Chapter Thirty-Six
Chance
As usual, the graduation ceremony took way too damn long. I saw student after student come up to receive their diploma and even though I clapped along with the rest of the auditorium, I was detached from the experience.
My eyes kept falling onto Natalie. She was seated a fair distance away, but it was close enough that I could still see the stark blue of her eyes. We had made eye contact only once, and I tried to remember not to let it happen again. Lindsey was seated on the other side of the stage, so I couldn’t speak to her.
The only time I had actually concentrated on the ceremony was when Natalie’s name was announced. She was wearing a demure off-white dress under her graduation robes and looked gorgeous. I could see from the way her back was arched that she was taking pains to avoid my gaze and I couldn’t blame her.
As soon as the ceremony was over, I stood and made my way through the crowd towards Lindsey. However, Dean Mueller blocked my path before I could reach her.
“Chance,” he said.
“Dean Mueller,” I nodded.
“Your performance review came in last week,” he said. “You did well.”
That surprised me. “Really?”
“You sound surprised.”
“I don’t mollycoddle my students,” I said. “I just figured that that might have counted against me.”
“Students very often appreciate when a teacher is straight with them,” he replied. “That was actually in one of your student’s reviews…word for word.”
“That’s gratifying.”
“You should be pleased,” he continued. “Your lectures were always strong, and your students did very well in their finals.”
“I heard.”
“I can only imagine that it had something to do with the number of assignments you gave them.”
“It’s the best way to keep them on their toes.”
“I like your style,” Dean Mueller said decidedly. “Which is why I offered you a permanent position here at the university. I was surprised to be told that you hadn’t accepted it yet.”
I hesitated. “I don’t know if I’m staying in the States for much longer,” I admitted.
“This is a good position, Chance,” he said. “If you work hard, you’ll be looking at tenure in a few years.”
“I understand, and I appreciate the offer, but I don’t really know if I’m made to stay in one place for any period of time.”
“I’ll need your answer by Monday.”
“Understood,” I nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
Dean Mueller nodded, shook my hand, and walked off the stage with the dispersing crowd. I looked around for Lindsey, but she had disappeared. I was walking through the rows of chairs when I turned to the left and came face-to-face with Natalie.
She was holding a small bouquet of flowers and was standing beside her parents, who were looking proud as punch. We both hesitated awkwardly at the run in, but it was too blatant a meeting to try and avoid her now. So instead of turning and running, which is what I would have preferred to do, I stood my ground and gave her a small nod.
“Congratulations.”
Her answering smile was beautiful but sad, and I wanted to kick myself for causing the pain on her face. “Thank you.” She nodded, as her parents eyed me curiously. “Mom, Dad…this is one of my professors.”
Gulping back my discomfort, I turned to Natalie’s parents and smiled. “It’s very nice to meet you both,” I said, shaking both their hands. “You must be so proud. You have an exceptionally talented daughter.”
“We know,” Natalie’s mother nodded.
I realized that Natalie took after her mother in looks. Mrs. Raisman had the dark hair and the blue eyes that she had passed on to her daughter.
“Natalie has told us so much about your class,” Mrs. Raisman continued. “She said you were one of her favorite lecturers.”
“Well, she was one of my best students,” I said, trying to keep my remarks generic and detached. “Her assignments were always well researched and well written.”
“That’s our Natalie,” Mr. Raisman nodded.
“It was very nice meeting you, but I should get going,” I said.
Natalie looked a little disappointed, but I avoided her eyes and headed towards the exit. As I walked away, I heard snippets of the conversation Natalie was having with her parents.
“He’s quite young to be a teacher…”
“What’s his name?”
I walked a little slower so that I could hear Natalie’s answer. Instead of answering them, however, she diverted their attention by pointing to her friend. “Oh, there’s Missy, she’ll want to say hi to you two.”
I left Natalie to her little family moment and headed outside. The lawn had been freshly mowed, and students milled around with their families, taking pictures and catching up with friends. I continued my search for Lindsey, but I couldn’t seem to find her anywhere.
It was then that I saw Jason. He was standing by the water fountain alone, and he had his hand placed awkwardly over his face. I took a few steps forward and realized that he had a black eye and a bruise that ran down one side of his face. He looked awful, and I felt a spark of satisfaction at the sight. At least there was something to be said for Karmic retribution.
I watched him hide beneath the shadow of the fountain. If he hadn’t blackmailed me into breaking up with Natalie, I might have actually felt sorry for him. I saw someone walk up to Jason and say hello, so I moved a little closer so that I could hear the conversation without being seen.
“Hi, man,” a gangly boy with short cropped brown hair said. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Nothing,” Jason mumbled, his voice slurring a little. I realized that he’d probably lost a few teeth, too.
“It doesn’t look like nothing,” the boy said. “It looks like someone beat you good.”
“I fell,” he insisted.
“Sure, if that’s your story,” the boy nodded. “What are your plans?”
“My plans?” he repeated. He sounded annoyed and fed up.
“Yeah, you must have some plans now that you’ve graduated?”
“Oh, right. I’m moving.”
“Oh, cool. Where to?”
“The East Coast probably. I’m done with the Midwest.”
“Geez, what did the Midwest ever do to you?”
“Fucked me over,” Jason replied. “But good.”
His friend laughed as though he thought Jason was joking. When it became apparent that he wasn’t, the boy gave Jason an awkward smile and nodded. “Well… Good luck, man, wherever you end up.”
A part of me was thrilled Jason was leaving. But a part of me didn’t entirely trust it, either. I was fairly certain that he was not the type of guy to leave without laying some sort of trap and I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of falling right into it.
I turned and left Jason by his lonely spot behind the fountain. I was about to give up on Lindsey and head to my car when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around, only to be faced with Natalie. The sun was slanting down on her face, casting her blue eyes into high relief. I resisted the urge to tell her how stunning she looked. Instead, I forced my expression into one of impatience.
“Hi,” she said timidly.
“Hi,” I replied, without emotion.
“You look well.”
I shifted on my feet. “You do, too,” I replied shortly, hoping that Jason wouldn’t see us talking.
“Thanks for saying hi to my parents,” she continued, and I knew she was filling the time with random things to draw out the conversation.
“Of course,” I nodded. “I would have said hi to any of my student’s parents.”
I saw her face fall a little at my words, but I held myself together.
“Mom and Dad are wanting to walk around and get the feel of my campus. They haven’t been here together before.”
“Do they know who I am?” I asked bluntly.
“Do you mean do they know that we dated?”
“Yes.”
“They knew I dated a guy named Chance,” Natalie told me. “I never told them that Chance was my professor.”
“Oh.”
“And I never mentioned your name to them, so as far as they’re concerned…”
“I’m just one of your professors and nothing more,” I surmised.
“Yes.”
“Would they not approve?”
“Does it matter now?” Natalie asked.
“Fair point,” I nodded.
She was looking a little nervous, and even though I was curious as to why, I knew I needed to leave soon before my resolve weakened. She seemed to sense that I was about to leave because she took a tiny step towards me and blurted something out so fast that I couldn’t decipher a single word.
“What?” I asked. “I didn’t catch that.”
Natalie blushed scarlet and all I wanted to do was reach out and hug her.
“I… I wanted to know if you would have dinner with me tonight,” she repeated, slowly and clearly this time.
I raised my eyebrows. “That’s not a good idea.”
“But—”
“We’re broken up, Natalie,” I said firmly, reminding myself that her future was at stake. “Dinner is off the table for us now.”
“I know that… I’m not asking you out on a date,” she clarified. “I just want to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“About us,” she answered honestly. “I need you to explain to me what really went wrong because I don’t feel like I know the whole story. I need to know the whole story, Chance… I need the closure.”
I was instantly nervous. “I gave you my reasons.”
“But you didn’t really explain them.”
“And you really want me to sit down with you over a meal and explain my reasons to you in detail?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t you think that’s going to be painful for you to hear?” I asked, when what I was really thinking was it was going to be really painful for me to say.
“Possibly.” She nodded. “But I need this, Chance… I need this if I want to move on once and for all.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. As much as I wanted her to move on and be happy, an equally large part of me was scared that she would move on and forget me. Not that I didn’t deserve it, though.
“Wouldn’t you rather spend the night with your parents?” I asked, hoping for some kind of escape.
“I’m spending the whole of tomorrow with my parents,” she informed me. “But tonight, I’m free.”
“What if I’m not?” I asked.
Natalie’s face fell visibly, and she didn’t attempt to mask her emotions. “Did I mean absolutely nothing to you?” she inquired softly.
“Of course not.”
“Then if you ever cared for me at all, can’t you give me this one dinner?” she asked. “Just give me the closure I need.”
It was a reasonable request, and I knew I was being a jerk. I looked over towards the water fountain, but Jason was no longer there. I sighed and nodded silently, accepting her request without grace.
“Thank you.” She nodded. “Where would you like to meet?”
“Maison de Campagne,” I suggested immediately.
Natalie’s eyes went wide for a moment. “The restaurant where we broke up?”
“Yes.” I nodded, hoping that would deter her a little.
She seemed to breathe deeply, before nodding. “Okay, then,” she said. “Seven o’clock tonight?”
“I guess so.” I nodded in defeat.