4
The two-story house that sprawled along the coastline glowed with golden warmth spilling from every window. Lights embedded in the curving driveway glittered like a bed of stars in the gloaming, while hydrangea bushes the size of small cars burst with petals around the edges of the wide lawn.
“Isn’t it pretty?” Eva asked, her back to me as she knelt on the black leather bench seat and stared out the window.
“Stunning,” I replied, although I was referring to her. She was vibrating with excitement and a childlike delight. I took that in, needing to understand it and the cause. Her happiness was vital to me. It was the wellspring of my own contentment, the weight that balanced my equilibrium and kept me steady.
She glanced over her shoulder at me as Angus slowed the limo to a halt by the front steps. “Are you checking out my butt?”
My gaze dropped to her ass, cupped so perfectly by the shorts she’d changed into after work. “Now that you mention it …”
She plopped down onto the seat with a huff of laughter. “There’s no help for you, you know that?”
“Yes, I knew there was no cure the first time you kissed me.”
“I’m pretty sure you kissed me.”
I held back a smile. “Is that the way it went?”
Her gaze narrowed. “You better be joking. That moment should be seared into your brain.”
Reaching over, I ran my hand down her bare thigh. “Is it seared into yours?” I murmured, pleased by the thought.
“Hey, now,” Cary interrupted, pulling his ear buds out. “Don’t forget I’m sitting right here.”
Eva’s roommate had been unobtrusively watching a movie on his tablet during the nearly two-hour drive through evening traffic, but I could never forget he was there. Cary Taylor was a fixture in my wife’s life and I accepted it, even if I didn’t like it. While I believed he loved Eva, I also believed he made bad choices that put her in tough situations and even posed a risk.
Angus opened the door. Eva was out and running up the steps before I put my tablet away. Monica opened the front door just as her daughter hit the top landing.
Surprised by my wife’s enthusiasm, considering she barely tolerated her mother most of the time, I stared after her curiously.
Cary laughed as he gathered his things and shoved them into a small messenger bag. “One whiff. That’s all it takes.”
“Excuse me?”
“Monica usually bakes these crazy good cookies with peanut butter cups. Eva’s making sure she stashes some before I get in there and eat ’em all.”
Making a mental note to get that recipe, I looked back toward the two women on the porch, catching them exchanging air kisses before they both turned to look my way. At that moment, with Monica dressed in capris and a casual shirt, the similarities between them were striking.
Cary hopped out and took the steps two at a time, barreling directly into Monica’s open-armed embrace and lifting her off her feet. Their laughter rang out through the gathering dusk.
I heard Angus speak to me from where he stood by the open door. “You can’t spend the weekend in the limo, lad.”
Amused, I left my tablet on the seat and stepped out.
He grinned. “It’ll be good for you to have family.”
I set my hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “I already have one.”
For years, Angus had been all I’d had. And he’d been enough.
“Come on, slowpoke!” Eva came back to me, grabbing my hand and dragging me up the steps after her.
“Gideon.” Monica’s smile was wide and warm.
“Monica.” I held out my hand and was startled to be hugged tightly instead.
“I’d tell you to call me Mom,” she said, pulling back. “But I’m afraid I’d feel old.”
Awkwardness morphed into a prickling that ran down my spine. It struck me then that I’d miscalculated to a wide degree.
Marriage to Eva made her mine. It also made me hers, and connected me to her loved ones in a very personal way.
Monica and I had known each other for a while, our paths crossing occasionally because of the various children’s charities we both supported. We’d established particular parameters for our interactions, just as every association followed known protocols.
Abruptly, that was all blown to hell.
I found myself glancing back at Angus, at a loss. Apparently my predicament was entertaining, since he gave me a wink and left me to my own devices. He rounded the trunk to greet Benjamin Clancy, who waited by the driver’s-side door of the limo.
“The garage is over there,” Monica said, pointing at the two-story building across the road that was a small replica of the main house. “Clancy will make sure your driver gets settled and your bags are brought in.”
Eva tugged on my hand and led me inside. Cary had guessed right. I was inundated with the smell of buttery vanilla. Not candles. Cookies. The homey and comforting scent made me itch to turn around and step back outside.
I wasn’t prepared. I’d come as a guest, Eva’s plus-one. To be a son-in-law, a true member of the family, was a possibility I hadn’t anticipated.
“I love this house,” Eva said, taking me through the archway that framed the opening to the living room.
I saw what I expected. An upscale beach house with white-slipcovered seating and nautical-themed accessories.
“Don’t you love the espresso hardwood floors?” she asked. “I would’ve gone with bleached oak, but that’s so predictable, right? And the green, orange, and yellow accent colors over the usual blue? Makes me want to go rogue when we get back to the Outer Banks.”
She had no idea how much I wanted to get back there now. There at least I’d have more than a second to myself before I had to deal with a houseful of brand-new relatives.
The expansive living area flowed directly into the open kitchen, where Stanton, Martin, Lacey, and Cary all gathered around a large kitchen island with seating for six. The entire space shared the view of the water afforded by a row of sliding glass panels that opened onto a wide veranda.
“Hey!” Eva protested. “You better save me some cookies!”
Stanton grinned and approached us. Dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, he looked like a younger version of the man I knew from our dealings in New York. He’d shed the corporate vibe along with his suit, and I felt like I faced a stranger.
“Eva.” Stanton kissed Eva’s cheek, then turned to me. “Gideon.”
Accustomed to being addressed by my last name, I wasn’t braced for the hug that followed.
“Congratulations,” he said, giving me a firm pat on the back before releasing me.
Irritation simmered. Where was the natural evolution? The gradual shifting from business colleague to social acquaintance. And from there, from friend to family?
I abruptly thought of Victor. He’d understood what my marriage meant in a way I hadn’t.
While I stood stiffly, Stanton smiled at my wife. “I think your mother stashed some cookies in the warming drawer for you.”
“Yes!” She rushed into the kitchen, leaving me with her stepfather.
My stepfather-in-law.
My gaze followed her. In doing so, I caught the wave Martin Stanton sent my way, and I acknowledged it with a nod. If he tried to hug me, he was going to get a fist in the face.
I’d once told him he could count on seeing me at family gatherings. It felt surreal now that it was actually happening. Like I was being punked.
Eva’s husky laugh carried across the room to me and drew my eye. She held her left hand out to the blonde standing by Martin, showing off the ring I’d given her when I made her my wife.
Monica joined Stanton and me, sliding into place at her husband’s side. Her youthful beauty aged him, drawing attention to the stark whiteness of his hair and the lines etching his face. It was evident, however, that Stanton didn’t care about the decades that separated him and his wife. He lit up when he looked at her, his faded blue eyes softening with affection.
I searched for something appropriate to say. In the end, all that came out was, “You have a beautiful home.”
“It didn’t look this good before Monica got her hands on it.” Stanton wrapped an arm around her slender waist. “Same can be said for me.”
“Richard.” Monica shook her head. “Can I give you a tour, Gideon?”
“Let’s give the man a drink first,” Stanton suggested, eyeing me. “He’s been in the car awhile.”
“Wine?” she offered.
“Maybe scotch,” Stanton said.
“Scotch would be great,” I replied, chagrined that my unease was apparently obvious.
I was out of my element, something I should be used to since meeting Eva, but she had been an anchor of sorts, even as she sent me reeling. As long as I held on to her, I could weather any storm. Or so I’d thought.
Looking for my wife, I turned and felt a rush of relief to find her coming toward me with a bounce in her step that had her ponytail swaying.
“Try this,” she ordered, lifting a cookie to my lips.
I opened my mouth but snapped my teeth shut a split second too soon, deliberately nipping her fingers.
“Ow.” She frowned, but the literal bite of pain had the intended effect of focusing her attention on me. The frown faded as understanding dimmed the light in her eyes. She saw me, saw what was happening inside me.
“Want to go outside?” she murmured.
“In a minute.” I jerked my chin toward the bar in the living room where Stanton was pouring my drink. I also caught her by the wrist, keeping her close.
It rankled, holding her back from the group. I didn’t want to be one of those men who smother the women who love them. But I needed time to adjust to all this. The usual distance I maintained from others, including Cary, wouldn’t be acceptable with Monica or Stanton. Not after seeing how much joy Eva took in being with those she considered family.
Family for her was a safe place. She was as relaxed and easy as I’d ever seen her. For me, gatherings like this sent up red flags.
I told myself to chill as Stanton returned with our drinks. But I didn’t let my guard down completely.
Martin came over and introduced his girlfriend, both of them offering congratulations. That went as expected, which soothed me a little, although not as much as the double scotch I polished off with one swallow.
“I’m going to show him the beach,” Eva said, taking the empty glass from me and setting it on an end table we passed on the way to the glass doors.
It was warmer outside than it was in the house, summer lingering this year to the very end. A strong salt-tinged breeze washed over us, whipping my hair across my face.
We walked to the edge of the lapping surf, her hand in mine.
“What’s going on?” she asked, facing me.
The concern in her voice had me bristling. “Did you know this was some sort of family celebration because we’re married?”
She recoiled from the snap in my tone. “I didn’t think about it like that. And Mom didn’t call it that, but I suppose it makes sense.”
“Not to me.” I turned my back to her and began walking into the wind, letting it blow my hair away from my heated face.
“Gideon!” Eva hurried after me. “Why are you mad?”
I rounded on her. “I wasn’t expecting this!”
“What?”
“The assimilation-into-the-family crap.”
She frowned. “Well, yeah. I told you they knew.”
“That shouldn’t change anything.”
“Uh … Why tell them, then? You wanted them to know, Gideon.” She stared at me when I didn’t say anything. “What did you think would happen?”
“I never expected to get married, Eva, so forgive me if I didn’t think about it.”
“Okay.” She held up both hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m confused.”
And I didn’t know how to make things clear. “I can’t … I’m not ready for this.”
“Ready for what?”
I waved an impatient hand toward the house. “For that.”
“Can you be more specific?” she asked carefully.
“I … No.”
“Did I miss something in there?” Her voice held a sharp note of anger. “What did they say, Gideon?”
It took me a moment to understand that she was rising to my defense. That only goaded me further. “I came here to be with you. It just so happens you’re spending time with your family—”
“They’re your family, too.”
“I didn’t ask for that.”
I watched as understanding sifted across her face. When pity followed, my fists clenched at my sides. “Don’t look at me like that, Eva.”
“I don’t know what to say. Tell me what you need.”
I exhaled roughly. “More liquor.” Her mouth curved. “I’m sure you won’t be the first groom who feels the need to drink around his in-laws.”
“Can we not call them that, please?”
The faint smile faded. “What would that change? You can call them Mr. and Mrs. Stanton, but—”
“I’m not the one who’s confused about where I fit here.”
Her lips pursed. “I’m not sure I agree with that.”
“Two days ago, they would’ve shaken my hand and called me Cross. Now, it’s hugs and ‘call me Mom’ and smiles that expect something!”
“Actually, she told you not to call her Mom, but I get it. You’re their son by marriage and it’s freaking you out. Still, is it so terrible that they’re happy about it? Would you prefer it if they were like my dad?”
“Yes.” I knew how to deal with anger and disappointment.
Eva took a step back, her eyes dark and wide in the light of a waning moon.
“No,” I retracted, shoving a hand through my hair. I didn’t know how to deal with disappointing her. “Damn it. I don’t know.”
She stared at me for a long minute. I looked away, out over the water.
“Gideon …” She closed the gap she’d put between us. “Honestly, I get it. My mom’s been married three times. Every time it’s a new instant father figure that I—”
“I have a stepfather,” I interrupted tersely. “It’s not the same thing. No one gives a shit whether a stepparent likes you.”
“Is that what this is about?” She walked into me and hugged me tight. “They already like you.”
I gripped her close. “They don’t fucking know me.”
“They will. And they’re going to love you. You’re every parent’s dream.”
“Cut the bullshit, Eva.”
She shoved away from me, her temper flaring. “You know what? If you didn’t want any in-laws, you should’ve married an orphan.”
She marched back toward the house.
“Get back here,” I snapped.
She flipped her middle finger at me over her shoulder.
I caught her in three strides, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around. “We’re not done.”
“I am.” Eva pushed up onto her tiptoes to get in my face, which still left her tilting her head back to glare at me. “You’re the one who wanted to get married. If you’re having cold feet, it’s all on you.”
“Don’t make this my problem!” Fury sizzled through my blood, ratcheting up my frustration.
“Sorry you didn’t realize the commitment involved more than a convenient piece of ass!”
“Conveniently unavailable,” I countered, feeling a muscle twitching in my jaw.
“Screw you.”
“Excellent idea.”
She was flat on her back in the sand before she knew what hit her. I pinned her down, pressing hard, my mouth on hers to shut her up. She arched, struggling, and I gripped her ponytail to hold her in place.
Her teeth sank into my bottom lip and I pulled back with a curse.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Her legs tangled with mine and I found myself beneath her, staring up at her furious, beautiful face. “This is exactly why you’re not getting any, ace. Sex is your go-to solution for everything.”
“You’ve got to make this worth my while,” I taunted, wanting a fight.
“I’m worth your while, asshat. Not my vagina.” She pushed down on my shoulders. “I’m sorry you feel ambushed. I’m really sorry that being welcomed with open arms makes you lose your damn mind. But you’re going to have to get used to it because it’s all part of the package you got with me.”
I knew that. Knew I had to make it work, because I had to have her. It trapped me, my love for her. Pushed me into corners I couldn’t back out of. Forced a family on me when I’d gotten by just fine without one.
“I don’t want this,” I said tightly.
Eva stilled. She sank back onto her knees, her thighs bracketing my hips. “Think about what you’re saying,” she warned.
“I don’t know how to play this role, Eva.”
“Jesus.” Her temper left her on a sigh. “Just be yourself.”
“I’m the last thing they’d want for their daughter.”
“You really think that?” She studied me. “You do. God, Gideon …”
I gripped her thighs, holding her in place. She couldn’t leave me now. Whatever happened, I wasn’t letting her leave me.
“Okay.” Her eyes took on a calculation that made me wary. “So be yourself. If they find out what a terrible guy you are and hate you, you’d like that better anyway, right?”
“Leave the mind games to the shrinks, Eva.”
“I’m just working with what you’re giving me, ace.”
A whistle drew our gazes to where Martin, Lacey, and Cary were stepping onto the sand from the edge of the slate-covered patio.
“You guys are totally newlyweds,” Lacey called out, almost too far away to hear. She laughed as she struggled to balance on the shifting sand, spilling half the contents of her wineglass in the process.
Eva looked back at me. “Do you want to fight in front of them?”
I took a deep breath. Let it out. “No.”
“I love you.”
“Christ.” My eyes closed.
It was a goddamned weekend. A couple days. Maybe we could leave early on Sunday ….
Her lips brushed mine. “We can do this. Just try.”
What choice did I have?
“If it starts driving you crazy,” she went on, “just imagine some terribly wicked thing you want to do to me on our wedding night as payback.”
My fingers flexed into her flesh. I wasn’t ashamed to admit that sex with my wife—even just the thought of sex with my wife—took precedence over damn near everything else.
“You can even text me all your nefarious plans,” she suggested. “Make me suffer, too.”
“Keep your phone on you.”
“You’re evil.” She bent down and pressed her lips to mine in a quick, sweet kiss. “You’re so easy to love, Gideon. Even when you’re impossible. One day, you’re going to see it.”
I dismissed that. What mattered was that I see her, that she was right there with me even after I fucked it all up.
Dinner was simple—salad and spaghetti. Monica cooked and served, and Eva glowed. Wine flowed freely, bottle after bottle opened and emptied. Everyone relaxed. Laughed. Even me.
Lacey’s presence was a welcome buffer. She was the newest addition to the group and got the most attention. That gave me some breathing room. And as time passed, Eva became flushed and bright-eyed with intoxication. She slid her chair closer and closer to my own, until she was pressed against my side, her body soft and warm.
Beneath the table, her hands and feet were busy, touching me often. Her voice grew huskier, her laugh became lusty. Eva had once confessed that drinking made her horny, but I would know the signs anywhere regardless.
It was nearing two in the morning when Lacey’s yawn turned everyone’s thoughts to ending the night. Monica walked with us to the stairs.
“Your things are already in your room,” she said, speaking to both Eva and me. “Let’s all plan on sleeping in and having brunch.”
“Um …” My wife frowned.
I caught her by the elbow. Clearly Eva hadn’t considered that we’d be sharing a room and a bed, but that inevitability had never been far from my mind. “Thank you, Monica. We’ll see you later today.”
She laughed and cupped my face in her hands, kissing my cheek. “I’m so happy, Gideon. You’re just what Eva needs.”
I managed a smile, aware that her sentiments would change if she knew how dangerous it was for her daughter to share a bed with a man whose violent nightmares posed a serious risk of harm.
Eva and I started up the stairs.
“Gideon—”
I cut her off. “Where are we going?”
She glanced aside at me. “All the way up.”
Eva’s room was indeed at the top, taking up the entirety of what was once probably a large attic. The low-pitched gabled roof made for a comfortable ceiling height and would offer an impressive view of Long Island Sound during daylight.
The king-size bed sat in the middle of the room, facing the wall of windows. Its brass headboard formed a divider of sorts, with a couch placed against the back to anchor a small seating area. The en suite bathroom filled the other side of the space.
Eva faced me. “How is this going to work?”
“Let me worry about that.” I was used to worrying about sharing a bed with my wife; it was something I did daily. Of all the things that jeopardized our relationship, my atypical sexual parasomnia—as Dr. Petersen called it—topped the list. I had no defense against my fucked-up mind when I was sleeping. On rough nights, I was a physical danger to the one I loved most.
Eva crossed her arms. “Somehow, I don’t think you’re as invested in waiting till the wedding as I am.”
I stared at her, realizing we were thinking of two entirely different things. “I’ll take the couch.”
“Take me on the couch, you mean. You’ve—”
“I’ll fuck you there, given the chance,” I said tightly, “but I’m not sleeping with you.”
Her mouth opened to retort, then closed as comprehension hit her. “Oh.”
The entire mood changed. The challenge in her eyes and voice altered to subdued caution. It killed me to see it, to know that I could be the source of any unhappiness in her life.
Still, I was too selfish to walk away. One day her family would see that about me and hate me for it.
Aggravated, I looked for my duffel bag and found it atop a luggage rack by the bathroom. I went to it, needing to do something other than see Eva’s disillusionment and regret.
“I don’t want you sleeping on the couch,” she called after me.
“I wasn’t planning on sleeping.”
I grabbed my grooming kit and went into the bathroom. The lights came on as soon as I entered, revealing a pedestal sink and freestanding tub. I turned on the taps in the floating glass shower and took off my shirt.
The door opened and Eva stepped in. I glanced at her, pausing with my hand on the fly of my slacks.
Her hot gaze slid all over me, missing nothing, touching everything. She took a deep breath. “We have to talk.”
I was aroused by her admiration and furious with my own shortcomings; talking was the last thing I wanted to do. “Go to bed, Eva.”
“Not until I say what I have to say.”
“I’m taking a shower.”
“Fine.” She pulled her tank top up and over her head. Everything roiling inside me coalesced into a single driving need.
I straightened, every muscle tense and straining.
She reached behind her back to unsnap her bra.
My dick hardened painfully as her lush, firm tits bounced into view. I’d never been a breast man before Eva. Now …
God. They made me lose my mind.
“Talking isn’t what’s going to happen if you take your clothes off,” I warned, my cock throbbing.
“You’re going to hear me out, ace, whether it’s out here or in the shower. Your choice.”
“Tonight isn’t the night to push me.”
She dropped her shorts.
I had my pants opened and on the floor before she finished stepping out of the silky triangle she wore as underwear.
Despite the building humidity that fogged the room, her nipples tightened into hard points. Her gaze fell to my cock. As if she imagined tasting me, her tongue slid along her lower lip.
My hunger for her rumbled up from my chest in a near growl. Eva shivered at the sound. I wanted to touch her … to put my hands and mouth all over her …
Instead, I let her look her fill.
Her breathing picked up. Seeing the effect I had on her was painfully, undeniably erotic. What I felt when she looked at me … it moved me.
She remained by the door. Steam drifted over the top of the shower, encroaching on the edges of the mirror and misting my skin. Her eyes dropped to my throat. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Gideon.”
My hands fisted reflexively. She couldn’t say those words to me and not redirect my attention. “What are you talking about?”
“Just now, when we were in the bedroom. I could sense you pulling away and there was this panic I felt …”
Eva fell silent for a long moment. I waited, reining my lust back with a deep breath.
“Holding off until the wedding … It’s not just about Dr. Petersen’s advice or the way you cope with fights.” She swallowed. “It’s about me, too. You know how I was—I told you. Sex was all twisted up for me for a long time.”
She shifted on her feet, shame bowing her head. It made me sick to see it. It struck me then that I’d been too wrapped up in my own reactions to the events of the last week without thinking about what my wife was going through.
“It was for me, too,” I reminded her gruffly. “But it’s never been that way between us.”
She caught my gaze. “No. Never.”
My clenched fists relaxed.
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t still twist things up in my head,” she went on. “You walked into the bathroom and my first thought was that I should fuck you. Like if we have sex, it’ll fix everything. You won’t be mad anymore and I’ll have your love again.”
“You always have it. You always will.”
“I know that.” And from the set of her jaw, I could see that she did. “But that didn’t stop the voice in my head from telling me I’m risking too much. That I’m going to lose you if I don’t put out. That you’re too sexual to go so long without it.”
“God.” How many times and ways could I fuck this up? “The way I talked to you on the beach … I’m an asshole, Eva.”
“Sometimes.” She smiled. “You’re also the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That voice has been screwing me up for years, but it doesn’t have the same power anymore. Because of you. You’ve made me stronger.”
“Eva.” Words failed me.
“I want you to think about that. Not your nightmares or my parents or anything else. You’re exactly what I need, just the way you are, and I love you so much.”
I walked toward her.
“I still want to wait,” she said quietly, even as her eyes betrayed how I affected her.
She grabbed my wrist when I reached for her, her gaze holding mine. “Let me do all the touching.”
I inhaled sharply. “I can’t agree to that.”
Her mouth curved. “Yes, you can. You’re stronger than I am, Gideon. You have more control. Greater willpower.”
Her other hand reached up to graze my chest. I caught it and pressed it against my skin. “Is that what you need me to prove? My control?”
“You’re doing fine.” She pressed a kiss over my pounding heart. “I’m the one who needs to figure things out.”
Her tone of voice was soft, almost crooning. I was raging inside, burning with lust and love, and she was trying to gentle me. I almost laughed at the impossibility of that.
Then she stepped into me, her plush body fitting tightly against mine, her arms hugging me so hard there wasn’t any space between us.
I crushed her close, my head bowing over hers. I didn’t know until that moment how badly I’d needed to feel her like that. Tender and accepting, bared in every way possible.
She leaned her cheek against my chest. “I love you so much,” she whispered. “Can you feel it?”
It overwhelmed me. Her love for me, my love for her. Every time she said the words, they hit me like blows.
“You said once,” she whispered, “that there’s a moment while we’re making love when I open and you open and we’re together. I want to give you that all the time, Gideon.”
The suggestion that there was something missing in what we had stiffened my spine. “Does it really matter how and when we feel it?”
“You could argue that.” Her head tilted back. “I won’t disagree. But if you’re on the other side of the world when you need reassurance from me, I need to know that I can give it to you.”
“You’ll be with me,” I muttered, frustrated.
“Not always.” Her hand cupped my cheek. “There will be times when you need to be in two places at once. Eventually, you’ll trust me to fill in for you.”
I studied her, looking for cracks in her resolve. What I saw was determination. I didn’t totally understand what she hoped to achieve, but I wasn’t getting in the way. If she was going to change or evolve, I needed to be part of that process if I expected to keep her.
“Kiss me.” The words left my throat as a low command, but she must have sensed the yearning behind it.
She offered her mouth and I took it hard, too hard, my hunger violent and greedy. I lifted her off her feet, wanting her to wrap her legs around me, to open to me so I could push inside her.
She didn’t. She hung there, her hands stroking through my hair, her body trembling with the same unquenchable desire I felt. The flicks of her tongue against mine were maddening, taunting me with the memory of that tongue stroking over the rest of my body.
I struggled to pull away when everything inside me was goading me to push further. “I need to be inside you,” I said hoarsely, hating that I had to voice what was so obvious. Why make me plead?
“You are.” She nuzzled her cheek against mine. “I want you, too. I’m so wet for you right now. I feel so empty it hurts.”
“Eva … Christ.” Sweat slid down my back. “Let me have you.”
Her lips touched mine. Her fingers raked through my hair. “Let me love you another way.”
Could I handle that? Hell. I had to. I’d vowed to give her whatever she needed, to be the beginning and end of everything for her.
I set her down and went to the shower, shutting the taps off. Then I moved to the tub, stopped the drain, and started filling it.
“Are you mad?” she asked in a low voice I barely heard over the rush of water.
I looked at her, saw the way her arms crossed her chest and gave away her vulnerability. I told her the truth. “I love you.”
Eva’s lower lip trembled, then curved in a beautiful smile that took my breath away.
I’d once told her I would take her any way I could get her. That was even more true now than it was then. “Come here, angel.”
Her arms dropped to her sides and she came.
The shifting of the bed woke me. Blinking, I registered the sunlight flooding the room. Eva’s face came into focus, haloed by the light and bright with a wide grin.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” she said.
The night came flooding back to me. The long bath with my wife’s soapy hands running through my hair and over my skin. Her voice as she talked about the wedding. Her sensual laugh as I tickled her in bed. Her sighs and moans as we kissed until our lips were sore and swollen, making out like teenagers who weren’t ready to go all the way.
I won’t lie—sex would’ve taken things to another level. But the night was memorable all the same. It ranked right up there with other all-nighters we’d shared.
Then I remembered where I was and what that meant.
“I slept in the bed.” The realization was like a bucket of cold water dumped over me.
“Yep.” She gave a happy little bounce. “You did.”
To have done so was irresponsible in the worst way. I hadn’t even taken the medicine prescribed to help mitigate the risk.
“Don’t scowl like that,” she chastised, bending down to kiss the space between my brows. “You slept hard. When’s the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”
I sat up. “That’s not the point and you know it.”
“Listen, ace. We’ve got enough to be stressed about. We don’t need to get worked up over things that go right.” She stood. “If you want to be mad about something, be mad at Cary for packing this.”
She shrugged out of the short white robe she was wearing, revealing a tiny dark blue bikini that hugged what little it managed to cover.
“Jesus.” All the blood in my body rushed to my dick. It waved beneath the sheet in hearty appreciation.
Eva laughed, her eyes dropping to where my erection tented the luxuriously thick cotton. “You like.”
Holding her arms out, she turned, showing off the Brazilian cut of the bikini bottom. My wife’s ass was as voluptuous as her tits. I knew she thought she was too curvy, but I couldn’t disagree more. I’d never been one to appreciate overly generous assets on a woman, but Eva changed that for me, as she’d changed so many other things.
I hadn’t a clue what kind of material the bikini was made of, but it was seamless and hugged her skin so perfectly it looked painted on. Thin straps at the neck, hips, and back brought to mind thoughts of tying her up and taking what I needed.
“Come here,” I ordered, reaching for her.
She danced out of reach. Tossing the sheet back, I surged to my feet.
“Down, boy,” she teased, darting around the sofa.
I fisted my cock, stroking it hard from root to tip as I stalked her into the seating area. “That’s not going to work.”
Her eyes sparkled with laughter.
“Eva—”
She snatched something off the back of the chair and ran to the door. “See you downstairs!”
I lunged for her and missed, finding myself facing the back of the slammed door instead. “Damn it.”
I brushed my teeth, threw on swim trunks and a T-shirt, and followed her down. I was the last one to make an appearance, discovering the rest of the group already seated at the kitchen island and eating heartily. A quick glance at the clock told me it was almost noon.
I looked for Eva and found her sitting on the patio with a phone to her ear. She’d covered herself in a strapless white skirt thing. I noted that Monica and Lacey were both dressed similarly, with bathing suits partially hidden by barely-there cover-ups. Like me, Cary, Stanton, and Martin had on trunks and T-shirts.
“She always calls her dad on Saturdays,” Cary said, following my gaze.
I watched my wife for a long minute, looking for any signs of distress. She wasn’t smiling anymore, but she didn’t look upset.
“Here you go, Gideon.” Monica set a plate of waffles and bacon in front of me. “Would you like coffee? Or maybe a mimosa?”
I glanced at Eva again before answering. “Coffee—black—would be great, thank you.”
Monica moved toward the coffeemaker on the counter. I joined her.
She smiled at me, her lips painted the same pink as the halter tie of her swimsuit. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a rock.” Which was true, though that was pure luck. The entire household might’ve been woken up by a fight between Eva and me, with her struggling to fight me off while my dreams imagined she was someone else.
Glancing over my shoulder at Cary, I caught his grim gaze. He’d seen what could happen. He didn’t trust me with Eva any more than I trusted myself.
I grabbed an extra mug out of the cupboard Monica reached into. “I can get it,” I told her.
“Nonsense.”
I didn’t argue with her. I let her pour my coffee, then followed suit by pouring a cup for my wife. After adding Eva’s preferred amount of half-and-half, I grabbed the handles of both mugs in one hand. Then I picked up the plate Monica had served me and headed out to the patio.
Eva glanced up at me as I set everything on the table beside her and took the seat on the other side. She’d left her hair down. Blond tendrils fluttered around her bare face as the breeze ruffled through it. I loved her this way, earthy and natural. Here and now, she was my own piece of heaven on earth.
Thank you, she mouthed, before snatching up a piece of bacon. She munched quickly while Victor said something I couldn’t hear.
“Eventually, I’ll focus on Crossroads,” she said, “which is Gideon’s charitable foundation. I hope to be active in that. And I’ve been thinking about maybe going back to school.”
My brows rose.
“I’d like to be a sounding board for Gideon,” she continued, looking straight at me. “Obviously, he’s managed well enough without me and he’s got a great team of advisors, but I’d like him to be able to talk shop with me and at least understand what he’s saying.”
I tapped my chest. I’ll teach you.
She blew me a kiss. “In the meantime, I’m going to be crazy busy trying to pull off a wedding in less than three weeks. I haven’t even picked out invitations yet! I know it’s going to be hard for some of the family to get time off. Could you send out an e-mail in the meantime? Just to get the ball rolling?”
Eva bit into the bacon while her father talked.
“We haven’t discussed it,” she replied, swallowing quickly, “but I’m not planning on inviting them. They lost the right to be part of my life when they disowned Mom. And it’s not like they’ve ever reached out to me, so I don’t think they’d care anyway.”
I looked across the span of sand to the water beyond it. I wasn’t interested in meeting Eva’s maternal grandparents, either. They’d rejected Monica for becoming pregnant with Eva out of wedlock. Anyone who found my wife’s existence distasteful was better off not crossing paths with me.
I listened to Eva’s side of the conversation for another few minutes, and then she said good-bye. When she set her phone on the table, she gave a big sigh that sounded like relief.
“Everything good?” I asked, studying her.
“Yeah, he’s better today.” She glanced inside the house. “You didn’t want to eat with the family?”
“Am I being antisocial?”
She smiled wryly. “Totally. I can’t hold it against you, though.”
I gave her an inquiring look.
“I realized I haven’t included your mother in the wedding planning,” she explained.
Settling deeper into the chair to conceal the stiffening of my spine, I told her, “You don’t have to.”
Her lips pursed. She reached for another piece of bacon, then handed it to me. True love.
“Eva.” I waited until she looked at me. “It’s your day. Don’t feel obligated to do anything but enjoy yourself. And have sex with me, which should fall under enjoying yourself.”
That brought her smile back. “It’s going to be wonderful no matter what.”
I voiced what was left unsaid. “But?”
“I don’t know.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and shrugged. “Thinking about my mom’s parents has me thinking about grandparents, and your mother is going to be our children’s grandmother. I don’t want that to be awkward.”
I bristled. The thought of my mother and a child I created with Eva together in any way filled me with a riot of emotions I couldn’t deal with now. “Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“Isn’t our wedding the place to start?”
“You don’t like my mother,” I snapped. “Don’t pretend you do for the sake of children who don’t exist yet.”
Eva jerked back slightly. She blinked at me, then reached for her coffee. “Did you try the waffles?”
Knowing it wasn’t in my wife’s nature to steer away from sensitive topics, I still let her do it. If we were going to get into the subject of my mother, we could do it later.
She set her mug down and tore off a piece of waffle with her fingers. She held it out to me. I took it for what it was: a peace offering.
Then I stood and took her hand, leading her out to the beach for a walk to clear my head.
“You’re welcome.”
Turning my head, I saw Cary grinning at me from where he lay on the sand a few feet away.
“I know you appreciate my packing that bikini,” he elaborated, jerking his chin toward Eva, who was standing thigh-deep in the water.
Her hair was damp and slicked back from her face. Oversize aviator sunglasses shielded her eyes from the sun as she threw a Frisbee back and forth with Martin and Lacey.
“Did you help her pick that out?” Monica asked, smiling from beneath an elegant wide-brim hat.
I’d watched her slather sunscreen all over Eva, a job I wanted for myself, but I didn’t press the point. Sometimes, Monica mothered Eva as if she were still a child. While my wife rolled her eyes at me, I could see that she basked in the attention. It was a very different relationship from the one I had with my own mother.
I couldn’t say that my mom didn’t love me, because she did. In her own way—within boundaries. Monica’s love, on the other hand, had no limits, something Eva found stifling at times.
Who could say which was better or worse? To be loved too much or too little?
God knew I loved Eva beyond all reason.
A sudden sea breeze snapped me out of it. Monica hung on to her hat as Cary turned his head toward her.
“I did,” Cary replied, rolling over onto his stomach. “She was looking at one-pieces and I had to intervene. That bikini was made for her.”
Yeah. Hell yeah. I had my arms crossed over my bent knees so I could take in my fill of her. She was wet and nearly naked, and I was hot for her.
As if she sensed we were talking about her, Eva crooked her finger at me, beckoning me to come to her. I nodded but waited for a few moments before rising from where I’d been sitting in the sand.
The chill of the water made me suck in a sharp breath, but I was grateful for it a moment later when she surged toward me and plastered herself against me. Her legs wrapped around my waist, her smiling mouth puckering into a heated kiss against my lips.
“You’re not bored, are you?” she asked.
Then she twisted in a way that sent us both tumbling into the water. I felt her hand cup my cock and give it a gentle squeeze. She wriggled away as I came up for air, laughing as she pulled her sunglasses off and tried to run onto the beach.
I caught her by the waist and took us both down, absorbing the fall onto the sand on my back. Her squeal of surprise was my reward, as was the feel of her cool, sleek body writhing against my own.
Turning, I pinned her down. My hair hung around my face, dripping water onto hers. She stuck her tongue out at me.
“The things I’d do to you if we didn’t have an audience,” I told her.
“We’re newlyweds. You can kiss me.”
Looking up, I saw all eyes on us.
I also spotted Ben Clancy and Angus closing in on a house two lots down. Even at this distance, the glint of light from the patio betrayed a camera’s lens.
I started to sit up, but Eva’s legs tangled with mine and held me down.
“Kiss me like you love me, ace,” she challenged. “I dare you.”
I remembered saying those words to her and how she’d kissed my breath away.
Lowering my head, I sealed my mouth over hers.