CHAPTER NINE

“What kind of sister are you if you won’t help me?” – Rita Maddox

 

 

 

Ruby woke thinking of Sebastian.

Missing him.

Over the first coffee of the day she let her mind allow Preacher in for five minutes. Any longer than that and she wouldn’t get anything done today and she already had a long list going. Hunched over the kitchen counter, chewing on the end of a pen she underlined ‘find a fucking job asap’ three times. Surely that would help. If not she could revisit a second chat with God, as yet, no miracles had happened, she figured he was busy with world domination from whatshisname.

And If all that didn’t have a significant and fast impact, then she knew a good street corner to stand on. Really, it was perfect, it got the sun in the morning and shade in the afternoon, any decent hooker worth her fake Louboutin’s would appreciate that prime real estate.

Just kidding. Maybe. It was an option. She had great blowjob skills, so her last boyfriend would tell her, but then he was a cheating asshole, so his opinion couldn’t really be taken seriously.

Ruby wasn’t ten minutes into her cleaning routine, keeping her shithole of an apartment spotless, elbow deep in a mountain of old Vogue magazines, her attachment was real, but they were taking up space and needed recycling when the phone rang.

The thing about being broke as a fucking nun was that her belly dropped at first, it could be the bank to say she was overdrawn, maybe the power company letting her know she was late again with the payment, it was only thanks to her mom’s debts she’d never succumbed to a credit card, because they’d be on her back twenty-four seven wanting payment. If things continued to go as they were she was seriously thinking of applying for one.

Last resort. Right after hooking on a street corner.

“Sis. I need some extra this month, the damn pig of an ugly landlord has hiked up the fucking rent like he thinks I’m made of money.”

And that was how Rita started all her conversations. I want. I need. No, how are you, sis. What's going on with you, sis? Nope, always with need and want first and foremost. Ruby sighed, plonked herself down on the coffee table. This phone call wouldn’t last long, they never did, but it would wear her out.

“Hey, Rita. I’m great, thanks for asking, how are you, found a job yet?” Short answer; no. Of course, she hadn’t. Rita believed in welfare and sitting on her lazy ass all day long puffing and snorting anything and everything. Why would she want to work and contribute to life when the state and the bank of Ruby would always bail her out. Rita had it damn good.

Phone calls with her sister continuously left Ruby with a slick greasy unease in her belly, she tensed and the beginning of a headache began to brew in her skull. She knew what she wanted to say to her sister; get the fuck off your own ass and take care of your own damn self. But she knew she wouldn’t.

Sibling guilt gnawed at her. Rita was the baby of the family at twenty-five, had never held a job for longer than two months, even then she bitched the entire time. Both sisters had been dealt the shitty hand with parents, they were the type of people who should never have been allowed to breed, ever. But there came a time you had to stop blaming everything on a dysfunctional upbringing and make the most for yourself. Ruby had. No matter what she persisted.

Even her brother Jamie had, to a certain extent. He wasn’t bitching in a corner and expecting handouts that was for sure, what her brother did was more than likely extremely illegal, but still, he didn’t blame their perpetual jailbird dad for every little thing that went wrong.

Rita, however … the women shared a mother, god knows who Rita’s father was, Ruby had never been able to get it from her mother, and when she’d died of an overdose going through her personal effects, which were sadly meager, she hadn’t unearthed any clue as to who he was. From the number of men that came and went through their house it could have been anyone.

Rita had been the small brunette kid, much lighter skin in complexion to Ruby, with blue eyes. Ruby the dark skinned frizzy haired tall kid. And then if you added in Jamie who was tall, black hair and a natural tan, the three of them together looked like they were the Addams family with Ruby always in the middle of the two since Jamie couldn’t stand Rita and vice versa. Lucky for her she supposed they had nothing to do with each other, what with not sharing any parents, they only had Ruby in common. To Ruby, they were her only family, fucked up, dysfunctional, criminally minded family.

But god, they wore her down.

Her fingers rubbed over her forehead.

“Jesus, didn’t you hear me? He wants extra fucking rent this week. What am I meant to do? You know I’m good for it, Rube.”

Ruby snorted and rolled her eyes. She’d never seen one penny of the money she’d given her sister over the years. That was the state of their sibling relationship. Ruby gave most and Rita expected all.

“Is it for rent?” She felt herself relent on her stance to not dish her any more money this month, not that she even could, but if it truly was for rent, then maybe she could sell something. “You said that last month and when I called the dickhead said you were out buying weed.”

“Don’t call him that! You know he’s trying to be better.”

“Rita, if Dwayne was trying then why isn’t he paying the rent? He lives there. Why isn’t he buying groceries? He doesn’t even have a job.”

“Look I didn’t ring for a fucking lecture. Goddammit, Ruby, can’t you just be a normal sister for once? We all can’t be a perfect saint as you, can we?”

“He doesn’t need to be perfect, he just needs to contribute instead of expecting handouts.”

“He’s really trying this time, he promised, sis.”

Sure. Right. Hey look, flying bacon.

“Why don’t you move back here, Rita? You can live with me until you’re on your feet again.” Ruby was thinking of the money she’d save. She had no desire to live with her sister and she felt some self-reproach over that thought, but if only she could get Rita out here again everything would be okay, she could help her get clean, she’d be away from that deadbeat drug addict boyfriend at least, who was half of the problem.

“No way we like it in Greenwood, you know Dwayne has his family here and there’s talk of his cousin hiring him soon. Nice of them, right? We had dinner with his cousins the other night, real swank place, sis.” Right. Of course. Pigs would fly first before that waste of air got a job.  Ruby was close to bursting out laughing, but that would only piss her sister off.

“How is---”

“So, about the money?” She interrupted. “I need it, Rube. Like for real, do you want me to be thrown out?”

“Why can’t you go and live with Dwayne’s family, if they’re such great people?”

“Fucks sake! Why do you have to be like this? No wonder we don’t come to see you, Ruby. You just sound bitter now, you need your own life, really you do, instead of trying to run mine all the time.”

“Trying to run your life? Are you fucking kidding with that bullshit? I don’t hear from you until you want something. Well, I’m sick of it. The bank of Ruby is closed.”

Fuming, feeling it rattle through her brain as she’d listened to the impudence of her sister to dare sound annoyed for what, Ruby not opening her wallet and making the money walk to her? Goddamn entitled people made her sick, blood-related or not. She was done.

Ruby was busting her ass trying to find a second job to support her SISTER and the sister in question was standing with her thumb up her own ass just waiting for handouts.

Enough.

Enough now.

“You know I need help.” Rita changed her tactic instantly and here came the sickly whine Ruby always fell for because she hated that Rita had basically been raised with no motherly love at all.

“Yes, you do. I agree. Get into a program. I can take---”

“I told you no! God's sake, you never quit, do you? I’m so fucking sick of this. All I want is a real sister.”

“You want a bank, you mean. You want a never-ending money tree. I am your sister, always have been, Rita. I raised you as best as I could and you’re never satisfied, never once do you say thank you, or please, or sorry. It's all want-want-want with you.  I have my own problems you know, my own bills, how am I meant to pay my own and look after you at the same time?”

“Ruby… please.”

“I’ve offered you a solution, you can live here with me and I’ll give you all the support I can. It’s up to you if you take that help.  But I can’t send any more money this month, Rita. It’s impossible.  I can’t give what I don’t have.”

“That’s bullshit!” Here came the nasty. “You have savings! You are little miss do-right, you always were. You’d even save your pocket money from that golden boy brother of yours when we were kids. Oh no, Ruby can’t spend it on candy, she had to put it away."

“And you always stole it.” Ruby reminded her quietly. She’d been jealous of Jamie even then when he was no more than a teenager himself.

He’d liked Ruby then. On certain days, she missed her brother.  Her belly clenched with pain and hunger, reminding her she hadn’t eaten since yesterday.

Times had changed drastically once their father went to jail this last time and Jamie had taken over for him, they barely talked anymore. He'd had the chance of his own life, instead decided to wear their father's criminal shoes on for size. From the little amount of information, she had heard he was doing well at it.

“You never let me forget it. We were kids.”

“Stealing is stealing. Can I talk to---”

“No, you can’t. I gotta go, Dwayne is home. If you can send that money, Ruby, send a text, don’t call, you know how it annoys Dwayne if he’s sleeping.”

Fuck you, Dwayne.

“I’m not sending money. My offer is there. Please consider it. We can make things better, but you have to meet me halfway, please for-----”

Her sister wasn’t about waiting when she couldn’t get her own way, and she interrupted again. “I have to go. Please, we need it, Rube. You don’t want us kicked out do you?” It was as though Ruby hadn’t even spoken. She sighed hearing their call disconnect.

The call lasted less than five minutes and Ruby was sick with it and mad at the same time. When would her sister grow up? She was in permanent Peter Pan syndrome, and that just didn’t work for life.

One of the crappiest soul-destroying things had happened to Ruby last year and any normal sister would have turned their sibling for help. Ruby hadn’t confided in anyone, Rita would have just told her to get over it. Real compassionate. Instead, she’d gone home, locked herself in her apartment for three days, licked her wounds, mentally rallied herself and re-joined life because bills had needed paying and she wasn’t letting one insane psychopath ruin her existence. Evil shit happened to people who didn't deserve it.

She’d chosen to dust herself down persist rather than flounder in self-pity.

She would respect Rita a hell of a lot more if she’d only dust herself once in a while.

No-one was perfect, it was how you dealt with problems that warranted what kind of character you had. Sink or swim, Ruby had her arm bands on.

Guilt troubled her. Would Rita get kicked out for real if she didn’t have more money? She was sure it was drugs money, Rita never thought logically about the things that mattered, rather than her recreational habits became a priority.

Her life was one giant clusterfuck of crazy, she was the epicenter, and no matter what she did to outrun her own personally designed hurricane there it was sweeping her off to Oz.

It was tiring, fucking annoying.

And she didn’t know how to avoid it or the guilt factor of one in the name of Rita. She pressed Ruby’s buttons.

With no plan B, she was barely skating by on plan A and that had gone on for months now. She’d be lucky to eat this month, as it was she was sneaking food at work, and that would get her fired if Otis found out.

Love was a bitch because it shackled you as hard as steel cuffs, leaving you gasping and hollow for any connection. Caught in that family self-condemnation simply because of the blood tie The love in her family was one-way traffic, nothing came back her way, it was depressing, hurtful, just once she wanted to be someone’s priority, fucking ached for it sometimes. She wanted to not be the person who had all the answers to everything, exhausting.

She should tell Rita no and mean it.

And yet still, she agonized about it all day while she applied for jobs, smiled at prospective bosses as she handed over resumes and informed them as articulately spoken as she could just how hardworking she was and so looking forward to working for them, god in heaven, all the fake smiling for jobs she absolutely was not looking forward to having, her cheek muscles hurt, she even dropped off a resume at the gross Tiki bar across town where the waitresses wore panties, a bralette, and a bowtie. Ugh. she really hoped she didn’t get considered for it, talk about losing what little pride she had left. Shaking her ass in public for grubby pawing hands to grab, she might as well be swinging on a pole for more bucks.

By the end of the day Ruby knew several things;

She was fucking exhausted and her feet hurt.

Pole dancing was now on her job prospects list.

God still wasn’t picking up his phone.

And she was going to that Renegade Souls party.

And getting laid.

Preacher man didn’t know just what kind of frustration she was about to abuse on his massive body.