Khiva’s eyelids flicked open, his blurry gaze blinking against the bright light streaming in through the windows of their dwelling. The light was too bright for it to be morning and he already knew that he’d slept most of the day away.

Vauk, he’d meant to be up early so he could return to the mines. He’d already taken five days off.

Blowing out a breath, he rose from their bed, noting that his female was not beside him, though he heard sounds from the main living area and smelled the scent of cooked meat and spices.

He was starving. He hadn’t eaten since the night before he’d left and he hadn’t eaten as much as usual, considering what his female had revealed to him at that meal.

On tired legs, he walked out of the room to find his female. His mind felt foggy from the deep sleep he’d been under and when he looked at the shade of blue on the Dumerian clock, he realized he’d slept a full day. It was nearing the evening already.

Evelyn was grilling slices of bakbak root over the grill in their kitchen, the smoke rising through the vent in the ceiling. She stood with her back to him but turned when she heard his footsteps.

“Hello,” she said softly, her eyes darting back and forth between his, no doubt trying to read his mood. She approached him and he wrapped an arm around her lower back, pressing his forehead against hers as he embraced her.

“I did not realize I would sleep so long,” he told her. “I meant to go to the mines this morning.”

“No, Khiva,” Eve said, frowning. “I wouldn’t have let you anyways. You needed to rest.”

“I did,” he admitted. “I have not slept much, since I have been gone.”

Eve’s eyes lowered and she pulled her forehead away, reaching up instead to cup his jaw. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Sleep does not make the grief better,” he said softly, “but I do feel rested. More myself.”

“Good,” she said softly, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Food will help too.”

His eyes slid over to the low table just past their kitchen and he saw that it was covered in food.

His chest tightened with affection, knowing that his female had probably been cooking all morning and afternoon. He’d told her early on that he never expected her to cook for him, given how much food he required, but she seemed to take pride in it, saying that she liked cooking big meals since she’d been on her own for so long. She liked having someone to cook for.

“Thank you, leeldra,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion.

“You’re welcome,” she said, giving him a soft smile that made his hearts speed up. “Go sit down and get started. You must be hungry.”

Khiva did as she requested as she grilled up the last of the roots, before bringing them over. Khiva was already deep into his second serving when she finally sat down next to him.

It was one of their quieter meals and while the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, Khiva knew they needed to have a long overdue conversation. He had much he needed to apologize for.

And once Evelyn was finished eating and he’d polished off whatever remained on the table, he turned to her.

Except, she cut him off before he could get a word out.

“It can wait,” his female said, reaching forward to squeeze his forearm. “You’ve been through a lot the last few days, Khiva. We do not need to do this now.”

He shook his head. “There is much I have to be regretful over. About that night.”

“Khiva—”

“I hurt you,” he said softly, his chest tightening at the knowledge. “I disappointed you. And then I left, when I should have stayed.”

Evelyn shook her head, her eyes softening, “Khiva…”

“I hurt my female, who is the last being in this entire universe that I want to hurt. And I did it knowingly. Leeldra, I am sorry.”

“You’re already forgiven,” she said immediately, frowning. “Khiva…that night, I was being selfish. I realized that last night. I didn’t want you to go, but how could I have asked that of you? You’ve been looking for them, for so long. They were your family. How could I be angry that you were within days of the truth? How could I have asked you to give that up? For that, I am sorry.”

“It still does not excuse my behavior for that night,” Khiva said softly. “The way I reacted when you told me you were carrying our child. You gave me a great honor, an honor I thought might never come to pass, and I…” He swallowed hard. “I regret my words most of all. I could not stop thinking about the hurt on your face and every moment that I was away from you made me restless.”

“I understand that it was a shock,” she said. “I had time to accept it, once I suspected, once the healer confirmed it. But you…you didn’t suspect anything and I laid it all on you, when you were already under stress.”

“Veki, I still would have wanted to know. I would not have wanted you to wait to tell me once you knew for certain.”

“I think it’s safe to say,” Evelyn started, “that there are things about that night we both regret.”

Khiva reached out to touch her cheek. “Perhaps, we should move forward then.”

Evelyn smiled and Khiva was glad to see it. But then her expression sobered slightly. “Before we do, there is one thing I need to know. And you have to be honest.”

Khiva frowned. “You can ask me anything, leeldra.”

Evelyn’s eyes cast downward before they met his again. “Are you happy about the pregnancy? Or do you wish…”

She trailed off but her question hit him right in the gut, making his stomach churn.

“Leeldra,” he said, his voice ragged. “Pax. Yes. Yes.”

He pulled her into his arms, unable to stand another moment without her in them. Her shoulders relaxed slightly at his words and Khiva felt guilty for not making that clear immediately.

Against her neck, he murmured, “Even from the beginning, leeldra, I have fantasized of making a family with you. I told you that, on Everton even. Do you remember?”

“Yes,” came her soft whisper and Khiva was relieved when he heard the smile in that single word.

“We will have this child and many more,” he said. “Though I will admit, this terrifies me, leeldra. I worry about you often. Now, I will worry about you every moment of the day.”

Evelyn pulled back slightly to look at him. Her hand came up to cup the back of his skull and her touch sent tingles racing down his spine.

“Gorkan said you would.”

He huffed out a breath. “Did he?”

“Yes,” she replied. “And if it’s any comfort, I’m terrified too.”

“We can be terrified together then,” he replied, tracing a hand down her back. “We can navigate this together.”

Evelyn nodded, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. When she pulled back to look at him, she asked softly, “How are you feeling today?”

Khiva swallowed, his eyes flickering.

“I know you’re private about these things, Khiva, but I’m your partner and I am here. And if you need time to heal and process, then I promise I won’t keep asking. But if you ever need to talk about it, you know you can talk about it with me.”

“I know, leeldra,” he said softly. “It will take time, like all things. And perhaps in my own way, I have been grieving, even while I have held onto hope. Now that I know for certain what happened to my family…it hurts, pax, but in the last twelve years, I have come to terms with the worst possible outcome. At the very least, I am thankful and relieved that they escaped Kerivu together, that they lived together, in peace, for as long as the demavs allowed. My only regret is that I was not able to see them again, one last time. In time, I will finish my grieving, and then I will be able to celebrate and honor their lives.”

“And once the baby is born, we will go visit them on Opina,” Evelyn finished for him. “We will put flowers on their graves.”

His throat burned with emotion as he nodded. “Pax, leeldra, we will go visit them on Opina.”

And perhaps then, Khiva would finally have complete peace.