This was weird.

Like ‘I couldn’t believe I was doing this’ weird.

I was in a new dress. Something nice, but not too fancy. Three-quarter sleeves. A neckline that almost showed a hint of my scar. It hugged my curves, and the royal blue color set off my eyes. It was probably the sexiest dress I’d ever owned, and one that I probably wouldn’t ever wear in the general public. We’d been told that we’d have a private room in the restaurant, which meant it was the perfect place to debut the dress. Here, I’d be seen by a lot of people for a short amount of time.

The people I’d be spending most of my time with weren’t ones I’d need to worry about if my dress shifted and revealed my scar. I didn’t know if Jenna had told Rylan about it, but he was married to her, and after what she’d been through, I doubted he’d even blink. Besides, the chances he’d be looking in the general direction of my scar were low anyway.

“Have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?” Jalen’s voice was low in my ear as he placed his hand on the small of my back.

“You have.” I smiled at him. “And you’re not so bad yourself.”

He was in a casual suit, one without a tie and the top button of his dress shirt was undone. This was the sort of place where the people who could afford to rent a private room also received discretion and the bending of some rules. Rules like the one that had every other man in the place wearing a tie.

The hostess gave us both the same polite smile, not lingering on one of us longer than the other, and when we followed her into the private room, she did the same for Jenna and Rylan. Her professionalism set the last of my nerves to rest, and I was smiling as I sat down at the table.

“This place is amazing,” I said as I looked around the sleek, black room.

The color should’ve made things dreary, but all of the surfaces gleamed, reflecting the soft light that came from the brass fixtures all around the room. The size worked for it too. Big enough to fit half a dozen people in it comfortably, but not so large that a small foursome like ours felt out-of-place. The music was soft

“A friend of mine owns it,” Rylan said. “But it deserves its stellar reputation. The food is amazing, and the staff is wonderful.”

“He’ll even have someone deliver it to us sometimes,” Jenna said. She laughed. “The kids prefer pizza though.”

“Do you have a regular sitter for them?” I asked.

Rylan chuckled. “It depends on who you ask.”

“We usually have Rylan’s sister, Suzette, stay with the kids, but sometimes we ask Zeke,” Jenna explained with a laugh. “He’s one of Rylan’s oldest friends, but it’s debatable whether or not he’s an entirely good influence on our kids.”

“Are you looking for someone?” Rylan asked as he leaned back to let the waiter fill his glass of wine. “I never asked if you had kids.”

“Just curious,” I quickly said. The last thing I needed was Jalen thinking I was hiding a kid or a pregnancy. “No kids.”

“Do you want–” Rylan jumped as if something had shocked him…or someone had kicked him. He gave Jenna a surprised look, and she raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t going to ask about kids,” he said. “I was just going to ask if they wanted something other than the Cabernet Sauvignon to drink.”

Jenna flushed. “Sorry.”

He laughed and leaned over to kiss her temple. “Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve kicked me for no reason.”

“I always have a reason,” she countered. “My reasons just aren’t always right.”

Rylan glanced at Jalen and me. “You two are my witnesses. She admitted that she’s not always right.”

I held up my hands. “I heard nothing.”

We all looked at Jalen, who shook his head. “Oh, no. I’m not getting involved in this. There’s no good answer.”

“It’s a good thing you’re not looking for a babysitter,” Rylan said, steering us back a bit. “I wouldn’t recommend Suzette to anyone with small children. She tried babysitting once when she was fifteen, and she hasn’t touched a kid since. Diana and Jeremiah are pretty much her only exceptions.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“Let’s just say it involved projectile vomiting and an attempt to flush her coat down the toilet.”

“Yikes,” I said as we all laughed.

I’d never really given much thought to having kids. I’d seen how hard being a single parent had been on Anton, and I knew he’d never regretted taking me in or resented me for a change in his life that he hadn’t asked for. I would never intentionally become a single parent. It might be great for other people, but I couldn’t handle it. Since I’d never let myself think about marriage, the kid question hadn’t really come up.

Besides, it wasn’t like I had the best example of a family to fall back on. I’d be worried I’d fuck a kid up if they had to rely on me for anything.

It really said something about Jenna’s strength and determination that she had two kids, especially since talking about the things they’d gone through would probably trigger memories of her own past. She and Rylan were amazing people, and for the first time in a long time, I liked the idea of having friends. Of having them for friends.

The conversation became little snippets here and there as we focused on our food.

I’d gotten the sea bass, and the first bite was divine. I didn’t eat fish often because I’d never learned to prepare it myself and I rarely wanted to trust a chef I didn’t know. Rylan’s and Jenna’s praise had prompted my order, and I was glad that I could give a positive report.

This was nice, being here with them. I didn’t need to worry about hiding my past or worrying that they’d see right through me. I could be myself. If I mentioned my father being in prison, it wouldn’t silence the room. I could talk about my mother without being afraid of the questions that would come. If they did ask questions, they wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t answer.

I felt the prick of tears and took a slow breath to steady myself. After everything that had gone on these past few weeks, my emotions were closer to the surface than they’d ever been. At least these would be good tears. I’d never had much occasion for those in my life.

Jalen put his hand on my knee and gave a gentle squeeze. When I looked at him, his expression was soft. “You okay?” It was barely a whisper, and I appreciated him trying to keep the question private.

“I’m great,” I said, giving him a smile.

“Jalen, I have a business-related question for you,” Rylan interrupted the moment.

“I thought we agreed no business tonight,” Jenna said.

“Just one question.” He gave Jenna an impossibly charming smile. “I promise it’ll only be one and then I’ll be good the rest of the night.”

“Doubtful,” she said. The love shining in her eyes took away any bite their banter might have had.

“Thanks.” Rylan turned to Jalen. “Do you have any experience with the latest software update for the Guardian security system? I’m thinking about upgrading Archer Enterprises, but I’ve heard some people say that it’s not all it’s promised to be.”

Jalen nodded. “I’ve heard that too. They wanted me to look at their specs before they went to market, but they refused to give me consultant credit because they didn’t want people thinking that my company was involved in the production.”

Jenna sighed and looked over at me, shaking her head. “We’ve lost them. Once he gets talking tech, it’s all over. I bet Jalen’s the same way.”

I didn’t tell her that I didn’t know Jalen well enough to know if that was his tendency or not. Maybe, in a few months, I’d be able to contribute something to the conversation. Right now, I just laughed and let myself enjoy the rest of the evening. The future would get here when it got here.