The bedroom door slammed shut behind us with a resounding bang. I pushed my elbows into Jaxxon’s pecs, clutching his face and pressing my lips to his. I never wanted to leave the haven of his mouth. His firm lips teased, he slipped the tip of his tongue through my open lips, as if tasting me, but never fastened his mouth to mine. I couldn’t get close enough to him.

Stalking to my bed with one big arm wrapped around me and holding my ass, he threaded the other through my hair. The fierceness of his grip anchored me to him, to the moment, and I needed it to slow down. I wanted to etch every second on my psyche.

He tilted my head to the side, at last plunging his tongue into my mouth, penetrating deep. I slipped my hands around the nape of his neck, clinging to him. On a groan, he climbed onto my bed and laid me down sideways across the center of the bed. Suspended above me, he kept his weight balanced on one forearm, and wedged his knee between my legs. He gently nudged it against my aching pussy with a pressure that made me throb harder. A quiver passed through my body, coalescing in the one spot I needed him most.

I ran my fingers through his clipped beard and stroked up along his stubbly cheek. “Jaxxon . . . ” I opened my eyes, wanting to memorize every expression on his chiseled face. The light from the windows reflected a hunger matching my own in his gaze. My breathing labored harder and I stared at his mouth, running a finger over his wet bottom lip.

He bent down, kissed me quick, before lifting up. Hovered above me, he left me wanting, left me needy, made me reach for him. He licked between my trembling lips, barely touching my tongue with the tip of his, and he stayed far enough away, keeping his eyes locked to mine.

“Relax.” Jaxx rolled toward the headboard, reached out and pulled me to him so my back pressed against his chest. He reclined against the iron frame, wrapping his arms around me while I sat between his legs. His husky voice moved like a caress over every inch of my skin as he spoke, “I know your limits.” With a finger under my chin, he tipped my face sideways up to his. “Light from the window’s enough. I want you comfortable, but I want to see your face, your skin, your wet pussy, after you’ve come so hard nothing else matters but having my cock inside you. I will touch you, all of you, so you’re gonna have to work with me.”

Jesus, God. The way he spoke to me. So . . . blunt. So open. But he didn’t leave me to wonder, to worry. He told me exactly what he intended to do . . . and to my utter shock, I wanted it. I throbbed with each seductive syllable out of his sinful mouth. He moved a hand down my stomach, over the fabric of his shirt that still covered me, to stroke right above my pubic bone. Right on top of the scars. The heat of his finger tracing light patterns was both unsettling and yet somehow . . . erotic.

No. Every muscle in my body tensed.

They’re heinous . . . remember Rick’s reaction . . . .

I dropped my hand on top of his. “They’re really . . . ” Disgusting. “ . . . bad.”

His lips skimmed the shell of my ear, but his touch never stopped. “Do you want this?”

“Yes.” I shook my head. “I want you, but—”

He kissed the top of my head. “ ‘I want you’ is good enough.” He dropped one hand to the hem of the shirt and began to lift. The moonlight dispersed throughout the room in streaks of light, not enough to see clearly, but enough to make out the darkened silhouette of his hand on my pale body.

I grabbed his hand with both of mine and squeezed. “You . . . you’ll feel them. All of them,” I warned, through a dry throat.

This heat, this desire, the want and excitement for not just this moment, but for the life he’d gifted me with, I didn’t want it to end. Not with his repulsion. I didn’t want to see him hide the pity or revulsion he’d feel after reality dawned on him. Not him. I would shatter. My heart that shouldn’t have been this involved would shatter.

“Valentina,” he spoke into my ear, his tone so deep, strong and confident, it bypassed the voice in my head. “Trust me.” Moving his hands out from under mine, he brought them up and strummed both thumbs right over my nipples through the shirt I wore. “Do you feel that?” He asked, sending a shudder bolting through me. With a tender, but firm touch, he rubbed over my tight peaks with the sides of his thumbs. “Listen to your body,” he whispered in my ear, sliding his tongue along the tender spot below it. “Stop fighting what you need.”

Trust . . . My chest rose faster with each stroke. Tentative, I settled back against his chest. I closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of all that muscle, all that strength surrounding me. He moved his hands up to caress the skin under the collar of my shirt and lifted the material away from my body. A loud rip echoed through my room and my eyes flew open. I jerked my head down to see a long tear in the shirt that stopped around my belly button—right above the scars.

I half spun toward him. “Your shirt!”

“Fuck the shirt.” He pulled my shoulders back to his chest and pushed his hands inside the torn material to cup my breasts.

The calluses on his fingers stimulated my skin, adding to the heat spiking through my lower abdomen. Both thumbs drew steady circles around my puckered areolas, each pass getting closer and closer to the center.

I dropped my head back to rest on his shoulder, my breath coming quick. He trailed his soft lips up and down the sensitive slope of my neck.

“Please . . . ”

His lips formed into as smirk against my skin. “Please, what?”

If he didn’t touch me soon—I arched away from his chest, my breasts filling his hands.

The erotic strokes continued to get closer to my aching nipples, but still he wouldn’t touch me. I squirmed about, but he kept just out of range.

“Ask me, sugar. Can you do that? Ask and I’ll give you what you need. I always will.”

I turned my head into his neck, my lips skimming his ear. “Please . . . touch me.”

He feathered his thumbs over my nipples so light it was more a soft brush. “Like that?”

I bit my lip hard. Not enough, but still so good. His hands were so large, they covered the entire area of my breasts. “Um, yeah.” I breathed and arched again. “Yes.” Harder, I needed him to squeeze harder—direct stimulation. I needed—I needed to feel him.

He covered the sinew between my neck and shoulder with his teeth, bit down hard enough to send a jolt of pleasure straight to my clit. “Oh—Jaxx . . . ” The bite shouldn’t have felt that good, but it allowed me to take in a full deep breath for the first time since he’d touched me.

“Tell me what you want.”

The authority, the order spoken so low, shifted some dark . . . thing I didn’t know existed inside me. My legs scissored. The ache between my legs grew stronger with every pass of his thumbs. “More,” I begged in a hoarse whisper.

Jaxx closed his lips over the pulsing vein in my neck and sucked the stinging skin into his mouth, at the same time he took both breasts in his hands and rolled my nipples between his fingers.

This time, I didn’t bite my lip as I whimpered and called out his name, and the evidence of my need saturated my panties.

“I don’t think my name’s ever sounded that sexy.”

“Please don’t stop,” I pleaded, so lost in a body-consuming bliss I couldn’t think straight. My breasts and nipples swelled under his ministrations and though he hadn’t touched between my legs, my clit throbbed for him.

His thumbs and index fingers rolled my nipples harder, right before he pinched them.

Over and over, he alternated between firm rolling and sharp pinching, my need growing with each tormenting stroke. “Yes!” I tilted my head back, reached a hand around the back of his head and pulled him down to me. Our lips collided and he drove his tongue into my open mouth.

Breaking away, he cupped my chin. His eyes locked on my mouth. “Don’t come. I haven’t even started.” His chest vibrated as a chuckle rolled through him. “You have beautiful tits, baby. So fucking sensitive.”

Words became my undoing. Every dirty word made me wetter. I fought not to fling myself around so he could take my nipples in his mouth—his warm, wet mouth.

I lifted up, but he dropped both hands to my hips and drew me tight against him. He slipped his fingers inside the top of my sweats, drawing soft lines along the skin underneath.

So lost in his touch, I let him maneuver my sweats and panties under my ass and down my thighs.

“I need those gone.”

I leaned forward and shoved them over down my calves, working them the rest of the way off with my feet.

He slid one hand between my thighs, moving up until three fingers covered my outer lips. The thick, intimidating length of his cock pressed against my lower back.

“Fuck,” he ground out. “You’re so damn wet, sugar, you’re perfect.”

Up and down, he stroked me until I began to pant. The friction of his fingers against my slick lips indirectly worked my clit and I reached both hands back into his hair. “I—I need you.” I turned my head up and took his lips as if I were dying and it was the last kiss I’d ever receive. Stroking my tongue over the seam of his lips, he opened immediately and sucked my greedy tongue into his mouth. He kept stroking my pussy, but brought the hand on my breast up around my throat to hold my face to his. I waited for the panic to kick in, but it never came. Instead, his firm hand at my throat calmed me. He broke from me to hover his lips above mine.

“You have the softest lips, full, so swollen.” Flattening out his hand on my cleft, he dipped his middle finger inside my entrance and groaned. “I always want you this wet for me.”

I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him down to me while I lifted my hips. Our mouths collided, our tongues tasting, exploring, and breaking away only to come back together, hungrier.

The hand at my throat tightened before sliding up into my hair. Wrapping it around his fist, he slanted my head to the side. “Show me,” he growled. “When you came, how did you imagine me touching you?”

I pulled away slowly and settled back against him, then lifted one leg over his, and the other over the opposite side. Reaching back up, I wrapped my arms around his neck and led his lips down to mine.

He stopped me before I reached him. “Mmm, I’ll take it from here.” He opened his knees, spreading mine wide, and lifted me higher up his chest.

My core was on full display, naked and open to him. Every muscle shook with need. I was like a puppet he maneuvered. Arousal trickled down my thighs. He covered my cleft with an open palm, just applying pressure. My head collapsed back against him on a long moan.

He slid his middle finger through my slippery lips to my opening, hooking the tip inside me, coating it with my juices. My channel contracted at the loss of his presence when he removed it. Gliding his finger up through my lips, he circled one around my clit.

“Breathe,” he said, as his lips lingered at the space between my neck and shoulder.

I lifted my hips to him.

“Soon enough.”

His words danced across my skin. I slammed my lips together to keep from begging for him to end my torment. My body wasn’t mine anymore. It was his. His to tease, his to touch, just . . . his.

With the slightest brush, his wet finger slid over my clit and I wrenched out of his hold. An arm around my chest anchored me back against him.

“Right there, I’m thinkin’.” He dropped the hand at my chest to the top of my cleft and split me open with two fingers, pulling the slippery skin of my lips back, exposing me more. The warm heat of his finger drew lazy circles on my clit, lifting me higher with each stroke.

His soft rumble against my neck pulsated through my chest. “I need to taste you.”

In one fluid motion, he lifted my legs up and spun me around to face him. “Lay back,” he ordered, and proceeded to crawl over me, forcing me to move back until my head was near the foot of the bed.

As soon as my back hit the mattress, he laid down between my legs. I pressed my knees against his hips to stop him, the hard length of his shaft teasing my aching core. “Jaxxon,” I gasped. “Wait—”

He moved to his knees between my legs and placed both hands under my thighs. “Sugar, we’re beyond waiting.” With a gentle pressure, he pushed my legs open more.

Now able to fit between my legs, he leaned down and kissed me hard. I grabbed at his face, clutching at him. Tilting my head, I sealed my mouth tighter to his. He licked at my tongue, my lips, before devouring my mouth. Lying between my legs, the long shaft of his cock pulsed against my core.

He rocked his hard length against me, and I cried out against his mouth. I wanted to feel him, not the material of his shorts.

Breaking the kiss, he held me by the nape of the neck and kissed his way across my cheek to my ear. “Move for me, baby.” Over and over, he rubbed his length against my clit until my body surged under him, up against him.

“Fuck. You’re gonna to feel so perfect—all that tight, wet heat choking my cock,” he hissed, before moving down my body with soft nips along the slope of my neck and down my chest, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Taking one swollen nipple between his lips, he moved his hands on top of my hips, caging me between him and the bed. The barrier embedded somewhere deep within me wouldn’t allow me to ask for what I needed. Not when—

A firm bite at my nipple snapped me back to him, and I stopped moving. When I glanced down, his intense eyes studied my face as he flicked at the stinging peak with his tongue.

“Stay here,” he ordered and sucked my nipple into his mouth. “Keep your eyes open.” He worked his way down my stomach, lingering at my belly button, jutting his tongue in and out of the sensitive indention. His big hands slid up my inner thighs and under my knees. He split my legs open wide enough to fit his shoulders between them. Running the tip of his tongue above my pubis, right below the hem of my shirt, he pulled my legs wider. When I inhaled and grabbed his shoulders, he leaned down and flicked his tongue right over my separated and sodden folds.

I dropped my hands and gripped the comforter. Jesus. It was a ghost of a touch, but it turned the kindling fire into an untamed blaze, lighting me up from the inside out. “Jaxx—”

Again, he licked over my cleft. “Eyes, sugar,” he snapped. When I focused on him, on his gorgeous face between my thighs, his amber eyes met mine. “I knew your pussy would taste this fucking good.” Sliding one hand around my thigh, he held me open with two fingers and sucked one of my swollen lips between his. “Warm sunshine and sex. I could eat you all night.”

Blood surged to my core, rushing so hard I felt my heartbeat in my clit. One after another, he took my most sensitive lips between his. He licked between them and sucked them both into his mouth, before gently biting down. I arched my back off the mattress, the pressure between my legs so intense.

“You’re so good, goddamn,” he mumbled against me. “I love the way you move.”

“Please!” I begged, knowing yet not knowing what exactly it was I needed from him.

As I lifted my head, he flicked his tongue directly over my clit, so soft the only reason I knew he’d done it was because my clit throbbed harder. The scent of my arousal mixed with the cool alpine traces of his soap permeating the air. Up and down, he changed from feather-light flicks to slow, firm strokes.

“Ohhh . . . God,” I pleaded. “Don’t stop.”

“Not a fuckin’ chance.”

The cadence of his words vibrated down my quivering body, and erased the last of whatever lingering inhibitions I’d been holding onto.

One finger played at my entrance. He slipped just the tip in and out of me in sync with the rhythm of his tongue.

I thrust my hips down, needing some part of him inside me. My mind shut off. Nothing else mattered but an acute burn of desire, I’d never before felt. “More . . . I need—more.”

Before the last word left out of my mouth, he slid his finger deep inside me and took my cleft into his mouth, sucking hard.

“Oh . . . Jesus, yes!”

As he stroked inside me, adding another finger, his tongue matched his movements against my clit. My thighs shook harder and he flattened out my legs with his forearms, holding me open to his erotic assault.

The need to come beat at me with every soft flick of the tip of his tongue. “I—I need.”

Rising above me a little, he licked my slit from the top to where his fingers worked inside me. “I know what you need.” He rubbed my G-spot a little harder and sucked my clit into his mouth at the same time.

One hard flick of his tongue, followed by a continual pulsating sucking, and my body detonated. My back flew off the bed and I thrust my hands into his hair, holding him to me as my white ceiling exploded into a colorful medley before me.

Sliding his fingers out, he wrapped both hands around my thighs and held me down as flames of pleasure singed my overheated body. Everything around me disappeared.

The breeze from outside cooled my hot skin as I gasped for air. My hips moved in time with his mouth as he brought me down. He licked me in the most sensual way, pressing his tongue flat against my clit and running a finger around my saturated opening.

When my breathing finally evened out, a whole different level of need built within me. The loss of his fingers left me feeling empty. Lost. Aching.

He lifted up.

I bolted into a sitting position, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head against his chest. The rapid pulse of his heart beat against my cheek. “Please, Jaxxon . . . ”

A sort of madness sparked through me. I needed skin on skin. I needed to feel his body inside mine. I shrugged out of the arms of his ripped shirt, the remains pooling at my waist. I gripped the edge of his shirt and shoved it up his chest.

With a chuckle, he lifted one hand behind his head and pulled it off from the back. As soon as it was gone, I wrapped my arms around his neck and yanked him down on top of me, shoving my hands into his thick hair.

“You’re phenomenal when you come, sugar.” He dropped a hard kiss on my mouth. “Goddamned gorgeous.”

Running my hands down his sides, I pushed at the elastic of his shorts. I got the material over his ass and he shoved his shorts and boxers the rest of the way down before kneeling between my legs. My brain and body were a complete frenzy, until I heard a crinkling sound and caught the reflection of a small foil square in his hand. “Jaxx . . . Um—”

“Yeah, baby,” he asked, tearing open the top of the condom.

I stared at it, not sure what to say, how to ask him if he was . . .

“Talk, sugar.”

“I—I’m allergic to latex—but I’m clean. I mean it’s been four years, and I’m checked every year, but I can’t get pregnant and—”

“Stop, hon.” He grinned down at me and threw the condom on the bed. “I got checked as soon as you ‘needed my body’ for that dinner party,” he teased. “I’m straight.” Leaning over me, he balanced on one hand, and ran a finger over my bottom lip, his eyes locked there. “Bareback will be better for you.” Taking his cock in his hand, he glided the rimmed tip through my slippery lips, up and over my sensitive clit. He was thick, so thick, and so . . . silky.

A pang of anxiety raced through me and I locked my fingers behind his neck.

Over and over he rubbed circles around me with the tip of his cock until that crazed hunger sparked back to life. I moved against him as he pressed against my entrance.

“Easy, baby. Breathe for me,” he coaxed as he rocked back and forth, letting me get used to the feel of him. He rocked the tip in and out in slow, shallow thrusts.

I inhaled sharp and inched backwards as he entered a little deeper. The girth of his head alone was so big my fear kicked in, and I grabbed the comforter so hard my fingers went numb.

He rested his weight on one hand and wrapped the other around the back of my head. “Gotta relax, sweetness,” he coaxed, pressing a little deeper.

“Jaxxon!” I slammed my hands against his chest as my insides stretched so far I was sure I was about to rip.

“Alright, baby.” His eyebrows knitted as he studied my face for a second, then nodded. “On you.” He pulled out, and the loss of him felt worse than the pain of his invasion. Kneeling on the bed, he shackled my wrists and yanked me up with him.

“Straddle me.” Lifting me up by the ass, he sat on the bed and pulled my thighs to rest on either side of him until we were chest to chest. “You’re so tight, this’ll be easier. You control it.”

With one hand under each of my ass cheeks, he lifted me up until my knees hit the mattress above him. “Take your time.” He angled his cock at my entrance and brought one of my hands down to take the place of his as he sucked one nipple into his mouth hard.

I jerked at the unexpected sensation, but lowered my hips down over him, taking the head of him inside me. I balanced my hands on his shoulders and dropped my hips a little lower, taking almost half of him before I stopped moving. My pleasure and pain signals got scrambled up. Somewhere in the paradox of his warm mouth wrapped around my oversensitive peak, and his cock stretching my channel so wide I could feel the veins of his shaft, I couldn’t stop, but couldn’t keep going.

Kissing his way to the other side, he flicked tongue against the opposite nipple. “Breathe, sugar. Go slow, the pain’s temporary.”

Jesus Christ. It wasn’t like I hadn’t had sex before, but Rick hadn’t been half the size of Jaxxon. A sharp burn seared my tender walls, the pain almost too much to endure. I lifted up and lowered back down a little farther, gasping on the way down and pulling up quick.

“Eyes, sugar,” he said, in a tone that pulled me out of my head. He licked his thumb and dropped it down to stroke my clit. “Don’t move.”

With him halfway inside me and his wet thumb on my clit, I closed my eyes.

“No. Valentina. With me,” he barked, before capturing my nipple between his teeth.

Something inside me responded on instinct to the steely edge of his tone. My body coated him from the inside and he circled my clit faster, sucked my nipple harder. “Oh, Jaxx . . . ” I dropped my head back and held onto his shoulders, the different sensations washing over me in three separate spots. My walls pulsed around him, as if pulling him in deeper. I needed to move.

“You’re so swollen,” he murmured, between licks and nips at my breast. “I want to suck your little clit all over again. I want your hands in my fucking hair holding my face between those beautiful thighs as I make you come so hard you forget your own motherfuckin’ name.”

The talking. His words. My undoing. The ache to take him deeper grew so intense so fast, I dropped down, taking him to the hilt. As soon as he was seated deep inside me, my channel burned and stung, and I cried out ready to lift off of him.

“Fuck!” He gripped my ass so hard I knew there’d be fingerprints in the morning. “Son of a bitch, baby. You okay?”

“No.” I gasped and began to lift off him.

He moved his hands to my shoulders, stopping me. “Hard part’s done, sugar. Give it a second.” He locked his hand around the nape of my neck and covered my lips with his, taking my groans and cries into his mouth. He thrust his tongue between my lips, kissing me so hard I clung to him and put everything I had into the kiss.

I thrust my tongue against his, moaning into his mouth. He bit my lower lip hard enough that I forgot about the pain of him inside me. The more he kissed me, the more the pressure between my legs lessened. I grabbed chunks of his hair and held him to me. He seduced my mouth with quick, soothing kisses before plunging his tongue deep.

My swollen channel pulsed around his cock to the point that staying still became uncomfortable. He dropped his hands to my hips and slowly lifted me off of him, his mouth never leaving mine. When he would have pulled out of me entirely, he stopped and guided me back down. A few more times, he lifted me and sat me down on top him.

“Move for me,” he muttered against my mouth. “Slow, baby, slow, but move.”

So full. I was stretched—so full of him. At some point, the pain turned to something . . . different. “Jaxxon—oh, oh . . . That—it—”

“Pain’s over,” he grumbled, leaning away from me enough so he could watch himself slide inside me. “Fuck. So goddamned hot.”

I slid my body up and down his length, trying to find a rhythm. The pain had become an ache, a pulsing—a dark need I didn’t know how to end.

“You’re so beautiful,” he ground out. “Goddamned amazing.”

My eyes met his and he began rubbing my clit again with his thumb. The more he played with me, the easier it became to move. I welcomed the contradicting pain and pleasure of him sliding inside me. I moved faster, his encouraging moans giving me the confidence to take him deeper each time. I’d never felt so . . . empowered.

Not broken.

Somewhere between the overwhelming fire raging where our bodies connected and the emotional vulnerability of having him inside me, I lost my rhythm.

His hands tightened on my ass. “Sugar, you good?”

I shook my head. “I—I can’t . . . ”

He tightened his grip. “Shhh, I got you, wrap your arms around my shoulders.”

I locked my arms around him so tight I hoped he could breathe, because I wasn’t about to let go. With his hands under me, he had total control of how I moved and he surged up into me. I buried my face against his neck and held on.

“Eyes, baby. Look at me.” Lifting me up and down, he guided my movements until I caught on to the pace he set, our faces inches apart.

“Tight, you’re so tight, baby. Fuck,” he said, right before he took my mouth.

On each thrust, the thick head of his cock slid against my G-spot. Each time he pulled out of me, the loss of his thickness left an empty sensation so consuming I began sitting down on him harder, just to feel the stretch of him again.

“Perfect,” he groaned against my mouth. “Your body’s made for mine.”

He hit that spot inside me as he thrust up into me hard. Somehow, he managed to hold me with one hand and wedge the other between us. With the first few strokes of his thumb over my bud, my entire body contracted around him. I locked my arms around his neck and bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out.

As soon as I came, he wrapped his hands around my back and took over the pace, thrusting up into me harder and faster, through my climax. With each contraction, my body sucked him in deeper.

“Christ, squeeze me tight, baby,” he panted and pushed up hard one last time. He buried his face against my neck and I clung to him as if he’d disappear. Warm streams of his climax only added to the euphoria consuming me as my spasming muscles milked every last ounce of his seed from him.

He rested his forehead against mine. I stayed in his lap, wrapped around him, until we could both breathe normal again. When I finally pulled away enough to see his face, he ran his fingers over my cheeks, before placing a soft kiss on my lips. “You okay?”

I nodded, unable to put voice to words. He’d flipped my safe, anesthetized world upside down in the matter of an hour.

His eyebrow furrowed and his eyes jumped back and forth between mine. “Baby, talk. Did I hurt you?”

“It was a good hurt.” I caressed a finger over his lips I couldn’t take my eyes off of. “You—you can’t be real,” I whispered, so overwhelmed by feeling, I was having trouble processing it—him—everything.

Next thing I knew, I was on my back with him leaning halfway over me, tucking my hair behind my ears. “You need me to prove how real I am, sugar? Now that I’ve had that tight pussy wrapped around me, you’re gonna have a hard time gettin’ rid of me.”

Get rid of him? That would be the fucking day!

Even though I ached in places I never knew existed, I felt those words between my thighs. “Don’t you—aren’t you tired?” I moved his hair out of his face.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” he mumbled against my neck. “Me and my cock.”

I closed my eyes and held him to me, memorizing the feel of his lips against my hot, damp skin. The slide of his hand around my breast. The nip of his teeth over my swollen nipple. As he proved that he was very much real, the scrunch of his ripped t-shirt fumbling around between us, reminding me my past would always be a barrier my present couldn’t breach.

What I felt for Jaxxon was beyond anything I’ve ever felt for a man before. There was no more I couldn’t fall in love with him—I’d already fallen. So now, it was a matter of damage control.

He may have proven I wasn’t sexually broken or abnormal, but no matter how good things were between us, I’d always be damaged. My selfishness was almost humiliating, because I knew I’d take and cherish whatever time I had with him. The truth was I had demons that even Jaxxon, with all his sexual mastery, all his thoughtfulness, and all his strength couldn’t kill.