenarios that could play out with Carson in the kitchen.

He wasn't optimistic or foolish enough to think that Carson would want to build a relationship with him. He'd stopped fantasizing about Carson like that years ago, and he wasn't going to start now. Kyle wasn't going to put himself in a position to get hurt, no matter how much his heart wanted to hope.

The only thing Kyle wanted now was to make sure his friendship with Carson didn't end. He loved the man--loved him with every fiber of his being. Kyle was happy to have Carson's friendship, if it meant Carson stayed in his life.

Sighing, he trudged down the stairs leading to his kitchen. He smelled bacon in the air, and his stomach rumbled as he got closer to the scent. Settling himself on one of his bar chairs, he watched Carson surreptitiously as he made them breakfast. It wasn’t the first time Carson had commandeered his kitchen. Carson had spent the night at Kyle’s house hundreds of times in the past for one reason or the other, and he’d always taken it upon himself to cook them breakfast. The air around them now was different, though, and Kyle didn’t know what to say or do.

Neither of them spoke for a while, letting the sounds and sizzle of the pan fill the space around them. It was awkward and nerve-racking, and Kyle felt like he was going to come out of his skin. He didn't like this, didn't like having this weird chasm between Carson and him, but what could he do?

It was Carson who broke the silence, when he placed a plate in front of Kyle. "Eat," he said, low and gruff. "You didn't eat much during your heat. You need to build your strength."

Neither did you, Kyle wanted to say, but he poked his fork around the plate instead. He was hungry, but he was having trouble finding his appetite.

Carson took the seat beside him, their thighs touching, Kyle was entirely too aware of the contact, entirely too aware of the heat between them, and he knew there was no way he could focus on food.

"Come on, I cooked this especially for you. You need to eat, Kyle," Carson said in between bites. "Don't want you wasting away in front of me."

Kyle would be lying if he said Carson's concern didn't make him feel good. He was only human. He liked being taken care of, and more importantly, he liked it when Carson took care of him.

It made him feel...special. Wanted.

It's just instinct, his brain helpfully supplied, and immediately, his stomach dropped.

He'd just gone through heat with Carson. Of course, Carson felt biologically obligated to feed and take care of the omega he'd just fucked.

Carson dropped his fork gently on the table. "If you're not going to eat, are we at least going to talk about this? You've barely spoken to me today at all, Kyle. Are you going to speak to me at some point?"

"I'm not ignoring you," Kyle said in a rush. "I just--I don't want to lose you, Carson, and I'm afraid what we just did--you spending my heat with me--it's ruined everything between us."

Placing a hand on Kyle's thigh, Carson looked at him squarely. Carson's hand felt hot, searing, and Kyle almost wanted to step away from his touch.

"Nothing's ruined between us, I can promise you that," Carson said, steely resolve in his voice. "You're not going to lose me, baby. I can also promise you that."

Kyle couldn't help but wince at Carson's term of endearment. "How could you say that? Things have changed, Cars, and I'm not sure they've changed for the better." Kyle looked at Carson's hand on his thigh, trying to focus on anything but the overwhelming scent of Carson wrapping around him.

"We're still us. It's still you and me. Things have changed, but this is good, baby. This is so very good." Carson sounded resolved--almost happy--and Kyle didn't understand.

"I'll understand, you know--if this was a one-time thing. I know the score with you, Cars," Kyle murmured quietly. He felt open and vulnerable, and if this wasn't Carson, the guy he trusted with his whole life, Kyle would have run away.

Carson's brow knitted in confusion. "One-time thing? What do you mean? Did you want this to be a one-time thing?"

Kyle didn't know how to respond. How do you tell the man you've been in love with most of your life that you never want to let him go? That now that Kyle had felt Carson inside him, Kyle wanted to claim Carson for his own and have Carson claim him back. He loved Carson--had loved him even before he knew what love was.

Instead, Kyle said, "It's up to you. You mean a lot to me, Carson." It was a weak reply, he knew, but he couldn't handle putting his heart out there. He was afraid. Carson could easily break him in a few words, and Kyle was trying his best to put some of his already crumbled defenses around him.

"I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I know what I'm doing here, Kyle. But I know I can't let you go. I know I can't go back to how things were. Not now," Carson said. He was so confident, and Kyle wanted to believe him. "Give me a chance, baby. Give us a chance."

"What does that mean? Do you want me to be your fuck buddy? Friends with benefits?" Kyle replied, crossing his arms around himself protectively.

Carson kissed his lips lightly, a move that surprised Kyle to the core. Before he could say something else, Carson opened his mouth to speak.

"We mean more to each other than that, Kyle," Carson said, stroking Kyle's cheek with his thumb. "I don't think I can handle anything but everything with you."

"But you're straight. And you've never given me a second glance before. Why now? You've had your cock in me, and suddenly you want me? As what? Your mate?" Kyle spat out. A part of him knew he wasn't being fair to Carson, but he needed to know.

Carson looked visibly pained, and for a moment, Kyle almost took his words back. He was determined, though, especially since he knew this was a conversation they needed to have at some point. Might as well get it out of the way now.

"I never claimed to be very smart, Kyle. I took you for granted. You were such a big part of my life--maybe the biggest part of my life, that I ignored my instincts. I ignored what my gut was telling me for years: that you're mine. It took seeing you with some asshole alpha for me to really get it, but please, believe me when I say I want you." Carson pressed their foreheads together, before kissing Kyle's nose, then his cheek, then finally, Kyle's lips. "Give me a chance, baby."

Kyle shut his eyes involuntarily at the tenderness. His heart swelled, his body shook. He still couldn't believe this was real. He'd wanted it for so long, he'd waited for so long to hear those words from Carson. "What now? What do we do now?"

"Let's take it slow. I know we did things backwards, but let me show you how much I want you. Let me take you on a date,” Carson replied.

Carson sounded so earnest, and there was no way Kyle could say no to him. "A date? That sounds awfully romantic," he said awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say.

Smiling, Carson kissed the back of Kyle's hand. "I can be romantic," he said. "Say yes, baby."

Swallowing, Kyle said the word screaming in his heart. "Yes."

He was going on a date with his best friend.

What did he just agree to?