“Do you want to talk about your mom?” I asked Faith as she crawled under the covers in my bed. I tried to ignore the way the Nordic Lords shirt she wore barely skimmed passed her ass cheeks.
My hard dick told me I had failed. But I also knew that I couldn’t crawl into bed with Faith, wrap my arms around her, and let her feel that.
Talking about her mom was a sure way to get my erection to shrivel into nothing. She hadn’t spoken a word since we left the hospital, anyway. All she’d done was stare out the window of the truck with a glazed look in her pale blue eyes, watching as we passed evergreen after evergreen on the narrow, windy roads through town.
In the slight darkness, the room barely lit by one small lamp, I saw her shoulders move.
“It wasn’t anything I didn’t know before,” she said and draped her arm awkwardly over her eyes. “I just never wanted to admit it.”
While she wasn’t looking, I dropped my jeans and removed my shirt.
As I crawled into bed next to her, Faith dropped her arm and turned to me. I propped myself up on one elbow, laying on my side, so I was almost hovering over her.
“What changed tonight?” Something had. Faith had always sworn to protect her mom. Hell, she’d had sex for money in order to keep her mom alive.
Her breath hitched and she blinked. She rolled her lips between her teeth before releasing a shuddering breath. I itched to comfort her with my touch but forced myself to hold back.
“I don’t know,” she finally said, her voice barely audible above the whirring of the small and useless window air-conditioner unit. “But I saw her on that pavement, and I held her in the truck, and all I could think about were all the memories I have of my mom when she was such a complete bitch to me. I know there were some good times when I was kid, but for the last fifteen years I can’t think of a single nice thing she’s said to me or done for me.”
“But you love her…”
“Maybe not,” Faith said. “Maybe I just wanted to. Maybe I wanted to feel someone love me.”
With a small roll to her side, Faith faced me and slid her arm over my waist. My stomach tightened from the light contact of her glorious skin on mine. It was the first time she willingly touched me as she ran her fingers along the waistband on my boxers from my hip to my back.
The erection I was trying to keep under control took on a mind of its own.
“Faith,” I warned.
She shook her head. Her small fingertips pressed into my back. “Do you know what I realized while we were sitting in that waiting room?”
Her fingers continued their soft, insanely sexy assault on my skin. Fuck, I wanted her. I wanted to drag my fingers through her hair and kiss her until she forgot about every single man who had ever touched her beside me.
“I realized that in my entire life, the only people who had ever truly loved me were you and Liv.”
A frog jumped into my throat. And what kind of pussy did that make me? I couldn’t speak with her hands on my skin, teasing me, pleasing me, and yet the words speared my chest like a hot branding iron.
Straight to my mother fucking heart.
“I wanted you to kiss me tonight,” she said. I tried to focus on her words. All I could focus on was the way her lips moved when she spoke.
“I wanted to kiss you, tonight,” I said, leaning forward.
I couldn’t wait anymore. Faith was in my bed. It felt good.
It felt right. Despite the shit going on and the injuries she was still recovering from.
All I wanted—all I’d ever wanted—was this moment. I had lived for it as a kid, missed it for years, and wanted it more than ever as a man.
“Please don’t let me fall asleep tonight without giving me a happy memory, Ryker.” Her soft, sad voice broke through to my brain. I stared directly into her eyes and saw the fanatic need she had for something. Something good. “I really need something good to happen to me.”
And I wanted to give it to her.
Without hesitating, I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers. I felt her gasp against my lips right as my hand moved to the curve in her neck. I held her in place while I nipped at her lower lip, then her sides, teasing her with my tongue but not entering.
Her chest brushed against mine and a rumble escaped my throat. I could feel her already hardened nipples brush against me through the shirt she was wearing. My shirt.
My bed.
My arms.
Faith was in it all.
With her moving against me, her thigh brushing against my hard dick, I didn’t waste time rolling her to her back and removing her shirt. My hands slowly pushed it up and off of her, taking in every crevice, every dip of her skin that I hadn’t seen in far too long. I wanted all of it—all of her—to be so ingrained in my memory that I knew every inch of her even when I wasn’t looking at her.
I wanted to remember the dimples at the small of her back. The two small birthmarks she had on the outside of her left breast. And when I saw them, I dipped my head, flicked my tongue against them, and licked them.
“Ryker.” Her hands dug into my scalp. She arched into me.
I nuzzled against her skin until I was at her chest, her pink nipples screaming, “suck me and lick me, now.” Her nipples and I spoke the same language because there was nothing I wanted more, either.
“You sure about this?” I asked. I could slow down. I would stop if she wanted, despite every nerve in my body shouting Take her! Claim her! She’s yours! She always has been!
Her head tipped back as I pulled her nipple into my mouth.
“God, yes,” she moaned.
I wouldn’t turn back. She tasted perfect. My hands worshipped her skin. My mouth made love to her body.
I wanted every inch of her body inside of me. In equal measure, I wanted every inch of me to be so deeply ingrained in her so that she would never forget me.
I wanted to erase every man that had been inside her in the last five years.
I leaned off her, one hand brushing her hair away from cheeks while my other hand glided across her skin and down to her pussy. She was wet and hot. I felt her pulsing against my fingers as I played with her slowly.
“You want me?” I asked her, brushing my lips against her swollen ones. I kissed every inch of her face while she hummed beneath me; my fingers gentle playing with her clit, rolling it, teasing her.
With a dazed expression, her eyelids fluttered as she writhed against my hands.
“Need more,” she moaned and pressed into me.
I smiled and shook my head. “Do you want me, Faith?”
I knew she did. I wanted to make sure she knew it was me doing this to her.
“Ryker,” she warned me. Her breath panted out my name as if she was starved. I hoped she was fucking starved for me like I was for her. Her next words sliced my chest open. “I’ve always wanted you.”
My mouth covered hers as I kissed her. It was hot and wet and I continued kissing her as my fingers pressed inside her hot sex. She groaned into my mouth and the sound went straight into my mouth and down to my dick.
Her hands fumbled at the edges of my boxers until she pushed them passed my hips, freeing my hard dick. It throbbed in her palm when she wrapped her chilled fingers around me.
“Jesus,” I hissed as she began working me from base to tip. I almost came in her hand when she began gripping my balls, pulling and massaging them with perfect finesse.
“Now, Ryker,” Faith whispered against the sweat lining my neck. “I need you, now. Please.”
Shudders rocked my body. My shoulders shook and the muscles in my back tensed. I wanted her. God, I fucking wanted her.
I had always loved her.
A part of me was too afraid we would fuck this up. That this was too soon.
But the part of me that was still rocking into Faith’s hands as she jacked me off like she used to do when we were kids… that part wanted to sink in to her, to have her screaming my name until every damn person in the clubhouse knew what we were fucking doing.
First, I wanted to see her come apart beneath me.
My fingers pressed into her pussy, my thumb pressed against her clit, and my lips clamped down on her nipples. Her whole body shook with pleasure.
“Let go, Faith.” I whispered it while keeping my eyes on her. My lips alternated between playing with both of her nipples, licking her breasts, and trying to soak in every taste of her I could.
She tensed for one brief second, but I saw it.
I saw the fear light up in her eyes that she had done this with men and had enjoyed it.
“It’s me, babe. You love me. Come for me.”
Her eyes flashed with something. But fuck me, it was there. That sparkle I had wanted to see so badly. Her eyes brightened right as her pussy began convulsing around my fingers. She screamed my name as I rode out her orgasm.
And when she was done, when I removed my fingers from her before I spread her thighs and sunk in between them, I fucking felt it.
Love. Forgiveness. Redemption.
I had it all. I had everything I wanted in the bed with me and surrounding the walls of my room.
I had Faith.
“That was amazing,” she panted. Tears fell from her eyes and a smile graced her lips.
I kissed away her tears right as I pressed my dick against her.
“It will always be amazing,” I whispered against her ear.
She tightened around my dick as I pushed inside. And fucking shit. Phenomenal.
I had wasted years having sex to chase away the memories in my head of my fuck-ups, of my regret.
Nothing had ever felt this good.
“Fuck,” I breathed out against Faith’s collarbone.
Her hands went to my ass and pressed me harder into her. I couldn’t move. I was two seconds away from blowing my load like I did the first time we had sex. I needed to feel her warmth for a minute.
“Fucking… Jesus, Faith. What are you fucking doing to me?” I brushed away her sweaty hair and stared directly into her eyes.
They lit up.
“The same thing you do to me.” I saw the truth in her whispered response.
My hips rocked harder and she gasped. I rolled my hips and pulled out, memorizing the perfect feel of her.
“It’s always been you,” I told her right as I rocked back into her. My control was wound tight. I wanted to pound into her and release the tension that had built up in me for weeks every time I looked at her.
She moaned and arched into me. I lowered my chest to hers, craving the feel of her skin brushing against mine. I rocked into her again, swiveling my hips. Her legs came up and wrapped around my waist as we made love.
I was making love to Faith.
Holy shit.
Her sweaty hands slipped from my ass as I continued plunging into her, taking everything from her that she would give me and giving her everything I could without shouting the words out loud.
But I saw it. As we moved together, I saw the same dazed and shocked expression in her eyes as I knew she had seen in mine.
Our eyes stayed connected. Every part of us, every inch of us, stayed connected until she pulsed around my dick.
She shouted my name as she came again and I buried myself so far inside of her I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to dig my way out.
Her name fell from my lips as my head fell into the crook of her neck. I collapsed on top of her, our sweat and breaths mixing together and swirling around us.
I never wanted to leave.