ir•reP•A•RA•ble: adj. something that can never be how it was
I knock on the door. Duke’s mom answers. “Hi,” she says. Duke must’ve inherited some of her charm, because her smile makes me feel just as at ease as Duke’s.
“Hi. I’m supposed to meet Duke here.” I hold up my backpack. “Homework.” It’s the excuse I’m going to use with my mom when I get home as well—I haven’t asked her permission, but I really want to see him.
“Oh, Addie, he’s not home yet, but feel free to wait in his room.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Up in his room, I pull out a book and start reading. When I’m done with the chapter, I glance at the digital clock on his wall monitor. It’s been half an hour. I know I can’t stay much longer.
My phone is in my pocket and I fish it out and dial his number. On the floor between his bed and nightstand, the song that corresponds to my phone call starts playing. I sigh and reach down the crack, fishing out his singing phone. “Very helpful,” I mutter, and press End. “Where are you?” Guess I’ll have to leave him a message the old-fashioned way.
I move to Duke’s desk to get paper. In the middle drawer I dig through some pages to find a blank sheet. As I grab a piece, a group of stapled pages comes up with it. I pull it free and start to put it back, but a bright yellow mark catches my eye. It’s an alphabetized list of all the kids at school and their abilities. It looks like it was printed off the school computer. I find my name at the bottom of the page: Coleman, Addison. The word Clairvoyant next to my name is highlighted yellow.
That was the word I was directed to write on my registration papers when I signed up for high school. Clairvoyant. I remember my mom arguing with the dean, telling him that wasn’t my ability. It falls in the same class, he said, and our computers don’t recognize the term Divergence or whatever you said her ability is called. Here my mom sighed. She hates it when people act like I’m the only one in existence with this ability. My ability may be rare, but I’m not the only one.
It’s just a technicality anyway, he assured her, to make sure she gets put in the right classes for her tendencies. This isn’t her official government record. When she passes her ability markers, you can take up her title with the Bureau.
I will, my mother assured him. And she would.
In the meantime my school records show Clairvoyant. The word that is now bright yellow in front of me.
Duke’s phone chimes, causing me to jump. I look to where I had set it on his desk. It just takes the slightest movement of my hand across the screen to bring the text message up. It’s from Ray.
We’re meeting Thursday night @ Fat Jacks to talk about football game strategy. 7 o’clock.
I close the message and look back to the paper, a surge of anger working its way up my chest as the implications of this highlighted word sink into my mind.
The door behind me shuts, and I whirl around, the paper fluttering to the ground with my movement. “Duke, you scared me.”
He smiles. “You weren’t expecting me to walk into my room?”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just that I was about to go because my mom will be expecting me. You left your cell phone, so I was going to leave you a note.”
With those words his eyes move to the paper on the floor, and a look of panic flashes across his face, then is gone just as fast. It’s the only confirmation I need.
“You’re using me.” Anger stings my eyes.
“What? No. That’s not true.”
I point at the paper. “Then explain that?”
“Okay, maybe at first I thought you could help me out, tell me my future, which college I’d do the best at. But then I got to know you. It hasn’t been about that in a long time.”
Tears attempt to fill my eyes, but I push them down, frustrated by their presence. “Well, you should’ve done your homework better, because I can’t tell your future, only mine.”
“Exactly. See, don’t you think if I were using you, once I learned the exact nature of your ability I would’ve been gone?” He holds up his hands and takes a step toward me.
The edge of his desk presses into the backs of my legs. “I don’t know.”
“Of course you know, Addie.” He reaches me and runs his hands along my shoulders, then kisses my cheek. My suspicion starts to waver.
He takes my arms and wraps them around his waist. My anger melts to uncertainty as his hand moves softly down my hair. “Addie, I don’t need to be Clairvoyant to see you in my future. I want you there. I need you there. If you can’t trust me, Search it. You’ll see me there too.” He tucks a section of my hair behind my ear and then kisses my jawline.
“That’s not how it works. I can’t just Search my future.”
“I bet you could if you tried hard enough. And when you see me there, you’ll have to apologize for all this mistrust.”
I meet his eyes and when they’re full of sincerity I feel guilty. “I think I’m just waiting for reality to hit. I don’t understand why you’d want to be with me. We’re so different.”
“Different is good. Right? I wouldn’t want to date myself.” He kisses me softly. “I’m falling for you, Addie. Don’t break my heart.”
I lay my head against his chest, and he holds me tight. My eyes find the paper on the floor. The black letters of my ability stand out bold against their yellow background. He must sense my gaze, because he picks up the paper. “Look.” He drops it into the slotted recycle bin next to his desk. It sizzles as the solution disintegrates it. “Gone,” he says, and pulls me back against him.