3
“Where will you go from here?” I asked Gideon as he escorted me into the lobby of my apartment building. The Upper West Side was my home—for now. Gideon’s penthouse was on the Upper East. The vast green expanse of Central Park divided us, one of the few things between us that was easily crossed.
I waved at Chad, one of the night staff at the front desk. He smiled back at me and gave a polite nod to Gideon.
“I’m going up with you,” Gideon replied, his hand pressed lightly against the small of my back.
I was hyperaware of that touch. It conveyed possession and control effortlessly, and made me so hot. Which only made it harder for me to deny us both when we reached the elevator. “We need to say good-bye right here, ace.”
“Eva—”
“I don’t have the willpower,” I confessed, feeling the pull of his need. He’d always been able to lure me in just by the force of his will. It was one of the things I loved about him, one of the ways I knew we were meant to be. The connection we had, it was soul-deep. “You and me with a bed nearby is a bad idea.”
He stared down at me with a wry curve to his lips that was sexy as hell. “That’s what I’m counting on.”
“Count down instead—to our wedding. That’s what I’m doing. Minute by minute.” And it was excruciating. My physical connection to Gideon was as vital to me as our emotional one. I loved him. Loved touching him, soothing him, giving him what he needed … My right to do so meant everything to me.
I gripped his forearm, gently squeezing the rock-hard muscle beneath his sleeves. “I’m missing you, too.”
“You don’t have to miss me.”
Pulling him aside, I lowered my voice. “You say when, you say how,” I murmured, repeating the basic tenet of our sex life. “And part of me really wants you to say when right now. But there’s something I want more than that. I’ll call you later tonight, after I talk to Cary a bit, and tell you what that is.”
The smile faded. His gaze turned avid. “You can just come next door and tell me now.”
I shook my head. When Nathan had been a threat, Gideon had taken up residence in the apartment directly beside mine, watching over me and ensuring I was safe, even though I didn’t know it. He could do that sort of thing because he owned the building, one of many that belonged to him in the city.
“You need to go to the penthouse, Gideon. Just relax and enjoy that beautiful place we’ll be sharing soon.”
“It’s not the same without you there. It feels empty.”
That hit me hard. Before I’d come along, Gideon had structured his life so he could be alone in every way—work interspersed with occasional hookups and avoidance of his family. I’d changed that, and I didn’t want him to regret it.
“Now’s your chance to get rid of all the things you don’t want me to find when I move in,” I teased, still trying to keep things light.
“You know all my secrets.”
“Tomorrow, we’ll be together in Westport.”
“Tomorrow’s too far away.”
Pushing up onto my tiptoes, I kissed his jaw. “You’ll sleep through some of it and work through the rest.” Then I whispered, “We could sext. You can see how creative I can be.”
“I prefer the original over reproductions.”
I dropped my voice to a purr. “Video, then. With sound.”
He turned his head and caught my lips, taking my mouth in a long, deep kiss. “This is love,” he murmured. “Agreeing to this.”
“I know.” I smiled and pulled back to hit the button for the elevator. “You could send me naughty pics, too, you know.”
His eyes narrowed. “You want pictures of me, angel, you’ll have to take them yourself.”
Backing into the elevator, I wagged a finger at him. “Spoilsport.”
The doors started to close. I had to grip the handrail to stop myself from dashing back out to him. Happiness came in so many forms. Mine was Gideon.
“Miss me,” he ordered.
I blew him a kiss. “Always.”
When I opened the door to my apartment, I was hit with two things at once: the smell of recent cooking and the sounds of Sam Smith.
It felt like home. But I was abruptly struck with sadness that it wouldn’t be home for much longer. Not that I doubted the future I’d accepted when I married Gideon, because I didn’t. I was so excited about the thought of living with him, being his wife in private and public, sharing my days—and nights—with him. Still, change was harder when you were happy with the pre-change version of your life.
“Honey, I’m home!” I called out, dropping my bag on one of the teakwood bar stools at the breakfast bar. My mom had decorated the entire apartment in a modern traditional style. I probably wouldn’t have gone with some of her choices, but I liked the result.
“I’m right here, sweet cheeks,” Cary drawled, drawing my attention across the open floor plan to where he lay sprawled on our living room sofa in board shorts and no T-shirt. He was lean and tanned, his abs as beautifully defined as Gideon’s. Even off duty, he looked like the super hot male model he was. “How was dinner?”
“Good.” I headed over to him, kicking off my heels on the way. I figured I should enjoy doing that while I could. I couldn’t picture myself leaving shoes strewn around Gideon’s penthouse. I thought it might drive him a little crazy. And since I was sure there were other things I’d drive him crazy with, it was probably best to pick my vices carefully. “How was yours? Smells like you cooked.”
“Pizza. Semi-homemade. It’s what Tat was craving.”
“Who doesn’t crave pizza?” I said, plopping gracelessly onto the couch. “Is she still here?”
“Nah.” He glanced away from the TV to look at me, his green eyes serious. “She left all pissed off. I told her we wouldn’t be moving in together.”
“Oh.” To be honest, I didn’t like Tatiana Cherlin. Like Cary, she was a successful model, although she hadn’t yet attained his level of recognition.
Cary had met her on a job. Their purely sexual relationship had shifted drastically when she’d found out she was pregnant. Unfortunately, she’d discovered she was expecting around the same time Cary found a great guy he wanted to work on a relationship with.
“Big decision,” I said.
“And I’m not sure it’s the right one.” He ran a hand over his gorgeous face. “If Trey weren’t in the picture, I’d be doing the right thing by Tat.”
“Who says you aren’t? Being a good parent doesn’t mean you have to live together. Look at my mom and dad.”
“Fuck.” He groaned. “I feel like I’m choosing myself over my child, Eva. What does that make me, if not a selfish bastard?”
“It’s not like you’re cutting her off. I know you’ll be there for her and the baby, just not in that way.” Reaching over, I twirled a lock of his chocolate brown hair around my finger. My best friend had suffered through so much in his life. The twisted way he’d been introduced to sex and love had left him with a lot of baggage and bad habits. “So Trey’s going to stick?”
“He hasn’t decided.”
“Did he call you?”
Cary shook his head. “No. I broke down and called him before he forgot about me altogether.”
I gave him a little push. “As if that could ever happen. You, Cary Taylor, are utterly unforgettable.”
“Ha.” He stretched out with a sigh. “He didn’t sound too happy to hear from me. Said he’s still working some stuff out in his head.”
“Which means he’s thinking about you.”
“Yeah, thinking he dodged a bullet,” Cary muttered. “He said it was never going to work for us if I was living with Tat, but when I told him I’d fix that, he said that would just make him feel like an asshole for getting in the way. It’s a no-win, but I laid it all out for Tat anyway, because I have to try.”
“It’s a tough spot to be in.” I couldn’t imagine it myself. “Just try to make the best decisions you can. You have a right to be happy. That’s the best thing for everyone around you, including the baby.”
“If there is a baby.” His eyes closed. “Tat says she’s not doing this alone. If I’m not going to be there, she doesn’t want to go through with it.”
“Isn’t it getting a little late for her to say that?” I couldn’t keep the anger out of my voice. Tatiana was a manipulator. It was impossible not to look ahead and see that being a source of misery for an innocent kid.
“I can’t even think about it, Eva. I lose my shit. It’s all so fucked up.” He huffed out a humorless laugh. “And to think I once said she was easy to deal with. She’s never cared that I’m bisexual, and she didn’t care if I slept around …. Part of me feels good that she cares enough now to want to be exclusive, but I can’t help how I feel about Trey.”
He turned his troubled gaze away. It tore me up to see him so down.
“Maybe I should talk to her,” I offered.
He tilted his head back to look at me. “How is that supposed to help? You two don’t get along.”
“I’m not a fan,” I admitted. “But I can work around that. A woman-to-woman talk—if it’s done right—could help. It really couldn’t make things worse, right?” I hesitated before saying more. I meant well, but my good intentions did sound naïve.
He snorted. “There’s always worse.”
“Way to look on the bright side,” I chastised. “Does Trey know that you talked to Tatiana and she’s not moving in?”
“I texted him. Got nada back. But I really didn’t expect to.”
“Give him a little more time.”
“Eva, at the end of the day, he wishes I were totally gay. In his mind, being bisexual means I have to sleep around. He doesn’t get that just because I’m attracted to men and women doesn’t mean I can’t be faithful to one person. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to get it.”
I blew out my breath. “I don’t think I helped with that. He brought it up to me once and I didn’t explain things well.”
That had been eating at me for a while. I needed to reach out to Trey and set that straight. Cary had been in the hospital recovering from a vicious assault when Trey approached me. My mind hadn’t been at its sharpest at the time.
“You can’t fix everything for me, baby girl.” He rolled over onto his stomach and looked at me. “But I love you so much for trying.”
“You’re part of me.” I struggled to find the right words. “I need you to be okay, Cary.”
“I’m working on it.” He scooped his hair back from his face. “I’m taking this weekend in Westport to deal with the possibility that Trey might be out of the mix. I have to be realistic about that.”
“You be realistic, I’ll be hopeful.”
“Have fun with that.” He sat up and put his elbows on his knees, his head hanging. “Which brings me back to Tatiana. I guess I am clear about that. We can’t be together. Baby or not, it wouldn’t work for her or me.”
“I respect that.”
It was hard not to say more. I would always give my best friend the support and reassurance he needed, but there were some hard lessons to be learned here. Trey, Tatiana, and Cary were all hurting—with a baby on the way to join them—because of Cary’s choices. He pushed those who loved him away with his actions, daring them to stay. It was a test rigged for failure. Facing the consequences might just get him to make a change for the better.
His grin was wry, one beautiful green eye peeking through the fall of his long bangs. “I can’t pick and choose based on what I’m going to get out of it. Sucks, but hey … I gotta grow up sometime.”
“Don’t we all?” I gave him an encouraging smile. “I quit my job today.”
Accepting what I’d done got easier every time I said it aloud.
“No shit?”
Looking up at the ceiling, I replied, “No shit.”
He whistled. “Should I break out the bourbon and some shot glasses?”
I shuddered. “Ugh. You know I can’t stand bourbon. And really, Cristal and flutes would be more appropriate for my resignation.”
“Seriously? You want to celebrate?”
“I don’t need to drown any sorrows, that’s for sure.” I stretched my arms out over my head and let the last of my tension go. “I’ve been thinking about it all day, though.”
“And?”
“I’m good. Maybe if Mark had taken the news differently, I’d have second thoughts, but he’s leaving, too, and he’s been there way longer than the three months I’ve been there. It wouldn’t make sense for me to be more upset about moving on than he is.”
“Baby girl, things don’t have to make sense to be true.” Grabbing the remote, he turned the speaker volume down.
“You’re right, but I found Gideon at the same time I started at Waters Field and Leaman. Practically speaking, there’s no comparison between a job you’ve had three months and a husband you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.”
He shot me a look. “You went from sensible to practical. This just keeps getting worse.”
“Oh, shut up.” Cary never let me get away with the easy explanation. Since I was often good at deluding myself, his no-bullshit policy was a mirror I needed.
My smile faded. “I want more.”
“More what?”
“More of everything.” I looked his way again. “Gideon’s got this presence, you know? When he walks into a room, everyone straightens up and pays attention. I want that.”
“You married that. You get it de facto with the name and the bank balance.”
I sat up. “I want it because I’ve earned it, Cary. Geoffrey Cross left behind a lot of people who want some payback from his son. And Gideon’s made his own enemies, like the Lucases.”
“The who?”
I wrinkled my nose. “The bat-shit Anne Lucas and her equally insane husband.” Then it hit me. “Oh my God, Cary! I didn’t tell you. About the redhead you messed around with at that dinner a few weeks back. That was Anne Lucas.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Remember when I asked you to run a search on Dr. Terrence Lucas? Anne is his wife.”
Cary’s confusion was obvious.
I couldn’t go into how Terry Lucas had examined Gideon as a child and lied about finding signs of sexual trauma. He’d done so in order to shield his brother-in-law, Hugh, from prosecution. I would never understand how he could do that, no matter how much he loved his wife. As for Anne, Gideon had slept with her to get back at her husband, but her physical resemblance to her brother had led to sexual depravity that haunted Gideon. He’d punished Anne for the sins of her brother, leaving both himself and her mentally warped in the process.
That left Gideon and me with two very vicious enemies to contend with.
I explained as much as I could. “The Lucases have this whole twisted history thing with Gideon that I can’t get into, but it’s no coincidence that you two ended up together that night. She planned it that way.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s nuts and she knows it’ll fuck with my head.”
“Why the hell would you care who I tangle with?”
“Cary … I always care.” I heard my mobile phone start ringing. The “Hanging by a Moment” ring tone told me it was my husband calling. I stood. “But in this case, it’s the calculation behind it. You weren’t just some random hot fling. She targeted you specifically because you’re my best friend.”
“I’m not seeing how that accomplishes anything.”
“It’s flipping the bird at Gideon. Getting his attention is what she wants more than anything.”
Cary arched a brow. “The whole thing sounds loopy, but whatever. I ran into her again not too long ago.”
“What? When?”
“Last week, maybe.” He shrugged. “I’d just wrapped up a shoot and my Uber was waiting outside the studio. She was stepping out of a café with a girlfriend at the same time. It was totally out of the blue.”
I shook my head. My phone stopped ringing. “No way. Did she say anything to you?”
“Sure. She kinda flirted a little, which isn’t surprising considering the last time we saw each other. I shut her down, told her I was working on a relationship. She was cool about it. Wished me luck, said thanks again for a fun time. She took off down the street. End of story.”
My phone started ringing again. “If you ever see her, walk the other way and call me. Okay?”
“O-kay, but you’re not telling me enough for this to make any sense.”
“Let me talk with Gideon.” I hurried toward my phone and answered it. “Hey.”
“Were you in the shower?” Gideon purred. “Are you naked and wet, angel?”
“Oh, God. Hang on a minute.” I dropped the phone to my shoulder and walked back to Cary. “Was she wearing a wig when you saw her?”
Cary’s brows shot up. “How the hell would I know?”
“Was it long like when you first met her?”
“Yeah. Same.”
I nodded grimly. Anne wore her hair cropped and I’d never seen a picture of her otherwise. She’d worn a wig when she pursued Cary at the dinner, which had thrown me off and hidden her from Gideon.
Maybe it was a new style for her.
Or maybe it was another indication that she had special plans when it came to Cary.
I put the phone to my ear. “I need you to come back over, Gideon. And bring Angus up with you.”
Something in my tone must have relayed my concern, because Gideon showed up with both Angus and Raúl. I opened the door and found the three men filling the hallway, my husband front and center, with both bodyguards flanking him. To call the sight of them intense would be an understatement.
Gideon had loosened his tie and unbuttoned his collar and vest but was otherwise dressed as he’d been when we parted earlier. The slight dishevelment was sexy as hell, sending an instant tingle of arousal through my blood. It was a temptation, an enticement for me to finish taking off those expensive, elegant layers and reveal the powerful, primal male underneath. As smoking hot as Gideon was with clothes on, there was nothing like the sight of him purely nude.
My gaze locked with Gideon’s and gave me away. One darkly winged brow arched upward, and the corner of his mouth lifted in amusement.
“Hello to you, too,” he teased, in reply to my heated look.
The two men behind him stood in contrast with their bespoke but starkly basic black suits, white shirts, and unembellished black ties all perfectly arranged.
I’d never really noticed before how superfluous Angus and Raúl appeared when standing beside Gideon, a man who could clearly manage a hand-to-hand confrontation without any help.
Raúl stood stone-faced, as per his usual. Angus, too, was stoic, but the mischievous glance he sent my way told me he’d caught me eye-fucking his boss.
I felt my face get hot.
Stepping back and out of the way, I let them in. Angus and Raúl headed into the living room where Cary waited. Gideon hung back with me as I shut the door.
“You’re giving me that look, angel, but you wanted Angus with me. Explain.”
That made me laugh, which was just what I needed to break the tension. “How can I help it when it looks like you were stripping when I called you?”
“I can finish here.”
“You realize I may have to burn all your clothes after the wedding. You should always be naked.”
“Would make for interesting meetings at work.”
“Umm … maybe not, then. For my eyes only and all that.” I leaned into the door and took a deep breath. “Anne’s made contact with Cary since the dinner.”
All the warmth and lightness left Gideon’s eyes, replaced by a chill that warned of bad things ahead.
He started toward the living room. I raced to catch up, linking our hands to remind him that we were in this together. I knew it was a concept that was going to take some getting used to. Gideon had been standing alone for so long, fighting his own battles and those of the people he loved.
Taking a seat on the coffee table, he faced Cary and said, “Tell me what you told Eva.”
Gideon looked ready to tackle Wall Street while Cary looked ready to tackle a nap, but that didn’t seem to impact my husband at all.
Cary ran through it all again, his gaze darting occasionally toward Angus and Raúl, who stood nearby. “That’s it,” he finished. “No offense, guys, but you seem like a lot of muscle for a redhead who’s maybe a hundred twenty pounds soaking wet.”
I would’ve pegged Anne at a hundred thirty, but that was neither here nor there. “Better safe than sorry,” I said.
He shot me a look. “What can she do? Seriously. What’s everyone all anxious about?”
Gideon shifted restlessly. “We had an … affair. That’s not the right word. It wasn’t pretty.”
“You fucked her,” Cary said bluntly. “I figured that much.”
“Fucked her over,” I elaborated, stepping closer so I could rest my hand on Gideon’s shoulder. I supported my husband, even though I couldn’t condone what he’d done. And truthfully, the part of me that was obsessed with Gideon pitied Anne. There had been times when I believed I’d lost Gideon forever, and I had gone a little crazy myself.
Still, she was dangerous in a way I could never be, and that danger was directed at people I loved. “She’s not taking it well that he’s with me.”
“What? Are we talking Fatal Attraction–type stuff ?”
“Well, she’s a psychologist, so Fatal Attraction meets Basic Instinct would be more accurate. It’s a Michael Douglas marathon wrapped up in one woman.”
“Don’t joke, Eva,” Gideon said tightly.
“Who’s joking?” I shot back. “Cary saw her in that long wig she wore to the dinner. I’m thinking she wanted him to recognize her so they could chat.”
Cary snorted. “So she’s crazy town. What do you want me to do? Let you know if I run into her again?”
“I want a protection detail on you,” I said.
Gideon nodded. “Agreed.”
“Wow.” Cary rubbed at the five o’clock shadow on his jaw. “You guys are hard-core about this.”
“You’ve got enough going on,” I reminded him. “If she’s got an agenda, you don’t need to deal with it.”
His lips twisted wryly. “Can’t argue with that.”
“We’ll take care of it,” Angus said. Raúl nodded, and then both men headed downstairs.
Gideon stayed behind.
Cary looked back and forth between us, then stood. “I don’t think you two need me anymore, so I’m hitting it. I’ll catch you in the morning,” he said to me, before sauntering down the hall to his bedroom.
“Are you worried?” I asked Gideon when we were alone.
“You are. That’s enough.”
I took the spot on the sofa directly across from him. “It’s not so much worry. More like curiosity. What does she think she can accomplish through Cary?”
Gideon exhaled wearily. “She’s playing head games, Eva. That’s all.”
“I don’t think so. She was very specific in her comments to me at the dinner, warning me away from you. Like I don’t know you and wouldn’t want you if I did.”
His jaw tightened and I knew I’d struck a chord. He’d never really gotten into what they had talked about when he went to her office. It was possible she’d said something similar to him then.
“I’m going to talk to Anne,” I announced.
Gideon pierced me with his icy blue gaze. “The hell you are.”
I laughed softly. My poor husband. So accustomed to having his word be law and then choosing to marry a woman like me. “I know we’ve covered a lot of ground over the course of our relationship, but somewhere in there we did discuss working as a team.”
“And I’m open to doing that,” he said smoothly, “but Anne is not the place to start. You can’t reason with someone who’s completely irrational.”
“I don’t want to reason with her, ace. She’s targeting my friends, and she thinks I’m a weak spot for you. She needs to know I’m not helpless, and that by taking you on, she’s taking on both of us.”
“She’s my problem. I’ll deal with her.”
“If you’ve got a problem, Gideon, it’s my problem, too. Listen. Operation Gideva is in full effect now. My inaction is only making this situation with Anne worse.” I leaned forward. “In her mind, either I know what’s happening and I’m too weak to do something or you’re hiding everything from me, which suggests that I’m too weak to handle it. Either way, you’re making me a target and that’s not what you want.”
“You don’t know what’s in her mind,” he said tightly.
“Things are a little twisted up there, sure. But she’s a woman. Trust me, she needs to know I have claws and am prepared to use them.”
His gaze narrowed. “What would you say?”
A little flare of triumph had me holding back a smile. “Honestly, I think it’s enough if I just pop up somewhere unexpected. An ambush, so to speak. That’ll shake her a little, to find me lying in wait. Will she go on the defensive or take the offense? We’ll get insight from her reaction, and we need it.”
Gideon shook his head. “I don’t like it.”
“I didn’t think you would.” I stretched out my legs between his. “But you know I’m right. It’s not my strategy that’s bugging you, Gideon. More like your past won’t go away and you don’t want it in my face.”
“It will go away, Eva. Let me handle it.”
“You need to be more analytical about this. I’m a member of your team, like Angus and Raúl, but obviously I’m not an employee and I’m sure as hell not a dependent—I’m your better half. It’s not just Gideon Cross anymore. It’s not even Gideon Cross and wife. We are Gideon and Eva Cross, and you need to let me live up to that.”
He leaned forward, his gaze hot and intense. “You don’t have anything to prove to anyone.”
“Really? Because I feel like I have to prove something to you. If you don’t believe I’m strong enough …”
“Eva.” Gideon’s hands cupped the back of my knees and pulled me closer. “You’re the strongest woman I know.”
He said the words, but I could see he didn’t truly mean them. Not in the way we needed him to. He saw me as a survivor, not a warrior.
“Then stop worrying,” I countered, “and let me do what I have to do.”
“I don’t agree that you have to do anything.”
“Then you’ll have to agree to disagree.” I leaned into him, draping my arms across his broad shoulders and pressing my lips to the corner of his stern mouth.
“Angel—”
“To be clear, I wasn’t asking permission, Gideon. I’m telling you what I’m doing. You can either participate or stand back—your choice.”
He made a noise of frustration. “Where’s the compromise you’re always pushing me for?”
Pulling back, I shot him a look. “The compromise is letting me try it my way this time. If it doesn’t work, we try it your way next time.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t be like that. We’ll sit down together to work out the logistics of when and where. We’ll need Raúl to get a handle on her routine. By definition, an ambush is unexpected, but it should happen somewhere she feels safe and comfortable, too. Give her a nice jolt.” I shrugged. “She’s laid down the ground rules. We’re just taking her cue.”
Gideon took a long, deep breath. I could practically see him thinking, his agile mind trying to find a way to get the result he wanted.
So I distracted him from that. “Remember this morning, when I said I’d explain why I decided to tell my parents about our marriage?”
His focus instantly shifted, his gaze watchful and alert. “Of course.”
“I know it took a lot of courage for you to tell Dr. Petersen about Hugh. Especially considering how you feel about psychologists.” And who could blame him for that distrust? Hugh had come into Gideon’s life under the guise of therapeutic help and had become an abuser instead. “You inspired me to be equally brave.”
His gorgeous face softened with tenderness. “I heard that song today,” he murmured, reminding me of the time I’d sung the Sara Bareilles anthem to him.
I smiled.
“You needed me to tell him,” he said quietly. The words were phrased as a statement but were really posed as a question.
“Yeah, I did.” More than that, Gideon had needed it. Sexual abuse was private and personal, but in some way, we had to put it out there. It wasn’t a dirty, shameful secret to shove into a box. It was an ugly truth, and truths—by nature—needed to be aired.
“And you need to confront Anne.”
My brows rose. “I actually wasn’t swinging the conversation back to that, but yeah … I do.”
This time, Gideon nodded. “All right. We’ll figure it out.”
I indulged in a mental fist pump. Score one for Gideva.
“You also said there was something you wanted more than having sex with me,” he reminded me dryly, the look in his eyes calling my bluff.
“Well, I wouldn’t put it quite like that.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “Banging you is literally my favorite activity. Ever.”
He smirked. “But?”
“You’re going to think I’m silly.”
“I’ll still think you’re hot.”
I kissed him for that. “In high school, most of the girls I knew had boyfriends. You know how it is, raging hormones and epic love stories.”
“So I heard,” he said wryly.
My words caught in my throat. So stupid of me to forget how it must have been for Gideon. He’d had no one until Corinne in college, too damaged by Hugh’s exploitation to have the normal teenage-love-affair angst I was thinking of.
“Angel?”
I cursed silently. “Forget it. It’s lame.”
“You know that’s not going to work.”
“Just this once?”
“No.”
“Please?”
He shook his head. “Spit it out.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Fine. Teenagers talk on the phone at night for hours because they have school and parents and can’t be together. They spend all night chatting with their boyfriends about … whatever. I never had that. I never …” I bit back my embarrassment. “I never had a guy like that.”
I didn’t have to explain. Gideon knew how I’d been. How sex had once been my twisted way to feel loved. The guys I’d fucked hadn’t called me. Not before or after.
“Anyway,” I finished, my voice rough, “I had this idea that we could have that for now … while we’re waiting. Late-night calls where we talk just to hear each other’s voice.”
He stared at me.
“It sounded better in my head,” I muttered.
Gideon was quiet for a long minute. Then he kissed me. Hard.
I was still reeling from that when he pulled away and spoke in a voice that was more than a little hoarse.
“I’m that guy for you, Eva.”
My throat tightened up.
“Every milestone, angel. Every rite of passage … Everything.” He swiped at the tear that leaked out of the corner of my eye. “And you’re that girl for me.”
“God.” I gave a watery laugh. “I love you so much.”
Gideon smiled. “I’m heading home now, because that’s what you want. And you’re going to call me and tell me that again, because that’s what I want.”
“Deal.”
I woke before my alarm the next day. Lying in bed for a few minutes, I let my brain wake up as much as it was going to without coffee. I forced myself to focus on the fact that it was the start of my final day at work.
Surprisingly, I felt more than good about that. I felt … impatient. It really was time to shake things up.
And now the really big question. What to wear?
I rolled out of bed and hit my closet. After rifling through pretty much everything, I decided on an emerald green sheath dress that had an asymmetrical neckline and hemline. It showed a little more leg than I would normally consider for work, but why end the way I began? Why not take the opportunity to transition from the former to the future?
Today was Eva Tramell’s last. On Monday, Eva Cross would have her debut. I could picture her. Short and blond against her husband’s tall and dark but as dangerous as him in a very similar way.
Or maybe not. Maybe, play up the differences. Opposite sides of the same, sharp blade …
With a final glance at my cheval mirror, I headed into the bathroom to put on my makeup.
A short time later, Cary poked his head in. He whistled. “Lookin’ good, babe.”
“Thanks.” I dropped my lipstick brush back into its stand. “Can I talk you into helping me with a chignon?”
He sauntered in wearing nothing but Grey Isles boxer briefs, looking not so different from the billboards of him presently gracing phone kiosks and buses around the city. “Translation: Do it for you. Of course.”
My best friend got to work, expertly brushing and twisting my hair into a sleek, elegant bun.
“That was pretty intense last night,” he said, after pulling the last hairpin out of his mouth. “Having a living room full of black suits like that.”
My eyes met his in the mirror. “Three suits.”
“Two suits and Gideon,” he shot back, “who can fill a room by his damn self.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
He flashed his megawatt smile. “If anyone gets wind that I’ve got a private security detail, they’ll think either I’m bigger shit than they knew or I’ve got an inflated sense of my own importance. Both of which are true.”
Standing, I lifted onto my tiptoes and kissed his chin. “You won’t even know they’re around. They’ll be in super stealth mode.”
“Betcha I can spot ’em.”
“Five bucks,” I said, skirting around him to get a pair of heels from the bedroom.
“What? How about five big ones, Mrs. Cross?”
“Ha!” I snatched my phone off the bed when it chimed with an incoming text. “Gideon’s on his way up.”
“Why didn’t he spend the night?”
I answered over my shoulder as I rushed toward the hallway, “We’re abstaining until the wedding.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Cary’s long strides easily overtook mine, even with him strolling and me scrambling. He swiped my heels right out of my grasp, freeing me to grab my travel mug of coffee off the breakfast bar. “I figured the honeymoon period lasted longer than that. Don’t most husbands get laid at least a few years before they get cut off ?”
“Shut up, Cary!” I grabbed my bag and yanked the front door open.
Gideon stood on the other side, his hand lifted with key at the ready. “Angel.”
Cary reached around me and pulled the door open wider. “I feel for you, man. Put a ring on it and bam, the legs slam shut.”
“Cary!” I glared. “I’m going to punch you.”
“Who’s going to pack your overnight bag if you do that?”
He knew me too well.
“Don’t worry, baby girl, I’ll be ready with your bag and mine.” He looked at Gideon. “Can’t help you, I’m afraid. Wait ’til you see her in that blue La Perla bikini I’m packing. You’ll have the balls to match.”
“I’m going to punch you, too,” Gideon drawled. “You’ll have bruises to match.”
Cary gave me a soft push out the door and slammed it shut.
It was nearing noon when Mark leaned over the top of my cubicle and gifted me with his crooked smile. “Ready for our last workday lunch?”
I clasped a hand over my heart. “You’re killing me.”
“Happy to give your resignation letter back.”
Shaking my head, I stood, my gaze sliding over my workstation. I hadn’t packed my few personal items yet. When five o’clock rolled around, I expected to feel closure. But for now, I wasn’t quite ready to give up my claim to my desk and the dream it had once represented.
“We’ll have other lunches.” I grabbed my purse out of the drawer and walked with him to the elevators. “I’m not letting you off the hook that easily.”
I had a wave ready for Megumi when we hit reception, but she’d already taken off for lunch and her relief was busy manning the phones.
I was going to miss seeing her, Will, and Mark every weekday. They were my own little piece of New York, a part of my life that belonged to me alone. That was something else I’d feared giving up by leaving my job—my personal social circle.
I would work hard to keep my friends, of course. I’d make time to call and plan things for us to do together, but I knew how it was—already I’d gone months without touching base with my San Diego pals. And my life would no longer resemble those of my friends. Our goals, dreams, and challenges would be worlds apart.
The elevator car that picked up Mark and me held only a few people, but the space filled quickly as it made more stops. I made a mental note to ask Gideon for one of his magic elevator keys that allowed him to glide straight up or down with no interruptions. After all, I’d still be coming to the Crossfire, just heading up to a different floor.
“What about you?” I asked, as we shuffled closer together to make room for more passengers. “Have you decided whether you’re staying or going?”
He nodded and shoved his hands in his pants pockets. “I’m taking your cue.”
I could tell from the set of his jaw that he was firm in his decision. “That’s awesome, Mark. Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
We exited on the ground floor and made our way through the security turnstiles.
“Steven and I talked it out,” he went on, as we crossed the gold-veined marble of the Crossfire lobby. “Hiring you was a big step up for me. It was a sign that my career was moving in the right direction.”
“There’s no doubt about that.”
He smiled. “Losing you is another sign—it’s time to move on.”
Mark gestured me through the revolving door first. I felt the heat of the sun before I finished the rotation that ushered me outside. Fall weather couldn’t come quick enough. I was looking forward to the change of seasons. It felt appropriate for there to be some outward shift to match the one happening within me.
My gaze slid over Gideon’s sleek black limousine parked at the curb, and then I turned to face my boss when he joined me on the sidewalk. “Where are we headed?”
Mark gave me an amused glance before he began scouting for an available taxi amid the surging sea of cars. “It’s a surprise.”
I rubbed my hands together. “Yay.”
“Miss Tramell.”
I turned at the sound of my name and found Angus standing beside the limo. Dressed in his usual black suit and traditional chauffeur’s hat, he looked dapper and expensive yet blended in so easily that only a trained observer might suspect his MI6 background.
It always tripped me out to think about his history. It was so James Bond. I’m sure I romanticized it way too much, but I was comforted by the knowledge, too. Gideon was in the best of hands.
“Hey, you,” I greeted Angus, allowing affection to color my voice.
I couldn’t help but feel special gratitude for him. His past with Gideon spanned years and I would never know the whole of it, but I knew he’d been the one support in Gideon’s life after Hugh. And Angus had been the only person from our daily lives who’d witnessed our elopement. The look on his face when he talked to Gideon afterward … the tears that had shined in both of their eyes … There was an unbreakable bond there.
His pale blue eyes sparkled at me as he pulled open the limo door. “Where would you both like to go?”
Mark’s brows shot up. “This is what you left me for? Hell. I can’t compete.”
“You never had to.” I paused before I slid into the back and looked at Angus. “Mark doesn’t want me to know where we’re headed, so I’ll just climb in and try not to eavesdrop.”
Angus tapped the brim of his hat in acknowledgment.
A few minutes later we were on our way.
Mark sat on the bench seat opposite me, taking in the interior. “Whoa. I’ve rented limos before, but they never looked like this.”
“Gideon has great taste.” It didn’t matter what the style was—modern and contemporary like his office or classic and old world like his penthouse—my husband knew how to present his wealth with class.
Looking at me, Mark grinned. “You’re a lucky lady, my friend.”
“I am,” I agreed. “All of this”—I waved my hand—“is amazing, of course. But he’s the catch all by himself. He’s just genuinely a really great guy.”
“I know what it’s like to have one of those.”
“Yes. You sure do. How’s the wedding planning coming along?”
Mark groaned. “Steven’s killing me. Do I want blue or periwinkle? Roses or lilies? Satin or silk? Morning or evening? I tried to tell him that he can do what he wants, I just want him, but he chewed me out. Said I damned well better care because I didn’t have a chance of ever getting married again. All I can say is thank God for that.”
I laughed.
“How about you?” he asked.
“I’m starting to get into it. In this crazy world filled with billions of people, we managed to find each other. As Cary would say, we should celebrate that.”
We talked about first dances and seating arrangements as Angus maneuvered us through the traffic that seemed to always clog Midtown. Looking past Mark out the window, I watched a cab come to a stop at the light beside us. The passenger in the back pinched a phone between her shoulder and ear, lips moving a mile a minute and hands furiously flipping through a notebook. Behind her, on the corner, a hot dog cart vendor did brisk business with a waiting line of five people.
When we finally arrived and I stepped out onto the sidewalk I knew right where we were. “Hey!”
Tucked below street level, the Mexican restaurant was one we’d been to before. And it just so happened to employ a server I was very fond of.
Mark laughed. “You quit so suddenly Shawna didn’t have time to request the day off.”
“Aww, man.” My chest felt tight. It was starting to feel like an ending I wasn’t ready for.
“Come on.” He caught me by the elbow and directed me inside, where I quickly spotted the table that held a party of familiar faces and Mylar balloons that said GREAT JOB and BEST WISHES and CONGRATS.
“Wow.” My eyes burned with a sudden wash of tears.
Megumi and Will sat with Steven at a table set for six. Shawna stood behind her brother’s chair, their bright red hair impossible to miss.
“Eva!” they shouted in chorus, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.
“Oh my God,” I breathed, my heart breaking more than a little. I was suddenly filled with sadness and doubt, faced with what I was giving up, even if only in one way. “You guys are so not getting rid of me!”
“Of course not.” Shawna came over and gave me a hug, her slim arms strong and fierce around me. “We’ve got a bachelorette blowout to plan!”
“Woot!” Megumi wrapped me in a hug the second Shawna stepped back.
“Maybe we could skip that tradition,” interjected a warm, deep voice behind me.
Turning in surprise, I faced Gideon. He stood beside Mark with a single, perfect red rose in hand.
Mark flashed a big smile. “He touched base earlier to see if we were doing anything and said he wanted to come.”
I smiled through my tears. I wasn’t losing my friends, and I was gaining so much more. Gideon was always there when I needed him, even before I realized he was the integral piece that was missing.
“I dare you to try their diablo salsa,” I challenged, holding my hand out for my rose.
His lips curved faintly with a subtle smile, the one that did me in every time—and every other woman in the room, too, I couldn’t help but notice. But the look in his eyes, the understanding and support for what I was feeling … That was all mine.
“It’s your party, angel mine.”