Chapter 14

 

Honestly, Sam was so weak, but he couldn't really blame himself. How was he supposed to abandon this happy feeling he had as he spent time with Wyatt, the kids and the dogs? All while Wyatt's gorgeous baby blues were imploring him, seducing him. No one could resist that. No one was that strong.

So there was Sam, getting pulled into Wyatt's irresistible orbit again and going home with him. Maybe he should stop fighting it and just go wherever this happy feeling was leading him.

As the kids celebrated his decision, Sam offered to get his car and give them a ride home. "I'll run and come back here and pick you up."

"No need." Wyatt pointed to the right, where they could see the road on the other side of the clearing. "If we cut across that way and walk, we'll save some time. Who's up for a nighttime adventure?" he asked the boys.

The boys were up for it, of course, and the dogs loved sniffing at things along the way. The moon was shining and they could see well enough not to trip.

"It's so peaceful out here. I feel like I should be whispering," Wyatt said once they were away from the town and walking along the road with no cars on it.

What Sam noticed was how different it was to walk with Wyatt and the boys at night. It was fun and it gave him a good feeling. Being out at night by himself always felt so lonely and oppressive.

It reminded him of his biggest fear growing up, the boogieman of being cast out, having to live on the street. His cousins had taunted him about that. "You'll have to eat garbage and sleep in cardboard boxes, and rats will bite your face when you sleep. And you'll freeze to death when it gets cold. They'll find you frozen stiff on a park bench all blue with your tongue hanging out." Sam had so many nightmares about that, waking up in a cold sweat, stifling his crying, choking on every breath. That's when he first developed his terror of ending up on the street.

The noisy laughter of the boys brought Sam out of it and reminded him that he wasn't alone. Riley was laughing because Barney was trying to sniff a moth. DJ was telling the dogs to play nice with moths. Sam smiled. He was so far from alone right now especially with Wyatt by his side.

But his weird mood didn't go unnoticed. Wyatt was looking at Sam questioningly then he called out to DJ. "Hey, DJ, do you think I should hold Sam's hand so he isn't scared?"

Sam glanced over at him and wondered if Wyatt could tell what kinds of thoughts had preoccupied him a moment ago.

Meanwhile DJ looked from Wyatt to Sam and made his decision. "Sam is big. He won't get scared."

"I'll hold his hand," Riley said. Leading Barney on his leash, he ran over to Sam and took his hand.

"I won't be scared at all now," Sam told Riley, who looked up at him with his trusting, brown eyes and smiled.

"But Ry is too little," DJ complained like he thought his little brother wasn't up to the job.

"You might be right, DJ. I guess I better help," Wyatt said and he took Sam's other hand. After giving Sam a smile, he turned to DJ. "Now you help me not to be scared." He offered DJ his hand, and he took it.

"Now no one is scared," Riley said and Barney and Brownie barked as if they were agreeing.

Pretty soon though, the dogs wanted to sniff at things and the boys went with them. That left only Sam and Wyatt holding hands. Wyatt threaded his fingers through Sam's and told him, "Thanks for coming with us."

They were still holding hands as they went up the path to the Hayes' house. Wyatt unlocked the door and turned the lights on. Going inside ahead of everyone, the dogs went straight for their water dishes in the kitchen. The kids followed them stomping their feet noisily on the wooden floor.

"Let's steal a minute here," Wyatt said, grabbed Sam around the waist so he could give him a quick kiss. The brief press of their lips and the way Wyatt sighed left Sam smiling as they joined the kids and the dogs in the kitchen.

"We can make popcorn and watch movies," DJ said to Sam while looking up at him eagerly and bouncing excitedly on his toes.

"Do we have popcorn?" Wyatt wondered. "And anyway, you don't have time for a movie before you have to go to bed. Maybe an episode of something." He then looked at his phone, which sounded with a text. "Hey guys, Aunt Deb wants to FaceTime. We can introduce her to Sam."

"Me?" Sam said suddenly nervous.

The kids were happy though. Wyatt's aunt seemed nice as did her husband, and the whole thing wasn't as awkward as Sam feared. The kids and the dogs were the center of attention, and Sam could fade safely into the background.

 

Afterward the kids wanted to make plans, but Wyatt shook his head. "Look at the time, guys. It's your bedtime."

"Noooooo. We have to watch movies with Sam," Riley said, and DJ added his own pleading look.

"Don't worry about Sam. I'll watch movies with him," Wyatt said and gave Sam a wicked smile. "Now you boys go get ready for bed, and I'll tell you a story."

 

Once again Wyatt told the kids an off-the-wall bedtime story. This one was about Sam sitting on the riverbank, eating a sandwich, and fish jumping out of the river taking bites of his sandwich until there wasn't any left. Then Sam fell in the river. Of course he did.

Luckily, two fisher-boys and two dogs came by and fished him out of the river. They gave him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and he was happy. The end.

 

"Another weird bedtime story," Sam said as he and Wyatt went into the living room.

"What are you talking about? It was a hit," Wyatt claimed.

"Aha," Sam told him, but the kids did seem to like it.

"Now let's you and me get comfortable," Wyatt said and he pulled Sam down on the couch.

"Not too comfortable," Sam warned him. "The kids aren't even asleep yet."

Sam noticed that Wyatt's expression had turned serious before he said, "I'm wondering how to tell them about us."

"Us," Sam said, suddenly short of breath like that one single word knocked all the air out of him.

"There is an us, isn't there? I mean we're dating even if we haven't gone on an official date," Wyatt said while giving Sam a deep and searching look. "We should do that, by the way. Go on a real date."

Not giving himself a chance to think or second-guess himself, Sam nodded. The last thing he wanted was to miss the chance of experiencing a real date with Wyatt. Actually, he had never been on a real date. Thinking of that he started to get nervous.

"What worries you about telling the kids?" Sam asked to shift the focus away from his mounting anxiety and fear.

"I don't know what my brother or his wife told the kids about what it means to be gay. What if they told them it was wrong?" Wyatt's worried gaze met Sam's and he smiled. "The kids adore you, and I want them to know what's going on with us. I don't want to pretend that we're just friends because I want more than that," Wyatt said and he took Sam's hand.

"So how do you want to handle telling them?" Sam asked while Wyatt rubbed his thumb over the palm of his hand. A tingle ran up Sam's arm and took over his whole body, but he tried his best not to get distracted.

Wyatt gave Sam a crooked smile. "My usual way. Come right out with it. Whatever their parents might have told them, the boys don't have any kind of deep prejudices. They'll make up their own minds, and they'll make me proud. I'm sure of it." Wyatt then sobered a little and lowered his head. "But then I'm the same guy who thought Lloyd would stand by me, and that didn't turn out so well."

Sam gripped Wyatt's hand and pulled it tighter to him to get his full attention. "The boys love you. Nothing will turn them against you," Sam told him. About that at least, he was sure.

"I like how you believe in the power of love," Wyatt said and leaned over to kiss him.

Sam kissed back then remembered the kids and glanced toward the hallway. "Easy," he warned Wyatt. It wouldn't be the end of the world if the kids caught them kissing, but Sam wasn't sure how long he could keep himself from trying to rip Wyatt's clothes off, and that was something the kids shouldn't see.

"So cautious," Wyatt whispered in his ear and kissed his neck.

Cautious? That word sounded wrong. If Wyatt knew how Sam got sometimes, he would call him paranoid instead. Thinking of that Sam pulled back. Maybe Wyatt should know. "I wanted to tell you something. Remember how I warned you about my panic attacks?"

"Yes. Have you had any?" Wyatt asked and eyed him with concern.

"No," Sam said and he smiled. He wanted to give Wyatt credit for the fact that he hadn't had a single panic attack, not while he was awake anyway. Though it was talk about Wyatt that had nearly triggered an attack. "But I wanted to tell you about what happened when you came to the cafe that first time."

Wyatt frowned as he thought back. "You didn't look well. Was what I saw back then a panic attack?"

Sam nodded. "I was starting to have one then I saw it was you. Before that, I thought he might have come after me and found me."

"Who?" Wyatt asked and he looked so fierce like he was ready to fight Brian on the spot.

"His name is Brian McKinnon. I was involved with him. I lived with him my last two years of high school. I told you how my relatives didn't want me. My great-grandmother did, but she lived with her boyfriend and he hated me. He only tolerated me when my great-grandmother started to need help and he didn't want to take care of her himself. Once my great-grandmother went into a nursing home, her boyfriend kicked me out. I didn't have anywhere to go. Brian lived in the same neighborhood, and I got to know him. He took me in, but he also beat me. That's when I started having panic attacks a lot. I only had them once in a while before then. They started to get really bad after my great-grandmother died. I kept asking myself why I was even alive any more. The last person who cared about me was gone..."

"No. That's not true," Wyatt said breathlessly. He grabbed hold of Sam and wrapped him tightly in his arms. "Not the last person, not even close."

Wyatt held on to him and breathed raggedy like there was some danger that threatened to take Sam away even now. But Sam had never felt more secure than right at that moment. Then he felt the grief stirring inside him, and all the unshed tears welled up in his eyes.

In his tight, caring embrace, Sam broke. He started crying silently against Wyatt's shoulder. He cried so hard, he wasn't sure he knew how to stop, but eventually the tears subsided. He pulled back and looked into Wyatt's tearful eyes.

"I'm sorry. You just lost your brother. I shouldn't..."

Wyatt shook his head and didn't let him finish. He caressed Sam's face gently and kissed away his tears. "Your grief doesn't take anything away from mine. We can both cry."

"But I didn't mean to. I just never got to grieve for my great-grandmother properly. If he saw me crying, Brian would get furious and hit me." Sam remembered the empty numbness that filled him at those times, made it impossible for him to grieve. "Finally, a few months ago, I had enough. I left him, but back then I didn't go far enough. He caught me behind the restaurant where I worked and beat me unconscious. That's when I realized I had to go somewhere where he wouldn't find me."

"Did you report him to the cops?" Wyatt wanted to know.

"No. I was too afraid he would be out the next day and come after me again. I just wanted to get away. Eventually I ended up here."

"The best place in the world," Wyatt said and kissed Sam on the cheek.

"You weren't too crazy about it," Sam reminded him.

"Now I think it's perfect. Any place where you are safe and where I got to meet you is the perfect place," he said and he took both of Sam's hands in his and kissed them.

"I just wanted to tell you and maybe introduce myself. My name is Liam Samuel James. Nice to meet you," Sam said.

"Liam? You're using your middle name?" Wyatt said while he processed this new information.

"I figured there had to be quite a few guys named Sam James out there," Sam said. "And a change of name is sort of like a clean slate. Mrs. Del Rio knows my full name. She approved of me using Sam James."

"She's pretty great," Wyatt said, and Sam was glad that he noticed that since he was so fond of her.

"She is. The way I looked when I arrived in town, I was sure no one would hire me. But she hired me on the spot and vouched for me to Mr. Beatty, who rents out the room above the hardware store. She told him I was the grandson of an old friend. She's the best."

"Does that mean I should call you Liam, at least when we're alone?" Wyatt wondered.

"I'm kind of used to you calling me Sam. You can keep doing it," Sam said and he felt shy. He had revealed a lot to him, and he wasn't used to that.

Wyatt put an arm around him and pulled him close. "OK. Sam."

Sam had to admit he liked the sound of his name when Wyatt said it. Wyatt struck him as a man who didn't even know what fear was, the way he set out for another continent leaving his family behind, he was nothing like Sam, clinging to anyone who would give him shelter. But Wyatt still understood somehow and that warmed Sam's heart.