Chapter Nine

Adam

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When I walked into the gym and found Kevin waiting for me, the look on his face told me he’d heard about me blowing Katie off.

“You actually said no to sex in order to go get your drunk roommate?” Kevin asked in greeting as I came up to him.

I clutched my water bottle a little tighter and tried to keep my face neutral. “He was in trouble.”

“And you decided that was more important than getting some?”

“Look, I made a choice to help out a friend. I’d do the same for you.”

“I’d never cock-block you like that.”

“He didn’t cock-block me. He asked for help.”

“Are you sure?” he asked as we headed to the weight circuit.

“What?”

“Are you sure that’s all it was? Logan is gay, it’s no secret. Are you sure he needed help and he wasn’t trying to sabotage you?” Kevin stopped at the first machine and wiped it down.

“Where the hell is that coming from?”

“What?” Kevin game me a surprised look when I failed to keep my voice even. “It’s not like it’s impossible he’d have a thing for you.”

“Because he likes guys he automatically wants me? That’s fucked up.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time a gay guy tried to convert someone.” Kevin sat at the machine and shrugged as he gripped the arm pads.

“Dude, fuck off with that.” Thankfully I was being fueled by both anger and fear so I didn’t clam up and give away my secret. “Gay guys don’t try to convert anyone. That’s a load of bullshit.”

“Really? No gay guy has ever hit on you? They’ve hit on me.”

“Showing interest is not the same as trying to convert you. I’ve had plenty hit on me but none have ever pushed it when I wasn’t interested. You get a lot of gay guys pressuring you for sex?”

“Well no, but—”

“Exactly. You don’t hit on everything with tits so what makes us so special we’d have guys setting themselves up to be shot down over and over again?”

“Dude, it comes with the territory.” Kevin was halfway through his reps and was barely straining.

“What? Being ball players?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re being stupid. Logan is my friend and roommate. If he needs help then I’ll do what I can to help him. It doesn’t matter who he likes. It’s called being a decent fucking human being.”

“Why are you being so defensive?” Kevin finished his reps and looked up at me.

“Because this whole conversation is stupid.”

“Whatever, man. You’re up.” He stood and moved aside so I could sit down.

I was still fuming, but a part of me was also terrified that Kevin would see through my anger and put two and two together.

I didn’t know why I just couldn’t be honest with him and tell him I’d turned Katie down because I was into Logan, and that meant I was into guys and not just girls. I hated lying about Logan, talking about him as though he was just my roommate and I didn’t feel what I did for him, but I couldn’t get the words out.

Lying was only going to make coming out harder, but I just wasn’t ready.

“You need to add weight next time. That was way too easy on you.” I tried changing the subject as I gripped the arm pads.

“Yeah, it felt it. You’ll probably have to add too.”

I finished my first three reps and nodded. I was getting stronger and the weights felt lighter than they had the last time I’d done them. That was a good thing. Now I just had to prove myself when practices started next month and I could hopefully get my position back.

Kevin seemed to give up on our earlier conversation and started talking about nutrition and some new supplement one of the team trainers was looking into. I wasn’t a fan of the shakes, they all tasted like hot garbage and nothing like their supposed flavors, but they helped so I’d continue to force myself to choke them down.

* * * * *

I didn’t bother showering at the gym after our workout. I was a bit nervous about seeing Logan. We’d never talked about sex and I had no idea if he’d even want to fuck me. I’d done some research online and found that some guys didn’t top, the same as some didn’t bottom. There were even some who didn’t enjoy sex no matter which role they were playing.

I wanted Logan to fuck me, but the thought of getting to fuck him was also incredibly appealing. Since I had no idea what his preferences were I would have to figure out a way to ask. If sex wasn’t his thing then I’d be more than happy to continue doing what we were. As long as I could keep being with him I’d be happy.

“Hey.” Logan glanced up from the book he was reading as I walked into the apartment. “You look sweaty.”

“I was at the gym.” I tossed my bag on the loveseat and ran my hand through my hair. I’d worked out hard and knew I had to be more than a little ripe.

“No free showers?” he asked with a grin.

“There were, but I like ours better.”

His eyes raked up my body and I could see them darken as he checked out my chest and arms.

“You want some company?” he asked in a husky voice.

“Definitely.”

Logan stood and came to stand in front of me.

“I’m kinda gross,” I warned as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

“I kinda like it.”

“Really?” I grinned as he pressed his cheek against mine and breathed in.

“It reminds me how sweaty you get when we’re fucking around.”

“Yeah?” I shuddered as he licked the side of my neck.

“Oh yeah.”

His tongue moved up my cheek and over towards my mouth, and I moaned when he took his time teasing my lips with the tip of it instead of kissing me.

“Stop teasing and fucking kiss me already,” I groaned when he pulled away.

With a grin Logan leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine in a deep kiss. His tongue swept into my mouth for a moment and then he pulled back again.

“I want your ass naked and in that shower, now.”

I loved when he bossed me around. There was something so hot about doing exactly what he wanted me to, and I loved the deep, masculine tone his voice took on.

Grabbing his hand I pulled him toward the bathroom. When we got inside he turned on the water as I stripped off my clothes, my dick already hard and standing straight out in front of me.

I watched as he tested the water then stepped back so he could get naked as well.

“Fuck you’re hot.” I looked him up and down, my eyes lingering on his hard cock as I imagined how it might feel to have him inside me.

“I can definitely say the same about you, gym boy. Now get in so I can wrap my hand around that gorgeous cock of yours.”

I almost tripped in my haste to get under the spray. Logan came right in behind me and pulled me against him in a crushing kiss.

I could feel his cock rubbing against mine as he rolled his hips, and I gripped his perfect ass and squeezed. His hands were gently cupping my face, a stark contrast to the crushing kiss we were sharing.

After a moment he pulled away and turned me around so I was facing the water with my back pressed against his front. His cock nestled in the cleft of my ass and I sighed.

“You like that?” he asked in my ear as he gripped my cock in his strong hand.

“Yes,” I breathed and pushed back against him. He responded by shifting his hips so his cock slid through my crease, and I shuddered when it brushed over my hole.

“Tell me what you want, Adam.” His voice was gentle as he slowly stroked my dick.

“I want you to fuck me.” I swallowed and let my head fall back against his shoulder.

“You want to feel my cock in that tight, virgin ass?”

“God yes.”

“What else do you want?” His hand sped up and his other one wrapped around my stomach, pulling me flush against him.

“I want to fuck you.”

“I want that too.”

“Both?” I asked hopefully, then moaned as he squeezed my cock.

“Yes, both. I’m versatile. I like to get fucked as much as I like to fuck.”

“Oh god.” I closed my eyes and bit back another groan.

“Which do you want first?”

“You to fuck me.”

“Now?”

“Yes, please.”

He turned me around and gave me a deep kiss.

“Okay, let’s get you washed up and get started.”

He must have seen my pout because he grinned and gave me a soft kiss. “As much as I’d love to bend you over and take you right here, I’m not going to do that for your first time. I’m going to take it slow. Make it as good as I can for you.”

“God that sounds awesome.”

“Which one?” He chuckled and kissed me again.

“Both.”

“Well, we’ll try the other one at some point. Right now we’re doing this properly.”

He pulled away and handed me my loofa—yes, I was a loofa guy—and body wash. I tried to hurry up but he kept distracting me with kisses and gentle tugs on my dick, and I had a hard time concentrating.

When I was finally clean he took a moment under the spray and wiped down. Then he turned off the water.

As we stepped out of the bathtub I looked at him. “I have what we need in my room.”

“Why don’t you go get it and meet me at the couch?”

The couch? He wanted to fuck on the couch? It wasn’t that I was expecting it to be all romantic or anything, but the couch seemed like a weird place. Was he trying to put some emotional distance between us?

“Trust me, the couch will be best for your first time.” He leaned in and gave me a soft kiss. “It’ll make it easier on you.”

I decided to trust him and we quickly toweled off and headed out of the bathroom. I went to my room and grabbed a condom and some lube and then went to meet him at the couch.

While I’d been getting our supplies my dick had flagged and I was currently flying at half-mast. Logan still had a full erection, so at least I knew he was into it. I noticed he’d put a towel over the cushions of the couch. Good thing he thought of it since it wasn’t our couch to ruin.

He took the supplies from me and tossed them on one of the cushions, then he pulled me up against his body and kissed the side of my neck.

My dick instantly went hard again, and I gasped as his fingers slipped down the cleft of my ass and gently traced over my hole.

He didn’t try to push in, he just teased it as he kissed and nibbled at the tender skin under my ear.

“Fuck, Logan,” I moaned as his other hand moved between us so he could stroke my cock.

“It’s okay. Just relax and enjoy it,” he whispered in my ear as I went to grip his length in my hand. “This is about you. I’ll get more than enough when I’m inside you.”

Fucking hell, his words were almost as hot as what he was doing to my body.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but when he pulled away I had to bite my lip to stop myself from begging him to get on with it.

“Kneel on the cushions and put your hands on the back. That way you can control where I hit and how deep I go.” He gave me a sweet kiss and stepped back so I could turn around and kneel on the couch.

I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I didn’t feel nearly as exposed as I thought I would. I gripped the back of the couch and kept my body angled up, and he was right. I felt like I had some control over what was going to happen and wasn’t just kneeling there waiting to get fucked.

I heard the top of the lube bottle closing and glanced over my shoulder as Logan stepped up behind me.

“Just relax and let me take care of you.” He put one hand on my back and the other moved between us.

“God!” I gasped as his slippery fingers traced over my hole again.

“Bear down a little when you feel some pressure, it’ll help me slip inside you.”

I could feel him start to press down and breathed out, trying to force my body to relax as I did what he’d said. It felt strange and a little foreign, but there was no pain as he breached me, only a slight burning.

“Is this okay?” Logan asked gently, pausing.

“Yeah, it’s okay.” I nodded and turned so I was looking over the back of the couch. The burning sensation faded quickly, and then there was definite pressure as he started to push in further.

“Fuck, holy shit.” I squeezed my eyes closed when I felt his palm against my ass. It felt foreign and there was definite pain now. There was also a feeling of being stretched and a burning that went deep. It wasn’t horrible, but I hoped it would get better sooner rather than later. 

“Okay, I’m going to move. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

The first few strokes felt a little weird and I worried I’d have to stop him before we could get started, then his finger grazed over my prostate and my entire body lit up with pleasure as the pain and burning melted away.

“Fuck yes. Oh god, Logan!” I panted and pushed my body up, trying to force his finger to press down harder as he stroked me.

“God you’re so fucking sexy.” His voice was deep and husky, and I felt him slip another finger inside me. “So fucking hot, babe.”

“Move faster, please.” I knew I was begging but didn’t care. I needed more. “Oh fuck.”

It felt like I was on the verge of orgasm. My body was tight, my balls were aching and I was leaking like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t enough.

“Please, fuck me,” I begged. “I’m ready.”

Logan pulled his fingers out of me and I heard the crinkling of a condom wrapper and then the popping of the lube top.

“Lean down until I’m in. It’ll be easier on you.” His hand gently pushed down on my shoulder and I did as he said, resting my cheek on the back of the couch.

A moment later I felt the head of his cock pressing against me, and drew in a rasping breath. He was a lot bigger than his fingers, but he was pushing so gently I could feel my body stretching around him as he pushed in. There was pain and burning again, but he was being gentle enough it didn’t make me want to stop.

He took his time, moving inch by incredible inch until he was all the way inside me.

“Fuck, babe. You’re so fucking tight.” One of his hands ran up and down my spine as the other gripped my hip. “You ready to get fucked?”

“Yes. God yes.”

He pulled back until he was almost all the way out of me, then pushed back in. As he did the head of his dick ran over my prostate and it went from feeling good to almost unbearably perfect.

“Fuck! Yeah, like that.”

“So fucking sexy.” Logan’s tone was almost reverent as he began to move faster, his hand still stroking my skin in a comforting and strangely erotic way. “So hot.”

“God!”

I was panting and groaning like a porn star as he fucked me. I usually wasn’t very vocal during sex, but I’d never felt anything like this before and I couldn’t control it.

“Yes, harder baby!” I cried out as he slammed into me so hard his balls slapped against my skin.

Instinctively I pushed up so I could almost feel his chest against my back, his hand on my hip reminding me to arch my back so he wouldn’t slip out. I’d never been more thankful for having something to hold onto as I was at that moment. If the back of the couch hadn’t been there I would have fallen over.

“So hot.” Logan’s teeth grazed over the side of my neck as his hand moved from my back down to grip my cock. “You like getting your ass fucked?”

“I fucking love it.”

Now I definitely couldn’t control any of the sounds that were coming out of my mouth, and I didn’t care that I sounded like a total cockslut. All I could think about was how amazing it felt, and how close I was to coming.

“That’s it, baby. Come for me,” Logan whispered in my ear as he began to stroke my dick in time with his thrusts, and the dual sensation was enough to send me crashing over the edge.

“Fuck!”

I almost collapsed over the back of the couch as my orgasm burst out of my body. I was barely aware of him crying out and pulsing inside me as he came only seconds after I did. He continued to stroke into me through both of our orgasms, and when he finally stopped I felt like I was about to pass out from pleasure.

His hands gripped my hips as he held me against his pelvis for a moment, and then we both collapsed.

I gasped as I felt him slip out of me, but was grateful to be able to sit down. My legs were shaking and I was feeling a little lightheaded.

“Adam? Babe?”

Logan’s strong arms wrapped around me as he pulled me against his body. He felt so solid and warm, and I snapped out of whatever daze I’d been in and pulled in a deep breath.

“Holy fuck that was awesome.” I blinked and looked up at him. “Damn.”

Logan laughed and kissed my forehead. “Yes, it was.”

“I never knew anything could feel like that. If I had I’d have gotten myself a dildo years ago.”

“Now there’s something I’d like to see.” He leaned back so we were lying on the couch, but because we were both pretty big dudes I had to lay almost on top of him so we’d both fit. I didn’t mind, and he certainly didn’t seem like he did either.

“Have you ever used one?” I asked after a pause. The thought of him fucking himself with a dildo was pretty hot. I was right there with him in the wanting to see it pool.

“Yeah. I have one in my room.” He grinned up at me and ran his hand over my shoulder and around the back of my neck so he could pull me down for a kiss.

“Kinky,” I teased when we pulled apart.

“I can be.” He winked and in that moment I knew Logan was who I wanted to be with.

It wasn’t the sex, although that had been life-altering, it was the connection after.

I’d never been a cuddle and chit chat after sex person. I was usually hot, sweaty and satisfied, and would rather bask in the glow and get lost in my own head. With Logan I was hot, sweaty and satisfied, but I wanted to share the glow with him.

I craved his cuddles as much as his kisses, and I was in love with him.

The only problem was that I couldn’t tell him.

If I told him then I’d be putting myself out there to be hurt if he didn’t love me back. Even if he did there was that extra layer of confusion where I’d want to be boyfriends, but boyfriends didn’t keep their relationships secret.

In order to be with Logan I’d have to come out, and I’d already woven such a web of lies it would take some time for me to untangle everything. Then I’d have to actually come out, and I was scared.

I felt like a coward, but I was afraid of what would happen. I had one chance to get back on the team, and while I was sure that academically I was golden, there were the opinions of the coaches and players I’d have to deal with.

Baseball had been my dream since I was a kid, it was the only dream I’d ever had. If I fucked up this year then my entire future, and everything I’d ever put into baseball, not to mention what my parents and family had put into it, would have been a waste.

There was no doubt in my mind Logan was worth more than any game, and coming out and admitting I was in love with a guy might have absolutely no impact on my future, but I was having a hard time reconciling that because I was scared.

I had no idea what I was going to do. The only thing I knew for sure was I was in love with my roommate, and things were only going to get more complicated the harder I fell for him.