Chapter 1

The memories of the accident were still clear in Susan’s mind. It had all happened too quickly. The Suburban she was riding in with friends was suddenly flooded with light, and they were struck from the side by a semi-truck that had lost control on the slick bridge they were passing over after prom.

The force of the collision sent the SUV spinning out of control, a tire catching on something in the road, sending the large vehicle into a horizontal flip. The semi broke through the railings of the bridge and went sailing off the edge into the darkness. Screams filled the air as the SUV rolled several times and finally came to rest upside down on the opposite side of the bridge. Then, there was nothing until Susan woke up the next morning in the intensive care unit of the hospital.

After some initial confusion, it had been the doctor who had given her a lowdown of her less serious injuries and then delivered the harshest blow. Even now, her words still resounded in Susan’s mind.

“Susan, this is going to be very hard for you to hear. You have suffered damage to both eyes due to small fragments of glass from the accident. The corneas in your eyes are no longer functional. What little vision you might have maintained will go away as they heal and scar over. I am afraid the damage is just too much to repair. At some point, transplant may be an option, but it could be a while before that becomes a viable solution and, even then, there are risks involved,” the doctor had said.

Glass. Damage. Transplant. The words had whirled about in her head as she tried to grasp the fact that she was now blind and might be forever. Even now, it was hard to accept that she’d never see anything again, but she had learned to cope, to move forward.

“Susan? Are you going to answer that?” The sound of Harika’s voice jarred Susan from her thoughts. She had been so engrossed in remembering the events that had led to her current world of darkness that she hadn’t even heard the phone ringing. Pushing the button on her headset, she spoke quietly and calmly into the microphone near her mouth.

“Hello. My name is Susan. How may I help you?” she said.

“I’m thinking about taking my life,” the man said from the other end.

This was Susan’s life now. Once she had healed from the accident, she had started volunteering at a suicide hotline several days per week. Calls like this one were routine, and she had been trained well for them. Most were from teenagers that just didn’t know how to process the surge of emotions they felt. Others, like the one today, were adults who had gone through troubled times and just didn’t know how to heal from it. She managed to talk him into reaching out to others before ending the call nearly twenty minutes later.

“Susan, you have a call on the regular phone,” Harika told her, bringing the cordless over and placing the receiver in her hand.

“Hello? This is Susan. How can I help you?”

It was weird getting a call on the office phone. Everyone knew not to bother her here. In the five years since her accident, she had volunteered here and no one had ever called her on this line. In fact, both the number and the location of the hotline center were kept a secret to preserve anonymity.

“Susan! It’s Dad. I know you don’t like to be called when you are at the center, but I need to come and pick you up right now. We just got a call from the hospital. They have an eye donor for you. I’ve got your overnight bag in my hand, and I’m on my way to get you.”

Susan could barely believe her ears. She managed to say “okay” before holding out the phone for Harika to take from her. “I have to go, Harika. My father is picking me up to go get new eyes.” She knew it sounded weird, but Harika understood completely and let out a loud whoop of excitement for her.

“I’ll get a replacement on the way for the lines. I’m so happy for you, Susan. Are you scared?” Harika asked.

“Terrified,” Susan admitted.

Moments later, she was standing outside the center when she heard the wheels crunching on the gravel in front of her. She knew that it was her father. Since losing her sight, she had begun to pick up on the details that identified not only a car, but the specific car that her father drove. There was a distinct lull of the engine and an unmistakable sound that the tires made when pulling up in front of the center.

She waited patiently for him to come around and help her into her side of the car as her mother waited quietly. Though she was silent, Susan could smell her perfume and hear the rustle of her dress against the leather seats. There was no doubt that she was praying silently, as was prone to do when she felt nervous and unsure of things to come. Susan reached for her, touching her shoulder and feeling her squeeze her hand in quiet solidarity.

“I’m so excited, Susan. Let’s go. They gave us an hour to fetch you and get you there. This is one boat we aren’t about to miss!”

“I’d like to make it there in one piece, if you don’t mind. Otherwise, we won’t need to worry about whether I can see,” Susan said as he drove like a maniac toward their destination.

“I’m an excellent driver...excellent driver,” he replied.

Susan laughed nervously. This was a very big deal. If everything went just as she hoped, she would be able to see again soon. She cautioned herself again to not to get too excited. The doctor had warned her about the chances that this might not work. She had suffered a lot of damage that might prevent a successful transfer. As they pulled up to the hospital, she could feel herself shaking all over. This was it. This was the moment of truth.

“Good afternoon, Susan. It looks like we are going to see about getting some light back in your life today. I know that we have talked about all of this before, but I want to go over it with you one last time prior to taking you in to prep for surgery,” he was saying before launching into the details of the surgery.

“Okay,” Susan replied, but she knew her voice was no more convincing than she felt. He wasn’t her regular doctor, but a specialist called in just for the transplant.

“Basically, we will make a very precise incision around your cornea and remove it from your eye. We will replace that with the donor cornea and stitch it into place with tiny threads. That’s all there is to it. Afterward, you will have to wear metal eye shields for a few days to protect it while it heals. I don’t want you to think that you are going to suddenly see everything, because you will be covered in protective bandages for at least a few days. After that, we will remove the bandages and you will be able to see a bit, but it will take time for your vision to improve with the new corneal transplants. I just don’t want you to be discouraged when the bandages come off and things are still be blurry for a while,” he said softly.

“I’ll be happy to even see shapes at this point,” Susan confided. It was true. She missed the light more than anything.

“Good, because that may be all that you start with. We’ll just have to wait and see how much vision you have before we can know how successful the transplant was. You ready to rock and roll?” he asked enthusiastically.

“Like a guitar hero getting new strings, Doc,” she said with an anxious laugh.

“That’s my girl. Let’s get you on the road to center stage,” he said.

A nurse so quiet that Susan hadn’t even realized she was there touched her softly on the arm and guided her to the next room, helping her change into a gown and cleaning her face carefully. Within a matter of moments, she was on a table and an anesthetist was introducing himself before telling her what he was about to do. Her eyes were numbed, and she was given a shot.

“This is a very special sedative, Susan. You will be alert so that you can respond to the doctor as needed, but you won’t remember it when it wears off. Can you count backward from ten for me?” She barely made it to three before she faded into a deeper darkness than she already knew. Then, there was nothing for a while until she came to in what she assumed was the recovery area. There was still only darkness, and she felt a little panicky, though the doctor had told her this would be the case. Her mouth felt like cotton and she hoarsely asked if anyone was there.