Connie rushed away, trying to hide her sadness but no such luck, one word halting her in her tracks. “Stop.”
Chad, her Alpha strode up behind her, his hand landing on her shoulder and pinning her in place as he walked around to face her. His eyes filled with distress as he looked down at her. Shit. She hated that everyone knew how unhappy she was and the fact that they were feeling sorry for her. She didn’t need their damn pity. She didn’t need any of them.
She tried to shrug off his hand but he tightened his grip, shaking his head. “Connie, don’t. I’m worried about you . . . talk to me.”
“I’m fine,” she ground out, her eyes flitting away as the lie slipped from her mouth.
“No, you’re not.” Chad shook his head. “I know you’re missing Cyndi, but she’s not that far away. You could go visit if you wanted to. Why don’t you call and ask?”
“No.” Connie shook her head. “They’ve got their own life and I’ve already been more times than is really necessary. I need to get used to her being gone, Alpha. I’m not a kid anymore and I need to just suck it up and stop being such a baby.”
Chad canted his head, his eyes widening slightly and a lock of his brown hair falling down over his brow adoringly. If she weren’t so upset she’d think how handsome he looked. “Really? And whose words are those? Because they’re certainly not yours. What asshole said that?”
Her lips tugged up involuntarily as she shrugged. “Does it matter? It’s the truth. I miss her but she’s got her own life now and I do need to move on.”
“She and you might not be blood sisters, Connie, but you might as well have been. It’s normal to feel like this so stop being so hard on yourself.” Chad gave her shoulder a squeeze. “It’ll take time but you’ll start to feel better, honey, I promise.”
“I know,” Connie whispered. “It’s just hard. Some days are worse than others and I hate the weekends.”
“What?” Chad smirked at her, his face a parody of mock horror. “Connie, I’m shocked! You don’t like the weekends? You used to live for them and going to Silvers.”
“Not any longer. Not when I can’t come home and tell her all about it.” She bit her bottom lip when tears threatened, determined not to cry in front of her Alpha. Shit, that was definitely not happening.
“You can still have fun without Cyndi. You just need to find a way to do that.” Chad sighed, finally releasing his hold on her. “It pains me that you’re hurting. Maybe you should have a talk with Karis? She’s better at this sort of thing than I am.”
“No,” Connie blurted out far too quickly, backing up. “I’ll be okay. I just need some more time. I promise.”
“If you’re sure, but remember that our door is always open if you do need to talk, Connie. At any time.” Chad gave her that look again. The one full of pity that caused her stomach to lurch with self-loathing and she turned tail and bolted.
She needed to get some distance between herself and him, and the whole damn Pack. She was suffocating and she couldn’t take it anymore. If she didn’t get out of the damn camp she was going to explode and she’d either burst into tears or punch someone in the face . . . both of which would be a total embarrassment to her and her parents.
Connie couldn’t bear any more upset. Not after everything else she’d gone through recently. Those words haunting her had dripped from the last lips she’d kissed and that was the most humiliating thing ever . . . no, it wasn’t. It was the fact that she’d allowed the asshole to kiss her in the first place. She was so lonely she’d ignored the fact he was an asshole. That was the sad truth and that was why she wasn’t going anywhere near Silvers anytime soon.
Damn it to hell and back again. She wished she had Cyndi to talk to about her epic fail. Her friend would have her laughing quickly enough and she’d soon be over it all. But no. She would not call her. She had to learn to stand on her own two feet for once, even if her heart ached and her soul yearned for her friend. Connie was angry at herself right this very minute, angry as hell, because she was so jealous of Cyndi. That was the truth of the matter. That was the reason she wasn’t calling her, because if she did then she’d hear the happiness in her voice, hear it clear as day and her petty envy would wriggle around inside her belly and make her feel sick and . . . “Stop it!” she yelled aloud, stamping her foot for good measure.
She didn’t begrudge Cyndi her happiness. No. She did not! She was just feeling down and lonely, that was all. After her last foray into the romance department ended so spectacularly bad it wasn’t unusual for her to be feeling this way. “Pick yourself up and dust yourself off,” she mumbled, padding through the forest slowly, kicking some wildflowers as she went.
“Good advice.”
Connie jumped, turning to find their Healer, Caitrìona, kneeling on the ground, collecting herbs. Her green eyes gazing up knowingly at her as she huffed a breath to blow some of her red hair that had fallen loose from her bun out of her eyes. Connie didn’t want to chat but didn’t want to upset the woman either. “Hi.”
“Hello to you too. I’m not sure, but I can always check and see if I’ve got a remedy for talking to yourself . . . if you’re interested.” Caitrìona smirked, her Scottish accent still there even though she’d been with the Pack for a long time. “If not, I’ve got a good ear if you need to talk.”
“I’m fine,” Connie blurted her stock answer.
“Aye, and I’m Tina Turner in her prime with a bevy of men running after her . . . oh wait, no I’m not.” Caitrìona shrugged. “You’re missing Cyndi and I’d hazard a guess you’re a wee bit jealous she has everything you want. Like a mate who adores the ground she walks on and a . . .”
“Shush, Caitrìona, I don’t need you to remind me of what Cyndi has.” Connie shook her head, trying to clear it of envious thoughts. “I’m happy for her. I am. It’s just that I seem to make stupid decisions when it comes to men and when I do it makes me realize how little I have and . . .”
Connie stopped. She had to because she was about to utter words that she’d never be able to take back and which would make her sound like a jealous shrew. Caitrìona, however, seemed to know exactly what she was going to say, and merely nodded. “I understand, Connie, I do. It’s not easy when others are ecstatically happy and you’re filled with emptiness and sadness . . . I know. It’s hard to smile when you want to cry. It’s even harder when you want to roar and scream, yet you can’t because everyone will think you’re just being stupid, or worse, think you’re jealous of a friend who’s found their own happiness. Trust me, Connie . . . I know. So don’t just walk away, sweetheart, don’t turn around, stop for a while and let’s see if I can help.”