A huge feast awaited her mate the moment he stepped into their dwelling.

Ever since she’d returned from Kxiwi’s hut, she’d begun preparations. Khiva didn’t technically need to eat a grand meal for another couple days, but they were celebrating.

“What is this, leeldra?” Khiva asked slowly, closing the front door behind him. He looked tired, dusty from the mines, and confused.

“Food,” she said smiling, going to greet him. Piles of food were laid out on their table, with three different kinds of meat, two plates of Dumerian fruit, and three plates of roots and vegetables she’d shopped for at the market. Khiva could probably eat the vast majority of it in one sitting.

“Pax, but why?”

Eve pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, smelling his sweat and musk and the hard labor from his day.

“Because we are celebrating tonight,” she told him.

He seemed interested in that, cocking his head to the side to regard her. “Pax? For what?”

“Go bathe,” she told him, as he always did before eating. “I’ll tell you over dinner.”

Khiva looked at her for a brief moment before he pulled away from her embrace and slowly made his way around the jivera tree trunk that jutted up the center of their home. The washroom was located on the other side and he disappeared from view. The pipes started chugging with water once he began to turn on the faucets.

Eve stood there, taking a deep breath, before her eyes went to the grand meal laid out on the table. It was a low table, without chairs, and they sat on cushions on the floor to eat, as was the Dumerian way. All the cooking had tired her, but it couldn’t diminish the excitement inside her.

The only thing that dimmed it slightly, however, was Khiva. She’d be lying to herself if she said he’d been normal since he told her about his meeting with Kavik. But he wasn’t his usual self.

A part of her chalked it up to the mines. They took a toll on him, physically, but even she knew it wasn’t that. Because the past couple days, he’d been distant…preoccupied with his own thoughts, which he wouldn’t share with her.

And she’d heard him last night, up late, even after they’d mated, at the patch line in the sitting room. He’d been trying to connect with the number that Kavik had given him, with no luck, judging by the growing frustration she sensed in him.

She’d yet to even give him the gift she’d made for him, but she planned to that night. Anything to break him out of his seemingly spiraling mood. She also hoped that once he learned of the pregnancy, it would give him joy and give him a reprieve from his thoughts.

It wasn’t long before Khiva reemerged, clean and bare-chested. He took a seat next to her at the table and she noted that he hadn’t applied his oil, something she would help him with later. On Dumera, the climate was similar to Kerivu, or so Khiva had told her, so he didn’t need to apply the oil as often as he’d needed to on Everton.

Even still, they did it nightly, one of their routines that usually escalated into ferocious lovemaking. It always aroused him whenever she smoothed that oil over his body. It always aroused her.

Khiva’s thigh pressed into her own and he stretched his long legs out underneath the table, his feet peeking out on the other side. His hand came to the small of her back and it seemed her whole body fired at that touch.

Khiva pressed his lips to her temple and she smiled, her belly fluttering.

“Eat,” she encouraged, when his eyes met hers with a question in his gaze.

Khiva made a sound in the back of his throat and did as she ordered, moving to heap portions of all the platters she’d prepared, onto her own plate first, before he piled them on his.

Eve liked to cook, but she loved to cook for him. And while it had taken the first month on Dumera to figure out the types of spices and flavorings he liked on his food, Eve prided herself on the fact that he inhaled whatever she put in front of him with satisfaction.

And he always showed his appreciation in other ways, though he didn’t always verbalize it.

Eve dug in herself, because despite her nerves and excitement about the news, she was ravenously hungry, as she’d been almost all month, and now she knew why. To nourish a child, whose father was a Keriv’i, would take a lot of food.

It was only when Khiva polished off his first plate in silence did he turn to her and asked, “Are you planning to tell me what we are celebrating, or will I have to guess?”

Eve chewed the thick cut of meat she’d placed in her mouth and then swallowed, before putting her utensil down.

“Leeldra?” Khiva questioned, the word drawn out and slow. “What is this about?”

“I went to a healer today,” Eve said, meeting his gaze, which searched her own intently. And before he got worried that she was sick, she said, “Khiva, I’m pregnant.”

“You cannot be,” he said immediately, his brows furrowing. Which was definitely not the response she was expecting.

“What?” she asked quietly, her smile fading slightly.

“The contraception implant Madame Allegria gave us does not wear off for another few months,” he told her. “You cannot be pregnant.”

Eve swallowed. “Khiva, I went to a Laoti healer. She ran a blood test. I’m pregnant.”

He grew quiet, continuing to simply look at her.

What the hell was going on?

“Khiva,” Eve said slowly, her heartbeat thundering so loud in her chest that she wondered if he could hear it. She was surprised by the flash of anger that lit up in her chest as she asked, “What are you implying exactly? That if I’m pregnant, it wasn’t your doing?”

Khiva blinked. Then he growled, “Of course not.”

“That’s what you seem to be saying. Because your words don’t change the fact that I’m pregnant, even though you’re saying you couldn’t have gotten me pregnant.”

Khiva blew out a breath, looking away from her with a mumbled word she couldn’t make out. Alongside her anger came hurt. Hurt so deep that it almost stole her breath.

“Khiva,” she said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. His skin felt warm underneath her fingertips but he wouldn’t look at her. “What’s wrong? I thought…I thought you’d be happy. I thought…”

She trailed off, the food she’d just eaten beginning to turn in her stomach.

She held her breath, sitting there in shock, their dwelling eerily quiet as they both didn’t speak.

This was not how she envisioned this moment.

This was, perhaps, the last thing that she’d expected. That Khiva wouldn’t be happy about her pregnancy.

He’d told her once Keriv’i males didn’t take part in the rearing of their children, that it was the mother’s line that raised them. Khiva had confessed to her, during one of the handful of moments he’d spoken of his family, that he’d rarely seen his own father throughout his lifetime.

That night that he’d told her, he’d snuck away from Madame Allegria’s to meet her in the Lake District. They’d laid together in a clearing, with the moon projections high overhead, and it was the first night that Eve hadn’t needed to pay for his company, for his touch. He’d told her about his father and Eve had asked him, if he had children of his own, would he leave them to be raised by the mother, to never take an active part in their lives?

And he’d told her no. And it was that same night, as they mated in that clearing, that he wanted to give her a child, the first indication that he saw a future with her, or at least, the possibility of it.

So, as Eve looked at his turned profile, she couldn’t help but wonder…what had changed?

On shaking legs, Eve stood from the table. Khiva’s eyes flashed up to hers, but he didn’t say anything.

“I need some air,” she breathed, needing to collect her thoughts. Their dwelling suddenly seemed suffocating and nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

He didn’t respond and she walked to the front door and stepped out onto their landing, before closing the door behind her.

Eve dragged in greedy pulls of humid, fragrant air, before sitting down on the edge of the landing, her legs dangling over. In a daze, she gazed towards the colony’s center, towards where she worked, towards where she’d come from earlier in the afternoon, from Kxiwi’s hut.

It had all gone wrong, somewhere.

And she didn’t know what to do about it.

Eve didn’t know how long she stayed outside on the landing, but eventually, she heard movement from inside the dwelling and then the door behind her creaked open.

“Come inside, leeldra,” Khiva said softly, though he stayed at the threshold of the door. “The air is growing cold.”

Eve hadn’t noticed, but she felt her chest twinge when he called her leeldra. When she made no movement to rise, Khiva walked towards her. Eve half-expected him to pick her up in his arms, but instead, he sat next to her, as they did most evenings. And while his thigh touched hers, she felt a distance between them that hadn’t been there before.

Khiva seemed to sense it to because he reached out to touch her cheek. “Leeldra, will you look at me?”

Eve turned her head to regard him.

“I did not handle that as I should have,” he murmured, his voice quiet, his eyes studying her own.

No shit, she thought silently.

“I…” she licked her lips and tasted the moisture from the humidity. “I don’t know what to say, Khiva.”

“I am sorry,” he told her slowly. “I—I have not been myself.”

“I know,” Eve said, her throat burning with tears. “I’ve felt it.”

His jaw tightened the smallest amount. “There is much happening right now, Evelyn.” Eva-leen. She’d always loved how he pronounced her name. “This is one more stone to the heap.”

Stone to the heap? She thought, her lips parting.

“This isn’t a stone, Khiva. It’s not a burden or a problem or simply a thing,” she whispered fiercely, brows furrowing. “This is a child. Our child.”

Instead of bringing her comfort, his words only served to dismay her even more. His touch felt cold on her cheek and she pulled her face away.

“I did not mean it like that,” Khiva said, frustration evident in his tone. “I just meant…”

He trailed off and she urged quietly, “What? What exactly did you mean?”

“We have the meeting with the United Worlds contact soon. We have our promise to the others concerning Madame Allegria, about trying to start an investigation. Now, Kavik is here on Dumeria and the possibility that Dhrika knows the fate of my mother and brother,” he said, “if we can ever reach him.”

“None of this changes the fact that I’m pregnant, Khiva,” Eve said. She wanted to shake him until that knowledge sunk in. Because right then, she still didn’t know if he understood. “I’m pregnant. And despite this heap as you call it, this child will come, regardless of if we are ready. Obviously, your contraception implant failed and you denying that I’m even pregnant isn’t helping matters.”

Khiva blew out a sharp breath. “I said I was sorry for how I handled it, leedra. I…I do not deny it. I should not have said that. You just surprised me.”

Silence lapsed between them and Eve waited for something, anything. Any kind of reaction at all besides what he’d given her.

When it was clear that he wasn’t going to say anything further, Eve admitted softly, “I was excited to tell you, Khiva, because I thought you would be too. I’ve suspected for a couple weeks now.”

“You did not say anything about it,” he said softly, looking out in the forest of the jivera trees.

“I wanted to be certain,” she said, her heart the heaviest it had ever been since coming to Dumera.

Khiva made a gruff sound in the back of his throat and though she thought that by now, she would’ve heard and recognized all of his sounds, she didn’t know what it meant, what it signaled. Perhaps, given the way he’d reacted to the news, she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did.

They both went silent again and Eve didn’t move an inch. His thigh was still against hers, but he felt lightyears away. And she wondered if she’d told him about her suspicions before Kavik had told him about Dhrika, would his reaction be any different?

He’s just exhausted from the mines, she tried to tell herself. He isn’t himself. He’s stressed about contacting Dhrika, knowing that once he does, he might find out the truth.

The truth he’d searched for for so long.

Finally, he spoke, “Kavik and I will be journeying to the southern tip of Dumera tomorrow.”

Eve’s eyes went to her lap. “Why?”

“Kavik believes the patching connection might be stronger there. To reach Dhrika.”

The southern tip was a full day of travel away.

“How long will you be gone?” she asked quietly.

“Three days. I will patch through to you once we begin our return.”

“And if you can’t reach him? Will you journey all the way to his home colony and search for him, Khiva?” Eve questioned, turning to look at him, her tone hardening.

“If that is what it takes,” he said immediately, “then I will.”

“When were you going to tell me?” Eve asked.

“This night, which I have. We only just decided today.” He turned to look at her, but he still didn’t seem like her Khiva. “You will be alright here while I am gone?”

Eve felt a headache start to come on. The night had gone so horribly wrong. A part of her wished this was all a terrible dream, that she would wake up and try again. That Khiva would actually be happy about their baby, growing within her at that very moment.

Abruptly, she stood from her seated position on the landing. Khiva caught her hand, making her still.

In answer to his question, she said, “I’ve lived on my own before, Khiva. I’ll be fine.”

Khiva let go of her hand, studying her closely. When she turned to go back inside their dwelling, he said softly, so softly that she almost didn’t hear him, “They are my family, leeldra. I need to know what happened to them, before I can move forward. Please understand this.”

Her heart softened slightly, but it didn’t change that his words had hurt her that night.

“I do understand, Khiva,” she whispered. “But aren’t I your family now too?”

His expression stilled, his whole body seeming to still.

And before she accidentally let out the tears that had been building throughout their entire conversation, she said softly, “If you’re done eating, I’m going to go clean up.”

Eve didn’t wait for him to respond. She scurried back inside.

The grand meal she’d made for them lay mostly untouched on their table, though the scent of it still lingered in the air.

The sight of it finally unleashed her tears and Eve stood with her back to the door and began to cry.